Jour S-100Proseminar

June 29

What’s new and what’s news

The autobiographical sketches and the obituary writing assignment

The connection between myths and news stories(journalist and author Jack Lule’s proposals)

Roy Peter Clark’s writing tools

The AP Stylebook

Story organization

Leads

Story formats

What’s new?

What’s news?

What made you think?

Turning autobiographical sketches into obituaries.I will send you one of your classmate’s sketches via e-mail by 9 a.m. June 30. The ground rules:

You can’t add anything that isn’t in the autobiography.

Everyone died of natural causes on June 30, 2006.

Everyone’s funeral arrangements are pending.

Obituary format

Full name goes at the top (It serves as a headline, of sorts)

The lead, or first paragraph, repeats the name, tells us when and where the person died. Sometimes the cause of death is noted.

Second paragraph is a single sentence: Funeral arrangements are pending.

The third paragraph is your transition into your classmate’s life story. Often obit writers start by stating where the person was born, to whom (the parents) and when (birth date), if you have that information in the sketch.

Then tell the life story in chronological order. You have 750 words about your classmate. From that, you must craft a 330-word obituary.

Normally, you would end an obituary by listing the deceased’s survivors. If your classmate mentions partners/spouses/children, you may use them as survivors.

For ideas about how obituaries are written, read the obituary page of your newspaper, The New York Times, The Boston Globe, or visit the two obituary Web sites listed on our course Web site.

The first draft is due July 3.

Examples of obit leads from the June 29 Boston Globe, page B9

Patricia Gail Price, an attorney who worked on a historic multi-million-dollar racial discrimination lawsuit against the Denny’s restaurant chain, died June 15 of ovarian cancer at her home in San Leandro, Calif. She was 54.

Jocelyn Y. Stewart, The Los Angeles Times

Lyle Stuart, the maverick book publisher best known for sensational fare such as “The Sensuous Woman,” Inside the FBI,” and “The Anarchist Cookbook,” has died. He was 83.

Dennis McLellan, The Los Angeles Times

Why an obituary in an advanced writing and reporting class?

Obituaries are news in a classic sense: the reader finds out who recently died, often, within the last breaking news cycle.

They are concise biographical stories about the deceased, based on information provided by the family and/or the funeral home. Obit writers cannot add anything to an obituary that cannot be attributed, either to a direct source or a previously published story.

The more famous or well known the person, the more prominent, and lengthy, the obituary. Sometimes they are feature stories, are published on the front page, and link to additional stories about the person. Most are tightly written capsules found on the obituary page. Tight does not mean boring. Obituaries can sparkle.

Revisiting News stories and myths

(Based on “Daily News, Eternal Stories,”by journalist, teacher, scholar and author Jack Lule)

Stories can remind readers of another story. Many of these stories hark to representative stories, characters or themes.

Journalist Jake Lule refers to these as elements of myths, which he defines as “the great stories of humankind for humankind” (15). Such stories use archtypal figures, forms and themes with which readers and hearers identify. News stories can have these elements, as well.

Lule’s master myths

The Victim

The Scapegoat

The Hero

The Good Mother

The Trickster

The Other World

The Flood

Other archtypes often found in newsThe Everyman

The Proud Man

The Giant-killer

The Seer

The Phoenix

The Lovers

Rags to riches

Lost and Found/Prodigal Son

It is important to recognize these archtypal characters, tales and themes. They can help you find the focus of your story, especially if you are writing features. Features, by their nature, often link to larger issues and themes.

But it is dishonest to force a story into a meta-theme or form if it doesn’t truly fit. That’s like Cinderella’s stepsisters attempting to co-opt the shoe, even though it was too small for their feet.

If your reporting does not support such a larger theme or issue, either do more reporting to see if you can develop such a theme, or revisit your idea and your information to find the true theme or focus.

Roy Peter Clark’s Writing Tools

Clark, senior scholar and writing instructor at The Poynter Institute in Florida, began developing his “tool box” in 1995. The tools are based on those used by top writers and editors at newspapers across the country. Clark began with about 20, but the list has expanded to 51.

The tools cover sentence and paragraphs, word choices and language, story organization, structure and style. Some of the tools also touch on how writers work and issues like preparation for writing and writers’ block.

Clark provides an introduction and explanation for each tool, then provides several examples of how writers use it.

He then offers a “work bench” of exercises for the reader.

For example, the first tool focuses on beginning sentences with subjects and verbs, with additional sentence elements “branching to the right.”

Clark explains the tool, then shows how Lydia Polgreen of The New York Times and John Steinbeck built branching sentences. He also offers an example of a sentence with weak structure.

He ends the column with four exercises.

The First Tools

• 1. Branch to the right.

• 2. Use strong verbs.

• 3. Beware of adverbs.

• 4. Period as a stop sign.

• 5. Observe word territory.

• 6. Play with words.

• 7. Dig for the concrete and specific.

• 8. Seek original images.

AP Stylebook

The first stylebook was developed in 1953. It was an attempt by editors and writers at several newspapers to create a uniform style for stories.

The focus was grammar, punctuation, abbreviations and spelling. Since that 60-page booklet, the stylebook has grown to include separate sections addressing business, sports, punctuation and media law.

It is the style bible of news organizations and is updated on an almost annual basis.

The Stylebook is organized alphabetically.

It addresses spelling and usage of words, phrases, tenses and titles.

Reporters turn to their stylebooks almost daily to check abbreviations, whether or not to capitalize a word, whether or not a word is trademarked, correct titles, correct word choice and when to use hyphens.

Reporters also check punctuation. Newspaper style is different from Chicago and other accepted styles.

For example, newspapers do not use serial commas. Writers insert space before and after an em- or en-dash.

More examples:

E-mail, short for electronic mail, calls for the use of a hyphen between the e and mail.

Internet is capitalized. So is Web when referring to a Web site.

The preferred term for weatherman is weather forecaster.

It tells you how strong winds must be if they are gale force (39 to 54 mph).

U.S. (note the periods) is used as an adjective, not a noun, for United States.

Story OrganizationA template from Michael Roberts, The Arizona Republic

Three of these steps are not writing tasks, but will shape the writing.

IdeaIdentify and focus the idea. Get the idea into the form of a question or premise which will set up the tasks. This is the brainstorming part of the process. Use any brainstorming or mapping technique that works for you.

ReportReport until the question is answered or the premise is disproved. Reporting may lead to revisitng and revising the initial idea or question.

OrganizeReview everything and start laying out the story/project to determine the point or focus, and to develop the writing plan. The structure evolves from the organization, as does the central focus. Again, use a method that works well for you, like storyboards, outlines, charts or note cards. This likely will lead to more reporting to answer questions that arise during organization.

DraftWith plan in hand, write the story, using the central theme, or idea, as the main thread (think of a string of pearls: your central theme is your string).

ReviseEdit and rewrite for clarity and precision. Always look to the central focus of the story.

Author and teacher Sam Freedman states writers are always analyzing as they gather information for their stories, and as they organize and write those stories.

He advocates focusing on the events/issues, the impact and the reaction as you develop your stories, especially those relating hard news/breaking news.

Questions that help shape all five stages of organization:

What is this story about?

Why is this story being told?

What does it say about life, the world, the times we live in?

Why does it matter?

What is the point?

What is the most important question this story answers?

How does this story affect the reader?

Theme

All stories need a theme or central question.

Writer Tom French calls the theme “the engine driving the story.”

Logic must govern both the theme and the writing of the story. If an element, scene, quote or idea does not further your story, no matter how beautifully crafted or vivid, then delete it. Editors call this “killing the darlings.”

Leads

Leads are invitations and promises.

They are the “once upon a time” of your story. They tell the reader what kind of story is about to unfold – hard news, feature, explanatory piece – and they set the tone for the piece – informational, conversational, compassionate, humorous.

They say: I have something important, something interesting to tell you or share with you.

They also are very difficult to write. Sometimes they are so apparent during reporting, or while reviewing notes, the reporter almost crows.

Most often, you review your notes and the story in your mind, sorting, ordering, rejecting, rethinking.

Your lead needs to reflect your central question or premise and must at least hint to the five Ws and H.

It must promise the reader that there is a point to what follows.

Three key questions can help you find and shape your lead:

What is this story about?

What’s the news?

What’s the point?

Good coaches and editors tell you not to dwell on the lead. Sometimes what you start with isn’t really the lead at all. You may find yourself rewriting and revising, or moving paragraph 6 up to the top because that’s where the lead really is. Then you rewrite and reshape to fit that lead.

That said, it is important to remember that your lead must link to your central point, question or theme. As you write and revise, be aware of that.

Many beginning writers bury their leads. They have a three or four or 16 paragraph preamble, then finally strike gold. A good editor can help you find the lead and reshape the story, but you need to learn to do that on your own, especially when you are working at deadline.

Some writers use the “Dear Mom” technique for finding a lead. They will start their story with “Dear Mom,” and then begin writing. They find that helps them see “the news” or “the point” of their story.

Two kinds of leads: direct and delayed.

Direct leads get right to the point. Direct leads tend to summarize or analyze the story to come.Most often used in inverted pyramid or straight news stories.

Delayed leads promise a story. These are more often used for features or story packages.They tend to fall into the following categories: anecdotal, significant detail, round-up and emblem.

Summary leads tell you the news up front.

They tell you exactly what happened – or what will happen -- and what is news.

The city council voted. A storm is coming. The president declared war. Three people died in a collision.

The summary lead gets all five Ws in the first sentence, or two sentences.

It is a basic journalism skill and harks to the days of telegraph.

It is the newsboy calling “Extra, extra read all about it!”

The famous Merriman Smith (UPI) lead for the JFK shooting, which he dictated into a phone from a car in the motorcade, is an example of a direct lead:

“Three shots were fired at President Kennedy’s motorcade today in downtown Dallas, Texas.”

His lead is immediate. It is direct. Note it also has drama and places you at the scene. The reader is compelled to keep reading to find out what happened.

This lead would work as well online or orally as it did in print.

Boston Globe direct lead from June 28 front page story, “Israelis strike at militants in Gaza” by Anne Barnard:

RAFAH, Gaza Strip -- Israeli tanks and troops pushed into the southeastern corner of the Gaza Strip early today and Israeli air strikes knocked out three bridges and Gaza’s power station, as the military launched an operation to rescue a corporal kidnapped Sunday by Palestinian militants.

Anne concisely summarizes what happened, noting the key events and the reason for the attack.

Another direct lead is the analysis lead.It puts the news in perspective and provides context.

Here’s the lead for the main story of my No Child Left Behind Series, published in September 2003:

“No Child Left Behind spares no one.

“Its sweeping changes touch every student, every parent, every teacher, every school, every politician and every taxpayer.”

Delayed leads also set the tone for a story.

Anecdotal leads offer an anecdote, set a scene or provide a quote that gives a sense of the story, much like the beginning scenes for a movie or television show.

With the significant detail, the writer starts with an unusual, interesting or significant detail or object, something that makes the reader want to know more.

Round up leads use anecdotes, quotes or data to illustrate a trend.

Emblem leads focus on a person or event as a symbol of the larger theme of the story.

Some leads use quotes or bits of literature as their basis. Chip Scanlan once fashioned a lead for a weather story from a phrase used by economist Arthur Okun:

“The forecast calls for snow, followed by little boys on sleds.”

In a story I wrote about bell makers, I evoked Edgar Allen Poe ‘s poem, “The Bells.” Originally I wanted repeat “bells, bells, bells,” throughout the story, but my editor and I decided instead to hark to the poem in the lead:

“The tintinnabulation of bells begins in the roar of a furnace within sight of the Whitman Mission monument.”

In his front page, May 29 New York Times story on wildlife incursions into the city, Andy Newman used a biblical tone:

“And the great beasts came down from the mountains and crossed the seas and descended upon the cities — the hind and her fawn, leaping fences in the southeast Bronx; the black bear, stout but fleet of foot, stealing through the streets of Newark; the seals of the harbor sunning themselves by the score upon the hospital ruins of Staten Island.

“And the coyote prowled the West Side and took up quarters in Central Park. And the dolphin beached itself on the Turuks' sandy yard in Throgs Neck. And the she-moose, 21 hands high, strayed within 30 miles of the city gates.

“And the wise men stroked their beards and scratched their heads, and they finally declared, ‘This is not normal.’ ”

Story Formats

We’ll focus on six formats:

The inverted pyramidThe hourglassThe circleThe blockThe layer cakeThe wine/martini glass

The Inverted PyramidImage courtesy of The Poynter Institute

The Inverted Pyramid

The inverted pyramid is useful for hard news and for first-blush stories on the Internet.

Picture it as an upside-down pyramid, or triangle if you are thinking two-dimensionally.

The most important information goes at the top, then the writer continues the story with more information in descending order of importance.

The Hourglass

The Hourglass

This is a riff on the inverted pyramid.

The story starts with a summary lead and the key information.

Then it “turns the corner” with a transition into a chronology or narrative that provides context, quotes and more information. Often elements in the summary lead are repeated in the narrative.

The hourglass calls for a strong end, or kicker.

The advantage to the writer: it is difficult to cut at the end.

The Circle

The circle gets its name from the idea of “coming full circle.”

This is a useful form for features and analysis.

The writer focuses on a single person, event or issue in the lead, then continues that focus throughout the story.

All transitions move the story forward on its path. At the end of the story, the writer comes back to the anecdote, question or premise posed in the lead.

The Block

The Block

This is a riff on the thesis or expository style structure.

The story starts with a summary lead, which gives the central point of the piece, then lists the sub-points to be covered in the story.

Each following paragraph, or group of paragraphs (often set off by subheads), focuses on one of the listed points.

Then the story is summarized in the ending and there is a conclusion.

The Block

The Block format is a good way to manage complexity.

The organizing premise is the internal logic and structure of the story.

This story format also works well for narrative if it follows a sequence, with one point leading to the next and building the story.

Subheads help provide clarity by defining “chapters.”

The Layer Cake

The Layer Cake

This is a strong narrative structure. It is used most often for explanatory narrative, and is extremely useful for television and radio. The default structure is a chronology.

The story opens with a scene.

Then the writer shifts to some background/explanatory information.

Then there is another scene, and another shift to background information.

The writer continues in this manner until the closing scene, which usually is set up with a concluding section that summarizes everything that has happened to date (or thus far in the story) and notes what may happen next.

It is critical to have an outline, storyboard or some form of organizational structure for the layer cake so you can keep track of the elements and make sure each furthers your central theme or question.

For the format to work as a narrative, reporters must gather scenes and dialogue in addition to quotes and facts.The reporter must fill the notebook with senses and observation.

There are several advantages to the layer cake.

The writer can sprinkle “gold coins” throughout the story: strong scenes, interesting quotes or dialogue, arresting examples.

The writer can end with a strong scene or quote.

The format is difficult to cut off at the end.

The wine/martini glass

Wine glass

This is primarily a narrative tool and works well for investigations, solving mysteries and tales with a clear arc.

The wine glass starts, as Shakespeare does in “Romeo and Juliet,” with a summary of the entire story.

It begins at the end, then segues to the start.

It then provides the chronology of what happened.

Expository information is folded into the narrative, rather than set apart as it is with the Layer Cake.

Each segment has a point, or small arc, that moves the story forward.

The story finishes with a strong end, usually a scene or summary quote.

This story form can be storyboarded with index cards, like a movie. As with all other formats, each scene must further the point or focus of the story.

Example of a wine glass leadFrom a story I wrote in June 1999 for The Sequim Gazette

Families share pain at sentencing

April Olson, grieving the loss of her daughter, tenderly wiped tears from the cheek of Jeremy Lee, the youth who caused her sorrow. Tears streaming down her face, Olson hugged Lee in the juvenile courtroom moments after the 17-year-old received his jail sentence June 16 for the vehicular homicide that killed Mari Jung, Olson’s 16-year-old daughter.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” the haggard and haunted Lee sobbed aloud as the small woman held him after his sentencing in Port Angeles.

Olson stepped back. She’d received what she wanted most, a gesture of remorse from the Sequim boy whose reckless actions took her daughter’s life.

Jung, a Sequim High School sophomore and softball player, was killed in the early hours of Aug. 28 when Lee lost control of his 1971 Chevrolet pickup truck, plunging over a 75-foot-high embankment on Johnson Creek Road. The accident also killed Patrick Gooch, 22, and injured seven teenage passengers.

The exchange with Olson last week capped Lee’s emotional sentencing hearing.