If Its Sunday, It Must Be Eggnog.By David Alan SmithI should think by looking back at my youth that I might find the answes fo the man whoI have become, all laid out neatly in some way that clealy defines all the twists and tuns that bought me hee today, but I eget that this is not the way it is.!emembeing is moe a e"odeing of events fom ou minds that though time has had the o##otunity to change whateve we might believe was caved in stone to actually be ou own histoy, with ou biases, feas and $oys attached.%e have a name fo #esons who have eached matuity& we call them 'gown"u#s(.)his is eally a misnome, I think, because the natue o matuity suggests that one is fully develo#ed, which is not necessaily so.I come fom a family of nine, with thee bothes and thee sistes. I gew u# in a middle class family with middle class values. My geneation de#ended on ou #aents fo lifes lessons unlike the childen of today who ely on )* fo thei educational and moal instuction.I used to think that much is lost in this new geneation of tube"boobs, who did not have the ich e+#eiences of the Baby Boomes. ,ow, I wonde if one geneation has any advantage ove anothe, as times change, #eo#le change elatively little. %hat one may lean fom a close elationshi# with a #aent does not insue that that lesson is a #oductive e+#eience. Afte all, Attilas mom must have thought she did he vey best in aising he son. And I must admit, thee ae a few, though not many, good shows on )*.My MotheMy mothe was a com#le+ individual. -e fathe wanted boys, so I think she always tiedto fit in his mold #efeence. )hat is not to say she was not a nutuing mothe, she was, u# to about age thee, afte that, you wee #ettyon you own, She loved babies, and by last count had seven of which I am the thid. I was the only #lanned one, I think, because thee was a wa going on, and theefoe I was #ut on hold until *"Day.She had many talents and was well educated fo he day, gaduating fom Smith and %ellesley. She did gaduate wok at .ale and was #ublished in the field of botany.She e+#ected us to be as academic as she was, but did nothing to instill that in us by assisting us o guiding us in ou education. She was self motivated and thought that he offs#ing would do the same.She was vey esouceful, and I believe #assed that down to us as #obably the most valuable asset we got fom he. She was moe comfotable outside that doing the domestics that most women did. -oweve, she did sew, and made most of ou clothes when we wee young.She neve s#aed the od, gave #aises aely. She taught us to s#eak kindly to othes, and not to be #e$udice in ou dealing with othes as well. She was a task maste, who loved small childen, but suffeed anyone olde than thee.She lived to be /0, and died in he own home, something that she wanted to do. So fotunate should we all be.My DadMy fathe was em#loyed by the adio station, %1A), one of the fist talk adio stations inthe county. -e was a had woke with high ethical standads. -is ability to communicate with othes outside the family was su#eio to those same skills when a##lied at home. -e was a kind and gentle man, a sha# wit, though sometimes to a fault, I mean he could cut you with his wit if he wanted to, and I leaned how to caft cynicism to an at fom fom him. I have since leaned the benefits of a moe humble a##oach to life and ho#e to im#ove on this as I continue to gow.My fathe wanted a small family and got a big one. I think he felt a bit disa##ointed in this, but I think that unless thee is eason to doubt my #aentage, he had much to do withthis. At any ate, he was involved with me and my olde bothe and siste a lot moe thanthose unde me in age. )his is natually something my younge siblings have had to deal with, but too much o too little of what we think we want often shades ou self images if we let it.)he best times I ecall with my fathe wee at 2histmas. ,ot that he was diffeent then fom the est of the yea, but I guess he was $ust thee with us, as a family, at a $oyous time, made it diffeent fo me. -e was to be es#ected, that was his u#binging and mine, but he was vey well es#ected outside the family and in the community in his own ight, which made us all #oud of him fo his accom#lishments.I used to make him laugh with my #aticulaly witty sense of humo. I liked that, I liked anything I could do to make him smile at me, fo thee wee few of those that I got fom him.3ne 2histmas, I made a mobile, a hanging at fom fo him. -is #assion was astonomy and he was the founde of the 4lanetaium in Miami. )he mobile was a wie scul#tue of a man flying in s#ace, a buttefly in one hand, tying to catch the stas that wee all aound him. I hung it in the house between the two columns in the living oom, whee it emained fo yeas, even afte his death. I asked my mothe once why he neve took it down o moved it to some othe #lace in the house, and she told me that he liked it vey much and wanted it to be $ust whee I #ut it so he could see it evey time he #assed by it.-e neve told me how much he liked it, it wasnt his way to do that.3ne day, when I was in my foties, I asked him why he neve said that he loved me. -is es#onse was sincee and shot, 'I guess I always thought you knew that, without me having to say it.( I didnt feel hut by his es#onse, because this was in his chaacte not to s#eak anything but the tuth, but I told him it would have been nice to hea the wods $ust the same. )he ne+t day, I answeed the doo at my house, which was a block away fom his doo, to see him standing on my font #och. I asked him if eveything was all ight, and he e#lied it was, but that he $ust wanted to do# by and say hello. -e came in and sat down and we stuggled at having a convesation fo about half and hou and then he left. I felt glad that he came by, to see me, his son. It was es#ecially nice to have him do# ove fo the fist time eve in my life. -e #assed away about a yea late.I used u# the bette #at of my life not having a good oveall feeling about my fathe. I found faults that botheed me, genetically and moally. But in looking back at the numbeof times that I went to him fo hel# thoughout my life, I was awakened to the tuth that itwas the same numbe of times that he came to my doo. I have a bette undestanding now about the man who sometimes seemed like my fathe, but who always loved me.My 5andfatheMy gandfathe was lage than life. 3 at least he was fo the time he was alive. Back in 06 I emembe diving ove to hel# him, he was sto##ed by a motocycle co# fo an im#o#e tun on his way to chuch. %hen I got thee, the co# was glancing ove his dives license, when the co# noted, ')his says you bithday is 700/, and this is 06, accoding to this you havent even been bon yet8( -e looked at it again, and said, '-oly cow8. )his says 7/0/ not 700/8( And let him go.-e had a ough life, made millions, lost it all in the 5eat De#ession, and eaned it back again befoe he died at age 09. I loved him vey much. Although he was not easy to talk with on many things, he loved to s#eak of his youth, and his memoy and mind was sha#as a tack ight u# until a few weeks befoe he #assed.-e was fond of telling $okes and always cacked me u# with his delivey of the $oke, moe that the $oke itself. Most of his $okes wee ones that had a moal comment to them. 3ne of my favoites was about saying something nice to someone, in defeence to not saying anything at all. It went like this:)hee was a bashful boy who was afaid to ask a gil to the dance.-e went to his fathe who told him, not to woy, and $ust com#liment he on the fist thing that came to his mind. 5ils like that, he told his son.So the boy asked the gil to the dance, and when he was dancing with he silently fo a bout five minutes, unable to think of what to say.;inally he bluted out,( .ou sweat less than any fat gil I know8(3f couse and the end of the $oke, my gandfathe would belt out the loudest laugh you have eve head, I honestly believe he loved to hea himself tell the $oke ove andove again $ust fo the fun of making himself laugh.-e was many things in his coloful life, but he loved to #aint and fo that we had something in common. -e took me with him and my gandmothe to thei cottage on Mathas *ineyad, and we would #aint the landsca#es we saw togethe. -e was fond of me, but a had and disci#lined man who suffeed no fools. -e became a moal com#ass fo me and I always admied his manne of tying to bette himself.%hen my gandmothe died at age /amaica( would get me stated. Being atistic by natue, I eally en$oyed the #ictues of long waistcoats, ti"coneed hats, hi# boots and swod and swash. I would co#y them by dawing my own #ictues of them on the back of bown #a#e bags fom the gocey stoe. I dont emembe why we neve had white #a#e in the house, and I was limited in my uled notebook #a#e fo schoolwok, but it didnt bothe me. I had what I needed and that was $ust fine with me. I needed to find a way to make my shi#. )hings always a##ea lage when you ae a child, so this hel#ed when I wanted to constuct my boat& an / foot dinghy was as good asa