IGP CSAT Paper 2 Interpersonal Skills Interpersonal Skills Interpersonal Communication Skills Part 3

8/13/2019 IGP CSAT Paper 2 Interpersonal Skills Interpersonal Skills Interpersonal Communication Skills Part 3

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understood about ourself and about l ife, then we can understand them. What we will learn might be unexpectedand surprising, but that is the nature of discovery.

Be suspicious when someone would tell us that they know all the answers and that there is only one fixedway of achieving personal development. What we need is OUR way, the answers that are needed OUR answersand our path will become clear only as we are discovering it.

Clearing

Clearing your mind puts things in their right place and it brings a greatly increased emotional and mentaclarity. L ife can become much more simple and comfortable.The mind contains many wrong answers. To be moreprecise, no answer is fully wrong, but it might be used out of context without awareness of where it belongs. Anyemotional response can be useful in some situations, and NOT useful in many other situations.

Clearing is the process of realizing and rejecting the wrong answers one has used. These wrong answersarent just thrown away, but they are returned to the time, place and context where they properly belong.

Clearing the wrong answer is very easy once you discover what it is really about. I f it is currently not easyit is because you havent yet discovered everything about it. There is something more to learn. Sometimes youmight think that you know what is wrong with you, but it doesnt resolve it. I t just means that there is more

work to do.The truth of the matter is that there is nothing wrong with you. But, you might have incorrectly identified

with answers that are currently wrong for you. Straightening that out can make you much more yourself.

Programming

We all depend on a whole lot of mental programs to function in life. These programs are the sub-consciouspatterns that determine how we think and respond to situations.Most programs are hidden. For example, whenwe talk we dont have full awareness of our choice of words and the grammatical sentence construction. Weprobably just feel like saying something, and the sentences somehow come out allright.

Sometimes our programs dont work in the most useful way for us. Sometimes we dont have an appropriateprogram for what we want to do. That is when we might want to change the programming of our mind.

Programming is the process of establishing useful ways of HOW to do things. That might involve the discovery

of how we already do things, the construction of more powerful methods, and the re-training of our sub-conscious.Our mind is basically a set of tools that can help us to get more out of life. We can increase our abilitiesand our enjoyment by sharpening the tools we have and by adding more tools. That can help us to deal with lifein a more resourceful manner.

Permanent personal change doesnt have much to do with conscious intellectualizing. To be different. weneed to feel and respond different, not just talk differently. Therefore it is very important to engage our sub-conscious mind in any desired change that we wish to make.

Processing

A process is a distinct activity that addresses an existing situation and gradually changes it into somethingelse. I t basically means that we will work on an issue in a systematic manner.Personal change can be pursuedsystematically by engaging in various processes.

Processing is the ongoing activity of working on areas where change is desired. Many different techniquesmight be applied. Typically a technique will be chosen that fits the situation at hand and it will be used until youget a noticable result from it. Processing is not just random attempts to figure something out, it is the skilledresolution of issues.Processing is not doing something to us. It is simply an educational vehicle to help us changeour own way of being for the better.

The practitioner will ask us, the client, questions and will ask us to do specific things in a typical processingsession. The questions will be intended to help us discover more about ourself. The directions will be intended tohelp us to experience things differently, and to develop our personal resources.
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As an overall heading we can call it all Semantic Processing. Semantics is the study of meaning, the underlyingmental and spiritual structures that life is based on. Semantic Processing is therefore a fancy way of saying thatwe work on understanding our life better, and supplying us with a mind that does what we want it to do.

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONThe key to our success in life, in work, and in relationships is Effective communication. Misunderstandings

errors, frustration, and conflict on a daily basis can be reduced with Good communication skills .While it is anundisputable fact the communications forms one of the essential basis of human existence, yet most individualsoverlook the need to refine their communication skills, from time-to-time. Effective communication skills is a mustwhether it is individual or then effective team communication skills.

The phatic phase:This is the initial exploratory phase, which determines the course of the conversationThis begins with the greetings and accompanying gestures such as eye contact, the smile, etc. In a formal encounterthere is more distance between the individuals, as compared to in the case of an informal encounter. This phase isalso known as the warming up phase. There is a no meaning and intention, but just the setting for the next leveof the conversation.

The personal phase:This is the second phase in which the individuals bring a more personal element intothe conversation. During this phase one generally brings down their social guard and begin to interact moreopenly. They are ready to let the others involved in the conversation more about themselves and the hesitationdecreases. Interpersonal interactions generally move into a third phase. Otherwise professional interactions aregenerally confined to this stage.

The intimate phase:This phase is mainly meant for conversations between friends, family and relativeswhere those involved in the conversation share a higher level of intimacy with each other. This phase ofcommunicating usually entails opening ones heart and sharing rather intimate details, which is not a part ofprofessional conversations.

Keeping in mind these phases, one becomes more aware of how their conversations should progress andwhere they need to conclude a conversation, or extend it for that matter. Effective skills in communication calls foawareness and attentive listening.

Communication takes place when one person transfers some understandable data to another person.The reameaning of communication is getting the receiver and the sender tuned together for a particular message.It alsoincludes the exchange of thoughts, opinions, sentiments, facts, and information between two or more personsFeedback is very important as it assures that your message should be properly conveyed to the receiver.

The salient & essential features of an effective communication system are keys for productive communicationThe main principles or characteristics of an effective communication system are following:-

1. Reliability and uniformity of the message.

2. Correct timing.

3. To know the main purpose of the message.

4. Clearness and integrity of message to be conveyed.

5. Use of proper medium to convey the message properly.

6. Use of informal communication.

7. Adequate briefing of the recipient.

8. Accurate plan of objectives.

9. Proper response or feedback.

The following are some important guidelines to make communication effective

1. Be careful while communicating, of the overtone as well as basic content of your message.

2. Prepare yourself for transmitting the message in a proper way.
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3. You must discuss with others, where appropriate, in planning communication.

4. Seek not only to be understood but understand.

5. Try to simplify your thoughts before communicating your message.

6. Take the opportunity to suggest something of help or value of the receiver.

7. You must analyze the intent of each and every message.8. Consider the overall physical setting whenever you communicate.

9. Follow-up your communication.

10. Be sure your actions support your communication.

COMMUNICATION STYLESWe use and choose one of four basic communication styles,every time we speak: Assertive, Aggressive, Passive

and Passive-aggressive.

Assertive Communication

Assertive style is the most effective and healthiest form of communication. I ts how we naturally expressourselves when our self-esteem is intact, giving us the confidence to communicate without games and manipulation

We work hard to create mutually satisfying solutions when being assertive. We communicate our needsclearly and forthrightly. We care about the relationship and strive for a win/win situation. We know our limitsand refuse to be pushed beyond them just because someone else wants or needs something from us. Surprisingly

assertive is the style most people use least.

Aggressive Communication

Aggressive communication always involves manipulation. We may attempt to make people do what we wantby inducing guilt (hurt) or by using intimidation and control tactics (anger). Covert or overt, we simply want our

needs met - and right now! Although there are a few arenas where aggressive behavior is called for (i.e., sports orwar), it will never work in a relationship. Ironically, the more aggressive sports rely heavily on team members and

rational coaching strategies. Even war might be avoided if we could learn to be more assertive and negotiate tosolve our problems.

Passive Communication

Passive communication is based on compliance and hopes to avoid confrontation at all costs. In this mode wedont talk much, question even less, and actually do very little. We just dont want to rock the boat. Passives havelearned that it is safer not to react and better to disappear than to stand up and be noticed.

Passive-Aggressive Communication

A combination of styles, passive-aggressive avoids direct confrontation (passive), but attempts to get eventhrough manipulation (aggressive). If youve ever thought about making that certain someone who needs to betaught a thing or two suffer (even just a teeny bit), youve stepped pretty close to (if not on into) the devious and

sneaky world of the passive-aggressive. This style of communication often leads to office politics and rumour-mongering.

Communication Methods to Avoid

In the workplace sarcasm should be avoided at all costs. Imagine the case of someone who has just had anawful experience in a meeting and has handled it very badly, and a colleague says You handles that meetingreally well! Sarcasm is fine among a bunch of friends indulging in a bit of friendly mickey-taking in the pub, butin the workplace it is a very negative form of communication. Another thing to avoid is talking down to people. It


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Principle

1. Look forareas of interest

2. Overlook errors delivery

3. Postpone Judgement

4. Listen for ideas

5. take notes

6. Be actively repeonsive

7. Resist distractions

8. Challenge your mind

9. Capitalise on mind speed

10. Assist and encourage

the speaker

Good Listener

Seeks personal enlightenment and/or

informationentertains new topics as

poteinially interesting.

Attends to meaning and content ignores

delivery errors while being sensitive to anymessage in them.

Avoids qu ick judgements wa its unti l

comprehensiono of the core message is

complete.

Listens for ideas and theme. Identifies the

mainpoints.

Takes careful notes and uses a variety of

note taking or recording schemes

depending on the speaker.

Responds frequently with nods unhuhs etc.

shows active body state works at listening.

Resists being distracted longer concentratin

span places loaded words in perspective.Uses difficult material to stimulate the mind

seeks to enlarge understanding.

Uses listening time to summarise and

anticipate the message attends to implicit

messages as well as explicit messages.

Asks for clarifying information or examples,

uses reflecting phrases helps to rephrase

the idea.

Bad Listener

Turns out dry subjects narrowly defines what is

interesting.

Ignores if delivery is poor misses messages

because of personal attributes of thecommunicator.

Quickly evaluates and passes judgement,

inflexible regarding contrary messages.

Listens for facts and details.

Takes incomplete note using one system.

Passive demeanor few or no responses little

energy output.

Easily distracted, focuses on loaded or emotional

words, short concentration span.Avoids di ff icul t material does not seek to

broaded knowledge base.

Daydreams with slow speakers becomes

preoccupied with other thoughts.

Interrupts asks trivial questions makes

distracting comments.

makes them feel insignificant and unworthy, and will lower and perhaps destroy their confidence. Steer clear ofphrases such as :

v Im not going to give you that job, because you havent done it before.

v I dont think you should be doing that, because youre not qualified.

v I dont think youre experienced enough.Dont make people feel inadequate. Build them up, and they will rise to your level of expectation. Here are

some useful phrases that can be used to help build confidence

v I d like you to carry this out, because then I know it will be handled properly.

v Im going to ask you to do this because I know I can trust you.

v Youre the best person to handle this.Clearly, for many reasons, the only healthy communication style is assertive communication. Surely you can

identify many people in your own life that favor each of the four styles. Most of us use a combination of these fourstyles, depending on the person or situation. The styles we choose generally depend on what our past experienceshave taught us will work best to get our needs met in each specific situation. If you take a really good look atyourself, youve probably used each throughout your lifetime.

Understanding the four basic types of communication will help you learn how to react most effectively whenconfronted with a difficult person. I t will also help you recognize when you are using manipulative behavior toget your own needs met. Remember, you always have a choice as to which communication style you use. I f youreserious about taking control of your life, practice being more assertive. I t will help you diffuse anger, reduce guiltand build relationships - both personally and professionally.

Principles of Effective Listening


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Some Dos & Dons for Effective Listening

Keit h D avi s has giv en some guid el in es for effecti ve li steni ng:

1. Show a talker that you want to listen.

Act interested.

Do not read your mail while someone talks.Look interested.

Establish eye contact and give noverbal responses.

Listen to understand rather than to oppose.

2. Be patient

Allow plentry of time.

Do not interrupt a talker.

Dont start for the door or walk away.

3. Stop talking!

You cannot listen if you are talking.

You cannot be an effective listener while you are talking.Nature has given person two ears but only one tongue, which is a gentle hint that they should listen morethan talk.

Listening requires two ears, one for meaning and one for feeling.

Decisionmakers who do not listen have less information for making sound decisions.

Polonious (Hamlet) Give every man thin ear, but few thy voice.

4. Empathize with a talker.

Try to see the other persons point of view.

Connect with the person by sharing a similar experience.

5. Put the talker at ease.

Help a person feel free to talk by making him or her comfortable.

Create a permissive atmosphere by establishing rapport.6. Hold your temper.

Pause before you speak or respond.

An angry person takes the wrong meaning from words.

7. Ask relevant questions.

Asking questions encourages a talker and shows that you are listening.

It helps develop points further.

8. Go easy on argument and criticism.

These approaches put a talker on the defensive side and she or he may calm up or become angry.

Do not argue, even if you win, you lose.

9. Remove distractions.

Dont doole, tap, or shuffle papers.

Training for Developing Effective Listening Skills

1. Develop an empathetic feeling that is by putting oneself into the speakers shoes (in his frame of mind)Mentally be prepared and receptive. You can also have note in short for remembering, i.e., as an aid tomemory.

2. Show attentiveness or alertness by facial expressions, gestures or body language as eye contact, raisedeyebrow, nodding of head, pleasant expression, and other positive gestures.


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3. Pay attention or concentrate on what a speaker is saying.

4. Avoid getting distracted by looking here and there, at the door or window, by playing with pen or pencil, etc

5. Remove everything from your mind; be receptive to speakers message only at that moment.

6. Try to read between-the-lines, the hidden message through words, gestures and expressions.

7. have positive approach and attitude towards the speakers.8. For understanding, ask questions and clarify doubts. Concentrate on speakers message (idea and words).

9. Avoid arguments and remember what speaker has said.

10. Be patient and calm.

BUILDING RELATIONSHIPSWe interact with various type of individuals in ever aspect of life we are in, whether getting involved in the

social activities, building our career path, or socializing with family and friends. With familiar people with whomwe are in close contact like our family and friends or with new acquaintances,such interaction may occur. We mayalso build a connection over a period of time with our work colleagues or members in a club. The fact that weinteract with people everyday means that we are building a relationship with these individuals as we associate

ourselves with them in one or the other way.

Concept of Relationship-Building

The term relationship is rooted from the word relation and is defined as a a mutual affiliation or connectionbetween individuals or groups of people or entities.

Where there is mutual understanding between or among individuals, relationships are built.Establishing arelationship has certain requirements for it to develop. This concept is especially true if the individuals have justinitiated a mutual connection.It simply needs to be fostered and nurtured for an existing relationship such as thatof family members.

We all engage in various kinds of relationships that are rooted from a particular need of the person. We havefamily relationships, romantic relationships, and friendships for personal and emotional needs. We form businessrelationships with our colleagues and customers to meet our professional needs and demands.

Most relationships, if not all, are not always positive. There are times when the mutual bond of the individualsis tested by adversities and challenges. Taking care of a relationship is no different than nurturing a plant. Fattedrelationships are brought about by a weak foundation. Successful relationships are strengthened and hardenedby the test of time.

Requirements of a Relationship

I t must be between & among individuals and entities for a relationship to be born. No relationship exists fora single person only. Shared interests between people form a relationship. Any common interests lead the way forbuilding relationships.

Usually, we create a connection with someone who can offer something that we can relate to. We bondreciprocally because of love and care with our family members and friends.We maintain a relationship with theorganization by making a contribution and in return, we get rewarded or compensated for it, in the workplace.Employees form a relationship because of shared ideas and work interests.

Communication is another factor that plays an important role in forming relationship. Trust and respect arealso very important aspects in a relationship.A relationship does not exist where there is no constant interactionwith another person.

Benefits of Building Good Relationships

The process is actually challenging though it may appear easy to build relationships with people. Once arelationship or a bond with another individual is broken, mending it can be difficult. However, if the mutual


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connection is developed and sustained, the outcome can be remarkable. A well-built relationship can create animpact in our lives. Socialization skills are enhanced as we connect to people around us positively.

We are able to easily attain personal and career goals because we are surrounded with individuals whosupport us in many aspects with good relationships. An organization successfully achieves its mission-visionwhen employees or the team members are in a harmonious relationship with each other. With good mutua

associations, an individual personally finds contentment and satisfaction in many things.

For a relationship to grow and become unrelenting, it has to be nourished and maintained. A good relationshipcan make wonders in the life of each one of us.Building a relationship with others is not easy, unless the connectionalready exists.

GOAL SETTINGThe process of setting goals helps you choose where you want to go in life. By knowing precisely what you

want to achieve, you know where you have to concentrate your efforts. Youll also quickly spot the distractionsthat can, so easily, lead you astray.Many people feel as if theyre adrift in the world. They work hard, but theydont seem to get anywhere worthwhile.

A key reason that they feel this way is that they havent spent enough time thinking about what they wantfrom life, and havent set themselves formal goals. After all, would you set out on a major journey with no realidea of your destination? Probably not! Goal setting is a powerful process for thinking about your ideal future,and for motivating yourself to turn your vision of this future into reality.

Reasons for Setting Goals

Goal setting focuses our acquisition of knowledge, and helps us to organize our time and our resources so thatwe can make the very most of our life.Goal setting is used by top-level athletes, successful business-people andachievers in all fields. Setting goals gives us long-term vision and short-term motivation.

By setting sharp, clearly defined goals, we can measure and take pride in the achievement of those goals, andwell see forward progress in what might previously have seemed a long pointless grind. We will also raise ourself-confidence, as we recognize our own ability and competence in achieving the goals that weve set.

Starting to Set Personal Goals

We set our goals on a number of levels:

v First we create our big picture of what we want to do with our life (or over, say, the next 10 years), andidentify the large-scale goals that we want to achieve.

vThen, you break these down into the smaller and smaller targets that we must hit to reach our li fetimegoals.

v Finally, once we have our plan, we start working on it to achieve these goals.This is why we start the process of goal setting by looking at our lifetime goals. Then, we work down to the

things that we can do in, say, the next five years, then next year, next month, next week, and today, to startmoving towards them.

Step 1 : Setting Lifetime GoalsThe first step in setting personal goals is to consider what you want to achieve in your lifetime (or at least, by

a significant and distant age in the future). Setting lifetime goals gives you the overall perspective that shapes alother aspects of your decision making.

To give a broad, balanced coverage of all important areas in your life, try to set goals in some of the followingcategories (or their categories of your own, where these are important to you):

Attitude:Is any part of your mindset holding you back? Is there any part of the way that you behave thatupsets you? (If so, 3t a goal to improve your behavior or find a solution to the problem.)


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Physical:Are there any athletic goals that you want to achieve, or do you want good health deep into oldage? What steps re you going to take to achieve this?

Education:Is there any knowledge you want to acquire in particular? What information and skills will youneed to have in fer to achieve other goals?

Career:What level do you want to reach in your career, or what do you want to achieve?

Family:Do you want to be a parent? If so, how are you going to be a good parent? How do you want to beseen by a partner by members of your extended family?

Financial: How much do you want to earn, by what stage? How is this related to your career goals?

Artistic:Do you want to achieve any artistic goals?

Pleasure:How do you want to enjoy yourself? (You should ensure that some of your life is for you!) PublicService Do you want to make the world a better place? If so, how?

Spend some time brainstorming these things, and then select one or more goals in each category that bestreflect what you want to do. Then consider trimming again so that you have a small number of really significantgoals that you can focus on.Make sure that the goals that you have set are ones that you genuinely want toachieve, not ones that your parents, family, or employers might want,as you do this.

Step 2 : Setting Smaller Goals

Set a five-year plan of smaller goals that you need to complete if you are to reach your lifetime plan,once youhave set your lifetime goals.

Then create a one-year plan, six-month plan, and a one-month plan of progressively smaller goals that youshould reach to achieve your lifetime goals. Each of these should be based on the previous plan.

Then create a daily To-Do List of things that you should do today to work towards your lifetime goals.

At an early stage, your smaller goals might be to read books and gather information on the achievement ofyour higher level goals. This will help you to improve the quality and realism of your goal setting.

Finally review your plans, and make sure that they fit the way in which you want to live your life.

Staying on Course

Once youve decided on your first set of goals, keep the process going by reviewing and updating your To-Do

List on a daily basis.Periodically review the longer term plans, and modify them to reflect your changing priorities and experience

(A good way o doing this is to schedule regular, repeating reviews using a computer-based diary.)

SMART Goals

A useful way of making goals more powerful is to use the SMART mnemonic. While there are plenty ofvariants (some which weve included in parenthesis), SMART usually stands for

v A Attainable (or Action-Oriented). v M Measurable (or Meaningful).v R Relevant (or Rewarding). v S Specific (or Significant).v T Time-bound (or Trackable).

For example, instead of having To sail around the world as a goal, its more powerful to say To havecompleted my trip around the world by December 31, 2015. Obviously, this will only be attainable if a lot of

preparation has been completed beforehand!

Further Goal Setting Tips

The following broad guidelines will help you to set effective, achievable goals :

v Write goals down:This crystallizes them and gives them more force.

v Set realistic goals: I ts important to set goals that you can achieve. All sorts of people (for exampleemployers, parents, media, or society) can set unrealistic goals for you. They will often do this in ignoranceof your own desires and ambitions.


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v I ts also possible to set goals that are too difficult because you might not appreciate either the obstacles in theway, or understand quite how much skill you need to develop to achieve a particular level of performance.

v Set priorities:When you have several goals, give each a priority. This helps you to avoid feeling overwhelmed

by the too many goals, and helps to direct your attention to the most important ones.

v Keep operational goals small:Keep the low-level goals that youre working towards small and achievable

If a goal is too large, then it can seem that you are not making progress towards it. Keeping goals small and

incremental gives more opportunities for reward.

v State each goal as a positive statement:Express your goals positively Execute this technique well

is a much better than Dont make this stupid mistake.

v Be precise:Set precise goals, putting in dates, times and amounts so that you can measure achievement. I f

you do youll know exactly when you have achieved the goal, and can take complete satisfaction from

having achieved it.

v Set performance goals, not outcome goals:You should take care to set goals over which you have as

much control as possible. I t can be quite dispiriting to fail to achieve a personal goal for reasons beyond your

control!

v In business, these reasons could be bad business environments or unexpected effects of government policy

In sport, they could include poor judging, bad weather, injury, or just plain bad luck.

v I f you base your goals on personal performance, then you can keep control over the achievement of your

goals, and draw satisfaction from them.

ACHIEVING GOALSTake the time to enjoy the satisfaction of having done so, when youve achieved a goal. Absorb the implications

of the goal achievement, and observe the progress that youve made towards other goals.

Reward yourself appropriately, if the goal was a significant one. All of this helps you build the self-confidence

you deserve. Review the rest of your goal plans with the experience of having achieved this goal:

v I f you achieved the goal too easily, make your next goal harder.

v I f the goal took a dispiriting length of time to achieve, make the next goal a little easier,

v I f you learned something that would lead you to change other goals, do so.

v I f you noticed a deficit in your skills despite achieving the goal, decide whether to set goals to fix this.

Fail ing to meet goals does not matter much,just as long as you learn from the experience.

Feed lessons learned back into your goal setting. Remember too that your goals will change as time goes on

Adjust them regularly to reflect growth in your knowledge and experience, and if goals do not hold any attraction

any longer, consider letting them go.

Goal setting is important for:

v Motivating yourself.

v Building your self-confidence, based on successful achievement of goals.

v Deciding what you want to achieve in your life.

v Separating whats important from whats irrelevant, or a distraction.

Set your lifetime goals first. Then, set a five-year plan of smaller goals that you need to complete if you are to

reach your lifetime plan. Keep the process going by regularly reviewing and updating your goals. And remember

to take time to enjoy the satisfaction of achieving your goals when you do so.

As you make this technique part of your life, youll find your career accelerating, and youll wonder how you

did without it! If you dont already set goals, do so, starting now.


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CLARIFYING EXPECTATIONSLeaders who want to build high levels of trust need to clarify expectations all the time. Its not enough to say

something once. You need to say it often and have regular check-ins to make sure peoples receivers are tuned toyour transmitter. I f you have a very specific outcome in mind, make sure you communicate it. Dont expect peopleto develop telepathic powers! I f you have a particular expectation in terms of how a report will look, provide anexample. If you know the data you want, explain what it is. I f you have specific selection criteria, communicatethem. You shouldnt expect people to understand intuitively what you want unless youve worked with them formany years. Part of laying out expectations is defining a timetable. Its not fair to leave people guessing whethersomething is due next week or next month. You should also identify the critical path, that is, decisions uponwhich other decisions are contingent and dependent. For example, in opening a new store, the constructionschedule will affect hiring, promotions, acquiring inventory and so forth. Sharing the timetables for critical pathissues and monitoring those timetables is necessary to ensure strong levels of trust.

A key part of clarifying expectations is giving people context so they understand why a given decision isimportant. How does this fit within our overall vision and goals? Why are we focusing on this product line now? Asa middle-manager for a large retail chain told me: My job is to communicate the rationales for our decisionsenlarge understanding, and provide light through the trees.

As you make this quantum leap in managing decisions, clarifying expectations, and delegating decisions,you begin building a Light Speed culture. As shown below, a Light Speed culture is one where people focus on theoverall goal and their role in achieving it. The we/they distinction disappears. What emerges is a culture inwhich people act both like leaders and followers simultaneously.

Step 1 The Hierarchical Culture

A culture in which decisions are made by a boss or series of bosses. Communication, for the most partis one-way, top to bottom.

Step 2 The Goal-Driven Culture

A culture in which people are encouraged to achieve common goals. Communication is more dynamicbecause goals are being articulated and tied to performance measures.

Step 3 The Values-Based Culture

A culture in which people make decisions based on shared understanding of what is essential to thecompanys success and related performance information. Communication is complex, because peopleare empowered to make decisions.

Step 4 The Light Speed Culture

A culture in which the we/they dichotomy dissolves, and everyone is united in a seamless system ofcommunication and performance. Communication is highly complex, because everyone feels empoweredto lead and follow simultaneously.

Personal development refers to activities that improve self-knowledge and identity, develop talents and potentialbuild human capital and employabil ity, enhance quality of life and contribute to the realization of dreams andaspirations. The concept is not limited to self-development but includes formal and informal activities for developingothers, in roles such as teacher, guide, counselor, manager, coach, or mentor. F inally, as personal developmenttakes place in the context of institutions, it refers to the methods, programs, tools, techniques, and assessmentsystems that support human development at the individual level in organizations.

At the level of the individual, personal development includes the following activities

v building or renewing identity

v building employability or human capital

v developing strengths or talents

v defining and executing personal developement plans

v enhancing lifestyle or the quality of life


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v fulfilling aspirations

v improving self-awarness

v improving self-knowledge

v identifying or improving potential

vimproving social abilities

v initiating a life enterprise or personal autonomy

Personal development also includes developing others.The concept covers a wider field than self-developmentor self-help. This may take place through roles such as those of a teacher or mentor, either through a personalcompetency (such as the skill of certain managers in developing the potential of employees) or a professionalservice (such as providing training, assessment or coaching).

Personal development is a field of practice and research beyond improving oneself and developing others. Asa field of practice it includes personal development methods, learning programs, assessment systems, tools andtechniques. As a field of research, personal development topics increasingly appear in scientific journals, highereducation reviews, management journals and business books.

Any sort of development - whether economic, political, biological, organizational or personal - requires aframework if one wishes to know whether change has actually occurred. In the case of personal development, an

individual often functions as the primary judge of improvement, but validation of objective improvement requiresassessment using standard criteria. Personal development frameworks may include goals or benchmarks thatdefine the end-points, strategies or plans for reaching goals, - measurement and assessment of progress, levels ostages that define milestones along a development path, and a feedback system to provide information on changes

STRESS MANAGEMENTTheres nothing you can do about your stress level,it may seem that. The bills arent going to stop coming

there will never be more hours in the day for all your errands, and your career or family responsibilities wilalways be demanding. But you have a lot more control than you might think. In fact, the simple realization thatyoure in control of your life is the foundation of stress management.

Managing stress is all about taking charge: taking charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule

your environment, and the way you deal with problems. The ultimate goal is a balanced life, with time for workrelationships, relaxation, and fun - plus the resilience to hold up under pressure and meet challenges head on.

Identify the reason of Stress in our Life

Stress management starts with identifying the sources of stress in our l ife. This isnt as easy as it sounds. Ourtrue sources of stress arent always obvious, and its all too easy to overlook our own stress-inducing thoughts,feelings, and behaviours. Sure, we may know that we are constantly worried about work deadlines. But maybeits our procrastination, rather than the actual job demands, that leads to deadline stress.

We should look closely at our habits, attitude, and excuses to identify our true sources of stress

v Do we explain away stress as temporary even though we cant remember the last time we took a breather?

v Do define stress as an integral part of our work or home life (Things are always crazy around here) or as

a part of our personalityv Do we blame our stress on other people or outside events, or view it as entirely normal and unexceptional?

Until we accept responsibility for the role we play in creating or maintaining it, our stress level will remainoutside our control.

How we Cope With Stress

Think about the ways you currently manage and cope with stress in your life. Your stress journal can helpyou identify them. Are your coping strategies healthy or unhealthy, helpful or unproductive? Unfortunatelymany people cope with stress in ways that compound the problem.


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Unhealthy Ways of Coping With Stress

These coping strategies may temporarily reduce stress, but they cause more damage in the long run:

vTaking out your stress on others (lashing out, angry outbursts. physical violence)

v Withdrawing from friends, family, and activities

v Zoning out for hours in front of the TV or computer

v Filling up every minute of the day to avoid facing problems

v Smoking

v Using pills or drugs to relax

v Drinking too much

v Sleeping too much

v Overeating or underrating

v Procrastinating

Learning Healthier Ways To Manage Stress

There are many healthy ways to manage and cope with stress, but they all require change. We can either

change the situation or change our reaction. When deciding which option to choose, its helpful to think of thefour As: avoid, alter, adapt, or accept.

Since everyone has a unique response to stress, there is no one size fits all solution to managing it. No singlemethod works for everyone or in every situation, so experiment with different techniques and strategies. Focus onwhat makes you feel calm and in control.

The Four As

Change the situation : Change your reaction

v Avoid the stressor.

v Adapt to the stressor.

v Alter the stressor.

v Accept the stressor.

Avo id U n n ecessar y St r ess

Not all stress can be avoided, and its not healthy to avoid a situation that needs to be addressed. We may besurprised, however, by the number of stressors in our life that we can eliminate.

v Avoid people who stress you out: I f someone consistently causes stress in your life and you cant turnthe relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that person or end the relationship entirely

v Avoid hot button topics: I f you get upset over religion or politics, cross them off your conversation list. I fyou repeatedly argue about the same subject with the same people, stop bringing it up or excuse yourselfwhen its the topic of discussion.

v Take control of your environment:I f the evening news makes you anxious, turn the TV off. I f trafficsgot you tense, take a longer but less-traveled route. I f going to the market is an unpleasant chore, do yourgrocery shopping online.

v Learn how to say No:Know your limits and stick to them. Whether in your personal or professional liferefuse to accept added responsibilities when youre close to reaching them. Taking on more than you canhandle is a surefire recipe for stress.

v Pare down your to do list:Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. I f youve got too muchon your plate, distinguish between the shoulds and the musts. Drop tasks that arent truly necessary tothe bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.


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A l t e r t he S i t ua t i on

Try to alter it, if you cant avoid a stressful situation. Figure out what you can do to change things so theproblem doesnt present itself in the future. Often, this involves changing the way you communicate and operate

in your daily life.

v Be willing to compromise.When you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to do the same. I fyou both are willing to bend at least a little, youll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.

v Be more assertive. Dont take a backseat in your own life. Deal with problems head on, doing your best toanticipate and prevent them. If youve got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got homesay up front that you only have five minutes to talk.

v Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. I f something or someone is bothering you

communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you dont voice your feelings, resentment wilbuild and the situation will likely remain the same.

v Manage your time better. Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When youre stretched too

thin and running behind, its hard to stay calm and focused. But if you plan ahead and make sure you dontoverextend yourself, you can alter the amount of stress youre under.

Ad ap t t o th e St r essorChange yourself, if you cant change the stressor. You can adapt to stressful situations and regain your sense

of control by changing your expectations and attitude.

v Adjust your standards: Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up forfailure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to be okay

with good enough.

v Look at the big picture:Take perspective of the stressful situation. Ask yourself how important it will bein the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If the answer is no

focus your time and energy elsewhere.

v Focus on the positive: When stress is getting you down, take a moment to reflect on all the things youappreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. This simple strategy can help you

keep things in perspective.v Reframe problems:Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than fuming

about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favorite radio station, orenjoy some alone time.

Ad j u st i n g You r A t t i t u d e

Each time you think a negative thought about yourself, your body reacts as if it were in the throes of atension-filled situation. If you see good things about yourself, you are more likely to feel good; the reverse is alsotrue. Eliminate words such as always, never, should, and must. These are telltale marks of self-defeating

thoughts.

v Accept The Things You Cant Change:Some sources of stress are unavoidable. You cant prevent ochange stressors such as the death of a loved one, a serious il lness, or a national recession. I n such cases, the

best way to cope with stress is to accept things as they are. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long runits easier than railing against a situation you cant change.

v Dont try to control the uncontrollable: Many things in life are beyond our control- particularly thebehavior of other people. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can control such as

the way you choose to react to problems.

v Look for the upside: As the saying goes, What doesnt kill us makes us stronger. When facing majorchallenges, try to look at them as opportunities for personal growth. I f your own poor choices contributed to

a stressful situation, reflect on them and learn from your mistakes.


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v Share your feelings:Talk to a trusted friend or make an appointment with a therapist. Expressing whatyoure going through can be very cathartic, even if theres nothing you can do to alter the stressful situation

v Learn to forgive:Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people make mistakes. Let goof anger and resentments. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on.

Mak e T im e f or Fun and Rel a x a t i on Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress in your life by nurturing

yourself. I f you regularly make time for fun and relaxation, youll be in a better place to handle lifes stressorswhen they inevitably come. Healthy ways to relax and recharge

v Call a good friend. v Curl up with a good book.v Go for a walk v Get a massage.v Light scented candles v Listen to music.v Play with a pet. v Savor a warm cup of coffee or tea.v Spend time in nature. v Sweat out tension with a good workout.v Take a long bath. v Work in your garden.v Write in your journal. v Watch a comedy

Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.Dont get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of l ife that you

forget to take care of your own needs.

v Do something you enjoy every day. Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy, whether it bestargazing, playing the piano, or working on your bike.

v Connect with others.Spend time with positive people who enhance your life. A strong support systemwill buffer you from the negative effects of stress.

vSet aside relaxation time. Include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Dont allow other obligationsto encroach. This is your time to take a break from all responsibil ities and recharge your batteries.

v Keep your sense of humor.This includes the ability to laugh at yourself. The act of laughing helps yourbody fight stress in a number of ways.

Th e Rela xa t i on Response

Relaxation techniques that evoke the bodys relaxation response, a state of restfulness that is the opposite ofthe stress response, can control our stress levels. Regularly practicing these techniques will build your physicaand emotional resilience, heal your body, and boost your overall feelings of joy and equanimity.

Adop t A H ea l t h y L i f est y l e

We can increase our resistance to stress by strengthening our physical health.

v Eat a healthy diet. Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress, so be mindful of whatyou eat. Start your day right with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with balancednutritious meals throughout the day.

v Get enough sleep. Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as your body. Feeling tired will increase yourstress because it may cause you to think irrationally.

v Exercise regularly. Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress

Make time for at least 30 minutes of exercise, three times per week. Nothing beats aerobic exercise forreleasing pent-up stress and tension.

v Reduce caffeine and sugar.The temporary highs caffeine and sugar provide often end in with a crashin mood and energy. By reducing the amount of coffee, soft drinks, chocolate, and sugar snacks in your dietyoull feel more relaxed and youll sleep better.

v Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs.Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs may provide an easy escapefrom stress, but the relief is only temporary. Dont avoid or mask the issue at hand; deal with problems headon and with a clear mind.


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EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCEThe concept of emotional intelligence is not yet grasped by Many people. I t is because of this fact that people

tend to forget to practice and enhance it.

I t is not only our Intelligence Quotient that makes the world go round. Even when the world keeps goingaround us, attaining the right emotional intelligence will help us remain standing strong .

The ability to better attune ourself with our feelings is called emotional intelligence. Many people do not haveemotional intelligence because they have a difficulty expressing what they feel or understanding their feelings inthe first place.

It is best to do it under the guidance of someone, who has attained sufficient emotional intelligence themselves.Itis also best to attain emotional intelligence by emulating a model, parents or friends would help a great deal inthis aspect,when we do realize the need to attain emotional intelligence .

The first step in attaining emotional intelligence is in becoming emotionally literate. We have to know whatwere feeling and you have to know whats causing it rather than blaming certain people or certain situations.

The second step is to differentiate our thoughts from our feelings. Our thoughts does not play any role inattaining emotional intelligence, it is our feelings. We have to prevent our thoughts from dictating what we

should or shouldnt feel. Feelings come from within and are stimulated by a person or a circumstance. I t cannot bedictated, it just appears.

One great characteristic of people who have attained emotional intelligence is that they are responsible forwhat they feel and they use these feelings to help them make wise decisions. Knowing and understanding yourown feelings is different from understanding the feelings of others, but both have to work together.We have tounderstand what other people are feeling and respect them for it,in order for us to attain emotional intelligenceIt is important that we empathize with other people and accept their feelings.

Try not to control or lecture others when they are verbalizing their problems to us. This will only put them onthe defensive and any means to help them would fail. Rather, you should just try to listen. People who haveattained emotional intelligence know how to give regard to other peoples feelings and listen to whats evokingthose feelings.

Lastly, try to avoid people who are negative towards us. This will not help us develop our emotional intelligenceit will only hamper it. Give our emotional intelligence room to grow and develop by surrounding ourself withpositive people willing to support us.

Characteristics of Emotional Intelligence

Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist, developed a framework of five elements that define emotionaintelligence:

Motivation: People with a high degree of emotional intelligence are usually motivated. Theyre willing todefer immediate results for long-term success. Theyre highly productive, love a challenge, and are very effectivein whatever they do.

Empathy:This is perhaps the second-most important element of emotional intelligence. The ability to identifywith and understand the wants, needs, and viewpoints of those around you is called Empathy. People with

empathy are good at recognizing the feelings of others, even when those feelings may not be obvious. As a resultempathetic people are usually excellent at managing relationships, listening, and relating to others.

Self Awareness: People with high emotional intelligence are usually very self-aware. They understandtheir emotions, and because of this, they dont let their feelings rule them.They know their strengths andweaknesses, and they work on these areas so they can perform better. Many people believe that this self-awarenessis the most important part of emotional intelligence.

Self Regulation:This is the ability to control emotions and impulses. People who self-regulate typicallydont allow themselves to become too angry or jealous, and they dont make impulsive, careless decisions. They


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think before they act. Characteristics of self-regulation are thoughtfulness, comfort with change, integrity, andthe abil ity to say no.

Social Skills: I ts usually easy to talk to and like people with good social skills, another sign of high emotionaintelligence. Those with strong social skills are typically team players. Rather than focus on their own successfirst, they help others develop and shine. They can manage disputes, are excellent communicators, and are

masters at building and maintaining relationships.

As youve probably determined, emotional intelligence can be a key to success in your life - especially in yourcareer. The ability to manage people and relationships is very important in all leaders, so developing and usingyouremotional intelligence can be a good way to show others the leader inside of you.

How to Improve our Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence(EI) can be taught and developed. Many books and tests are available to help usdetermine our current El, and identify where we may need to do some work.We can also use these tips:

v Look at your work environment.Humility can be a wonderful quality, and it doesnt mean that youreshy or lack self-confidence. When you practice humility, you say that you know what you did, and you canbe quietly confident about it. Give others a chance to shine - put the focus on them, and dont worry too

much about getting praise for yourself.v Examine how you react to stressful situations.The ability to stay calm and in control in difficult

situations is highly valued - in the business world and outside it. Keep your emotions under control whenthings go wrong.

v Observe how you react to people. Do you rush to judgment before you know all of the facts? Do youstereotype? Look honestly at how you think and interact with other people. Try to put yourself in their placeand be more open and accepting of their perspectives and needs.

v Do a self-evaluation.Have the courage to look at yourself honestly - it can change your life.

vTake responsibility for your actions. If you hurt someones feelings, apologize directly - dont ignore whatyou did or avoid the person. People are usually more willing to forgive and forget if you make an honestattempt to make things right.

v

Examine how your actions wil l affect others - before you take those actions. If your decision wil l impactothers, put yourself in their place.

Documents

IGP CSAT Paper 2 Interpersonal Skills Interpersonal Skills Interpersonal Communication Skills Part 3