MY TRAGIC LOVE STORY .

Everybody says he’s gone, he’s not going to come back then why do I find it so hard to accept the truth. Why can’t I forget him and his memories that still haunt my life? Why am I still waiting for some one who I know is not going to come however long may I wait for him? Why is it so difficult to forget the person whom we love? I don’t know the answers to these questions and I know nobody else can help me out to find the answers.

I met him when I was in my senior high school. It was my new school and my very first day. Being very shy and reserved by nature, I sat all alone and silent for the first half of the day. The thought of having new friends in a new school didn’t excite me much; in fact, I never had many friends due to my reserved nature. But then I met him. I was in the canteen eating my lunch when he came and sat beside me.

“So you are new?” he asked, taking French fries from my box.

“Yes.” I observed him eating my French fries with out my permission but didn’t dare to say a word to him about that.

“I am in your class. You know that?”

“Yes.”

“So liked our school?”

“Yes.” I replied.

“Do you know to speak any other word than yes?” he was frustrated.

“Yes.” I stammered and he broke into a huge laughter. Even I couldn’t help but smile.

“I am a prefect here. Any problems, you can ask me.” he showed me his prefect badge.

“Thanks.” I said, “I thought a new student don’t make much difference to any student these days. You proved me wrong.”

“Your vocabulary is not that bad. You really can talk. That’s news.” He left a small smile on my face.

I didn’t meet him for the next few days, however I saw him in the class, and I was too shy to approach him. I missed the chance of making my friend the only person in the whole school that seemed to have noticed a very shy girl who was new too. I spent my extra time in libraries reading books. Let me make it clear. I am not a very scholar sort of person. Reading books in the library only was my hobby to kill time rather than sitting alone and watching all the other groups having fun. Then one day our English teacher gave us some English projects and assigned partners to us too. Luckily he was my partner. But I still didn’t approach him to talk about the project work to him.

I sat in the library reading some reference books for the English project to ensure that I don’t feel sheepish when we talk about the project. He came to meet me there.

“Do you know who your project partner is?”

“Yes.” I replied but found he too gave the same reply with me.

“I knew your answer is going to be this. Know more than a little bit about you, you can say, right?”

“No, I cannot say so.”

“Good to hear NO from you. I thought you are the queen of all yes-men, oops, I mean, yes girls.”

“Did you think about the project areas where you think we should work on?” I ignored his last comment and asked like a much interested student.

“I think we should work on improving your communication skills and teaching you importance of fun and humor in life. What say?”

I gave him a disapproving look that he told me later was quite scary too.

“Okay fine. I’ve the whole plan.” For the next 15 minutes he told me what did he intend to do in this project. When he was finished, I was very sure my English teacher had assigned as my partner the most intelligent student of the class. His ideas and his study were both profound and classic. I was impressed by his deep thoughts.

And then we began the project. We would some time meet at his home, some time at mine and some time at places like libraries and even cafés. It was him who was responsible for the whole of the project as I was just a company to him when he did the project. I then understood why every student in the class was looking enviously at me when I got him as my partner. Who will not want A+ grade without working hard for the same???

“So how do you manage it?” he asked me when we were at my place working for the project.

“Manage what?” I had no idea what he was referring to.

“Manage living alone; manage a boring and unexciting and lonely life. Why don’t you make friends?”

“I do have a friend, don’t I?”

“Really? Who’s it?”

“Come on; we are friends, aren’t we?”

“That’s a nice way of offering friendship to someone. I am really impressed. And of course we are friends and will always be. What people say, friends forever, right?”

“Yes.” I replied and saw him hiding his smile from me. Every time, I used this word, I noticed a naughty smile on his face.

And so began our forever friendship. I don’t know how a shy girl like me became a good friend of the most intelligent and friendly person like him. But then I was least interested to know the reason. For the first time in life, I was enjoying my school life. Because of him, I came into contact with many other persons too who became my friends gradually but he was always a very special friend of me, my best friend. And I am sure I too was his best friend for he counted on me for everything and took me for granted.

I still remember the Valentine’s Day when he came to ask me if I knew anyone who would favor him by becoming his valentine for a day. I could not stop my laughter for of all; I knew if he wanted every girl of the school would be his valentine and he was searching for a one day valentine? He was such a freak but then fun too.

“How was your valentine’s day?” I had asked him the second day.

“Was out with Rosalina. You know her. She’s from your history class. It was a very bad experience. Don’t you dare to ask me about it or share it anyone?” he was probably in a very bad mood.

I didn’t ask anything for I knew he will himself confide me when he will feel okay and to share my best friend’s secret was not my kind of person. And my prediction did come true. He told me what actually happened at the date.

“Imagine she told me about her future plans about marrying me and if that isn’t enough she even named our children and that too on our first date out. I knew if I would stay a little more with her, she would plan out where I was supposed to spend my income and my business and my will and so on.”

“Chill; she’s not here now. Didn’t you get any one better than her? I mean everyone knows she’s a little too weird.” I controlled my laughter seeing the frustrated look on his face or else he would feel offended. The last thing on earth I wanted.

“Sweetheart, open your eyes, this is high schools last year. Nobody is free; everybody is seeing someone except you and me.” He said.

“Find some one then. That Einstein’s brain of yours isn’t only for getting good grades; get a good girl friend now. Get going.”

“Alliteration.” He said.

“What?” I didn’t catch him.

“You’ve used too many ‘G’ sound in the same sentence. The figure of speech is Alliteration.” He answered.

“Whatever.” I went home wondering how come he remembers everything taught in the class and I hardly 60% of them. He always beat me in the grades naturally.

He didn’t follow my sincere advice and didn’t find himself a good girl friend and kept wandering with me the whole

year. Then we went to college. My school result was a mile stone of achievement in the whole of my school life. Of course, he helped me out with my studies. And I did well too. However, he always said he helped me not because he wanted me to be with him in the college but because he can’t imagine of going to college without a stupid girl as he’s used to that thing.

With him, my college life was full of fun too. But now he became a sort of serious for his studies. I had never seen him such serious in the entire two years I knew him.

“Why are you so worried? Don’t bother so much about studies.” I told him one day in the college.

“You won’t understand. I need to get good results or my future is at stake. I will even advise you to study hard and be serious as you were when I first met you.”

“Of course I was serious then but not for studies. You know that.”

“Listen carefully. This is a very sincere advice from your best friend. Study hard.” He was really serious. It made me probe what’s bothering him to such an extent.

“Okay.” I surrendered.

His deep studies and involvements with his career options and future kept him busy for the whole of college years. Even I accompanied him in this serious job not because I wanted my future to be secure like him but I just didn’t want to leave my best friend alone who had given me company when I was alone.

He was proposed by some 6-7 girls during his college for he happened to be the most intelligent student of the college. But now I feel it was also because he was smart looking and affectionate by nature. He tried to make his relationship

with these girls work but his too much focus on the career and his total devotion to his career resulted in a break up with all of them. I had preferred to be alone because my society doesn’t allow such relationship.

During the times of his break up, I tried to be his strength; I won’t leave him alone, would inspire him that he deserves someone more better and so on. By then our friendship had gained considerable strength too. We could understand each other’s mood just by a simple hello on the call. Besides gaining this strength, our friendship has gained popularity too. And we came to know about this fact on the last day of the college.

It was our farewell. A huge party was thrown for that. We all were in the party having lots of fun. Different awards were presented in the party. The girl with whom he had recently broken up was with some other guy and to my surprise; they got the best couple of the evening award. The best dancer, the best dress, best hairstyle, best tie knot, best accessories of the evening and so on. Every time there was an announcement of some award, a huge applause rocked the party. And then came the surprise package.

“Friends, till now whatever awards were presented were for this evening, but now the next award is not just for one evening, one day, one week, one month or one year. It’s for the whole of college years.” The announcer announced in a very sweet voice.

“What award do you think it can be?” I asked him, “Longest love relationship with the same person?”

“Are you kidding? Have you ever seen any of them together for more than six months?” he replied. I shook my head.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the most outstanding friends of all times.” The announcer continued and to our surprise our names were taken loudly. It seemed

that only we two were surprised, everybody else was expecting our names. We were welcomed by a huge applause and were told to speak something about our friendship. He took the initiative like he always does.

“We are quite surprised that our names are announced. I mean, we all know we aren’t that good friends. The only thing that is great between us is that we keep advising each other the things that we don’t ourselves do, like I kept advising her to focus on studies but didn’t do that myself and she kept on telling me to find a good girlfriend but didn’t find herself a boyfriend. So sincerely I doubt if we actually deserve this award.” He was speaking. Everyone including me looked surprised for all expected a good speech.

“But then I think we are the best choice for we were always together, whatever our differences may be we never let them spoil our friendship. That is the beauty of our friendship and so I, I mean, we accept this award with all due respect and sincerity.” He concluded and a huge applause followed him.

“You really don’t think that we make the best friends possible?” I asked him when he came to drop me to my home.

“Did I say so?” he countered.

“Yes.” he replied with me again. I was fed up of his habit of replying yes with me every time as if he knew when I was going to use this word.

“I was kidding. We know, and that is what matters the most, that we are great friends. We don’t need any award to prove our relations, do we?”

I shook my head. Obviously he was right. Our friendship was above all proofs and doubts.

Our college got over and then we started towards our future. He got a job and admission in some management school. I had decided to just go for a job; further studies were not my cup of tea. As we went to different jobs, the frequency of our meetings became less and less. However we always made it sure that we remain together on weekends. The physical distance between us didn’t affect our friendship much for two reasons. First, our friendship had raised above all those necessities of meeting each other. And secondly, science has given us so many communications medium. Thanks to it.

I cannot remember of a single day when I opened my pc and didn’t find his email. Similarly, the first thing I did after rushing to work in the early morning was to mail him a good morning wish. We would mail each other so often that it seemed we are together like before. We would also talk and message each other on mobiles. I never felt that our lives had changed much after college.

Meanwhile in these 2 years, he got his management degree and was promoted to a higher position in the same company. Even my career life was settled. One day he came to meet me early in the morning.

“Good morning.” He said as I opened the door.

“Good morning. What are you doing here at this hour?” I asked him.

“Came to say good bye.”

“What? You got this time to joke and that too such a bad joke?” I frowned.

“You didn’t get me.”

“Explain then.” I sat in the living room.

“My company is sending me to Australia for a 3 months training and then I will be made the general manager of this branch. I am leaving after 4 hours.”

“When was this fixed?” I asked.

“Yesterday night. And I am not alone. Some colleagues are also going with me.” He answered.

“It was fixed yesterday night and you are telling me now.”

“I mailed you but you were not online. Secondly your cell is switched off. So obviously I couldn’t tell you.” He looked disheartened, “I thought you will be happy for me but you are-”

“I’m sorry. And congratulations. So will see you after 3 months.” I bid him good bye.

And he flew to Australia. We remained in contact as we did here for the first month. Then something strange started happening. His reply to mails lessened with the passage of time. I assured my self that it was just due to his training and such his company didn’t send him there to complete his training at the soonest.

But I couldn’t bring it to myself that he was forgetting me while he was there. For hours and hours, I would sit in front of my pc waiting for his mails. I sent him more than a dozen mails in some days just to hear from him, but I didn’t. I would even check that my cell is in order so that I don’t miss his call. But no call came and he didn’t take my call too.

Now I started feeling that he had definitely forgotten me. I couldn’t forget for even a moment that he had forgotten me. My work started showing my lack of interest and carelessness. My boss advised me to take a break from work to get back the efficiency.

I sat wondering why was I so stupid to think about him if he didn’t care for me. I wasn’t able to answer myself why can’t I refrain myself from thinking about him. And then I understood the reason. He was not only my best friend, he was my love. I was in love with him for almost more than 5 years and didn’t even realize that I love him. I couldn’t stop smiling at my innocence. I felt so sheepish it took me more than two and half months from the time he left to realize about my love for him.

Now I decided that the moment he came back, I would reveal my feelings for him; no matter what he says about me, I would tell him that I love him. For the next 15 days, I didn’t think that he forgot me, but I think of how much I love him.

And the day I had been waiting like anything arrived. He mailed me on the previous night that he will be coming tomorrow. I was so happy. The next day I got up early and got ready. That day was a damn special day for me. I was going to propose the man of my life. I went to the airport awaiting him. And finally I saw him.

“Hey, how are you?” he asked hugging me.

“Well I am fine.” Words didn’t come to me easily as I felt myself blushing when he hugged me though he often gave me a friendly hug. I took a deep breath and decided to tell him about my love for him.

“Actually I have a news for you.” I felt stupid as I had used the wrong word. News, I couldn’t think of becoming more stupid than this.

“Even I have some news for you.” He said and called a girl, “We are going out. I followed your advice, you see.”

I stood horrified for a moment not knowing what to say and what to do. He definitely followed my advice of finding himself a good girlfriend, but at that time when I realized my love for him.

“Hey aren’t you happy for me?” he asked.

The wonderful castle of my dreams, my love had just shattered in front of me and he was asking wasn’t I happy? I could give no reply to his question, so rather gave him a fake smile and nodded my head.

The whole way he kept talking about her, how they met, how they started liking each other and so on. It was as if I didn’t exist for him anymore. I didn’t hear a word he told about her, to be very frank. I couldn’t stand that she was where I dreamt to be and I believed I deserved him more than her. She was not there with him for so many years of his life as his support and his friend.

But I didn’t want to loose a true friend so I make up my mind to forget about these things and be his friend again without ever letting him know that I love him. And so we again began meeting each other and sending mails to each other. The only difference was that she was also there with us most of the times and I had also adjusted with her being there with us. She was his girlfriend, after all.

Time went on and our friendship stayed as it was but I couldn’t help myself loving him, nor could I forget that I love him and I was many a times worried she might notice it, she was very observant by nature.

Then one day my parents called me and I went to meet them. They lived in the country side and I drove about 3 hours to meet them. When I reached home, I found that my parents were thinking of getting me married for I was of age, they said. I didn’t want to get married to anyone else

for I was still very much in love with him. But finally I gave up and surrendered to their wishes.

The first thing I did after getting engaged to the candidate my parents want was to message him. I wrote “finally I beat you for the first time in my life. I am engaged and will be married before you are.” After waiting for about an hour, I got his message congratulating me and apologizing to me for he was with her, so didn’t see my message.

I was so full of grief that he didn’t even have the time now to see my message or take my call. I broke off and for the first time in the last month after I found out, he’s with some other girl, I cried. My tears will wipe off the pain in my heart, I had thought but it didn’t happen so.

The next day I got a message that said that he had an accident. I felt the sky crushing me. I immediately took out my car and drove straight to him. After an eternity, I was in the hospital that his girl friend had messaged me. I found his parents, his friends and his girl friend all in a much tensed mood. I was told that the accident was quite serious.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” his girl friend asked me.

I simply nodded and followed her.

“He loves you.” She told me.

“What?” I couldn’t believe my ears.

“Yes, he loves you like anything.”

“But he was with you.”

“Only to see if you love him or not. He just wanted to check that you also love him so that he can tell you about his love for you but he found that you considered him just a friend. So he decided to remain silent about his unending love and

go on with your friendship. He didn’t want to loose your friendship. We kept acting like a couple just in front of you so that you don’t force him into finding some other girlfriend if you didn’t find us together.”

I couldn’t decide whether to feel happy that he also loved me or sad that he is in a serious state.

“Then yesterday he got your message saying about your marriage. He was devastated. The whole night he cried and cried. In the morning, he was going to his job but his total attention was on you and in that disappointment and worry, he drove off straight into a truck. He had serious head injuries and is presently operated by a neurosurgeon.”

She went away and I stood frozen like ice. I blamed myself for sending the message to him and for not admitting my love to him. After about 20 minutes, a nurse came and said that he was in a terrible state and nothing can save him now. She also said that he was now conscious and wanted to meet me. I went in the operation theatre for meeting him. Perhaps this was my last chance to tell him how much I love him.

“Hey are you okay?” I sat near him.

He didn’t say anything but I saw he managed a very difficult smile on his face. I just kept looking into his eyes and I saw immense love in them for me. I wondered why I couldn’t notice it earlier.

“You were crying, isn’t it?” he spoke in a very low voice.

“Yes.” I put my ears close to his mouth so as to hear him.

“I want to say something.”

“Yes.” on hearing this reply from me, he again gave a very small smile.

“I love you. I’ve always. Do you love me too?” he said this sentence in a hurry. I knew he was just trying to make sure that he admits his feelings for me before he dies.

“Yes.” and he replied with me too.

“You knew my reply?”

“I can feel it in your eyes. I always imagined you answering this in reply to my proposal.”

“That’s why you always smiled listening yes from me?” I asked.

“Yes” and we both broke into a small laughter.

“I too love you and will always love you no matter where you will be, you will always be there in my heart.” I said and kissed him on his lips. He kissed me back. That was the moment where I was the happiest in the whole of my life. For a moment I forgot what the nurse had told me out in the passage.

Suddenly I didn’t feel his breath. I found out that he was dead and with him, the desire to live died in me too.

Today everybody advise me to move ahead, leave him and his memories behind because he is dead. But I know he isn’t, he is still very much alive in me. I can still feel the warmth of his love when the sun shines on me, I can still feel his touch on my cheeks when the winds blow, I can still see him smiling at me in all the stars at night. I can still feel him embracing me at nights when I put the blanket on me and I can hear him answering YES every time I ask him “Do you love me?” Then how can people believe that I can forget him and live my life. He was my life, my true and eternal love, my best friend and everything good that life ever gave me.