Lost at SchoolRoss W. Greene, PH.D.

Points to Ponder

“Most challenging kids already want to behave the right way. They don’t need us to continue giving them stickers, depriving them of recess, or suspending them from school” (7).

“Kids with behavioral challenges lack important thinking skills…challenging kids are having difficulty mastering the skills required for becoming proficient in handling life’s social, emotional, and behavioral challenges” (7-8).

“Kids do well if they can” (10).

“Understanding why a kid is challenging is the first and most important part of helping him” (11).

If you identify the skills a kid is lacking, you’ll understand why he’s challenging. You’ll also know which skills the kid needs to learn, and you’ll be better equipped to anticipate the situations in which his challenging behavior is most likely to occur” (11).

“Some kids have the skills to “hold it together” when pushed to their limits and some don’t” (12).

Durable, effective intervention must focus both on the kid (who has the skills to learn and problems to solve) and on people in the kid’s environment (who need to understand the true nature of the kid’s difficulties and provide opportunities for the problem to be solved and the skills to be learned and practiced” (15).

“A kid shouldn’t need a diagnosis to access help” (15).

“Many kids are so disorganized in their thinking – they have so much difficulty sorting through their thoughts – that they’re unable to figure out what’s frustrating them, in which case the process of problem solving comes to an abrupt halt, the problem doesn’t get solved, and their frustration heightens” (17).

“Many kids – often the disorganized, impulsive ones –are notorious for putting their “worst foot forward” (18).

“Learning how to put your emotions “on the shelf” so as to be able to think rationally is an essential developmental skill, and one many challenging kids have failed to develop” (20).

Unsolved Problems

“Specific conditions or situations (sometimes called triggers or antecedents) in which challenging behaviors occur” (25).

The Equation

• Lagging skills are the why of challenging behavior.

• Unsolved problems tell us with whom, what, where, and when the behavior us occurring. (27)

Mantra 1

These children need “adults who can identify

those lagging skills and unsolved problems and know how to solve those problems and know how to solve those problems (collaboratively) so that solutions are durable, the skills are taught, and the likelihood of challenging behavior is significantly reduced” (35).

“When adults change their understanding of challenging behavior, things finally begin moving in the right direction” (35).

“ The essential function of challenging behavior is to communicate to adults that a kid doesn’t possess the skills to handle certain demands in certain situations” (37).

Plan A

“Plan A is when adults impose their will in response to an unmet expectations with kids” (50).

“Plan A greatly heightens the likelihood of challenging behavior in challenging kids” (51).

Plan A

“Plan A doesn’t help us figure out why the kid isn’t meeting our expectations in the first place … Plan A doesn’t teach lagging skills or durably resolve problems giving rise to challenging behaviors” (51).

Plan C

• Plan C means that I understands “why this kid is challenging, and I know I can’t fix everything at once. I also know what unsolved problems we’re working on right now, and this is not one of them. I’m going to drop this expectation, at least for now, so that the kid is more available to work on high-priority problems” (52-53).

Plan B Collaborative Problem Solving helps

“adults clarify and understand a child’s concerns about or perspective on a particular unsolved problem …. Helps the kid understand the adults concerns about the problem… helps adults and kids work together toward mutually satisfactory solutions so that both parties concerns are addressed” (53).

Plan B

“Because challenging behavior tends to be highly predictable, you don’t wait until a kid is in the midst of a challenging episode to try to solve the problem that caused the episode. The goal is to get the problems solved or the skills taught proactively --- before it comes up again” (54).

“Research has shown that the most reliable factor leading people to change – by far --- is the relationship they have with the person helping them change” (54).

Helping

“ Plan B is a relationship-building process” (55).

CPS

“Holding a kid accountable means that the kid is participating in a process in which he’s identifying and articulating his own concerns or perspectives, taking yours into account, and working towards a realistic and mutually satisfying solution” (58).

Goals1. Pursue unmet expectations and ensure

that your concerns about a given kids challenges are addressed.

2. Solve the problems precipitating a child’s challenging episodes in a collaborative, mutually satisfactory, and durable fashion.

3. Teach the kid the skills he’s lacking.

4. Reduce challenging behavior.

5. Create a helping relationship.

Three Step Plan B

1.Empathy

2.Define the problem

3.Invitation

Empathy

• “The goal of the Empathy step is to achieve the best possible understanding of a kid’s concern or perspective related to a given problem.”

• “Empathy involves making a neutral observation about a challenge or problem the kid is having, followed by an initial inquiry.”

• “What’s up?” (76-77)

Define the Problem

• “A problem is defined simply as two concerns that have yet to be reconciled: the kids and yours”

• “Plan B ensures that Both concerns are on the table.”

• “The child needs to become convinced that you’re just as invested in making sure his concerned gets addressed as you are in making sure that yours gets addressed.”

(81-82)

Invitation

Get ready to brainstorm potential solutions to identified concerns.

Restate the two identified concerns “so as to summarize the problem to be solved”

Start with “I wonder…..”

Give the kid the first opportunity to think of solutions.

Don’t be a genius. (84-85)

“Solving a difficult problem durably requires a willingness to let the process of exploring solutions unfold without the adult’s solution being prematurely invoked” (85).

Plan B means that one understands “that the solution is not predetermined” (85).

Ingenious Solution

“Any solution that the two parties agree is realistic and mutually satisfactory” (86).

“Plan B helps you get the information you need to establish what’s getting in the kid’s way and helps you solve the problem durably and collaboratively” (90).

Plan B

• “Always ends with an agreement to talk again if the solution doesn’t go as well as hoped.”

• “Good solutions are improvements on prior solutions that didn’t quite get the job done.”

• “Often the first solution doesn’t solve the problem durably.”

(91)

Emergency Plan B

• Timing matters: “Used in midst of a challenging episode” (74).

• Empathy and reflective listening involves “ repeating the kid’s concern back to him, sticking closely to his exact words” (91).

Key Qualifications for Helping Kids

1. An open mind

2. Willingness to reflect on one’s current practice and try on new lenses

3. Courage to experiment with new practices

4. Patience and resolve to become comfortable with using the ALSUP and Plan B. (95)

Many kids don’t know what their concerns are.

• Educated guesses: tentative hypothesis• Use observation, recollection of past instances

in which the child or others had similar problems• If your educated guess is close the kid will let

you know• Your assumptions about a kid’s concerns could

be wrong• There might be more to the problem than was

captured by the original concern. (117-119)

Remember

If you skip the Empathy step you won’t engage the kid in conversation, you won’t identify and clarify his concern, and you won’t reach a mutually satisfactory resolution to the problem you were trying to address” (119).

Recognize

“Good solutions follow solutions that didn’t pan out so well” (129).

Beginning Mind

• “In your first attempt at Plan B, you focus on a specific unsolved problem rather that a specific lagging skill.”

• “When you are using Plan B to work on problems, you’re simultaneously teaching skills.”

• “By focusing on the who, what, where, and when of challenging behavior, you’re simultaneously addressing the why.” (149)

Plan B Solutions

• Plan B solutions can be categorized into:

A) Ask for or seek help

B) Give a little

C) Do it a different way

(157)

Reluctant Plan B Kids

Just get them talking ----

“give thought to what the kid will talk about rather than what you want him to talk about” (163).

“Good teaching means being responsive to the hand you’ve been dealt.”

(186)

Jeanne Gibbs

“The teacher is a colearner and facilitator, rather than a giver of information. The best solutions are the ones the members of the group develop and own” (188).

Carol Ann Tomlinson

“The teacher is the leader, but like all effective leaders, she attends closely to her followers and involves them thoroughly in the journey (188).”

Fair does not mean equal.

(189)

Dr. Tomlinson

“Children seem to accept a world in which we are not alike. They do not quest for sameness, but they do search for the sense of triumph that comes when they are respected, valued, and nurtured.”

(190)

“ In our classroom everyone gets what they need.”

(190)

Plan B for a Group

Helps group to “achieve the clearest possible understanding of the concerns and perspectives of each group member related to a given problem” (195).

“Thinking big usually requires starting small” (232).

Mantra 2

“Behind every challenging behavior is either an unsolved problem or lagging skill” (252).

“Until we figure out and address whatever is getting in her way, we’ll continue spinning our wheels” (261).

Mantra 3

“Remain calmly optimistic and relentlessly persistent in the face of all odds” (281).

Lost at School: Why Our Kids with Behavioral Challenges are Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help Them

Ross W. Greene, Ph.D.