MAKE COPY SHINE BY EDITING - Walsworth Yearbooks · 2015-09-24 · Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine by Editing When someone is injured and paramedics arrive at the scene, their fi

EDITINGMAKE COPY SHINE BY

YearbookSUITE

Yearbook Suite - Editing - Student JH.indd 1 7/21/14 12:56 PM

Copyright 2014 by Walsworth YearbooksAll rights reserved. This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

Published in the United States of America by Walsworth Inc., Marceline, Mo.

Corporate Office: 306 North Kansas Ave., Marceline, MO 64658800-265-6795

Yearbook Sales and Marketing Office: 7300 West 110th Street, Suite 600, Overland Park, KS 66210800-369-2965

For more information about this curriculum guide or any other Walsworth products and services, visit walsworthyearbooks.com or call 800-972-4968.

AcknowledgmentsSabrina Schmitz, Walsworth Yearbooks Sales Representative, and unit author Alex Blackwell, Vice President of Communications and MarketingKristin Mateski, Manager, Yearbook MarketingJamie Chambers, Design and Creative Concepting SupervisorAmy Spears, Senior Graphic DesignerElizabeth Braden, CJE, Communications EditorEvan Blackwell, Copywriter T. Edward “Blaze” Hayes, Area Sales ManagerMike Taylor, Journalism Specialist

Consultant Valerie Tanke, CJE, Walsworth Yearbooks Sales Representative


By Sabrina Schmitz

Walsworth Yearbooks Sales Representative

STUDENT WORKBOOKEDITINGMAKING COPY SHINE BY


Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine by Editing

EDITING


walsworthyearbooks.com Make Copy Shine by Editing | Yearbook Suite 1

The long-awaited day has fi nally arrived. The yearbook is being delivered and every staffer anxiously waits to tear into those boxes and break the binding on their precious publication. All the sleepless nights, last-minute photo-ops and computer blindness have all been for this moment — seeing the satisfi ed look on the faces of your peers. You hand out your pride and joy to a student and watch them walk away smiling, but then they stop… turn… and head back to you.

You know what comes next.“You spelled my name wrong.”“Do you know you spelled varsity wrong?”“That’s not what grade I’m in.”

Maybe the perfect publication is a pipe dream. There is just too much to do in such a short time to make sure everything has been copy-edited and fact-checked. However, no matter the excuses we make, this fact remains: errors diminish credibility and journalistic integrity.

How can we be trusted to tell a student’s emotional tale or accurately document the history of a school year if we can’t spell the word “success” correctly?

You can’t learn to edit copy overnight. It is an art that is learned and acquired over time with practice.

To get started, we need to look at the foundation for building an insightful eye for copy-editing by examining the following areas:

EDITINGMAKE COPY SHINE BY

SUBJECTIVE EDITINGEditing for the big picture

OBJECTIVE EDITINGEditing for the small details

Lesson 1: Assessing the Story Lesson 2: Leads and LanguageLesson 3: Editorializing Lesson 4: Quotes and Transitions

Reading your work for clarity and quality

— Editing for the small details

Lesson 5: Copy-Editing MarksLesson 6: AP Style RulesLesson 7: The Editing Process

Reading your work for polish and mechanics


2 Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine by Editing

When someone is injured and paramedics arrive at the scene, their fi rst responsibility is to assess the situation. They must determine the nature and severity of the problem before they ever go into action.

The same is true of copy editing. Before we jump in with our red pens and bleed comments and editing marks all over someone’s hard work, we must fi rst diagnose the piece.

Allow your mind to roam freely over the story and see what you react to. Your original thoughts may be jumbled and confused, but you can organize them later. Edit for the “big picture” fi rst, because if the story lacks a message and focus, then it doesn’t much matter if a few words are misspelled.

GET READY: The best editors are those who continually expose themselves to quality writing. By constantly reading good writing, a copy editor learns what to expect when editing. Editors need to internalize the qualities of strongly written pieces, so they can identify the weaknesses in the writing in front of them.

The best editors are also writers. How can you expect to edit a story and advise a reporter on how to best fi x it if you are not going through the same struggles? Writing is not a black-and-white operation and neither is editing. It is complicated and the only way for an editor to be effective is to understand what it is like to be on both sides of the process.

Lesson 1Assessing the Story Objectives – In this lesson, you will:

Learn to read through copy to fi rst assess what it needs in terms of information and editing

Learn to look for angles in stories

Begin to practice questioning every word and sentence in a story for accuracy, grammar, spelling and punctuation



GET IN THE MINDSET: A keen editorial eye is obsessive. The savvy editor has the mind of a perfectionist — no small error should be left unaddressed and no comment should be left unchecked.

GET STARTED: Read through the story once without making a single mark. Allow yourself to see it through the eyes of the audience. Note your initial reactions and questions.

• How did you feel after reading it?• What message did you take away from the story?

Remember, the best writing is invisible. If the piece is well-written, the ideas will suit the story so well that the message, not the language, will make an impression.

DETERMINE THE DAMAGEAfter the fi rst read-through, determine the severity of the situation. Is this editing process going to be a walk in the park or is this story on life support and in need of a ton of attention? Are a few word choice corrections going to solve the problem, or do we need to go back to the drawing board and re-organize it entirely? Are small fi xes enough or will it need a complete overhaul? Figure this out upfront so you can prepare accordingly.

GET INQUISITIVE: After reading through the story once and jotting notes about your initial reactions, it is time to establish the internal monologue. Read the piece again and have a conversation with it, as though the story is speaking and you are answering.

• What questions does the story pose? • What parts are confusing/clear? • Am I reacting positively or negatively? Why? • What does this mean? • Why would he/she do this? • Why should anyone care about this? • Why is this important? • What are they really trying to say?• What/who is the source of the information?• Are the facts correct?• Are there multiple sources?• Does the story meet the staff’s guidelines and goals?

Think of it as revision — revision literally means “seeing again.” This time through, try to see the story in as many different ways as possible.



ASSESSTHE STORY

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As Julia Hudson sat in her room, she listened to music while trying not to absorb the chaos that protruded through the walls. Leaving her troubled past behind her, Hudson learned tricks to balancing family and school-related stress.

BothHudsonandAshleeValekenteredamindsetfilledwithhope and took away a new outlook on life after overcoming difficultlifesituations.

With below average grades and violent experiences, Valek chose what to do next in her life.

“IgotintoafightrightbeforeIwentthere,andtheyweretalking about how I need to go to a different school because

I was causing such problems, and I had a choice of whether I stayed here or I went to PACE,” Valek said.

Along with the struggle of the decision to change schools, Valek dealt with a loss in her family.

“My little cousin just passed away, and that made me want to change because life can end at any time, and I don’t want to waste my time having fun. I want to do something worthwhile,” Valek said.

This pushed Valek to attend the Practical Academic and Cultural Education (PACE) Center for Girls, a place that helped individuals learn responsibility and gain self-esteem.

“They assigned me a counselor for anger management, and I talked to her about everything,” Valek said.

With the help her counselor provided, Valek gained skills to help her in life.

“I learned a lot more skills on how important it is to turn your homework in and to graduate on time, instead of thinking the GED is the only way out of high school,” Valek said.

Hudson, another student who aspired to change her life, dealt with her own issues.

“I just have the typical teenage problems with who I am, and having to take care of my family when I need to be taking care of myself, and having to be strong,” Hudson said.

Read through the story below once to get your initial reaction and then re-read to question the piece. Write questions that come to mind as you read. Use the questions listed on the preceding page to help you get started.

ACTIVITY



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Although Hudson struggled with personal problems, she hoped to set an example for others. The beginning of her public speaking passion all boiled down to sharing what seems important to her and giving others advice.

“I would never want anyone to cope with their problems in distorted ways through substance abuse, unhealthy relationships or anything. I want to help people,” Hudson said.

As Hudson shared her experience with local community organizations, she gained a new perspective on life as well as insight on herself.

“I have accepted more of myself. I have even more things to rely on for the future and even more things to be excited for. It gives me a drive,” Hudson said.

Both Valek and Hudson once struggled with personal battles, violence, and family problems. However, relying on their own drive, they both created for themselves a better future.

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GET THE ANGLE ESTABLISHED: After reading through the story twice, the message or angle of the story should be clear.

• Make sure the angle is strong.• Is it an approach that has been done before?• Stories just about something “new” won’t cut it — what about the something “new” is worth writing about?• Is the angle specific enough?• Is it focused on people?

DISCUSS ANGLESIf you assess the angle of the story and find it to be weak, start by talking to the writer.

• Listen to the writer.• Urge the writer to put their interview and notes away and just tell the story. • Let them talk about the subject and see if you can find the angle in their explanation.• Ask them to write a headline for the piece if they haven’t already. If it is too difficult to find a headline that works, the angle is probably still unfocused and vague.

The football

team dealt

with a season

full of ‘comebacks’

The football

team dealt

with a season


Won against River

Ridge with last

second field goal

Beat Lecanto

in last 2 minutes

Bea

t Anc

lote

and

wa

sn’t

sup

po

sed

to

Runningback injured

and out for season

Starting tight-endinjured in first game

Won against River

Ridge with last

second field goal

Beat Lecanto

in last 2 minutes

Bea

t Anc

lote

and

wa

sn’t

sup

pos

ed to

Runningback injured

and out for season

Starting tight-endinjured in first game

List all the ideas in the story as branches. Next, determine what the trunk of the tree should be. What is anchoring all these ideas together?

Now, redirect the other ideas in the branches to connect back to the trunk. If a branch idea has no connection to the trunk, cut it off. It will only weigh down the rest of your tree.

Now, fill out your own angle tree on the next page.

ANGLE TREECREATE AN

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The football

team dealt

with a season


Beat Lecanto

in last 2 minutes

Bea

t Anc

lote

and

wa

sn’t

sup

pos

ed to

Runningback injured

and out for season

Lesson 1

I can do all tasks in 3.0 and I can teach others!

I can demonstrate the mindset of a copy editor and how to begin the copy-editing process.I can...

a.

b.

I can demonstrate the qualities of a keen copy editor and understand the level of focus and attention to detail required to edit effectively.

I can get started on the copy-editing process, but struggle to identify angles and am unsure how to analyze the quality of a story.

I still don’t understand how to begin editing copy or where to start.

RATE YOUR PROGRESS

analyze a story for the central message and can question the piece for clarity and meaning

identify and help strengthen weak angles

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4.0

3.0

2.0

1.0

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When the Roman aqueducts were built in the fi rst century to keep water fl owing to the city, they were built at a precise angle. Too steep of an incline and the water would have fl ooded the houses; not steep enough and the water would have stagnated. The Romans worked to get the incline exactly right, or the entire operation would have been a catastrophe.

A similar situation occurs when choosing the words you will use to convey a story. Words are powerful when you take the time to be precise and choose the exact ones. Just throwing in “good-enough” words will either muddy your message or create stale, watered-down copy. “Right” and “almost-right” are worlds apart. It’s time to edit out the superfl uous language and the almost-right words and fi nd the perfect word that best says what you are trying to say. If you can successfully edit the language of a piece, the story will fl ow naturally and clearly.

POWER OF THE FIRST WORDFirst impressions are everything. Think about meeting someone for the fi rst time. We spend time putting together the best outfi t and thinking of interesting things to share. We want to appear exciting and intriguing.

So what better place to start editing word choices than the fi rst word? Starting a story with the word “students” is the equivalent of wearing sweatpants on a fi rst date. The fi rst word of a story is the fi rst impression to the reader. It is going to tell the reader what kind of story they are in for and may help them determine whether it is worth it to keep reading. Therefore, you must edit to make sure that a powerful word or phrase is used up front to create impact from the beginning.

• Figure out what words in the lead you can bring to the front of the sentence to set a good tone and high energy level to the writing.• Get to the impact verb quickly.• Beware of vague and ambiguous terms or words.

Lesson 2Leads andLanguage

Objectives – In this lesson you will:

Learn to use active verbs and descriptive nouns to make leads stronger

Discover weak vocabulary that should be avoided in writing


Look at past yearbooks and identify dull sentence starters to avoid in the future. Create your own list and post in the classroom. Here are some to start with:


EDITING LEADSNothing is better than when you read the fi rst sentence of a story and you feel hooked. There is a feeling of peace knowing that the writer has done their job in conveying a clear message that you won’t have to work to understand and an excitement that makes you antsy to get to the next sentence.

“It started with the bass and the drum. Then the music changed to a darker, electronic sounding synthesizer and right when the song seemed to slow down… it dropped.”

That’s a good lead. This story was about the trend of Dubstep music, and it creates interest while leaving the reader wanting to know more.

You can usually tell when leads are working well. The question is how do you identify when a lead is weak, and then how do you fi x it? Before tearing into the lead, consider these questions and determine if the writer has addressed them.

• Is there a scene, fact, event or emotion that stands out in the story?• Is there a way to highlight this in the lead and then work the story from there?• What is the tone of the story?• What is the angle?

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STUDENTSTEACHERSADMINISTRATORSTEAM NAMESACADEMIC SUBJECTSARTICLES LIKE A, AN, THE

SEARCHDULL WORD




LEADS THAT LACK INTERESTEXAMPLE: Students struggle to keep their phones charged because they are always using their apps.

Use a shock or suspended interest lead style. TRY THIS:BETTER: Dead within hours. Cell phone batteries continue to drain faster as students struggle with a growing addiction to apps.

LEADS THAT LACK ENERGYEXAMPLE: FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America) members prepared to take part in the annual state-wide competition that took place in December.

Try a narrative or descriptive style to humanize this lead andmake it more engaging. The lead above reads more like a hard news style summary lead.

TRY THIS:BETTER: The eyes of competitors locked as the tension thickened with each glance and glare. Sitting among their rivals as 30 minutes ticked by, FBLA members nervously awaited the call to present.

LEADS THAT MAY LACK CREATIVITYThe following example leads can work, but more often than not end up being used when the writer couldn’t think of anything else. Keep an eye open for these lead types. If they are not original or engaging, the writer may need to try again.

QUOTE LEAD: “We had a great year, and we really bonded as a team.”

QUESTION LEAD: Do you know what happened in the English department this year?

IMAGINE LEAD (JOHN LENNON LEAD): Imagine walking into the gym for the last time and hearing your name ring through the sound system.



1. Students chose different styles to express their individual personalities.

2. On Friday, Sept. 24, fi ve new teachers will be presented at an assembly.

3. Social Inclusion club members worked to make special needs students feel involved in campus activities by building relationships with them.

4. Imagine getting a test and realizing that you had studied the wrong material.

5. How would you feel if you missed the game-winning layup during the District Championship basketball game?

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Identify the problem with the lead. Rewrite these leads into strong attention-grabbing leads.LEADS

WRITE STRONGER




TRIMMING DOWNNo one likes the Department of Redundancy Department.

We are only given so many column inches to convey our story. Because our verbal real estate is limited, every word must be painstakingly chosen and extra words or phrases must be eliminated. It is not how long the story is that determines its strength, it is the quality of the piece. Editing will help the piece focus on the angle and maintain clarity.

Also remember to avoid using clichés. By defi nition, clichés are overused phrases that are boring and have no place in writing. Edit out these trite phrases.

EXAMPLE: The forward progress of the program brought positive attention to the school.

Breakdown — The word “progress” implies moving forward. To add “forward” as an adjective is redundant. Deleting the word “forward” will not change the meaning of the sentence and will add to its clarity.

1. Swim practice begins at 6:30 a.m. in the morning.

2. The new recruits for ROTC had to run the obstacle course.

3. The crowded mob rushed the fi eld.

4. The students studied the past history of the Vietnam War.

5. She made sure that the notes were written down.

6. The team celebrated their victorious win.

7. He referred back to her textbook for the answer.

8. The committee members came to a mutual agreement.

9. There was a brief moment of peace before the storm hit during the festival.

10. An old antique trophy was stolen from the gym.

Beware of these common offenders of superfl uous language. Circle or highlight the repetitive language in each sentence. Then, rewrite the sentence. WORDS

REMOVE REPETITIVE




ACTIVE VOICE PASSIVE VOICE

ACTIVE VOICE VS. PASSIVE VOICEWriting in active voice brings energy to your writing that passive voice cannot. To keep your writing in active voice, remove all to-be verbs.

Know the difference between active and passive voice:

When a verb’s subject performs the action expressed by the verb, the verb is in the active voice.

My family bought a new home.(The subject family performs the action.)

When a verb’s subject receives the action expressed by the verb, the verb is in the passive voice.

Homes are being sold by the builder.(The subject homes receives the action.)

KNOW THE TO-BE VERBSamareiswas

werehavehashad

beenbeingbedid

doshouldwouldcould

Know the strategies for editing out passive voice verbs:1. Change the to-be verb to a strong verb. Example: Tony is afraid of notebook checks. Better: Tony fears notebook checks.

2. Eliminate the to-be verb by writing one or more showing sentences. Example: Alligators are mean. Better: The alligator lurched forward and thrashed about in the water the moment the zookeeper approached, showing his razor sharp teeth and snapping at every step the zookeeper took.

3. Combine sentences to eliminate the to-be verb. Example: Theinefficienttimemanagerisunfulfilled.Heheadstobed, disappointed,despitehavingfinishedhisto-dolist.

Better: Theinefficienttimemanagerheadstobed,unfulfilled,eventhough he checked off everything on his un-prioritized to-do list.

4. Last two tips for dealing with to-be verbs.

• Eliminate the entire sentence if its omission does not change the meaning of the passage.

• Leave the to-be verb if changing it alters the meaning, diminishes the passage, or makes the structure unworkable.



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2. For years, the varsity basketball team was the best in the state.

3. French Club members took an active approach to educate their members in a way that would interest them.

4. Devon Martin found his motivation for restoration from his dad, who had worked as a mechanic.

5. Since this was the ecology club’s first big project, excitement arose among members as they began to clean up the beach.

6. As he walked through Starbucks for the second time that day, he was greeted with very familiar faces.

7. Despite protests from her parents, Jan Walker had traveled to the nail salon to have her nails done every two weeks.

8. The girls were filled with both fear and determination, knowing that this game could change school history.

9. Without new leadership, the boys’ varsity baseball players are struggling to make it through each game.

10. It is difficult for Sarah Jones to pay attention in class, but she has no trouble focusing when it comes to playing tennis.

1. With one minute left in the game, a time-out was called by the head coach of the opposing team.

Rewrite these sentences using active verbs.

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VOICEUSING ACTIVEACTIVITY



Lesson 2

Pull new ideas out of thin air


I can demonstrate how to both identify and fix weak leads and language in a story. I can...

a.

b.

I can demonstrate an understanding of the importance of word choice and am able to edit copy for confusing academic language.

I can identify weak leads and language, but I do not know how to fix them.

I don’t understand how to identify weak leads nor do I understand the role of word choice and language in creating strong copy

RATE YOUR PROGRESS

apply knowledge of precise language and narrative techniques to edit copy for clichés, passive voice verbs and superfluous language

use telling details and sensory language to create strong, attention-grabbing feature leads

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4.0

3.0

2.0

1.0

Create a list of words and phrases to avoid in writing. Start your list with these words.

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ALL PASSIVE VOICE VERBS (TO-BE VERBS)SCHOOL NAMESCHOOL MASCOTTHIS YEAR

DO NOT USELIST



In a world of selfi es and constant Facebook status updates where we can share every thought, event or emotion with the world, it is no wonder it is diffi cult to keep editorializing out of writing. We are so used to centering what we write and post around our own thoughts, that writing without giving an opinion on a subject seems impossible.

But yearbook reporters are charged with telling someone else’s story. It is not about the writer. Writers are simply the behind-the-scenes architects of the piece. Think about it this way: If an architect builds and designs a skyscraper, do they get a say on what the building is used for after it is built? They don’t own the building and therefore it is not their place to comment, judge or advise on what happens in the building after it is fi nished.

Our writing is no different. We may design the story, organize the information, and build the overall message, but that does not mean we have earned the right to comment.

Objective – In this lesson, you will:

Learn to locate opinions in stories and remove them

Lesson 3Editorializing



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Look for opinion statements: Is there another side to the story? Could someone have a different take on the issue? If so, there may be editorializing.

BEAUTIFULGRACEFULLYINTELLIGENTLYOUTSTANDINGSKILLFULLY

SPECTACULARTERRIFICUNPRECEDENTEDWONDERFUL

OPINIONSELIMINATING

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Look for opinion adjectives in previous yearbooks and list them below. Consider these:

ACTIVITY

EDIT OUT THE EDITORIALIZING - SHOW, DON'T TELL:Editorializing can generally be fi xed by changing the statement from a “telling” sentence to a “showing” sentence. If the detail is shown through accurate description, the reader will get the message without being told an opinion statement.

EXAMPLE:Telling statement: ReginaPhillipswasnervoustoreceiveherfinalexamresults.

In the sentence above, the writer is telling the audience that Regina was nervous. But how can the writer show this emotion instead? Was she sweating or swearing? Was her forehead furrowed? Fingers crossed? Holding her breath? How was she sitting? What was she saying? All of these details will help the writer show the emotion.

Showing statement: Beads of sweat appeared on Regina Phillips’ forehead as hershakinghandscrolleddowntheonlinegradebooktorevealherfinalexamscore.

Your Name:



SHOWING STATEMENTWRITE A

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Telling statement: Camille Williams, the best player on the varsity volleyball team, strutted onto the court.

Showing statement:

Telling statement: Tyler Smith was overjoyed to see his sister.

Showing statement:

How can these sentences be edited to be more specific? What details are missing? Where is the editorializing?Chase Kerr (’16) and Andrew Niro (’16) force a Central High School player to the ground in a joint effort. Central took the lead in this close game as the clock ran out, however the boys stayed strong on defense throughout the entire game. “It was challenging playing against their defense, they ran great formations and were one of the hardest teams to defend,” Niro said.

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ACTIVITY



Lesson 3

NOTES

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I can demonstrate an understanding of how to identify editorializing, and also how to edit it out of copy. I can...

a.

b.

I can demonstrate an ability to maintain an objective tone while writing and can apply this to copy editing.

I can identify editorializing, but still struggle with how to edit it out of copy.

I don’t understand what editorializing is or how to identify it in writing.

RATE YOUR PROGRESS

identify opinion adjectives in writing and can edit them out use descriptive details to change telling statements into showing statements

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Be aware of the transition that repeats the same information presented in the quote.

EXAMPLE: Students say they are looking forward to the arrival of the new principal.“I’m really looking forward to the new principal arriving,” Wayne Scott said.

Better: Excitement arose among students such as Wayne Scott at the thought of fresh leadership on campus.“I’m really looking forward to the new principal arriving,” Scott said.

The Repeat Transition

HANDLING TRANSITIONS

Transitions and quotes are the meat and potatoes of a story. They are the main event that holds the story together and moves the message along. However, editing this part of a story can be tricky since its success relies heavily on the interview and the information the reporter gathered prior to writing. But no matter the overall quality of the piece, there are a few concrete items to look for when editing the body portion of a story.

Lesson 4Quotes andTransitions Objectives – In this lesson you will:

Understand how to edit to make smooth transitions between paragraphs to further the story

Learn to recognize quotes that add emotion to the story, and remove or paraphrase quotes that do not

Understand how to edit copy so the transitions and quotes are not just repeated in the copy

The When Asked Transition

Be aware of the transition that attempts to transcribe the interview.

EXAMPLE: When asked how he felt about collecting items for the homeless, Trevor Williams said he was humbled by it all and was grateful for the opportunity to help.

Better: Collecting items for those less fortunate humbled Trevor Williams and left him feeling grateful for his station in life.



Unless there is a clear and specifi c reason, all quotes should be attributed with the verb “said.”

EXAMPLE: “I can’t believe we are an ‘A’ school for the third year in a row,” Principal Jessica Schultz exclaimed.

Better: “I can’t believe we are an ‘A’ school for the third year in a row,” Principal Jessica Schultz said.

The Quote with Attribution

Be aware of quotes that convey facts instead of emotion or important, story-telling information. When you see them, ask the reporter if he possibly got a better quote during the interviewing process.

EXAMPLE: “The debate team practices every Wednesday after school in the cafeteria,” Joshua Lyman said.

Better: “Debate practices get so heated that sometimes we forget that we are all on the same team and that it is just practice. Sometimes we have to take a few minutes to cool off when things get intense,” Joshua Lyman said.

The Fact QuoteHANDLING QUOTES

Quotes can be edited, but rarely. Some instances will allow you to edit poor grammar as long as it does not affect the integrity of the quote. All vocalized pauses should be edited out of quotes as well. These include phrases such as “ya know” and “hmmm.”

EXAMPLE: “Ummmm…. I thought the competition was… uh… fair… ya know… for the most part,” Samuel Powers said.

Better: “I thought the competition was fair for the most part,” Samuel Powers said.

The Quote with Attribution

Be aware of the quote that conveys no information and fails to further the story.

EXAMPLE: “I took art because I like painting,” Jack Kelly said.

Better: “I was inspired by my mom to paint. She always took me to parks to paint nature scenes since I was little, and ever since then I couldn’t put the brush down,” Jack Kelly said.

The Nothing Quote



TRANSITIONS AND QUOTES

WORKING WITH

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Identify the transition and quote problems in this story. Edit the story, fixing the problems.

Sifting through racks of clothing at local thrift stores in their spare time paired with their desire to make their own apparel led to the creation of What Dress Code?, a clothing line by Nikole Passarella and Alexandra Kerns.

“I like doing DIY (do-it-yourself) stuff because I like making things,” Passarella said.

When asked how she felt about creating a customer base, Kerns believed that high school students make the best clients.

“I wanted to create my own fashion line because all high school students dress the same, and I wanted to help change that,” Kerns said.

Passarella thought that the clothing line was successful.

“I think that the line has been successful in the sense that people are really interested in what we do,” Passarella commented.

This new endeavor forced Kerns to balance her fashion line with her other responsibilities.

“I work 15 hours a week and have approximately three hours of homework a night,” Kerns said.

What Dress Code? saw success and its founders continued to expand their products to reach a broader audience.

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ACTIVITY



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Lesson 4


I can demonstrate an understanding of how to identify weak quotes and transitions and also how to improve them to create stronger copy. I can...

a.

b.

I can identify weak quotes in a story, but I still struggle to identify weak transitions and understand how to best fix them.

I don’t understand the role transitions or quotes play in furthering a story.

RATE YOUR PROGRESS

identify the different types of transition problems and can edit them to reflect a clear relationship among the various ideas in the story

identify weak quotes and can direct the writer on how to obtain stronger, story-telling quotes

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If you have ever tried to communicate with someone who spoke a different language, you understand how frustrating that process can be. No matter how good the message is, if you’re not speaking the same language, you can’t get the message across effectively.

Copy-editing marks are the universal language of editing. If both the writer and editor commit these marks to memory, they will be able to clearly communicate so the corrections to a story can be made with ease.

Lesson 5Copy-editingMarks

Objective – In this lesson you will:

Learn the most-used copy-editing marks



COPY-EDITING MARKSInsert a comma ............................................................................................ ______

Leave as originally written ........................................................................... ______

Insert quotation marks or apostrophes ...................................................... ______

Separate run together words ..................................................................... ______

Lowercase ..................................................................................................... ______

Uppercase .................................................................................................... ______

Do the opposite ........................................................................................... ______

Transpose letters or words ........................................................................... ______

Delete letters, words or phrases not needed ........................................... ______

Delete a letter in the middle of a word and close .................................. ______

Delete a letter at the beginning or end of a word,or punctuation mark .................................................................................... ______

Insert a letter or word ................................................................................... ______

Emphasize a penciled-in period ................................................................ ______

Emphasize a paragraph or begin a paragraph ...................................... ______

Insert hyphen ................................................................................................ ______

Insert a dash ................................................................................................. ______

End of story ................................................................................................... ______

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‘

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# # #

stet

=



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MARKMAKE YOUR

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NOTES!

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________ Insert a comma

________ Leave as originally written

________ Insert quotations marks or apostrophes

________ Separate run together words

________ Lowercase

________ Uppercase

________ Do the opposite

________ Transpose letters or words

________ Delete letters, words or phrases not needed.

________ Delete a letter in the middle of a word and close

________ Delete a letter at the beginning or end of a word, or a punctuation mark

________ Insert a letter or word

________ Emphasize a penciled-in period

________ Emphasize a paragraph or begin a paragraph

________ Insert hyphen

________ Insert a dash

________ Either of these marks says the end of story

Write in the correct editing mark in the line next to the definition.

ACTIVITY



Lesson 5


I can demonstrate an ability to use copy-editing marks in the editing process. I understand the purpose of copy-editing marks and can use them effectively to convey directions to the writer.

I understand the need for copy-editing marks, but I don’t understand what they mean or how to use them.

I do not understand the need for copy-editing marks.

RATE YOUR PROGRESS. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Spell out numbers less than 10, including fractions less than one. Spell out fi rst through ninth when they indicate a sequence in time or location. I slid into second base. Look for the third house on the left.Spell out any number, except a year, that starts a sentence.Spell out casual expressions of numbers. A picture is worth a thousand words.Spell out the word percent. Use fi gures with percentages. I used 25 percent of my money.Always use the numeral for dates with no st, nd, rd or th. The homecoming game is Friday, Nov. 6, at the stadium.Always use $ and the numeral unless there is no numeral or it is a casual reference. I have $25 in my pocket. There were millions of dollars in that car.

AP STYLE RULES: NUMBERS

Consider what school would be like without any rules. Sounds like a blast, right? It might be fun for a little while, but it wouldn’t be long before things took a turn for the worst. At best, students would be out of control and chaotic.

Whether we like to admit it or not, we all appreciate some rules. Rules keep life functioning smoothly and consistently so we always know what to expect from not just ourselves, but from others as well.

The Associated Press Stylebook is a rulebook for journalistic style. It sets forth style guidelines that help keep copy concise and consistent. Abiding by the AP Style rules eliminates confusion for the reader as they move through a large publication. Though the voice of the writer may change as readers jump from story to story, the rules keep the style consistent and orderly so it is easier for the reader to process.

Lesson 6AP Style Rules

Objectives – In this lesson you will:

Learn some of the more frequently used Associated Press style rules

Practice using copy-editing marks



Lowercase all titles not used before a name. Barack Obama, president Roy Blunt, senatorLowercase all titles that are primarily job descriptions. farmer teacher movie starCapitalize all formal titles when used before a name. President Barack Obama

AP STYLE RULES: TITLES

AP STYLE RULES: ABBREVIATIONSAbbreviate titles when used before names. Sen. Mike Smith Gov. Mike SmithAbbreviate avenue, street and boulevard in numbered addresses only. 5555 Smith Blvd. I live on Smith Boulevard.Abbreviate months with more than fi ve letters when used with a date. Dec. 15 is Mr. Smith’s birthday. December is the best month ever.



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The following sentences have a mistake in bold. Using copy-editing marks, correct the sentences according to the rule found in the AP Stylebook. If you have a stylebook, write the page number where you found the rule.

TREASURE HUNTAP STYLEBOOK


1. Her birthday was April 1st.

2. Lunch is over at 1:00 PM.

3. Mrs. Smith was the head of the History Department and English Department.

4. The kids will graduate in Dec. 2006.

5. Mike Alstott is the Full Back for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

6. The school is located in New Port Richey, Florida.

7. Miss Jones had a tutoring session during lunch yesterday.

8. The teacher asked for 8 volunteers to show their project.

9. PHCC is a good school to attend if you’d like to earn an Associate’s Degree.



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10. The student body increased by over 200 students.

11. The Mustangs beat the Rams 21 to 20 at last night’s game.

12. The staff had an extra day off for labor day falling on a Monday.

13. Night school was canceled on Tue. and Wed. nights this week.

14. It is important to know proper punctuation (like how to use parentheses.)

15.Youcanfindalotofinformationontheweb about war.

16. My favorite time of the year is the Fall.

17. New Year’s Day is exciting; you have a fresh start for the New Year.

18. This information should just stay among the two of us.

19. I vacation biannually; I save up to go on a longer trip every two years.

20. I prefer to attend the pre-season football games so I can observe all the new players.



Correct this passage to read accurately according to the Associated Press style rules. Use the appropriate copy-editing marks.

BAN MAY GO BEYOND PAJAMAS

the fate of the most emotionally issue charged on Student Council’s Nov. Ballot

could hinge on a question of dress code.

Would banning pajama day during homecoming week threaten participation

for 100’s of students who depend on this day to earn spirit points for their class?

Passage of similarly worded dress-up day bans at neighboring schools have

thrust this issue to the front of the student council agenda.

So far, one schools Student Council has ruled that the pajama day ban

prevented students from dressing inappropriately, however other students feel

that this ban will hurt participation in homecoming week events

USING AP STYLE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Your Name:ACTIVITY



COPY-EDITING MARKSUSING AP STYLE AND


Use copy-editing marks to correct the AP style errors in the sentences below.

1. The software costs four hundred and twenty-five dollars.

2. The President dedicated Mount Rushmore.

3. John Glenn, Astronaut and United States Senator, almost ran for President

of the United States.

4. Meredith McNulty, English and History Teacher, planned a trip to New York.

5. The Sophomore class and the Juniors got into an epic battle during powder puff.

6. The society will award cash prizes for the top three entries: $40 for 1st place,

thirty dollars for second place, and twenty dollars for 3rd place.

7. American History will not be taught next year, but political science will be.

8. Blues Brothers 2000 has a PG 13 rating and is showing at Westport cinema.

9. I had a bag of chips and a coca-cola for lunch.

10. This is the first District title for the Pioneers in over twenty-five years.

11. Composer and Orchestra Leader Aaron Copland composed multiple songs.

12. The U.S. $ is weak, and that is part of the reason the national debt is into

$1,000,000’s of dollars.



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NOTES!



Lesson 6. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


I can demonstrate an understanding of the Associated Press (AP) Style rules and their purpose in keeping copy consistent for the reader.

I understand how to edit for both style and consistency.

I can identify passive voice in writing and understand how to change the sentence to an active voice statement.

I understand the purpose of AP Style but I still struggle with how to edit so that the copy consistently abides by the rules.

I don’t understand the purpose of AP Style rules in copy editing.

RATE YOUR PROGRESS4.0

3.0

2.0

1.0

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Lesson 7The Editing Process

Objective – In this lesson you will:

Learn some editing best practices and techniques to help you edit stories

Now that you are comfortable with editing the content of a story, it is time to address the copy-editing process. With so many stories being submitted at various times by a variety of writers, an organizational structure for editing needs to be in place. Without it, writers can be confused by mixed messages from editors, printed drafts of stories can be lost, and the quality of the story will suffer.

WRITE HOT, EDIT COLDWriting can be a taxing activity. Reporters should write freely while thoughts are fl owing and ideas are clear. They can save the editing process for later.

However, this does not mean to write “hot” and then pass along your rough work for some editor to trudge through. A fresh set of eyes is important, but since it is your piece and you know it best, self-editing is a practice that cannot be sacrifi ced in the name of saving some time.

When you reach a resting point in your writing, step away from the story for a while. It could for be for an hour or a day, but give yourself some space so that you can approach editing the piece with a fresh perspective.

Then return to your story with a keen, objective editing eye.

Follow the same process for your own story that you would if editing someone else’s work. Examine the story for the purpose of both subjective and objective editing.



EDITING BEST PRACTICES

With so many different areas of writing that must be edited, it is imperative that each story is read multiple times. Each time you read through a story, look for something different. Use the pattern below as a guideline.

• Read once for content.• Read once for organization.• Read once for language.

It is amazing the errors in content and language that are uncovered simply from reading something aloud. Our voices tend to fi nd the errors and inaccuracies that our minds glaze over. Read to your friends, your editors, your parents, your pets… anyone who will listen. If all else fails, read it out loud to yourself. As you fi nd errors, pause to make the corrections.

Instead of reading through your story multiple times looking for different areas of concern, allow a group of peers to help you go through the editing process. Assign one person to listen for content, one to listen for organization, and one to listen for language. Your editing audience can write comments on a feedback form, like the one below, as you read, or you can provide a copy of your story to each group member that they can use to provide feedback.

READ ALOUD TO A SMALL GROUP

READ STORIES ALOUD

THIRD TIME’S A CHARM

peer-EDITING feedbackListening for ContentComments/Questions: _______________________

_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

peer-EDITING feedbackListening for OrganizationComments/Questions: _______________________

_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

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peer-EDITING feedbackListening for LanguageComments/Questions: _______________________

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Sometimes it is not what you are reading for, but how you are reading that will make the difference. The best way to fi nd small errors, such as spelling, capitalization and punctuation, is to read the story like a kindergartner reads their fi rst book — painstakingly slow. Reading the story slowly and out loud is even better. Furthermore, reading the story backwards allows you to see each word as an individual entity, which makes spelling errors easier to spot.

Avoid the temptation to mark up someone’s story and hand it back to him or her without ever having a discussion. It is rare that major changes to a story can be communicated clearly with a few comments in the margins of the story. Take time to sit down and talk with the writer. Explain what you think the revision needs. Have them explain back to you what needs to be done to make sure the writer understands and agrees.

Even when the criticism you are providing is constructive, a lot of bad news can really discourage a writer. To help soften the blow, use the criticism sandwich method: positive — negative — positive. Always begin with a positive comment. Tell the writer something you liked about their story or something they did well. Then move to the areas that need improvement. Provide specifi c, detailed feedback regarding the problem areas of their story. Then close the conversation with another positive comment. This method will help motivate the writer and keep him or her from feeling overwhelmed and under-appreciated.

Editors can often overstep their boundaries and rewrite large portions of a reporter’s work. Whereas the editor’s intentions may be altruistic, this act only serves to alienate the reporter. Writers are likely to wonder why they poured their heart and soul into a piece just to have their work removed and replaced by someone else’s. Furthermore, the reporter doesn’t learn in this process. They cannot recognize their shortcomings and work to improve them if they are robbed of the opportunity.

Everyone will benefi t in the end if editors edit the story and show the writer how to improve.

RED PENS CAN’T DO ALL THE WORK

CRITICISM SANDWICH

READ SLOWLY AND BACKWARDS

RETHINK THE REWRITE

EDITING BEST PRACTICES (CONT'D)



SUBJECTIVE EDITING

ed

itor na

me

: _______________ write

r nam

e: ___________________ d

ea

dline

: _____

OBJECTIVE EDITINGFirst word is powerful and interesting

Impact lead is used, not summary

Angle is specifi c and reinforced throughout story

Quotes convey feelings, not facts

Said is used as the attribution verb

Transitions do not repeat information in quotes

Transitions do not transcribe interview (“when asked…”)

Word choice and usage

No clichés or editorializing

All superfl uous language has been removed

AP style rules

No to-be verbs (all writing in active voice)

Names spelled correctly

Correct grades and position titles

Spelling and capitalization

No exclamation points

No comma splices

Commas are inside quotation marks

Apostrophes used correctly in contractions

Third person and past tense

Example:Staffer writes fi rst draft of story

Self-edit Peer-edit First draft submitted to editor; editor makes corrections and returns to staffer Staffer makes corrections and submits revised draft to editor again Editor makes corrections and then passes on to the editor-in-chief Editor-in-chief makes corrections and returns to staffer Staffer makes fi nal corrections and submits fi nal draft to editor Editor gives fi nal approval and passes to editor-in-chief Editor-in-chief gives fi nal approval and passes to adviser

Create your own fl ow chart system for your staff.

EDITING HIERARCHY

To make sure every story is edited thoroughly, a solid editing process should be in place. Then stick with it. A system that works for your staff will help keep staffers and editors accountable and communicating clearly.



EDIT A STORY

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Select a story written for the yearbook and edit it using the editing process and checklist. Note here the changes you would make, or make them on the story and attach here.

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ACTIVITY



Lesson 7

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I understand the importance of positive communication with the writer and how establishing a copy-editing system will help me effectively communicate corrections.

I can demonstrate an ability to use a variety of methods to thoroughly edit copy.

I can effectively edit copy in a way that limits rewriting and shows the writer how to improve the story.

I understand the basics of how to communicate with the writer, but I am still struggling to abide by a strong copy-editing system that allows me to edit effectively and thoroughly.

I understand the importance of copy editing, but I do not understand how to implement a copy-editing system, how to edit effectively or how to communicate corrections to the writer.

RATE YOUR PROGRESS. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Sabrina Schmitz is a new Walsworth Yearbooks sales representative in Florida. With a degree in magazine journalism, she taught graphic design and journalism in addition to advising The Stampede yearbook staff and The Hoofbeat newspaper staff at J.W. Mitchell High School in New Port Richey, Fla.

In her six years of advising, The Stampede yearbook was awarded two CSPA Silver Crowns, a Gold Crown, a NSPA Pacemaker Award, and was an NSPA Design of the Year finalist in 2012.

She was recognized as Teacher of the Year in 2013 as well as a District Teacher of the Year Finalist and has taught at workshops and conventions around the country.

MEET THE AUTHOR. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


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Documents

MAKE COPY SHINE BY EDITING - Walsworth Yearbooks · 2015-09-24 · Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine by Editing When someone is injured and paramedics arrive at the scene, their fi