Connecting4SuccessAdvice Guru Virtual Training 2011

Module 2

Overview- Module 2

Effective Interpersonal Communication

Attention skillsListening skills

Self AssessmentEmpathetic understandingInterchangeable responses

Introduction

To be an excellent Advice Guru, you must learn and demonstrate appropriate attending skills, active listening techniques, empathy, and interchangeable responses

Advice Guru’s must remain nonjudgmental and genuinely enjoy assisting their mentee with his/her transition to university

In order to develop and establish a helping relationship high levels of trust, respect and warmth are necessary

“About 70 percent of an average person’s waking hours are spent communicating.”WISC-Online

Attention Skills

Physical AttentionYou body should be communicating nonverbally that you are really interested in what your mentee is saying

E.g. sitting down, good eye contact, providing supportive expressions of warmth and caring

You should not be displaying behaviors that may be distracting to the person seeking help

E.g. no fidgeting, distracting movements, ignoring cell phone, or judgmental facial expressions

Attention Skills

Psychological AttentionFocusing on the whole person (E.g. feelings, thoughts, intentions), while being attentiveTrying to enter the other persons world, seeing and experiencing the world as they do

Listening Skills

As an Advice Guru, listening skills are critical

Common Problems/ Barriers in ListeningEnvironmental distractions

Cell phones, noise, temperature, odors, other people talking

PrideTaking over the conversation because we think that they have nothing to learn from our mentee

Close mindednessDon’t assume that you have all the right answersKeep an open mind for effective listening

Listening Skills

Thought SpeedThe human mind can process a lot of information in a short period of timeDon’t jump to conclusionsAvoid letting your mind stray while you are meeting with your mentee

DefensivenessDefending is a primal response to feeling attacked, threatened, misunderstood or disrespectedDon’t view comments and criticisms as a personal attack

Active Listening Skills: Self Assessment

Please click the following link to complete the Self Assessment:

http://www.mhhe.com/business/management/buildyourmanagementskills/updated_flash/topic13b/quiz.html

If you cannot click on the link, please copy and paste the link into your browser.

What were your results?• What was your score on the self-assessment?• What are some of your listening strengths?• What are some of your listening weaknesses?• How do you plan on improving upon your weaknesses?

Hint: You may see these questions again on the Module 2 Quiz

Empathic Understanding

Empathy is a critical dimension to interpersonal communicationEmpathy is the capability to share another being’s emotions and feelings (Wikipedia, 2011).

Putting yourself in your mentee’s shoesEmpathy is not sympathy

In other words, you can understand why someone feels the way they do, but you don’t necessarily have to:

A. Feel the same B. Think the same…in order to have empathy with them

Interchangeable Responses

How do you demonstrate that you are listening intently and understanding the problem you are hearing?Interchangeable Responses

Paraphrase what your mentee has told youMentee: “I can’t believe the time I wasted this morning. Dr. Jones and I had an appointment to discuss my winter class schedule and I waited an hour and he never showed up. This is the second time he has done this to me”

Appropriate interchangeable response…

Mentor: “It seems that you’re really annoyed because Dr. Jones failed to show for your advising appointment. Being the second time this has happened makes it even more irritating to you”.

This interchangeable response captures both the context and feelings expressed by the student and allows the student to continue to self explore the problem.

Congratulations! You have almost completed Module 2.

Now it’s time to take the quiz! Please click on the following link.

http://app.fluidsurveys.com/surveys/danielle-w/module-2-quiz/?TEST_DATA

If you cannot click on the link, please copy and paste the link into your browser.

References

McShane, S. (2000). Active listening skills self assessment. McGraw Hill. Retrieved from: http://www.mhhe.com/business/management/buildyourmanagementskills/updated_flash/topic13b/quiz.html

lifetofullest.com. (2011). 5 effective listening barriers. Retrieved from: http://lifetofullest.com/effective-listening-barriers/

mowgli=mentoring. 2009. Exploring empathy in mentoring. Retrieved from: http://mowgli.org.uk/913/exploring-empathy-in-mentoring.html”

Ender, S., Newton, F. (2000). Students helping students. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass Publishers.