8/9/2019 I Still Love Him

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I Still Love HimI just finished making dinner when jasper came into the house he looked distressed and upset "jasper baby what's wrong??" i asked very worried "anna just died"anna was one of his secretary's that helped him with everything and she was hischildhood best friend "im so sorry come eat i just finished making the food" i said "no bella im not hungry you can eat without me ima go to bed" he said starting up the stairs "jasper plz come eat" i begged he turned around and looked at m

e with tear-filled eyes that killed my heart "c-can i just please go to sleep please" he begged with sorrow in his crystal blue eyes, i walked up to him and kissed him on his lips and nodded slowly "im sorry i love you" he nodded "i love you too goodnight" he turned and headed up the stairs.

i climbed up the stairs and into the bedroom where jasper was lying across the bed still im his work clothes, i walked up to him and brushed his hair away from his face. i looked at the tear stains that coated his cheeks, i pulled his shoes off and his pants off, then i removed his shirt and tie "i could have done that" his voice startled me i looked up to see jasper sitting up against theheadboard looking at me his eyes dull and lifeless, i sat next to him "jasper baby are you ok?" i asked, he shook his head and the tears came back, i instictively pulled his head against my chest as he sobbed.......hard, i rubbed his back

"shhh" i cooed. He pulled my shirt up and i kept my arms down "take it off" he mumbled "jasper no your not in you right mind now" i stood up and so did he, i seen the fire i have never seen in his blue eyes before but only if he got mad enough "take.it.off.now" he said each word slowly with venom and i instantly got scared, i complied and took my shirt off and my bra then the rest of my clothes, ilooked at jasper and seen him look into my eyes he kissed me very sweetly thenwith the urgency i never knew he had, he layed me down on the bed and entered mevery roughly "jasper that hurts" i cried, he ignored me and kept going, we bothclimaxed together and he cried "im sorry" he repeated over and over in a shakyvoice, i held him close and flipped us over till i was on top, i pulled jasper out of me and held him, i kissed his tears away "baby dont cry plz calm down" i sung a song that i sung to him a few years agoClosed off from love

I didn't need the painOnce or twice was enoughAnd it was all in vainTime starts to passBefore you know it you're frozen

But something happenedFor the very first time with youMy heart melts into the groundFound something trueAnd everyone's looking roundThinking I'm going crazy

But I don't care what they sayI'm in love with youThey try to pull me awayBut they don't know the truthMy heart's crippled by the veinThat I keep on closingYou cut me open and I

Keep bleedingKeep, keep bleeding loveI keep bleedingI keep, keep bleeding love

Keep bleedingKeep, keep bleeding loveYou cut me open

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Trying hard not to hearBut they talk so loudTheir piercing sounds fill my earsTry to fill me with doubtYet I know that the goalIs to keep me from falling

But nothing's greater than the rush that comes with your embraceAnd in this world of lonelinessI see your faceYet everyone around meThinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they sayI'm in love with youThey try to pull me awayBut they don't know the truthMy heart's crippled by the vein

That I keep on closingYou cut me open and I

Keep bleedingKeep, keep bleeding loveI keep bleedingI keep, keep bleeding loveKeep bleedingKeep, keep bleeding loveYou cut me open

And it's draining all of meOh they find it hard to believe

I'll be wearing these scarsFor everyone to see

I don't care what they sayI'm in love with youThey try to pull me awayBut they don't know the truthMy heart's crippled by the veinThat I keep on closingYou cut me open and I

Keep bleedingKeep, keep bleeding loveI keep bleedingI keep, keep bleeding loveKeep bleedingKeep, keep bleeding loveYou cut me open and I

Keep bleedingKeep, keep bleeding loveI keep bleedingI keep, keep bleeding loveKeep bleedingKeep, keep bleeding love

You cut me open and IKeep bleedingKeep, keep bleeding love

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By the time i was finished he was sound asleep, i kissed him on his forehead "goodnight, love you" i closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

The next morning i woke up and jasper was laying on my chest snoring quietly, i untangled myself from his grip and took a shower, when i came back intothe room jasper was awake facing the bathroom "good morning" i gently kissed himon his lips and he stood up and hugged me "im sorry i am so sorry for last nigh

t" i rubbed his back "its ok go take a shower then come downstairs and eat" he nodded and headed to the bathroom.i got dressed and went downstairs to make his favorite breakfast: french toast and eggs smothered in ketchup and OJ while i just ate special k and drank OJ myself, jasper came downstairs and we ate in silence "why do you keep eating that stuff?" my head snapped up and i looked at jasper's eyes and see them get a darkershade of blue "jasper its good for me we've had this conversation alot now justdrop it!" i really didnt mean to yell but he just keeps bugging me about it, igot up and threw my stuff into the sink. i ran a hand threw my hair and spun sround to face jasper who sat still, i walked to his side and touched his shoulder"jasper-" before i could finish jasper flipped over the small table and spun around to face me,i seen the fire take over his eyes and he slapped me, the force

knocked me to the side and i fell on the floor, it was deathly quiet me sobbingand jasper breathing hard i sat up on my elbow and looked at jasper, he reachedfor me as i jumped up, i ran into our bedroom and closed and locked the door. islid down and cried, jasper banged on the door "bella, please don't do this. Itwas an accident baby, I swear. I didn't mean it. Open the door so we can talk about it." i shook my head but i know he couldnt see it "n-no" i held my burningcheek in my hand and cried, i heard jasper slide down the door and his sobs which was louder than mine (this is a rhyme i got from another story i couldnt thinkof another one) "jazzy jazzy jazzy poo" i sang to him as i faced the door, i knew it was an accident i pushed him too far "cmon jazzy baby you know your part iknow it was an accident i just need to hear you finish it plz" i begged his sobs calmed down only to sniffles and i knew he was listening "jazzy jazzy jazzy poo" i waited "wont you be my honey boo?"i heard him finish, i slowly unlocked the

door and opened it, jasper hugged me close to his chest and led me to the bed where we made love then fell asleep.

Is this the end?? sorry for not updating my grandmother thought it wouldbe fun to take my laptop away and try and get me to be nice so i can get it back, so she gave it back and at my graduation i earned 100$ and i spent 80 of it on food and doughnuts. GIVE ME UR IDEAS PLZZZZZZZZZZ LOVE ALL YOU POSITIVE COMMENTERS THATS WHOSE IDEAS I NEED