Marriage

• Do Now: Why do people get married? Consider what you know about successful and failing marriages.

Marriage

• Men and women of 40’s and 50’s married earlier and had children faster then their parents.

• 60’s-divorce rate rises-fertility fell and young adults postponed marriage.

• 70’s shift to individualist society-early marriage and childbearing discouraged.

• Marriage has steadily decreased since the 70’s with only a minor increase starting in the beginning of 2000.

Divorce

• Why has the divorce rate steadily increased?• People have become more tolerant of divorce

• What characteristics of the wife and her husband affect the probability of marital break-up?• Age of marriage, whether the husband is

stably employed, whether the wife works etc…

Divorce

JournalJournalYou have probably known someone who has You have probably known someone who has

gone through a divorce. gone through a divorce. What were the positive outcomes of this? What were the positive outcomes of this?

What were the difficulties they had to go through? What were the difficulties they had to go through?

Do you think couples should get divorced or work Do you think couples should get divorced or work through their problems? Explain.through their problems? Explain.

Factors Leading to Divorce

• The most common cause of The most common cause of divorce is divorce is selfishness.selfishness.

• It could be selfishness with time, It could be selfishness with time, money, work, caring and money, work, caring and communication.communication.

• Other factors of divorce may be Other factors of divorce may be changing value system, physical changing value system, physical and emotional abuse, religious and emotional abuse, religious differences or alcohol/substance differences or alcohol/substance abuse.abuse.

Personal Problems Associated With Divorce.

• No one ever escapes from a divorce No one ever escapes from a divorce unscathed.unscathed.

• Hopes and dreams are replaced with feelings Hopes and dreams are replaced with feelings of rejection, security, and a loss of self-of rejection, security, and a loss of self-esteem.esteem.

• The 4 major arguments against divorce are:The 4 major arguments against divorce are:

1.1. Divorce hurts you.Divorce hurts you.

2.2. Divorce hurts those around you.Divorce hurts those around you.

3.3. Single life is not what it is cracked up to be.Single life is not what it is cracked up to be.

4.4. Staying married is better for you.Staying married is better for you.

More Personal Problems Associated With Divorce.

• Divorced people have more illness, more Divorced people have more illness, more premature deaths, higher suicide rates and premature deaths, higher suicide rates and more accidents than those who are married.more accidents than those who are married.

• When we divorce we learn to doubt that any When we divorce we learn to doubt that any relationship can be permanent.relationship can be permanent.

• Children fear that they caused the divorce and Children fear that they caused the divorce and they feel rejected and alone.they feel rejected and alone.

Coping With Divorce• Dealing with divorce is similar to coping Dealing with divorce is similar to coping

with a death.with a death.• A person goes through three stages.A person goes through three stages.

1.1. Shock and numbness – one blocks out Shock and numbness – one blocks out reality, denial.reality, denial.

2.2. Reality – deep sadness and great Reality – deep sadness and great sense of loss, depression and anxiety.sense of loss, depression and anxiety.

3.3. Recovery – they give up their hopes Recovery – they give up their hopes and plans they had with the other and plans they had with the other person.person.

Divorce will not have the same effect on all children.

The consequences vary, depending on:The consequences vary, depending on:• children's ages, children's ages, • family characteristics, family characteristics, • level of family conflict, level of family conflict, • parent-child relationships, parent-child relationships, • socio-economic level, socio-economic level, • mental well-being of each parent, mental well-being of each parent, • maternal employment, maternal employment, • and amount of social support. and amount of social support. • Some divorces bring relief to families while others Some divorces bring relief to families while others

leave the family devastated.leave the family devastated.• Some divorces bring relief to families while others leave the Some divorces bring relief to families while others leave the family devastated.family devastated.

Effects of Divorce by AgeAge Theme Symptoms What to do2-5 Abandonment Sleep Explain custodial

disturbances parent will return.

5-9 Displaced, School Discuss fears,Grief difficulties Contact with

non-custodial parent.

9-12 Acting out Spying, fight Patience, lovewith parents.

13+ Relationship Independence,Communication,

failure promiscuous encouragerelationships.

Adjusting to DivorceParents can help children adjust to divorce Parents can help children adjust to divorce

by: by:

1.1. decreasing conflict, decreasing conflict,

2.2. relationship with parents, relationship with parents,

3.3. economic stability, economic stability,

4.4. and consistent visitation.and consistent visitation.

The Major Challenges of Single Parenting Include:

1.1. Day Care IssuesDay Care Issues

2.2. Personal timePersonal time

3.3. Economic StabilityEconomic Stability

• - Divorce rate has dramatically increased from about 20% in the 50’s to now which is about 50%.

• Remarriagea higher risk of divorce!

• Why?

Divorce Statistics

• 1st marriage-about 50%

• 2nd marriage-67%

• 3rd marriage-73%

Family Facts…

• America=the strongest divorce rates• Unwed births-in 1960-5% of children were

born out of wedlock. Now it is 35% and is going up.

• 9% in the 1900…9% in the 60’s of children living in single-parent household. Now it is is 28% (this can include mom living with boyfriend)

• 17%-1960-kids living apart without biological father…35% today and increasing.

Research Marriage Trends:

• Find 10 different marriage trends and give the reasons behind these trends.

• Example: More women are waiting until they are older to get married

• Reasons: More women are attending college.

Divorce Research

• By yourself or with a partner, research 10 different marriage trends and 10 different divorce trends.

• Explain the reason/research behind these different trends.

• For example: More women are waiting longer to get married compared to the 1950’s.

• Reason: 1. More women are attending college. • 2. More socially acceptable.• For each of the sets of 10, star which one you find to

be most “shocking” and why?’