www.blr.com or www.hrhero.com For CD and other purchasing information, contact customer service at: 800-274-6774 or E-mail: custserv@blr.com © 2014 BLR ® and HR Hero® —Business & Legal Resources and HR Hero. All rights reserved. These materials may not be reproduced in part or in whole by any process without written permission.

Managing Challenging Personality Types: Dealing

with Bullies, Idea Killers & Smart Slackers

Friday, November 7, 2014 1:30 p.m. to 3:00 p.m. Eastern

12:30 p.m. to 2:00 p.m. Central 11:30 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. Mountain 10:30 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. Pacific

Presented by:

Dr. Steve Albrecht, PHR, CPP, BCC

This program has been approved for 1.5 credit hours toward PHR and SPHR recertification through the Human Resource Certification Institute (HRCI).The Program ID number will be emailed to the registered participant at the completion of the conference. For more information about certification or recertification, please visit the HRCI website at www.hrci.org.

Managing Challenging Personality Types: Dealing with Bullies, Idea

Killers & Smart Slackers

Presented by:

Dr. Steve Albrecht, PHR, CPP, BCCWhite & Case LLP

November 7, 2014

“On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.”

-- George Bernard Shaw

“I was playing with the other kids in the street when a cart

full of melons passed by. I could not resist the temptation.

I ran after the cart and stole a melon and came back. As

soon as I took a bite, a strange sense of guilt and remorse

came over me. I ran after the cart again, put that melon

back, and got a ripe one.”

OUR MOTTO

We can accept the person without having to accept his or her

inappropriate behavior.

SOME THEMES . . .What is the impact on the business? Why do we rationalize irrational behavior?Are these “profiles” or “behaviors”?Is our goal “peace” or “justice”?What should asking for help mean?How do we align with people?If there are no consequences . . .Acting skills?Spirit of the policy or letter of the policy?

THE STRENGTH-WEAKNESS IRONY

Our strengths, when taken to an extreme, become our weaknesses.

THE BIG SEVEN

Work performance Violations of policies & procedures

ConflictAttendance

AttitudeService

Team issues

Crucial Conversationsby Patterson, Grenny et al. (2002, McGraw-Hill)

Opinions vary.

Stakes are high.

Emotions run strong.

These can give us permission to coach.

COACHING DEFINED

“A pre or post-discipline conversation about performance or behavior. . .”

“A series of conversations that helps the employee along his or her career path. . .”

“A way to identify skills gaps, solve conflicts, reward success, and make the PE process easier. . .”

TARGETED COACHINGExecutive / Strategic Coaching: senior leaders, strategic

issues, the top team. Goal = Direction

Career Development Coaching: leadership, career guidance. Goal = Personal Skills

Performance Improvement Coaching: knowledge enhancement, training. Goal = Job Skills

Corrective Coaching: career “rescue,” skills deficit, compliance issues. Goal = Compliance

Special-Problems Coaching: special skills, special issues, high-threat situations. Goal = Peace

KEEP / STOP / STARTTo get along better and work more productively, we

can ask, suggest, or tell employees three things:

KEEP doing this, because it’s working.

STOP doing this, because it’s not working.

START doing this, because it will work better.

THE THREE C’sCOMMUNICATE – Let them tell you their issue, or

vent to you, without being judgmental. Listen carefully, without interrupting.

CLARIFY – Use paraphrasing questions to make certain you understand their concerns. Ask for their solutions or suggest your own.

COMMIT – Get their promise for a commitment to action. When will they start doing what you’ve both now agreed upon? How will they continue?

THE BULLYBehaviors: Verbal or physical intimidation; overly-aggressive in meetings and conversation; uses rank, status, size, tone to demean others.

Reasons: Lots of behind-the-scenes reasons, often from childhood. Poor self-esteem masks their fears. Plus, it’s worked for them before.

Tools: Collect a list of examples; focus on behaviors and the impact; confront calmly; create consequences; reward compliance with praise.

THE IDEA KILLERBehaviors: Sarcasm, especially during meetings; trouble with internal monologues become external.

Reasons: Burned out; frustrated with peers, bosses; poor job status and no advancement. Learned behavior from family and peers.

Tools: Ignore their comments during the meeting, and coach it right afterwards. Let them vent but be assertive on the business impact issues. Sometimes peer pressure will help solve it.

THE SMART SLACKER

Behaviors: Knows how to work hard; doesn’t want to. Missing on Duty / Retired on Duty. Works only when it works for him or her. They can teach other employees to slack.

Reasons: Burned out, dissatisfied, topped out, not enough job challenges, wants to retire but can’t afford to. Frustrated, misses the “old days.”

Tools: Confront their behavior, attitude, or performance. Remind them of their “legacy employee” status. Ask for their help. Use a PAM once coaching has clearly not worked.

THE HARASSERBehaviors: Physical, verbal, sexual, or racially harassing actions; creates a hostile work environment using intimidation, power, fear, humiliation, embarrassment.

Reasons: Learned behavior; past behaviors that have worked; the need to keep people one-down to them; either unaware or don’t care about gender, cultural, or diversity differences.

Tools: Enforce policies, call out the behaviors, use on-on-one coaching, discipline and termination.

THE TATTLETALEBehaviors: Runs to the boss for small things; loves to drop hints about co-workers not doing their jobs to management; ruins any fun in the office. Creates bad feelings toward themselves.

Reasons: Secretly envious or jealous; may use this as a strategy to get ahead of others or promote, but it’s more about not feeling good about themselves.

Tools: Remind them to stick to their work, mind their own business, and let you do your job.

THE OVERLY-RELIGIOUSBehaviors: Often newly-converted, they will try to get co-workers to share their beliefs, convert them at work, or encourage prayers before starting work activities.

Reasons: They are excited, enthusiastic, and often told by their church to spread the message.

Tools: Remind them of workplace boundaries, have them stick to the work at hand, and ask them to respect the beliefs of others.

THE ATTENDANCE PROBLEM

Behaviors: Late for work, late back from breaks and lunch, leave early. Always an excuse as to why. May actually falsify their time cards.

Reasons: Some of it is careless, thoughtless, or because they lead “complicated lives.” Some have true time problems; others are just passive-aggressive (the world revolves around me).

Tools: Enforce policies, point out specific examples, enforce consequences and discipline.

THE DOLPHINBehaviors: They perform well, show up on time, and do their jobs, until they don’t. They perform only when you put pressure on them; they stop when you stop.

Reasons: Burned out, unmotivated, or they may need more hands-on supervision than you have time to give. Similar to the Plow Horse.

Tools: Remind them of your need for consistent and constant performance throughout the year. Give examples of when they are above and below the waterline of quality work, attendance, actions.

THE PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE

Behaviors: Kings and Queens of behind-the-scenes manipulations, guilt, and diversion. They act wounded when you call them out for missing deadlines, not doing their work and blaming others. Master manipulators who redirect blame.

Reasons: Learned during childhood to exert control over situations where they felt no power.

Tools: Never let them win by backing down. Call them out with specific examples. Demand high performance.

THE SUCCESSFUL JACKASSBehaviors: Aggressive, confrontational, hard-charging, tramples on people’s feelings for their own benefit or the good of the client or project. A good example is the Worst Boss you ever had.

Reasons: It’s worked for them over the years. Top management rewards them with promotions.

Tools: Don’t be afraid in front of them. Remind them they were also hired to work successfully in teams. Use coaching to smooth their rough edges.

THE CHAMPIONBehaviors: Loves to point out all the injustices, problems, and conflicts in the workplace. Runs to the boss or HR, often with petty complaints about others, that really have no merit.

Reasons: They define themselves as entitled whistleblowers and defenders of what’s right.

Tools: Complain about them to your boss and HR before they can complain about you. Use PIPs to confront their typical poor performance.

THE GOSSIPBehaviors: Talks about everyone else to everyone else, whether they want to hear it or not. Can create cliques, team conflicts, and the silent treatment among co-workers.

Reasons: Bored, not enough to work to do, angry at certain people and uses gossip to sabotage personal or marital relationships, and co-workers.

Tools: Tell them to stop and get back to work. Use sending computer viruses as an example. Enforce consequences related to creating conflicts.

“I’ve never had a problem with drugs. I’ve had problems with the police.”

Keith RichardsThe Rolling Stones

THE SUBSTANCE ABUSERBehaviors: Attendance problems, accidents, conflicts with co-workers and bosses, appearance and health concerns. Worst case: Theft issues, arrests.

Reasons: Starts with home or health problems and escalates to at-work drug or alcohol use.

Tools: The need for a “care-fronting” conversation, testing, EAP or SAP referrals, discipline or termination for non-compliance.

THE PSYCHOPATHBehaviors: Lying, hurting, manipulating people for their own benefit. No empathy for others. Smooth like a snake.

Reasons: They were born this way and they are nearly impossible to treat.

Tools: They need boundaries, consequences, and the use of discipline. Consider early termination.

THE PARANOIDBehaviors: They believe others are out to get them, and ruin their careers or lives, They are instantly suspicious of the motives of their boss or co-workers and fear the worst is being said about them.

Reasons: They were born this way and they are nearly impossible to treat.

Tools: Prove them wrong every time with the facts and the truth. Let them vent but control the conversation. Use your discipline process.

THE NARCISSISTBehaviors: The world revolves around them and their egos are on display at all times. They are overly-sensitive to being slighted, ignored, or not praised. They see themselves as superior.

Reasons: Hard to know, harder to treat. It’s often a defense mechanism for their self-esteem and insecurities. They don’t feel worthy.

Tools: Give them praise when they deserve it, but keep things in perspective. Use reality checks.

THE LIARBehaviors: They are loose with the truth, either a little or a lot. For some it becomes habitual; for others it’s an occasional problem.

Reasons: They get some value out of lying about themselves or others. They have blind spots about accepting the realities around them.

Tools: Test what they say for the real truth. Back up your statements with proof. Challenge them when they are lying or wrong.

THE HYGIENE-CHALLENGEDBehaviors: They don’t stand close enough to the soap and water in the shower. Their personal hygiene is noticeable and hurts the business.

Reasons: Health-related, laziness, religious, depression, medication-driven, distracted.

Tools: Have the necessary “care-fronting” conversation and discuss the impact on the business. Don’t judge; set expectations and ask if you need to make accommodations.

THE CHALLENGER

Behaviors: They love to publicly confront you or others when they believe they are right, often in a too-loud tone. Their version of the facts may or may not be right, but they announce their opinions anyway. Close cousin to the Idea Killer.

Reasons: Self-esteem, frustration, the need to be right in front of their peers, jealousy toward you or co-workers about status, rank, job knowledge.

Tools: Don’t argue in public. Be firm, take them aside to ask them to stop. Use peer pressure.

THE POLITICALLY-CORRECT POSTER CHILD

Behaviors: They are easily offended by seemingly-harmless things people say about life and the world around them. They see injustices and hidden motives in the words of others.

Reasons: Their ability to question things is skewed. Their social skills are often limited and they have been shunned by others.

Tools: If you’ve said or done nothing wrong, stand firm. Defend the opinions of others.

THE JOKESTERBehaviors: Uses humor a lot and usually at the wrong times, often sarcastically or to change the flow of the discussion back to them. The jokes are hurtful and targeted or intentionally disruptive.

Reasons: Self-esteem, jealousy, attention-seeking has worked before, often since childhood.

Tools: Use coaching immediately, with specific examples about how it impacts the business. Use peer pressure or “extinction” techniques.

THE STATUEBehaviors: Just sits there and does not engage in group discussions, ever.

Reasons: Language barrier? Highly introverted? Fearful of being embarrassed in front of boss or peers? Criticized once and never forgot it?

Tools: Draw them out by using safe questions. Try to determine their strengths and ask them to talk about what they know best. Use praise and give support. Don’t allow Idea Killers around them.

THE OVER-EAGERBehaviors: They interrupt group discussions with supportive but distracting comments. They mean well but they have an internal dialogue that comes out during classes, presentations, and trainings.

Reasons: They aren’t trying to be hurtful, but they have a need to fit in, so they say too much at the wrong times. Co-workers can get irritated.

Tools: Use coaching to gently tell them you love their enthusiasm, but they need to wait to speak.

THE HOSTILITY POSTER CHILDBehaviors: Suspicious, lots of idea killer comments, resentful, sarcastic, openly angry toward certain people or new ideas or changes. (A candidate for a two-person retirement party.)

Reasons: Burned out, frustrated about their career path, unhappy in their personal and professional relationships, so they lash out. They can frighten other people because their words are so angry.

Tools: Coaching first, with examples of how their words hurt the team; EAP referral next; discipline or termination if they are unwilling to change.

THE PLOW HORSE

Behaviors: They work on a project until they hit an obstacle and then they sit or do nothing without guidance. Nice people, but not much initiative or creativity to think beyond the tough part of the problem. Not a behavioral issue; an action issue.

Reasons: In the past, a boss told them not to think outside the box, waste time or money, or be creative, so they didn’t.

Tools: Encourage them to use option-thinking to problem-solve. Give them chances to succeed. Reward their self-initiated progress with praise.

THE SHINING STAR

Behaviors: Hard-working, creative, energetic, helpful, supportive, great in teams or alone on projects.

Reasons: Work ethic and kindness toward others.

Tools: Give them challenges but watch for job burnout. Create a career path. Be careful not to create “Teacher’s Pet.”

POTENTIAL REACTIONS TO COACHING

Tears?

Anger and constant disagreement?

Arguing each point?

Constant excuses?

Overly-agreeable?

Insubordinate?

Appreciative and cooperative?

PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY MEETINGS (PAM’s)

Otherwise known as having a “cards on the table meeting.”

Useful for employees who use sarcasm, negative opinions, idea killing, or bad body language.

Try explaining your expectations and asking the employee for his or her help.

Don’t argue or get overly-frustrated; tell the employee what he or she needs to do to comply.

THE COACHING DYNAMICTHE COACHING DYNAMIC

Assisted Discovery

TutorialRole

AdvisoryRole

“A Spectrum of Influence”

INFLUENCING: THE HIDDEN TOOL

Your ability to persuade your people to do their work, not just by telling, but by selling.

Leadership is about building trust. It’s how you use your knowledge, experience, and intelligence to gently or boldly convince others to follow your directions.

It’s known as “walking the talk.”

THE TOOLS OF INFLUENCE

Leading from the front and the rear. (Getting your hands dirty, from time to time.)

Never lying.

Modeling consistency, reliability, and the humane treatment of all.

Keeping your people informed.

Standing up for your people when it’s the right thing to do.

MANAGING CHALLENGING PERSONALITY TYPES:

Dealing with Bullies, Idea Killers, and Smart Slackers

Dr. Steve Albrecht, PHR, CPP, BCCSan Diego, CA

(619) 990-2685drsteve@drstevealbrecht.com

Twitter @DrSteveAlbrecht

Disclaimers

*This webinar is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information about the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional services. *This webinar provides general information only and does not constitute legal advice. No attorney-client relationship has been created. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be sought. We recommend that you consult with qualified local counsel familiar with your specific situation before taking any action.

Dr. Steve Albrecht manages a San Diego-based training, coaching, and management consulting firm. As a trainer, speaker, author, and consultant, Dr. Albrecht is internationally recognized for his expertise in high-risk HR issues. He provides HR consulting, site security assessments, coaching, and training workshops in supervisory improvement, workplace violence prevention, harassment prevention, drug and alcohol awareness, team building and team conflict resolution, negotiation, and stress management. Dr. Albrecht holds a B.A. in English, a B.S. in Psychology, an M.A. in Security Management, and a doctoral degree in Business Administration (D.B.A.). He has been a trainer for over 26 years and is certified as a Professional in Human Resources (PHR) by the Society for Human Resource Management, as a Certified Protection Professional (CPP) by the American Society for Industrial Security, and as a Board Certified Coach (BCC) by the Center for Credentialing and Education. He has received over 48 hours training in Critical Incident Stress Debriefing (CISD). Dr. Albrecht has been speaking and teaching at universities and other venues on management, leadership, and conflict resolution issues since 1996. He is a past president of the San Diego Chapter of the Association of Threat Assessment Professionals (ATAP).

Steve Albrecht