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Inside A Dream

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Memoir - A Final Project

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Table of Contents

Who Am I

“I’m Beaming”

My Family & Early Life

“The Fall”

“Breakout”

“I Qualify… No Wait; I Defend … No Wait …”

My Philosophy

“Be Yourself”

“Live Life”

Religion Is Key”

My Hopes & Dreams for the Future

“Oh Syracuse”

“A Mind Is a Terrible Thing to Waste”

Summing Up

“Reflection”

“I’m Beaming”

Include your favorite songs’ lyrics and tell why you like them

There have been too many times in my life where I’ve felt that I was alone in feeling that society, especially my generation of peers, is always wrapped up in the successes and riches of “the now” and ignoring the long-established process of growth and the becoming of a unique individual through time. The entire world appears to be thirsting after the goods that “the good life” has to offer, and is undoubtedly willing to go to any extent to obtain those goods, disheartening those untainted few that choose to walk a different path . At the time, it seemed that I was left in a battle field unaccompanied by, fighting for principles of oddity, creativity, individuality, nobility, integrity, serenity, and sagacity. It was only after I heard Lupe Fiasco’s I’m Beaming that I realized I was not alone in my feelings. It was the true sentiment and unforgiving tone behind his lyrics that helped me stead even faster to my initial thoughts of how I should go about my own life to obtain my desired success.

“Today, nobody caresbut tomorrow they will, they will

Today, nobody caresbut, oh, tomorrow they will, they will”

This stanza is the intro into Fiasco’s song I’m Beaming. Already the song speaks to me. It’s an exact summation of my feelings towards people with tunnel vision in life; seeing only one target that’s often completely materialistic and immoral. These types of people robotically follow whatever is put in front of them while they scorn and run down those that march to the beat of a different drum.

“I get my energy from my inner GI be in outer space, but I got inner peace

So tell my enemies that they can’t injure meI know that irritates, you have my sympathies

Well, you should protest, yeah, you should picket meI’m on a losing strike, I’m on a winning streak

I’m out in left field, I’m speaking mentallyBut that’s a better places than where the benches be

I’m feelin’ really good, me and different beatMe and my different drummer, he play the tympanis

See, that’s what got me here, you hearin’ meMe on my black man in the future shit, call me Billy DeeSee, I’m just forward-looking, that’s how I really see

See, while you Valentines, I’m thinking Christmas treesAnd that’s how this would be, even at Mickey D’s

Semicolon, close parentheses

They said my future was darkYou see me now?Just look around

I’m beamin’

They used to talkWhen I wasn’t around

You see me nowI’m beamin’”

The text above is verse one from Fiasco’s I’m Beaming. Everything he speaks here complies with my feelings, which is why this song really spoke to me; it showed me that I was not alone, that I wasn’t wrong for leading my life the way that I have, and most importantly that it is okay to keep doing what I am doing because in the end the lucky pot of gold awaits me at the end of my journey. The bolded parts within the verse are some of the favorite lines that I loved because they really hit home for me. “So tell my enemies that they can’t injure meI know that irritates, you have my sympathies,” expresses the same irritation and pain I feel from people that try to discourage me simply because I don’t follow their lead. “I’m feelin’ really good, me and different beat, Me and my different drummer, he play the tympanis,” this refers to the unique children that march to the beat of a different drum. “See, I’m just forward-looking, that’s how I really see, See, while you Valentines, I’m thinking Christmas trees,” this line is one of my favorites because it summarizes my feelings about the traditional process of self progression and beginning with the end in mind rather than having tunnel vision. Lastly the main chorus, “They said my future was dark. You see me now? Just look around. I’m beamin’. They used to talk, when I wasn’t around. You see me now? I’m beamin’.” The chorus is a proclamation to all of those who ridiculed Lupe, boasting that he is now a success due to his insistence to stay true to himself and his own path.

“The Fall”

Write about your most embarrassing moment

It might be the most classic of tales of all embarrassing moments ever to be told, but my most embarrassing moment was when I fell down in public. Not just an ordinary fall, I was strutting with utter confidence down the halls of my high school in at least 1 inch heels. I had on a cute outfit that I distinctly remember picking out the night before. I just knew that I knew that I looked good and nothing else mattered. Though the floor’s surface was a bit slick, I knew without a doubt that I wouldn’t fall; clearly I was too confident. As I turned the corner around the lockers with hands full of school books and my bags, I lost my balance and crashed into the lockers. Luckily I didn’t fall flat on my face, but if you were to ask me at that moment, I wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference; me stumbling on my own two feet in front of a hallway full of students held the same humiliation as falling face forward.

I think it is completely understandable to feel embarrassed by something like that. No one wants to fall to the ground in front of people who they want respect from, especially when the fall is completely unexpected and you’re feeling on top. After reminiscing though, I think I’m more embarrassed about being humiliated from a stupid fall than actually falling on that day. Through the years I’ve learned that no one is perfect, and to think such a thing is to be absolutely blinded and simply childish. It is okay to fall down sometimes, metaphorically and literally speaking. Falling is a sign of humility and strength. Only those that are smart enough to get back up and learn from their fall go on to conquer. So I guess I am embarrassed to say that at one point I was dumb enough to believe that I was “above” falling flat on my face in front of people that I wanted to revere me as such. I was so caught up in looking great, feeling great, and basking in that greatness, that I forgot the reality of things. So caught up in trying to be this good-looking perfect being, I ignored the fact that I was off-balance, that the floor was slick, that as great as I thought I was, that did not make me an exception to the rules of basic gravity. I had not realized it then, but I was asking for a slap right in the face. It was mercy that gave me the courtesy of giving me a good hard plop on my behind.

Even though it was a simple fall; something that a person can easily recover from and not think twice about, I learned a valuable lesson. I took the fall personally, as I often do with many simple things, and took the steps necessary to think about why the situation occurred in the first place. I know now that anything can happen, at any moment with or without one’s permit. In order to not get knocked over by the spontaneous nature of change and its unpredictability, one needs to know this fact. No one, no matter their status, is above this truth. Falling that day was indeed one of my most embarrassing moments. While the humiliation seemed insufferable and simply an unnecessary burden to bear, it brought me the clarity I needed to realize that a humble and cautious heart is the true bearer of conviction and self-assurance.

“Breakout”

Write about your proudest moment

There was once a time when I shied away from almost everything that was unfamiliar or uncomfortable to me. I didn’t want to face anything that I felt would take me away from the things I felt at ease with. I was scared of things changing that might end up badly. I didn’t want to take a chance. I would have rather had everything stay the same with the guarantee that things would remain safe as they were. I found myself wanting to experience new things that would make life more enjoyable and less predictable but seeing as that change went hand and hand with those things, I couldn’t bring myself to let it takeover. It was only after a long process and period of time that I appreciated the true significance and beauty of change.

It was the help of my friends and peers that made me realize that life is meant to be lived! There was never a specific date and time where I was truly proud to discover this fact, but the reminiscence of the long and almost agonizing process was rewarding and in some ways enjoyable for me to recognize after it was all said and done. After growing out of my shy habits I found it hysterical for someone to walk an entirely different and much more difficult path just to avoid seeing a particular person. I almost cried out every ounce of water in my body from laughing so hard at the thought of staying silent for a whole hour and thirty minutes in a class full of an interesting and eclectic mesh of peers when that time could’ve been spent learning about others and making ties that bond, rather than looking like an antisocialist that acts as if they don’t have anything to say when in all actuality they can say a mouth full. My friends revealed how foolish this was of me. By experiencing all that life had to offer, from social outings to facing unwanted predicaments, my eyes were opened to the obvious fact that spending time being shy and apprehensive is time wasted. Back when I hid inside my so called protective shell I couldn’t comprehend this concept. The glass windows that allowed me to peer out into the world were fogged and heavily obscured. It took the courage of some truly amazing people to break through my barriers and pull me out of what I thought was a safe haven and throw me into the “wolves” that I later recognized to be the most curious and adventurous of cuddly pups that I have now become.

I am proud to say that I now realize the greatest thing that life has to offer; change. It is change that brought about the simple luxuries that we in the 21st century can enjoy. It is change that brought about the revolutionary movements that bettered the lives of millions today. It is change that brought me the eyes to see the error in my foolish and stagnant ways, and because of change I can see now more clearly than ever the spontaneous journey I wish to take ahead without any hesitation.

“I Qualify… No Wait; I Defend … No Wait …”

Argue for or against James Baldwin’s idea that “youth … more”

The period of youth in anyone’s life is a mystery to all. Youth is full of new experiences, unknown encounters, numerous misunderstandings, and countless painful memories. These elements are what makes the period of youth so hard to classify. Is youth a time of pure sorrow later to be forgotten due to substandard memory? Is it a time of careless and effortless joy that passes with the blink of an eye? James Baldwin attempted to answer our inquiries when he stated, “youth must be the worst time in anybody’s life. Everything’s happening for the first time, which means sorrow, then, lasts forever. Later you can see that there was something beautiful in it. That’s because you ain’t got to go through it no more.” In broad –spectrum I agree with Baldwin’s claim, yet there are a few points within his statement that I am not fully capable of holding true to.

I believe one hundred percent that youth can be a struggling time in one’s life, but it is not the worst. Youth is the one time in a person’s life where they are permitted to explore and venture out with no harsh judgment or punishment. Being young is having a golden ticket to a world of pure imagination and limitless dreams and wonders. Anything is possible in the mind of a child. Yes, the world around a young person can be confusing and sometimes harsh on the innocent world in which the young person has created, but one of the many beauties of being young is the ability to love unconditionally no matter the circumstances or harm done. Young people can be stubbornly mad at one moment and the next be completely loving and generously kind. Although with youth comes innocence and sheer love, there is a downside to their fiery spirits.

Young children are extremely sensitive and take in everything around them like an immense sponge. Anything and everything that happens to them will affect them directly. It is up to the influences in their life to make sure that the things that they do encounter aren’t traumatic or negatively life-changing. I agree with Baldwin when he suggests that pain in a young person’s life can seem like forever. Since they don’t know what to expect or what’s next to come in their lives, they don’t see beyond their own pain. Only after they have come out of the situation can they truly appreciate the significance that it had in their life. Most times, the most tragic happenings in our lives are the events that change us for the better. When it comes to the youth, events like these help them grow into the worldly adult that they are so eager to become.

Youth should be the most favorable time in everyone’s life. It is the one and only chance we have to establish a pure-hearted world of our own before we are swept away and shipped off to the cruel and corrupted world in which we were truly conceived. Baldwin is undisputedly correct that a journey in youth can be filled with horrid experiences, but he loses his validity in assuming that the entire expedition is spoiled. Rather the crossing of youth is nothing short of spectacular, because anything is possible in the mind of a child.

“Be Yourself”

Respond to a quote from Self-Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson. Which aphorism of his best suits you and you understanding of the world? Why?

Once I read Ralph Waldo Emerson’s statement, “Be yourself; no base imitator of another, but your best self. There is something which you can do better than another. Listen to the inward voice and bravely obey that. Do the things at which you are great, not what you were never made for,” in his duly noted Self-Reliance essay, I was flabbergasted by how him and I shared the same concepts. It hit straight home for me because I have always been the person to tell others that they are amazing at being themselves; that they possess an incredible gift that no other person does. When I read Emerson’s words I felt like he snatched my own thought right out of my brain! I agree ten thousand percent to the idea that everyone is great at something; because they were specifically designed to be positively perfect to harbor the unique gift that only they were given.

Often time’s people lose sight of the greatness vested within them because they focus too much on the greatness of others. It is Emerson’s suggestion that we not center our thoughts on the gifts of others but more so on what our gifts are, and to concentrate all of our energy into developing and nurturing that gift to its greatest potential. He goes on to say that it is a lost cause in attempting to imitate another person because you won’t have the necessary resources, or granted gifts, to successfully imitate the person for long. Instead, each and every one of us should invest in the awesome talents that we were already granted, because only we ourselves possess such a great and unique combination of blessings; only we can bring out the wonderful gift that was given only to us to bear and offer to the world. If we do not bring out the great gift vested in us, the world and those closest to us will never have the opportunity to experience what it is; ultimately the world is at a loss due to the lack of another not confiding in the gifts granted unto them.

This statement made by Emerson was more than a mouthful. It is to my understanding that he was a moralistic genius ahead of his time. His aphorism, “To be great is to be great is to be misunderstood,” explains exactly how I feel the world views me and my role models. No one can quite figure me out. There is no constant pattern in the things I do or say. I am consistently inconsistent. Unlike the majority of my peers I choose to invest fully into the great gifts that I possess. Like the behaviors of Gandhi or Einstein, I am sometimes treated as an outcast; a psychotic misfit for my ideas and beliefs. And like them, my greatness is misunderstood to those around me. I enjoy living my life the way I live it because soon, like those that tread a similar path before me, I will rise to the occasion of great success, and will have the privilege of sharing with the world the unique gift granted unto me. The gift I protected and nurtured without averting my gaze to look in the direction of the gift of another.

“Live Life”

What saying do you live by? How did it come to be that you found the saying to be true? You must describe the circumstances

Out of all the words of wisdom I’ve ever heard, the two that spoke to me the most were these: Live Life. A very short and simple statement, but these two words hold more weight than one could imagine. The deeper meaning that lies beneath them is so powerful that it could move a mountain of troubles. The inspiring saying Live Life has been my personal motto for some time now, and since then I have been able to live life freely and fully.

During a time in my life where cautiousness and timidity were frequent I came across the saying Live Life. It appealed to me so much simply because it touched base on so many things. First off, it doesn’t ask its audience to do as it suggests, but frankly demands us to do so. The saying is already introduced as a strong and unbending force, perhaps as powerful as it encourages its listeners to be. Secondly, the statement is not only concerning its focus on life, but how one goes about living it. When I heard this I thought of a hundred things to correspond to the saying; the courage to be oneself, the ability to change the situations you’re in, the power to control your own happiness, and the restraint to be content with yourself.

This phrase can apply to so many situations on almost every level it is practically a universal piece of sound advice. When I attempted to apply this sound advice to my own life I found it to be completely rewarding! I took risks in places and situations I hadn’t before. I approached matters differently where in the past I would have shunned away from such things altogether. I found that by living my life instead of feebishly worrying over it, I could fully enjoy all that life has to offer. It was much easier living life than letting life suck the liveliness out of you. Quite frankly, Live Life is a carefree approach to making life all that you want it to be. It suggests that life is not an object or a thing; it is something that must be acted upon. From this truth I’ve learned that life is also nothing short of a privilege and to enjoy such a treasure one must take the necessary steps into their own hands by choosing to live their life and not let it pass them by.

“Religion Is Key”

Write about how you feel about religion/spirituality

For me, a person’s spirit is everything. It’s their sanity, their comfort zone; it’s the thing that makes them whole. According to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary the official definition of a spirit is as follows: the activating or essential principle influencing a person; a lively or brisk quality in a person or a person's actions. Clearly it can be concurred that a spirit cannot only be something related to religion or mystical powers but a force within a person that allows them to be who they are, whether that be good or bad. It is my strong belief that a spirit is most positively influenced when a person has allowed themselves to have faith in a religion. Religion is one of the few things that enables people to believe and stay true to that faith and to confide in the strength within themselves.

It takes a certain type of person to be a true believer and follower to any and every religion. One must be obedient, consistent, tolerant, and most of all patient when it comes to faithfully following a religion. With these elements a person inevitably builds a strong sense of good character and morals that they can value and apply to their daily lives outside of religion. I was brought up from a family that valued and appreciated the Christian values in life and applied them in my daily routines to ensure and instill those values so that they might be carried out not only just in the faith of my religion but in my worldly activities as well. By doing so I became not only a good Christian but a good person as well in the process. I believed and defended my way of living and was unmoved by those who tried to steer me otherwise. It takes a headstrong and powerful leader to stead fast to their religion and beliefs against all oppositions. That’s why religion plays such a major role in a person’s spirit. Without the types of values that religion instills, like the ones mentioned above, a spirit lacks the lively nature that we envision each and every spirit to possess.

A spirit is much like the fire within a being that ignites their passions of what they hold dear to them. Whether it be religion, or family, or even material values that the person’s spirit esteems, it will inevitably be the essence of the person’s overall character.

“Oh Syracuse”

Write about what college you’d like to go to and why

Syracuse orange is the color I see when I envision myself in college flaunting my school pride. For me Syracuse university is the college of my dreams, it has absolutely everything that I want in a four-year institution. It has athletics like football and basketball, which means I’ll get to experience the traditional joys of a college homecoming. The college is located in one the most famous fashion capitals of the world, New York! This factor is perfect because of my desire and aspirations of one day becoming a famous fashion director or noted fashion designer. Being in a city where resources are limitless in the fashion industry gives me a great opportunity to make great connections with big names in the industry and can give me an upper hand on the competition. This also would allow me to get my foot in the door and allow me the chance to learn all that can from the best of the best to further perfect my own creative craft.

Most importantly out of all the reasons that I adore Syracuse University, the main reason I feel that it is perfect for me is because it has an amazingly diverse campus that just so happens to contain a noteworthy fashion design and fashion merchandising program for those who wish to pursue that creative line of work. All of Syracuse’s fashion programs are approved by the Fashion Scholarship Fund (FSF) which means that their programs are extraordinarily successful and productive. Apart from the fact that their fashion programs can mold me into the fashion genius that I hope to one day become, Syracuse is located in an environment in which I have yet to conquer and see. Me being an upcoming senior and having lived my entire life in Charlotte, North Carolina, I feel the immediate need to branch out and experience new things, travel different places, and meet all sorts of different people. I think that if I’m introduced into a totally different environment than what I am used to being in, then I can flourish into diverse city girl that I will need to be in order to succeed in the fashion business.

Syracuse University is definitely a stretch and a ways away from my hometown, but the great opportunities that await me there are without a doubt worth the risk of trying something new. Hopefully through all my efforts so far, I will have earned the opportunity to call myself an “Orange Otto.”

“A Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Waste”

When you die, what do you hope people will remember about you?

The last thing I’d want people to feel when I die is sorrow and sadness. To me it’d be an entire waste of all the things that I’d tried to accomplish in my years of living. I strive to bring joy and good fortune into the lives of those that I enter and it would be a sad defeat to see that in the end, my life brought nothing but tears and broken hearts. If nothing else, I want people to rejoice my departure and celebrate the legacy I leave behind. The thing that I want them to remember most is the intellect and wisdom of my mind and the power of my spoken words.

A person’s mind is the most precious and vital part of their existence. It is the only thing that they can truly protect and monitor themselves without the interruptions and corruptions of anything else. As the saying goes, “A mind is a terrible thing to waste,” and I feel the same way whether a person is living or not. I want the people I know and love to cherish my mind, where creativity and philosophy merged and flowed and outpoured together endlessly. I want my ideas and thoughts to be vested within the hearts and minds of the youth to come, so that they may teach and spread the things I learned as well as the things I did not. When I’m dead and gone, I want the memory of my life to be put to good use. I want them to remember the life I tried to lead. A life where creativity and innovation are in constant overload, and philosophy and curiosity stay active and alert. I want people to look at my life and remember that it was my mind that allowed me to be the headstrong and unbending leader that I will hopefully one day become. The mind is the one thing that is control over every other element of the body, and I would want the event of my death to encourage the living to strengthen, cherish, and appreciate the mind of their own that they have.

The things I’m best at are making people feel good about a situation or themselves. Encouraging the strength of one’s mind is the best way to do that because when people can think for themselves with all perspectives of knowledge, they can make the best judgments and decisions without the help of their own personal cheerleader; without the help of me.

“Reflection”

Write about what you have learned or come to understand about yourself during this project. How did the different modes of writing help you articulate your ideas? Evaluate this project. What questions would you omit? What questions would you add?

1) From this project, I didn’t so much as learn about myself than I did validate what I already knew about me. I came to realize that everything I thought I knew, as far as the subject of me was concerned, I was spot on. My ideas, beliefs, and dreams had not changed much from what they were a year or two ago. This made me feel rather good about myself because it showed that I was certain in my decisions back then and was firm enough to keep them the same. The different prompts back to back were quite a challenge for me. It was like jumping from one idea to the next and mentally I had to stop my mind from going on about one subject so that I could properly focus for the prompt that followed. Nonetheless, the alertness I needed in order to complete each prompt successfully helped me to keep the fluency in my essays constant. I guess the pressure to change from one idea to another was actually a good thing.

2) Overall this project was not as bad as I’d anticipated it to be. I actually enjoyed answering the questions set forth for me to ponder and write about. The prompts I enjoyed the most were include your favorite songs’ lyrics and tell why you like them, Argue for or against James Baldwin’s idea that “youth … more”, write about your most embarrassing moment, and Write about your proudest moment. I liked these the most because they asked about things I was really passionate or excited to write about. I was especially passionate about the following prompt: include your favorite songs’ lyrics and tell why you like them. I loved this prompt out of all the others because this is a topic that I face every day, and it came easy for me to write about it nonstop. I probably could’ve written an entire essay just on that prompt alone. As far as particular prompts that I wasn’t as fond of, I can honestly say that there weren’t any. All the prompts challenged me to revisit thoughts I had once forgotten or think on topics I hadn’t thought of before. Doing this project was an intellectual delight and I enjoyed every part of it.