Military Press Zone 2, Aug. 15, 2014

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Serving Those Who Serve Us Volume 38 • #16 • August 15, 2014

• Wealth gap slows economic growth • America's 10 worst tax-dodging companies

The Greedy

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2 August 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS www.MilitaryPress.com • [email protected]

WealthGap

Slowing U.S. economic

growth

By Jack BoakAP Economics Writer

WASHINGTON — Economists have long argued that a rising wealth gap

has complicated the U.S. rebound from the Great Recession.

Now, an analysis by the rating agency Standard & Poor’s lends its

weight to the argument: The widening gap between the wealthiest Americans

and everyone else has made the economy more prone to boom-bust

cycles and slowed the 5-year-old recovery from the recession.

Cont’d. on next page

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The Military PressAugust 15, 2014

Publisher Richard T. Matz

Customer Service Manager Carol Williams

Advertising Manager Valerie Swaine

Account Representatives: Michelle HullVictoria Wills

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DistributionRobert Wood

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Economic disparities appear to be reaching extremes that “need to be watched because they’re damag-ing to growth,” said Beth Ann Bovi-no, chief U.S. economist at S&P.

The rising concentration of in-come among the top 1 percent of earners has contributed to S&P’s cutting its growth estimates for the economy. In part because of the dis-parity, it estimates that the econo-my will grow at a 2.5 percent annual pace in the next decade, down from a forecast five years ago of a 2.8 per-cent rate.

The S&P report advises against using the tax code to try to narrow the gap. Instead, it suggests that greater access to education would help ease wealth disparities.

Part of the problem is that edu-

cational achievement has stalled in recent decades. More school-ing usually translates into higher wages. S&P estimates that the U.S. economy would grow annually by an additional half a percentage point —or $105 billion — over the next five years, if the average the Ameri-can worker had completed just one more year of school.

By contrast, S&P concludes, heavy taxes that would be meant to reduce inequality could remove incentives for people to work and cause businesses to hire fewer employees because of the costs in-volved.

The report builds on data from the Congressional Budget Office, the International Monetary Fund and academic economists to ex-

plain how income disparities can hurt growth. Many consumers tend to become more dependent on debt to continue spending, thereby wors-ening the boom-bust cycle. Or they curb their spending, and growth im-proves only modestly, as it has dur-ing the current recovery.

Tax data tracked as part of the World Top Incomes Database proj-ect reveal just how much the eco-nomic chasm has expanded.

An American in the top 1 percent of earners had an average income of $1.3 million in 2012, the most recent year for which data are available. Average income jumps to $30.8 mil-lion for the top 0.01 percent.

Adjusted for inflation, the top 0.01 percent’s average earnings have jumped by a factor of seven

since 1913. For the bottom 90 per-cent of Americans, average incomes after inflation have grown by a fac-tor of just three since 1917 and have declined for the past 13 years.

Yet not all economists agree on how much, or even whether, the wealth gap slows growth.

Harvard University economist Greg Mankiw wrote in a 2013 pa-per that “the evidence is that most of the very wealthy get that way by making substantial economic con-tributions, not by gaming the sys-tem.”

But S&P challenges the notion that a rising tide automatically will lift all boats:

“A lifeboat carrying a few, sur-rounded by many treading water, risks capsizing,” it argues.

But S&P challenges the notion that a rising tide automatically will lift all boats:

“A lifeboat carrying a few, surrounded by many treading water, risks capsizing,” it argues.

Spreading the wealthBy Richard Matz, Publisher

Pres. Obama’s plan on spreading the wealth is not a bad idea. The problem with his idea is that he had absolutely no idea on how to implement the plan. He’s left that up to his extremely left wing cronies. He created a larger bu-reaucracy to distribute our tax dollars to those already on welfare and to il-

legal immigrants that have broken our laws and crossed our borders. Obama care is just another failure on spend-ing our taxes and the end result has be-come a nightmare. He’s asked for and received $368 billion to provide a tem-porary/permanent residence for minor children who have crossed our borders over the last year. An overwhelming

amount of Americans totally disagree with this plan. All it has become is a signal for more illegal men women and children to come and enjoy the free ride on the American tax dollar. The motivation behind his plan is to ensure that the Democratic vote will increase over the next 50+ years. The Republi-can Party on the other hand is trying desperately to sue or maybe impeach Obama for his abuse of power and vio-lating the Constitution.

Years ago, I had an older friend who was related to the Kennedys. He was a lobbyist and represented a few national organizations which included the NAACP. He explained to me how the congressman and senators horse traded back and forth to enrich their states and their own coffers. He also told me how he created a nonprofit corporation so he could donate monies to candidates of both parties. He told me he would donate 60% to the candi-date or party that he felt had the best chance to be elected. Then he donated 40% to the other side just so he could cover his bet in case he picked the wrong candidate or party. He also told me some wild stories about the politi-

cians on both sides of the out and how they abused their offices and foolishly spent our tax dollars.

As we all know the President and both parties have accomplished abso-lutely nothing over the past 6 years. The both sides have the ability to take the public eye off the real prob-lems. I’m referring to job growth, il-legal immigration, and distribution of wealth. There always seems to be a new catastrophe to take our attention off these problems. The Democrats should offer the Republicans to close our borders immediately in exchange for the Republicans to agree to close the loopholes in our tax codes that pro-tect large corporations and the 1% of Americans that control the wealth of our nation. This is just one simple solu-tion to a major problem, but we have simple politicians that refuse to put our country firstt instead of their po-litical agendas.

We always look forward to yourcomments, critique and kudos.email: [email protected]@militarypress.com

Richard Matz, Publisher


By Josh KilburnAccording to a recent report re-

leased by Americans for Tax Fairness, corporate taxes may be at their lowest point in 60 years — in part because the corporations have become better at avoiding their taxes to begin with. The report singles out the ten most egregious tax-dodging companies, and explains how they do it in great detail. Loopholes include caps on executive pay taxes, deductions for fines paid when companies break the law, and other unnecessary write-offs.

Common Dreams further reports that in 2013, U.S. companies hoarded

$1.64 trillion over seas — 12% more than than the previous year.

10. Bank of AmericaIt shouldn’t surprise anyone seeing

a bank on this list, especially not this poorly named treasonous giant. Ac-cording to the report, Bank of America runs its business through more than 300 off-shore tax-havens.

It reported $17.2 billion dollars in profits for 2012, and would have owed$4.3 billion dollars in taxes if this was brought back to the United States.

9. CitigroupAnother big bank; Citigroup has a

significant chunk of the $11.5 billion dollars it should have paid in taxes to the U.S. parked in tax haven countries. It made a grand total of $42 billion in profits in the year 2012, but paid zero of that in taxes.

8. Exxon MobilIf pressed to name the most evil

corporations on the planet, Exxon Mo-bil joins the likes of Rio Tinto and De Beers, achieving a notoriety compa-rable to a real-life Weyland-Yutani or Omnicorp. The quintessential Big Oil Company had a three-year federal tax on income of just 15%. We gave the company a taxpayer subsidized profit of $6.2 billion in 2012. By the end of the fourth quarter in 2012, they had raked in $43 billion dollars in profits, and paid zero in taxes.

7. FedExFedEx made $6 billion in profits

over the last three years, and paid ex-actly none of that in taxes. In fact, they got a tax subsidy of $21 billion dollars, paid for and gift-wrapped, courtesy of the taxpayers.

6. General ElectricGE’s has it really good on the backs

of the taxpayers according to the report. They pocketed $21.8 billion in taxpayer contracts from the govern-ment during the period from 2006 to 2012. Then, they dodged their tax re-sponsibility, gaining a tax subsidy — again, courtesy of the taxpayers — of nearly $29 billion over the last 11 years.

5. HoneywellA jack-of-all trades company, Hon-

eywell sure managed to find the honey. Honeywell made $1.7 billion in tax sub-sidies, and while they paid $50 million to the Federal government in the years from 2009 to 2012, they made $5 billion in that same period. This puts their tax rate at a paltry 1%.

4. MerckWhile dodging its fair share of in-

come taxes, the pharmaceutical com-pany Merck managed to net $8.7 bil-lion dollars in taxpayer contracts from 2006 to 2012. Of their $13.6 million in profits, only $2.5 billion went to federal income taxes in 2009 through 2012.

3. MicrosoftThe software company downloaded

$4.5 billion in savings by uploading their profits to the tax haven of Puerto Rico. In 2012, the company had $60.8 billion dollars stashed off-shore, and paid nothing in U.S. taxes.

2. PfizerFrom 201o to 2012, the pharmaceuti-

cal company paid no income tax at all, while netting $43 billion worldwide. It also receives a taxpayer-sponsored gift of $2.2 billion dollars, in federal tax re-turns.

1. VerizonVerizon paid nothing in taxes from

2008 to 2012, while making $19.3 bil-lion dollars. Instead of paying taxes, it received a nice gift of $535 million from the American Taxpayers in tax subsidies — it’s really nice of us to keep giving these companies all this money, isn’t it? We’re so generous we made Verizon’s effective tax rate nega-tive! That’s right. Verizon has a -2.8% tax rate from 2008 to 2012.

Honorable mentionWe are not sure why Apple didn’t

make Americans for Tax Fairness’ list. Because they manage to be so evil while still having huge appeal to lib-eral, creative types, we feel obliged to give them an Honorable mention.

Common Dreams reports Apple hoarded $158.8 billion in cash overseas in 2013. The New York Times adds that “Apple’s tax avoidance efforts shifted at least $74 billion from the reach of the Internal Revenue Service between 2009 and 2012.”

America’s top 10 worst tax-dodging companies

TOP TEN

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HOUSING

Nearly 69 years ago, Theodore “Dutch” Van Kirk navigated a U.S. B-29 Superfortress called the Enola Gay over Hiroshima, Japan, on a sunny August day. Once over its target, the Enola Gay unloaded the first atomic bomb dropped in war.

A single bomb blast killed some 140,000 people and helped end World War II -- and pushed the world sudden-ly into the nuclear era.

On Monday, July 28, Van Kirk died of natural causes at the Park Springs retirement community in Stone Moun-tain, Georgia, according to his eldest daughter Vicki Triplett.

He was 93.His death means there are now no

surviving members of the Enola Gay’s crew who, by doing their jobs, became an early and integral part in the ongo-ing narrative over nuclear weapons.

While in the U.S. military, Van Kirk flew dozens of missions in Europe and North Africa. Yet the history books will largely remember him and others aboard that B-29 for the morning of Au-gust 6, 1945.

By then, Van Kirk had flown about 15 missions out of England and about 10 more out of North Africa. He then returned to the United States with new orders, training “primarily to make the

Last crewman of the Enola Gay dies at 93

Crew of the Enola Gay: Major Thomas Ferebee, Col Paul Tibbetts Jr., Major Theodore

Van Kirk, Capt. Kermit Beahan, Capt. Robert Lewis, Sgt Wyatt Duzenbury and Sgt

George Caron. (Getty)

rapid turn and running away from the bomb,” Van Kirk recalled decades later to CNN.

They dropped the bomb dubbed “Little Boy” around 8:15 a.m.

“You didn’t see anything except a bright flash and the airplane,” Van Kirk recalled. “You saw a white cloud hanging over the city. You saw the -- un-derneath the cloud the entire city was just entirely covered with smoke and dust, and it looked like a pot of boiling oil down there.”

His first thought when the bomb fell was “’God, I’m glad it worked ... Num-ber two, the thoughts were, ‘This war is

over.’ And that was good. That was good.’”

Three days later, another atom-ic bomb was dropped on Nagasa-ki. Japan surren-dered soon after that, ending the bloody war in the Pacific and, in so doing, preventing a U.S. land invasion.


Dwight D. Eisenhower34th President of the United States

Served from Jan. 20, 1953 to Jan. 20, 1961

“Our

American values

are not luxu-ries, butnecessities — not the salt in our bread, but the bread itself.” — Jimmy Carter

World events• U.S. military intervention in Iran• Great Britain declares state of

emergency due to national rail strike• The first commercial TV station

with advertisements starts in London• The St. Lawrence Seaway opens

to ocean vessels from Montreal to U.S. ports on the Great Lakes

• The Soviet Union and its Eastern Bloc allies sign the Warsaw Pact giving integra-tion of military, economic and cultural policy between the eight Communist nations

• Ruth Ellis, the last wom-an in England to be executed, is hung at Holloway Prison

• 77 die in a disaster at 24-hour Le Mans Race

• New polyurethane is used more and more in everyday

goods• West Germany

joins NATO

• The military seizes control in Argentina, forcing Juan Peron to flee

U.S. news• Hurricane

Diane hits the northeast U.S., kill-ing 200 and causing over $1 billion in damage

• “In God We Trust” is added to all U.S. paper cur-

rency• United Airlines Flight

629 is blown up shortly af-ter takeoff over Longmont, Colorado

• Rosa Parks’ arrest for not giving up her bus seat to a white person in Montgomery, Alabama, sets the American Civil

Rights Movement in motion• Emmett Till, a black 14-year-old

teenager, is murdered for not show-ing respect to a white woman in Money, Miss.

• Jonas Salk produces the vac-cine to prevent polio

Popular culture• Disneyland opens in Cali-

fornia• Though McDonald’s began

in California by the McDonald brothers who initiated the low price fast food concept, it was not until 1955 when Ray Kroc opened the first McDonald’s franchise chain in Des Plains, Ill., that it became what it is today.

6 August 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS

• PEZ was original-ly created as a mint dispenser in 1927,

but soon after the Pez Hass Austrian candy maker the company decided to place heads on the dispensers and market them to children. Santa Claus and Mickey Mouse were the first ren-ditions.

Movies• Blackboard Jungle• East of Eden• The Night of the Hunter• To Catch a Thief• Oklahoma!

Richard M. Nixon36th Vice President of the United StatesServed from Jan. 20, 1953 to Jan. 20, 1961

1955Cadillac

1955Thunderbird

“A people that values its privileges above itsprinciples soon loses.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower


Born this year• Steve Jobs, Apple Computer• Bill Gates, Microsoft• Tony Dungy, first African-

American NFL head coach

• Whoopi Gold-berg, comedian/actress

• Kevin Costner, actor

• Willem Dafoe, actor

• Olga Ko-rbut, Olympic

gymnast, USSR

• Reba McEntire,

singer/ac-tress• Donatella

Versace, fashion designer

BORN THIS YEAR: Bill Gates, Microsoft founder.Above left: Howie Mandel, comedian/game show

host; Reba McEntire, country singer/TV star;Willem Dafoe, movie actor; Whoppi Goldberg,

comedian/actress/talk show host.

TV shows• Gunsmoke• Alfred

Hitchcock Pres-ents

• Cheyenne• The

Honey-moon-ers

• The Little Rascals

• Highway Patrol

• The Law-rence Welk Show

• The Mickey Mouse Club• Captain Kangaroo

Music• “Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom

White,” Perez Prado• “Rock Around The

Clock,” Bill Haley and His Comets

• “The Yellow Rose of Texas,” Mitch Miller

• “Autumn Leaves,” Roger Williams

• “Unchained Melody,” Les Baxter

• “Sixteen Tons,” Tennes-see Ernie Ford

• Income per year ....... $4,130• Minimum wage .............. 75¢• New house ............ $15,000• Monthly rent .................... $87• New car .................... $1,900• Gallon of gas .................. 23¢• Dozen eggs .................... 61¢• Gallon of milk .................. 92¢• Loaf of bread .................. 18¢• First-class stamp .............. 3¢• Movie ticket .................... 50¢

AVERAGE COSTOF LIVING

955remember when...

1

August 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 7

1955 ChevyBel Air


By Hollie McKay, FoxNews.comLOS ANGELES – Robin Williams

participated in United Service Organi-zation (USO) tours for more than a de-cade, entertaining troops in war zones from Afghanistan to Iraq to Kuwait. He made many trips to 13 different coun-tries and performing stand-up routines for almost 90,000 troops. So the news of his death -- believed to be a suicide -- sent shock waves through the U.S. armed forces.

Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel said Monday that the entire Depart-ment of Defense community “mourns the loss” of the Hollywood figure.

“Robin was a gifted actor and co-median, but he was also a true friend and supporter of our troops,” he said in a statement. “From entertaining thousands of service men and women in war zones, to his philanthropy that helped veterans struggling with hid-den wounds of war, he was a loyal and compassionate advocate for all who serve this nation in uniform.”

The USO added that “Robin circled the globe entertaining troops and fam-ilies. He will always be a part of our USO family and will be sorely missed.”

Fellow Hollywood actor Gary Si-nise, himself a tireless advocate for the troops, took to Twitter to acknowledge Williams’s “genius as an artist and co-median,” and his love for the armed forces which “no doubt was much ap-preciated by all who serve.”

Indeed it was.“In the military in the last 15 years?

Then you’ve probably got a Robin Wil-liams story,” one former service mem-ber tweeted. Another wrote “thanks for making us laugh when we needed it the most.” Another observed that he was a “beloved figure” on base while one veteran tweeted: “Nobody had our back more than the great Robin Wil-liams. A generation of troops will for-ever be grateful.”

Williams, 63, was said to be in a deep depression in the past weeks, something many veterans can relate to.

“Many veterans are expressing their grief, because depression does not discriminate. It effects the best of us as much as it craves attention from

the worst in us. Robin put himself out there so much, especially for troops in combat,” Lt. Col. Arnold V. Strong, an Army Reserve officer and veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan, told FOX411. “I saw him myself in Kuwait in December 2004. So many of us saw him as a heart of gold, despite his demons.”

Strong also noted that many in the military community are hurting to hear of Williams’s death because “we too have our own ghosts and inner hurts” and depression powerfully resonates.

“Far too many of us are dealing with these issues through prescription drugs that are but one tool in a much broader tool kit of healing arts,” he said. “I fear that the initial sadness that so many of us are expressing may just as eas-ily turn to anger within days because we all know fellow veterans that have taken their own lives.”

Military.com posted a tribute to Wil-liams highlighting perhaps on of his most memorable interactions with de-ployed men and women, a 2007 appear-ance to Camp Arifjan, Kuwait.

In the video, the actor is left stunned when, suddenly, everyone turns away from him as a “Retreat” ceremony begins during his stand-up routine. Williams was unaware at the time that the American flag on base was being lowered to end the day and by tradi-tion, troops immediately stand at at-tention.

The humble performer improvised with a humorous response.

“I’m not going to forget that. I’ve never had an entire audience just go ‘forget you!’ he lamented, before turn-ing his own back on the large crowd of laughing soldiers.

According to a source closely con-nected to the late comedian, he was very earnest and deeply engaged with issues involving our military.

“Robin was very sensitive and com-passionate person,” said the insider. “He cared a lot about the men and women over there fighting.”

“He really put his money where his mouth is,” one prominent entertain-ment industry added. “Unlike so many, when he sought to help people, he re-ally went ahead and helped people.”

Military community pays tribute to ‘true friend’ Robin Williams

COMMUNITY


News briefs...Marines change special duty pay

Most special duty assignment pay rates are scheduled to be revised to meet budgetary constraints beginning Oct. 1. Most Marines reporting to spe-cial duty assignments after the effec-tive date will receive a lower rate than in previous years. Special duty pay adjustments will affect Marines serv-ing as recruiters, drill instructors, com-bat instructors and embassy security guards, among other billets; however,

Marines who started serving in special duty assignments before Oct. 1 will be grandfathered and will not experience any pay changes.

Some special duty assignment pay allowances will increase after a 12-month introductory period. For ex-ample, after serving one year as a drill instructor a Marine’s special duty pay will increase from Level 3, $225 to Lev-el 4, $300.

Military mail makes changesChanges to military postal opera-

tions (MPO) are intended to save the Defense Department $4 million annu-ally while providing services compa-rable to the U.S. Postal Service. The changes will go into effect during Octo-ber and November, 2014.

For changes of address, automated equipment will intercept a letter if a change of address is on file and redirect

it to the new address. Servicemembers will now have to go online at www.usps.com and complete an Internet change of address. Authorized MPO patrons will be charged a $1 verification fee to their credit or debit cards, just as they would if they were changing their do-mestic address. For more information, visit http://hqdainet.army.mil/mpsa/in-dex.htm.

President signs $16.3B bill to overhaul VAPresident Barack Obama on has

signed major Veterans Affairs Depart-ment legislation intended to speed up access to healthcare for thousands of veterans and hold accountable any ex-ecutives deemed to be incompetent or abusing their positions.

The $16.3 billion Veterans Access,

Choice and Accountability Act ex-pands community healthcare options for veterans who face long wait times or commutes; funds the hiring of more doctors, nurses and other health-care workers; and improves accountability by making it easier for the agency sec-retary to fire problem executives.

DoD working on POV shipping issuesThe military is currently addressing

concerns military customers are facing when shipping their privately owned vehicles. Navy officials acknowledge the transfer to the new POV contrac-tor did not go as smoothly as it could have. Military personnel and DoD civil-ian employees who are experiencing delays with their vehicle arrival time should call IAL at 1-855-389-9499 and choose Option 2, or visit www.pcsmy-pov.com. Customers can be reimbursed

for rental car fees incurred after their vehicle’s original required delivery date is missed.

While the first seven days of rental car fees are handled by the member’s local military or government claims of-fice, rental car fees incurred after the initial seven-day period will be reim-bursed by IAL via an “inconvenience claim.” For details on each of the three options for filing a claim, visit www.pc-smypov.com/FAQ.

Packing tips for military mailHere are several tips for safely get-

ting your package through military mail: (1) have secure labeling on the outside of packaging using tape; (2) provide full, accurate mailing address-es and return addresses; (3) include identical information inside the pack-age, parcel, bag or trunk in case the mailing label comes off; (4) include a phone number and email address in-side of the package; (5) track all mailed items when possible and always con-

firm receipt with the recipient; (6) in-clude secure tags on all items, especial-ly duffel bags or trunks with military equipment; and (7) when searching through the Mail Recovery Center, pro-vide accurate, detailed descriptions of missing items, especially unique items. Servicemembers who call the Postal Service’s toll-free customer service number -- 1-800-275-8777 -- should say they are military and provide a track-ing number for the missing item.

LEAVING ACTIVE DUTY?Keep Serving in the California

National Guard

There are openings statewide for prior service personnel in both

Officer and Enlisted Ranks • Keep your retirement benefits • Maintain your rank • Healthcare benefits • Part-time service in your community • Up to 100% tuition assistance • Enjoy the camaraderie • Switch to a new career field or keep

your current career

EDUCATION


ACROSS1. Anagram of “Meat”5. Infants9. A Maori club13. Applications14. French for “Love”16. Offended17. Grumble18. Name of a book19. Diva’s solo20. Damp22. Cable24. Colored part of an eye26. TV, radio, etc.27. Custodian30. Women’s stockings33. Gave forth35. Hindu loincloth37. Diminish38. Films of impurities41. Little bit42. Animal hides45. Blowback48. Property51. Remedy52. Reveals54. Infiltrator55. Frivolity59. Hold responsible62. “What a shame!”63. Run away to wed65. Cain’s brother66. Nonclerical67. Showers with love68. Burrowing marine mollusk69. Gambling game70. Sharpen71. Cravings

DOWN1. Large indefinite quantity2. Brother of Jacob3. Temporary4. A painkiller5. Make lace6. Leave out7. Clan emblem8. Glum9. Egyptian king10. Emanation11. Journey12. Salt Lake state15. Slender

21. Devil tree23. Decorate with gold leaf25. Drunkards27. Landrover28. Yellowish-brown29. Record (abbrev.)31. Pronounced32. Look at with fixed eyes34. Make a copy of a recording36. Notion39. Chart40. Fraud

43. Hot sauce44. Thin strip46. A round handle47. False belief49. Cornered50. Lemon or canary53. Indolence55. Hesitate56. Wings57. Acquire58. Type of sword60. Average61. Shade trees64. Eastern Standard TimeP

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This week’s solutions:

SUDOKUThe rules to play Sudoku are quite simple. Fill in the blanks

so that each row, each column, and each of the nine 3x3 grids contain one instance of each of the numbers 1 through 9.

Just for

LaughsHow many blonds does it take?

A blond was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blond, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.

So, the blond went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her blond roommate saw her and asked, “What are you doing?” The first blond told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.

The roommate rolled her eyes and

said, “Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.”

Another doggone blond joke

A blond and her husband are ly-ing in bed listening to the next door

neighbor’s dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blond jumps up out of bed and says, “I’ve had enough of this”. She goes downstairs. The blond finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, “The dog is still barking, What have you been doing?” The blond says, “I put the dog in our backyard, let’s

see how THEY like it!”

Irritated momA man had six children and was very

proud of his achievement. He was so proud of himself that he started calling his wife, ‘Mother of Six’, in spite of her objections.

One night they went to a party. He decided that it was time to go home, and wanted to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.

He shouted at the top of his voice,”Shall we go home, Mother of Six?” His wife, irritated by her hus-band’s lack of discretion shouted back, “Anytime you’re ready, Father of Four!”

Jumping to conclusionsA man, who smelled like a distillery,

flopped down on a subway seat next to

a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. Af-ter a few minutes the disheveled man turned to the priest and said, “Say, Fa-ther, what causes arthritis?”

“Mister, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man.”

“Well, I’ll be damned,” the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. “I’m very sorry, I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthri-tis?”

“I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading that the Pope does.”

SlickAn older, white-haired man walked

into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, “I don’t think you understand, I want something very special.” At that statement, the jewel-er went to his special stock and brought another ring over. “Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000,” the jeweler said.

The young lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excite-

ment. The old man seeing this said, “We’ll take it.”

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated by check. “I know you need to make sure the check is good, so I’ll write it now and you can call the bank on Mon-day to verify the funds and I’ll pick the ring up Monday afternoon,” he said. Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. “There’s no money in that account.”

“I know”, said the old man, “but can you imagine the weekend I had?”

Potent impotentHusband always insisted on making

love in the dark. After 20 years wife turns on the

light, finds him holding a vibrator. She goes balistic, “You impotent

idiot. How could you lie to me all these years?” Husband looks her straight in the eyes & calmly says, “I’ll explain the toy, you explain the kids.”

Cover upA woman didn’t come home one

night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house. The man called his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it. A man didn’t come home 1 night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friends house. The wife called her husband’s 10 best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had slept over and 2 said he was still there.


Broker Cooperation Welcome. ©2014 KB Home (KBH). A 1.4kW solar power system is included as a standard component of a new KB home at Mahogany Hills. Energy bill savings are based on estimated monthly costs for electricity and gas for a home as designed (not as built) with the corresponding solar power system compared to estimated monthly costs for electricity and gas without the system. KBH makes no guarantee of energy production by any solar power system installed with a home or of energy costs or savings, if any, experienced by any homeowner. Energy costs and savings, if any, will vary by floor plan, home size, occupancy, daily activities, appliance usage, thermostat settings, climate conditions and orientation of the home and the solar power system size and operating conditions, among other factors. KBH reserves the right to modify, discontinue or replace any solar options at any time without prior notice.

Other restrictions and limitations may apply. Solar power systems are supplied by SunPower Corporation®. KBH and SunPower Corporation are independent companies. SunPower and the SunPower logo are trademarks or registered trademarks of SunPower Corporation. Plans, pricing, financing, terms, availability and specifications subject to change/prior sale without notice and may vary by neighborhood, lot location and home series. Buyer responsible for all taxes, insurance and other fees. Sq. footage is approximate. HOA applies. Photos may depict upgraded landscaping/options and may not represent lowest-priced homes. Photo does not depict racial preference. See sales representative for details. KB Home Sales–Southern California Inc. (CA Real Estate License 00242327). SOCAL-120253

Ironwood at Mahogany Hills in MurrietaHomes from the mid $300s• 2,628–4,506 sq. ft., 3–6 bedrooms., 2–6 baths• parks, baseball field, tot lots and moreFrom I-215 or I-15, exit Murrieta Hot Springs Rd. heading east. Turn left on Winchester Rd., left on Max Gillis Blvd. and right on Prickly Pear Way to sales center. (951) 923-4150

Acacia at Mahogany Hills in MurrietaHomes from the mid $300s• 2,343–2,894 sq. ft., 3–5 bdrms., 2–4 baths• single-story homes, solar includedFrom I-215 or I-15, exit Murrieta Hot Springs Rd. heading east. Turn left on Winchester Rd., left on Max Gillis Blvd. and right on Prickly Pear Way to sales center. (951) 923-4057

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Many KB Home neighborhoods feature amazing amenities like parks, ball fields, playgrounds and more. At KB Home, we’re ready to build you a great new home AND a relaxing new lifestyle.

Neighborhood parks. Yours at Mahogany Hills in Murrieta.


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Military Press Zone 2, Aug. 15, 2014