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Love, Divorce and Starting Over THE SPIRIT OF A QUEEN Kareem Nelson Hull with Miss Cayman Islands- Lindsay Japal Spring Fashion www.ewomanmagazine.com NEW BEGINNINGS January/Feburary 2013 Great things to do in 2013 Standing by Your Man

New Beginnings 2013

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For the enchanting, exuberant, enterprising, extraordinary, empowered Caribbean woman.

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Page 1: New Beginnings 2013

Love, Divorceand Starting Over

the spirit of a queenKareem Nelson Hull with Miss Cayman Islands- Lindsay Japal

Spring Fashion

www.ewomanmagazine.com

new begin

nings

January/Feburary 2013

Great things to do in 2013

Standing by Your Man

Page 2: New Beginnings 2013
Page 3: New Beginnings 2013

at P e t e r I s l a n d R e s o rt

Peter Island Resort’s Spa is recognized annually for being one of Conde Nast Travelers top Caribbean spas. Come experience the  ultimate pampering during the month of February with this romantic couples treatment. 

Our Luxurious Spa suites, located within the spa features private verandah patios, large deep plunge hydrotherapy tubs for two, Swiss shower and private restrooms.

Designed for couples seeking highly intimate surroundings, these suites are ideal for enjoying a series of treatments and an opportunity to relax in an uninterrupted atmosphere.

F O r I N F O r m aT I O N C a L L :

495-2000

Valentine’s Romance

• Romantic Couples Treatment• Couples Lemon Body scrub - 30mins• Couples Side by Side Massage

- 50mins• A glass of champagne & chocolate

covered strawberries • Cost: $414 (a savings of $100)

Page 4: New Beginnings 2013

2 e woman magazine

34The Spirit of A Queen

Only a Father’S lOve Chris Pennerman brings a new perpective to single parenting

12

A Symphony of StyleNewYork Fashion week.

47

18Standing By your man!Behind every successful man stands a great woman.

FriSkyFOOds53

Some frisky foods are more commonly known as aphrodisiacs.

One Day in Lima City OF Hidden Magic

58

A blend of magical realism mixed with politics, mystery and humor.

Miss Cayman Islands, Lindsay Japal

For the enchanting, exuberant, enterprising, extraordinary,

empowered Caribbean woman.Woman

Page 5: New Beginnings 2013

e woman magazine 3

d e P A r t M e N t S

From Portia 10e-power your life 25e-bazaar 39

e-life 55Social Happenings 62

I N S I d e t H I S I S S u e :

5 Starting all over again … can be Great!

26 new BeginningS Have the type of year that will showcase your skills, talent, resilience and grace in ways you never thought possible.

29 DepreSSion dealing with a deep, dark Caribbean secret.

31 UnDerStanDing emotional intelligience using emotional intelligence skills will enhance the assets of any leader.

33 girl on Fire Becoming a healthier, sexier, happier you.

43 who rUn the worlD? After many years of male dominated leadership and struggle in the region, will women make better leaders in times such as these?

54 YoU can live again! Ayana Hull’s story on love, marriage and starting over.

Page 6: New Beginnings 2013

CEO & Editorial DirectorPortia Harrigan

Copy EditorSteven Goodman

Writers

Photographers

Barbados Katerina Diaz

BahamasBarry Williams

BVI Norman Allen

Philomena Robertson

Art Direction & ProductionAdriana Naylor

Fashion EditorTerry Donovan

Books Editor (Guest) Gina Morley

Social Media & Communications Manager

Maria Franco

Web EditorMaria Franco

This Magazine is published 6 times a year. The entire contents of this Magazine is copyrighted and may not be reproduced without the expressed written consent of the publisher. We reserve the right to edit, rewrite, or refuse material and we are not responsible for products that appear in this publication. © ewoman magazine 2013

WomanIntroducing the scent of St. Croix, US Virgin Islands…Crucian Spice Earthy and exotic, this rich blend of Cloves, Nutmeg, Black Pepper and faraway floral will take you back to the yesteryear of St. Croix when life was simple and you lived on what Mother Earth gave you.

Experience the best in natural skin care,

all manufactured on St. Croix,

US Virgin Islands.www.itibabeauty.com

Fol low us: www.facebook.com/it ibabeauty

Page 7: New Beginnings 2013

was 15 and had no clue -- just out of high school, what could I possibly know about architecture, planning and the world of work? But the Chief town Planner at the time, decided to take a chance on me and I started my first job as a trainee draughtsman.

that started my public service career and the next twenty-something years was an experience of a lifetime. I am convinced that the kind of opportunities I had working with the Government of the Virgin Islands would not have been possible anywhere else. As a public officer, I interacted with some amazing people and got the opportunity to influence government policy. I would even like to think that some-where along the line, I might have helped someone and made a difference. But then, in what seemed like an unexpected turn of events, I decided to ‘hang it all up’ and retire.

the reaction to my decision was not surprising. Some people thought I was joking and that I was simply too driven to ‘stop working’. Some referred to the economy and pointed out that this might not be the best time for such a move. everyone else simply said, “You’re too young to retire.”

So what made me do it? My reasons to leave a career I love had nothing to do with the economy or my age or worries about whether I would get bored if I slowed down. I am the kind of person who gives more than 100% to whatever I do. So it’s no surprise that somewhere between board meetings and kindergarten parties, I began to wonder if there was enough of me to go around. I eventually began to question if my priorities were in the right order.

I could very well let fear hold me back but somehow I have never been that way. Looking back I can see that I’ve spent a lot of my life going against the grain. As a student in High School, I remember being a part of the first cohort of girls who were allowed to sign up for the technical drawing class. up until that point it was the boys only club. that experience set me on a path that not only determined my

career choice but gave me the confidence to find my way in unchartered waters.

What also comes to mind was the period when I re-turned home from graduate school several years later. I had become a Christian while living in New York and longed for the kind of fellowship I found there. So in another unconventional move, I began a weekly com-mute from tortola to St. thomas for church. this baf-fled my mother to no end, but it was there that I met the man of my dreams, once again confirming that God has great plans for me no matter how convoluted my path might seem.

Perhaps it is those past experiences that give me the courage to switch gears at this point in my life. It was by no means an easy decision, but I prayed and fasted. And fasted and prayed. As a result I feel com-pletely blessed to have the opportunity to retire at this young age and be able to better manage my priorities – God, husband, family and then the rest. And be-cause my priorities are in that order, I am extremely grateful that I have the support of my husband and family. their encouragement has been the extra push that I needed to confidently close this chapter of my life and start another. God has an amazing journey mapped out for me and I can’t wait to get started. ❀

Marva A. titley-Smith, CMgr FCMI

e woman magazine 5

Starting all over again can begreat!i

Page 8: New Beginnings 2013

Contributors Linda Merrit (Bermuda)

Ayana Hull (British Virgin Islands) Kareem Nelson Hull (Cayman Islands)

Cherylee Pinder (Bahamas) Ian Strachan (Bahamas)

Dr. Shakima Vanterpool (British Virgin Islands)Judy Haycraft-British (Virgin Islands)

Advertising SalesPortia Davis-Harrigan

Email:[email protected]

Mindy Jordan (St. Lucia) Tel:758 451 2662/758 721 2662 • email:[email protected]

Published by Oyster Publications Inc

Chairman Russell Harrigan

General enquiries to [email protected]

Registered OfficesP.O. Box SB50961 | Nassau | N.P. | Bahamas

P.O. Box 3369 | Road Town | Tortola | British Virgin Islands

P.O. Box 6347 | St. Thomas | United States Virgin Islands

www.ewomanmagazine.com Bahamas | British Virgin Islands | Cayman Islands | Barbados

| St. Lucia | United States Virgin Islands

Page 9: New Beginnings 2013

“Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down.” —Charles F. Kettering

e woman magazine 7

Page 10: New Beginnings 2013

hen I launched eWoman Magazine in November of 2011, it was out of one of my urges to do something

new again. the idea sort of popped into my head while sitting at the dining table and I felt I needed to “just do it”, I needed to make it happen right away.

I did some research and knew that there was a void to be filled, but quite frankly, I did not spend enough time in planning and development. Furthermore, I was already doing a million and one things and really needed to step back a bit and take it slow. It was not until I was several issues in that I realized that I had to take a break, do some house cleaning, spend time developing a truly dedicated and equally passionate team, surrounding my-self with people who understand the mission. By the time this realization set in though, I’d already ventured down a dark and lonely road. I’d messed up a bit, I was not getting the support I needed and my journey to the land of my birth had turned out not quite as I had expected.

I had gotten some pretty hard knocks and had become quite dis-couraged. But, that all seemed so small compared to so many of my friends dealing with health challenges, divorce and the loss of loved ones. My issues paled in comparison and furthermore, my pain was self inflicted.

And, so I took some time out and decided that I would print one last issue. One of the first comments I read on one of the BVIs news sites about the first issue was, “seems like an Oprah wannabe”. Initially, I was rather disturbed by that comment, but I’ve really come to embrace that idea, because Oprah is not a bad person to wannabe. But, seriously, eWoman has been all about empowering, enlightening and educating the Caribbean woman to be the best woman she can be. It’s been about shining the light on the great and beautiful women who call the Caribbean home. It’s about creating for Caribbean women that which very few think we deserve. Our own special, positive, creative, beautiful engine of information and connectivity.

this issue is all about new beginnings. It’s about rediscovery, joy and hope and inspiration!

eJoy and Happy New Year eWomen! Let’s Go out and make 2013 happen! ❀

eJoy and Happy New Year eWomen!

Let’s Go out and make 2013 happen!

8 eWoman magazine

F r o m p o r t i aWhen I launched eWoman Magazine in November

of 2011, it was out of one of my urges to do something

new again. The idea sort of popped into my head while

sitting at the dining table and I felt I needed to “just

do it”, I needed to make it happen right away.

W

Page 11: New Beginnings 2013

Live | On Line | In Print

ewoman magazine… for the discerning Caribbean Woman!

For the enchanting, exuberant, enterprising, extraordinary, empowered Caribbean woman.

e woman magazine 1

November/ December 2011

For the enchanting, exuberant,

enterprising, extraordinary,

empowered Caribbean woman.

A Woman’s WorthFirst lady of the United States Virgin Islands,

Cecile de Jongh on Having it all, Hillary Clinton

and Women running the world.

Yes we are beautiful

Shades of black

e-power your life!

Christmas around

the Caribbean

Yes we are beautiful

Shades of black

e-power your life!

Christmas around

the Caribbean

January/February 2012

Volume 1/Issue 2

For the enchanting, exuberant,

enterprising, extraordinary,

empowered Caribbean woman.

Tanya McCartneyon Work, Love and Giving Back

www.ewomanmagazine.com

Caribbean Women

Breaking Barriers

COMPLIMENTARY ISSUE

Spring Fashion

eWoman Goes To New York

Fabulousand the

Christian Woman

SEX

RBC/FiNCo’s

The P

assion

PurPo

se is

sue

&

March/April2012 Volume 1/Issue3

COMPLIMENTARY ISSUE

The power of us

One On One with SOca Queen aliSOn hindS

on her music, her life and her passion

Dressing for SucceSSToo successful for Love Is your career keeping you from finding Mr. Right?

The eLiSTProfiling 10 of the Caribbean’s most Powerful Women

dame marguerite PindlingOne of the Caribbean’s Magnificent Six’s First Ladies

Exclusive

One On One with SOca Queen aliSOn hindS

Exclusive

For the enchanting, exuberant, enterprising, extraordinary, empowered Caribbean woman.

COMPLIMENTARY ISSUE

www.ewomanmagazine.com

sweetness o

f summer

June/July 2012Volume 1/Issue 4

Variations of brilliance: The story of women bound by a common purpose

So, whydid I get married?

A CaribbeanWedding Story

Women who inspired us – One woman’s journey with Lupus.

Swimsuitsfor every day of the week.

British Virgin Islands

Summer in the

Follow @eWomanMag

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For details and updates visit us at www.ewomanmagazine.com

Page 12: New Beginnings 2013
Page 13: New Beginnings 2013

eCamps BVI Goes to Europe

30 Children … One Life Changing experience. July 13th-27th, 2013.

Follow us on Facebook eCampsBvi

For more information email: [email protected] or call 284.494.8011

Page 14: New Beginnings 2013

12 e woman magazine

Page 15: New Beginnings 2013

e woman magazine 13

Single parent homes are a common scenario of Caribbean family structures and the words ‘single parent’ have almost become synony-mous with the plight of the single female raising children on her own. We certainly see and hear less of the single male parent, but they are there. However, their narratives often go untold.

“there are a lot of single fathers taking care of their families,” Chris Pennerman Sr. be-lieves. the 55 years old single father of two boys knows that much emphasis is placed on single mothers, but he surmises that single fathers have their challenges too.

“their mom left me in charge,” says Chris, a police reservist of twenty five years. His wife Janina passed over a year ago from a lung condition called bronchiectasis.

Only a Father’s Love

the shrewd and well-spoken Chris never imagined that when he married his wife, he would end up caring for two sons by himself. “I never thought that I would be a single fa-ther,” he says with an even tenor. But the experience has brought him closer to his two sons, Christopher Jr. 16, and Christoph 12.

It has been a rough journey for the trio of males. the family still grieves the passing of a mother they all agree was very giving and well-liked by everyone.

But since then Chris has come to appreciate the role of the mother in the home through his own experiences raising his two boys. “I understand why the master [God] ordained a mother and a father” says the devout Seventh day Adventist.

Chris Pennerman brings a new perspective to single parenting

Page 16: New Beginnings 2013

14 e woman magazine

this understanding is born out of his new checklist of responsibilities: Wake sons, fix breakfast, ensure they are clean, school drop off, get to work on time, school pick up at 3pm, ensure homework is done, fix dinner most days, and fit in personal father and son time as well. “Its a big adjustment. there are times I found myself getting to bed at 1am or 2am,” says the new Mr. Mom of his household. “Before, when I got home there would always be someone else there. Now there is no one. All of the things a mother would take care of in the home are now my responsibility,” adds Chris.

Although there are moments when the family feels the world is folding in on them, there is no mistaking that his sons are the most important of anything in the world to him. Chris adjusts his glasses and glances at his two boys occasionally as he shares one expe-rience .“One of my most difficult routines is going to sleep in our room” says Chris. He has only slept in the bed they shared a handful of times admitting that it is a most difficult thing to do.

Chris speaks of some other hardships, but with much fortitude. the ultimate honor of his wife’s memory is ensuring the two little men in his life are well taken care of under his watch. “their mom has done good things. One of her greatest joys was looking after us. As a father I feel it is my duty to continue along that same line,” he says reflectively.

Chris concludes that there is no manual for his new role. But on second thought changes his mind and concurs that there might be books written for single parents “although I haven’t read any of them,” he says laughing-ly. “As a father I don’t know everything. I didn’t know what it was to be a father until I became a single parent. I just do what I have to do” he says.

despite any self-doubt of his own role, his sons think their dad is doing a fine job. Both of them consider their dad a hero. Chris Jr who attends private school and wants to be a gen-eral surgeon says, “My dad is friendly with people and teaches me the value of getting along with other people.” Christoph, the younger and more vocal of the two sons likes hanging out with a favorite cousin and wants to be a photographer. He describes his dad as

“a great defender” and throws in that his c amera is no longer working with a friendly pat on his dad’s shoulder.

When asked if he would like to change his status as a single father in the future, Chris seems a little uneasy with the question, but speaks in jest about a broken crystal ball in re-lation to that idea. He eventually commits an answer, saying “I don’t see myself marrying anytime soon. Not saying it won’t happen, but my kids are what I’m concentrating on right now.”

Chris’ story is one type of single father narrative. But not all single fathers have had the tragedy of dealing with the passing of a spouse. For instance, more men have turned to the courts to seek legal custody of their chil-dren and for a myriad of reasons. “We’re pre-sent in court for these cases so we have a birds eye view of this changing trend with single fathers” says regieta Minns, Chief Welfare Of-ficer and 23 years veteran with the Depart-ment of Social Services. She explains that her department provides reports for these men to take to court.

Currently, no statistical data exists for the Bahamas to show what percentage of family structures is made up of single fathers. But a future national census might include this in-formation. “No one has done a study on it,” says Kim Saunders, Assistant Supervisor of the Census department of the department of Statistics. But she feels as well that there are many single fathers in the Bahamas- and the region, and adds, “there has to be additional studies to compliment what we already have so that we have a better idea of how children are being cared for in our society.” Such studies could also help to provide single fa-thers with equal recognition and support as a type of family unit in society.

even if numbers leave us clueless to the scope of the situation, there are other indicators to suggest the idea of a growing populous of sin-gle men caring for children. “We’re not very far from what happens in the wider Caribbean and in America,” Minns offers, suggesting that single father statistics from these countries could correlate with the situation here to fathers of all socioeconomic backgrounds. ❀

“As a father

I don’t know

everything. I

didn’t know

what it was to

be a father until

I became a

single parent.

I just do what

I have to do”

Page 17: New Beginnings 2013

M o n t h o f F e b r u a r y at

tradewinds restaurant

available mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays, throughout the month of February. Special pricing on Thursday, February 14th.

Tradewinds February Romance Dinner$120  plus 18% service tax per couple3-course dinner for two plus a bottle of wine Menu will include such signature dishes as: appetizerHome mango Smoked Wahoo,  Chipolata Vinaigrette Entréemiso marinated Black Cod with Wasabi Potato Puree, Lemon grass Sugar Snap PeasDessert From Chef’s Garden Lavender Crème BrûléeLemon SorbetValentines night is open to the public, $175 per couple, normally a 4 course menu

with offerings of Lobster, Oysters,  lots of local items, rabbit, etc.

Valentine’s

F O r I N F O r m aT I O N C a L L :

495-2000

Page 18: New Beginnings 2013

Learn to sail a bo

at.

Travel to a new co

untry

Change your hairst

yle

Laugh more

Give more

16 e woman magazine

Page 19: New Beginnings 2013

Learn to sail a bo

at.

Travel to a new co

untry

Change your hairst

yle

Laugh more

Give more

eHAPPENINGSJanuary 192013 Bahamas Marathon Race WeekendBAHAMAS

2013 Every FridayFish Fry atANCHOR BAY, BAHAMAS

January 17-21Naniki Caribbean Jazz Safari BARBAdOS

January 28-30Trinidad & Tobago Energy Conference 2013TRINIdAd & TOBAgO

January 21The Mount gay Rum Round Barbados Race 2013 BARBAdOS

February 16-18Agrifest 2013: 42nd. AnnualAgriculture & Food Fair ST. CROIx

January 25-29grenada Sailing Festival 2013 gRENAdA

January 27 Bomba’s Full Moon Party - Bomba’s Surfside Shack, CAPOON BAY, TORTOLA.

February 21-24South grenada Regatta 2013gRENAdA

experience the beneficial qualities of 100% Pure Shea, mango, Coco, Olive and Sweet Almond Butters.  rejuvenate with Bahamian Sea Salt, honey, Brown Sugar, Aloe Vera Juice, Strawberry, Guava  & Pineapple extracts. Luxuriate in macadamia, Grapeseed, Coconut, avocado, Grapeseed and argan Oils. Spa Smitten –a complete line of natural Body, Massage & Hair care products.Handmade in the Bahamas, available to the world.

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Page 20: New Beginnings 2013

Standing by Your Man!

18 e woman magazine

By Philomena roBertSon

Three women, different in background and approach, but of common purpose.

Page 21: New Beginnings 2013

here is much truth in the saying be-hind every successful man stands a great woman. If asked to identify women who have made a significant

impact by supporting their successful hus-bands, we might immediately think of Michelle Obama, wife of u.S. President Barack Obama. We are less likely to look within our very own societies to identify such women. though they do not routinely ap-pear on television or even stand out in a crowd, eWoman has identified three women in the British Virgin Islands who fully em-body that saying. In fact, Mrs. Jean Vanter-pool, Mrs. Alice Pickering and Mrs. Monique donovan-Neita are giving new meaning to this saying, because not only have they stood by their husbands, they have worked tirelessly over the years to help their spouses build suc-cessful medical and dental practices.

Whether they helped start the business or took on the responsibility of running an es-tablished practice, all three women have one thing in common - They have fulfilled multi-ple roles from office cleaner to manager, bal-ancing that with raising their families. A commendable feat given the demanding na-ture of the practices, but not one for which they seek any adulation. they have done it out of a genuine love for their spouses and families and a commitment to providing the best possible service to clients.

Mrs. JEan VantErpool: thE MatronMrs. Jean Vanterpool has been involved in eureka Medical Clinic from its inception in 1985, when it was known simply as dr. Van-terpool’s office. The business is the brainchild of her husband dr. Heskith Vanterpool, an Internist, Gastroenterologist and more re-cently a Non-invasive Cardiologist. While he is tending to the medical needs of his patients and brainstorming new healthcare options, Mrs. Vanterpool is no less busy tending to every element required to operate a success-ful business. From the outset, she was “the receptionist, nurse, secretary, cleaner, labora-

e woman magazine 19

t

Mrs. Jean Vanterpool

tory assistant and whatever else was neces-sary.” A registered Nurse by profession, Mrs. Vanterpool asserted that she would “grab a mop if necessary to clean the floor,” a trait she said still remains today even though the business has grown substantially. the expansion has been a gradual process and Mrs. Vanterpool is grateful to have been able to grow with it. “I have not done any for-mal management training; it was just on-the-job for me because with three young children,

I could not take away any more time from them for professional advancement,” she ad-mitted. She has relied on extensive reading, general observation of best practices and the advice of others.

Initially, her involvement in the practice allowed her the flexibility to give primary at-tention to the needs of the couple’s children, who at the time were seven, three and four months. “the early days were challenging,

Page 22: New Beginnings 2013

20 e woman magazine

Mrs. Alice M. Pickering

chauffeuring the children to and from extra-curricular activities,” she reflected, but as the children grew older and more independent, she became more involved in the business. From the minute two-person office she super-vised, Mrs. Vanterpool now manages the big-gest private medical practice in the BVI, which has a staff complement of more than 30 persons. “It is not humanly possible to do everything yourself. We have been fortunate

to have some good people in place which makes it a little less overwhelming for me and more manageable for us as owners.”

In addition to the expansion of the medical practice, the Vanterpools along with business partners established Medicure in 1989, offer-ing pharmaceutical and laboratory services. Her management duties have taken on a new dimension as the couple recently acquired Bougainvillea Clinic. “It is primarily a surgical

centre. that’s another level of health care that comes with its own unique set of challenges yet great satisfaction that we can now provide this service to the community,” she explained.

the couple celebrated 36 years of marriage last June. “Working with him has been good,” she said, adding “the positive outweighs the negative for us; still I don’t think we would want to be in each other’s faces all day.” Giving more insight to their working and spousal relationships, Mrs. Vanterpool said support and respect for each other are of par-amount importance. “My husband is the visionary, the one who goes out, gets an idea and runs with it and in his words, I come be-hind putting the nuts and bolts in place, but it’s a partnership.”

Outside of the business, there are early morning walks and Friday night dates. “We enjoy each other’s company. On our walks we have varied conversations, whether it’s about the businesses, current events in the BVI, global developments or our now adult children and granddaughter. Sometimes I even get lessons in medicine as well,” she said with a chuckle. Though long office hours and various obligations mean they spend less time together on a daily basis, Mrs. Vanter-pool travels frequently with her husband. “When he goes to medical conferences he usually likes me to travel with him and that’s admirable. I certainly appreciate him for that.” As rotarians, they also travel together to conventions as part of that civic group, al-lowing them to experience new places as a couple. disagreements are an inevitable part of any relationship. On that issue, Mrs. Van-terpool said it’s important to deal with mat-ters as they arise but at the appropriate time and place and not allow them to fester. “I’m always mindful to guard my husband’s in-tegrity in public and if there are differences, we deal with them in private.”

the Vanterpools are active members of New Life Baptist Church. Strong in her faith, Mrs. Vanterpool said “as a Christian, faith is very important. You ask God for guidance as you

Page 23: New Beginnings 2013

The paths of these women may be diverse, their challenges numerous, but there is commonality in the loving support they have all provided for

their spouses, bringing to mind the song “Stand by your Man”.

e woman magazine 21

make decisions, that He will help you to put all the pieces in place. We are grateful for our dedicated employees who help to make the vision a reality but ultimately it is through God’s guidance that it all comes to fruition. Looking ahead, Mrs. Vanterpool desires a schedule that is a little less hectic and offers more flexibility to pursue things like visits with her only grand-daughter; “there’s only one grand right now but I’m sure there will be more,” she said wistfully, her expression clearly indicating that she’s prepared to switch full-time medical practice manage-ment to be a doting grandmother.

Mrs. alicE M. pickEring: thE carE-giVEr Married to dr. the Honourable Kedrick Pickering, the deputy Premier in the British Virgin Islands, Mrs. Alice M. Pickering has been involved in her husband’s medical practice, Picsmith Medical Services Ltd., for 12 years. However, it is not the first time she has worked with him. While they were dating in Jamaica, they worked at the same hospital, oftentimes on the same ward. “I enjoy working with him. I’ve worked with him not just in this setting but in a clinical setting as well. He’s very good at what he does and I admire that about him.”

recalling her initial involvement in the business, Mrs. Pickering said a friend of hers from Peebles Hospital often comments “Nurse Pickering went on maternity leave and never came back on duty.” deciding to give more time to her youngsters who were four and one at the time, Mrs. Pickering began spending half days at the office a few times weekly, however, as the

youngsters grew older, she began spending more time at the office. “I am the head cook and bottle washer,” Mrs. Pickering said heartily. “I do just about everything – I see the clients, manage the office, make appointments, do triage and checks. I do whatever is needed in terms of administration and patient care. I clean if I need to, I paint if I have to. My husband comes to the office, sees the patients, but he doesn’t know how it operates, that’s my role.”

Questioned about what motivates her, Mrs. Pickering said “I enjoy it. I thoroughly enjoy the interaction with clients both young and old and I enjoy patient education.” though she has implemented changes that became necessary as the business evolved, Mrs. Pickering works to maintain the atmosphere of the practice she described as being small and oriented more towards patient care than profit. “We strive for excellent patient care which is sometimes to the detriment of the bottom-line. That might not be the best business practice but that’s how we operate.”Genuine compassion will undoubt-edly be her legacy. “I enjoy putting the per-sonal touch to health care. I know my clients, I know their names, I know their kids. I don’t like the impersonal nature of coming to an of-fice where you are just another client.”

A woman with a quiet but firm disposition, Mrs. Pickering is quite adamant about keep-ing work and home separate. though she ad-mits to taking work home in the past and be-ing up late after the children have gone to bed, she said the dynamics have changed and she now stays at the office as long as after-

school activities would permit. “I don’t take work home anymore,” she said, adding with emphasis “not at all. Believe me it’s a lot of work but I spend the time at the office, some-times I come in on the weekends. When I get home I pay attention to homework and projects for the kids and my husband. there is a clear separation of home and work.” Working with a spouse has its pros and cons and the Pickerings have certainly ensured that the pros outweigh the cons. “We have a good relationship. We don’t bring the work business home or the house business to work. We’ve established that.”

Married for 19 years, Mrs. Pickering does not disclose to clients that she’s the wife of the doctor. “We see it as a work environment. I don’t refer to him by his first name, I say dr. Pickering. Interestingly enough, clients would come to the office and not know that I’m his wife. When they find out, it’s always a sur-prise because we don’t give any clues. It’s a work environment so we just work,” she commented.

What does the future hold? While she has placed it all in the hands of the Lord, Mrs. Pickering would like to see people remain confident in the services that they offer. She has not been as involved with the diabetes and cancer associations as she was previous-ly but those are things she enjoys. She might even consider returning to work at the hospi-tal if her services are needed but not until her youngsters are much older. For the immedi-ate future, she envisions herself at the office, delivering personalised patient care and

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22 e woman magazine

Mrs. Monique Donovan-Neita

being able to attend to her husband and children. “they are my primary focus,” she concluded with a contented smile.

Mrs. MoniquE DonoVan-nEita: thE proJEct ManagErMs. Monique donovan-Neita was standing side by side with her husband, Dr. Garfield Neita when they opened Premier dental in 2002 after relocating to the BVI. For Ms. donovan-Neita, it wasn’t merely an act of support, she is personally vested in the busi-ness. “This wasn’t just Dr. Neita’s office, it was our business, a 50-50 partnership. He’s

my husband and I want to see him succeed; he’s awesome at what he does. It was about supporting him and his dreams and also pro-viding a way of life for the family.” With 16 years involvement in health care administra-tion, first at a dermatology clinic in New York and then at an internal medicine practice in Atlanta, Ms. donovan-Neita embraced the role of managing the family’s dental practice. “dentistry was new to me, I hadn’t worked in dental care, I worked in medicine but of course there are parallels. I was doing every-thing for one month, then we hired someone and it became a three-person office.” From

those humble beginnings on Main Street where the space grew increasingly cramped as the years progressed, Premier dental is now located in very spacious digs at Skelton Bay Lot Warehouse Complex.

the project manager behind the move was none other than Ms. donovan-Neita. After her husband identified the space in 2009, she was tasked with the job of transforming the empty warehouse. “He had the vision of what he wanted but I had to conceptualise how to make it happen. Putting it all togeth-er, getting it all done, down to picking out the

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paint colours, tiles and wood, dealing with architects, the contractors, the workers, that was all tasked to me.” She holds Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees in Biology and Chemis-try but that in no way prepared her for the task. Coordinating the move required that she step out of her comfort zone. “I like chal-lenges and I rose to this one and got it done. It was a hair-raising experience but I feel a huge sense of accomplishment.” An accom-plishment indeed, because for the better part of a year, she had to juggle taking care of the needs of the practice at its former location, pre-paring the new location and being a wife to her husband and mother to two children, ages 13 and 8. “thank God for my mom, I really couldn’t do what I do, to the level that I do it, without her support,” she said clasping her hands appreciatively and looking skyward.

the phenomenal accomplishment has left Ms. donovan-Neita feeling reinvigorated. When they first established the practice 10 years ago, she envisioned her own involve-ment being limited to a few years, getting the business set up, then hiring someone to take her place, allowing her to return to her field. Now that the business is fully ensconced in its new setting, Ms. Donovan-Neita thinks she could soon begin to look at moving into a new phase of her career, once she is confident that the office would be fully functional with-out her being there on a fulltime basis. de-spite this passion to spread her wings profes-sionally once more, Ms. donovan-Neita said the biggest challenge will be finding someone who will have that “same sense of ownership and compassion for the patients and han-dling the private matters of the practice. excellent customer service is our hallmark and I want that to continue.”

Working with her husband, seeing him in a professional light, has been an interesting experience. “It is educational to see him at his craft, expertly practicing his skills daily and seeing satisfied customers but honestly looking at the pros and cons, in my next life, I wouldn’t do it again. Given the same set of

circumstances, it would have to be structured differently.”

For Ms. donovan-Neita, separating the business and home is sometimes difficult. “dr. Neita has a rule that once he gets home he needs to decompress because the practice is so encompassing but for me, it’s hard to keep it separate. If there are issues with the office, I still have to deal with them, my shut off button is in need of repair. I might be lying in bed thinking about scheduling, financing, etc.” Has it affected her spousal relationship? “Given my particularly female sensitivities it has been a learning process to disagree with the boss at work, then put it in perspective and go home with your husband” she said with a smile.

With a teenage daughter and an eight year old son, Ms. donovan-Neita juggles another difficult balancing act. “I work late trying to do all the paperwork and balancing these multiple roles. We try to explain to our children that we are doing this for them but I still question, where is the balance? You feel guilty because you’re robbing them of certain experi-ences. Will they remember the latest electronic toy they got or will they remember that mommy was not home to eat dinner with them?”

“I think as women, we like to think we are smart, educated and can do it all, but something

suffers somewhere.”

With her personal growth and evolution has come the realisation that she just cannot do everything. “I think as women, we like to think we are smart, educated and can do it all, but something suffers somewhere, you can’t do it all and do it 100 percent; some roles will suffer and you can lose part of yourself in the process.”

As she pondered the future, Ms. donovan-Neita said “I want to spend some time with my children before they are not children any more. As for the business, it’s been 10 years, it has evolved and the need for me to be there 100 percent is not as great now as it was before. I can step out and take a look at my options, whether it’s making a contribution to the public health care system or doing customer service consultancy.”

the journey is obviously fraught with challenges, some even seemingly insur-mountable, but there is an underlying sense of commitment that is very evident. there is satisfaction in getting the job done and having satisfied clients.

the paths of these women may be diverse, their challenges numerous but there is com-monality in the loving support they have all provided for their spouses, bringing to mind the song Stand by your Man. ❀

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we workyou play

www.oysterbvi.com

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26 eWoman magazine

Cherrylee Pinder

ask Cherrylee

Cherrylee is a motivational speaker, human resource trainer and counselor who resides in Nassau, Bahamas. She can be contacted at [email protected]

I couldn’t wait for 2013! I feel the same type of excited anticipation that I felt when I was a child at the start of the new school year. the new school year promised an opportunity to have a “do-over”. You know, a do-over. As a child when you made a bad throw when playing a game and you quickly called out, “do over!” this gave you the opportunity to have another try. Well, after 2012, I need a do-over. I need the opportunity to try again. try again at a business venture because I learned so much from that failed one this year. try again at a new relationship because that particular one caused my faith to grow. try again at being less self-absorbed so that I can focus on others whose year was filled with far more challenges than mine. try again at being better to myself because every-thing and everyone took priority over me this year.

As January 2013 rolls in, I will be looking for-ward to it. I’m looking forward to the people I will meet, the new experiences I will have, and the challenges I will conquer. Yes, I did say conquer. If 2012 taught me anything; it taught me that I am stronger than I think and pretty smart too. My sistahs, so are you! You are able to conspire with the universe to have the type of year that will showcase your skills, talent, resilience and grace in ways you never thought about.

I have no doubt that this will be the year of new beginnings for us all. Whatever these new beginnings are, let’s embrace them.

they are all a part of our journey. If you’ve travelled internationally recently, you know all too well how difficult travel is these days. the inconvenience, the fatigue, and the wait-ing can transform even the calmest soul. However, the purpose of your trip was worth enduring all that. So too will be the life les-sons encountered on your personal journey this coming year. the challenges will be worth it. Climb that mountain for the vista that awaits you is priceless, and every “valley experience” brings growth.

Apart from self-love, may this New Year be filled with many occasions for you to experi-ence the love of others. Your family and friends are wonderful travel companions on your life journey if you let them. time spent with family and friends will sustain you in your dark moments so plan time with them just as you would plan any appointment. It will give you a far greater r.O.I. for you will walk away refreshed, revived and refueled.

My sistahs, what will be your decision for this New Year? I have made a personal deci-sion to grow as much as possible this coming year. In 2013, it’s going to be about learning more about things, people and myself. No more self-doubt. No more procrastination. No more worry. this is my do-over and I plan to hit it out of the park. I wish the same for all of you. So get that bottle of champagne or wine and let’s raise our glasses to New Be-ginnings! Happy New Year! ❀

NewBeginnings

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“I’m looking forward to the people I will meet, the new experiences I will have, and the

challenges I will conquer.”

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1. Set a monthly budget.Not having a plan is like planning to fail. take some time, sit at your computer and chart your financial course for the year.

2. Track your monthly spending.In order to know where the money is going, you must keep track of your income and your spending. try the expensify app on your iPad.

3. Outline financial goals.What are your plans? How are you going to fund them? Create a written plan of what you’d like to achieve financially, whether it is to get rid of your credit cards, pay off your car loan or save for a down payment on your little piece of paradise. Obviously, your budget is very much included here.

4. Buy with cash.Having a debit or credit card for back up is a good thing, but when you are using them in-discriminately, it can wreak havoc on your finances. Always pay cash when you can and try leaving the cards at home when you are not travelling.

5. Pay yourself back.Saving is an important part of financial man-agement, but be sure to keep everything in proper perspective. Cut yourself some slack sometimes. every now and then treat your-self to something nice. Binges become a big threat food wise or money wise. So as you work

6. Defriend the Joneses.try keeping up with the lady next door and you are sure to find yourself in a puddle of mud. the grannies always said, “do not hang your basket higher than it can reach.” You do what is in your best financial interest and don’t allow competition or pressure from friends take you to the poor house.

Check in at the end of the year and let us know how you did. ❀

Your personal money management list for 2013So, you’ve promised time and time again to get your financial house in order. Here are six proven solutions to set you on your way.

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Dealing with a

deep, dark Caribbean

secret.In the Caribbean, we often say,

“just get over it, deal with it, move on.”

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30 e woman magazine

We seldom deal with the issue of depression as a real life altering issue, one that sometimes requires serious medical attention. And, while there is little statistical data on the levels of depression in the region, we all know someone who suffers or struggle with depression ourselves.

Dr. stoutt- VantErpool brEaks Down this rarEly DiscussED topic At some point in life, we all experience stressors; some we cope with and others overwhelm us. We must admit to the occasional unhappiness, sadness or even grief in the loss of a loved one but in time we recover to our usual comfort zone. Its absolutely normal to have “the blues” when there is personal tragedy. More often than not, we cope as we subcon-sciously go through the stages of grief and stress to acceptance. You may recognize these seven stages in your last stressor: At first there’s shock and denial, followed by pain and guilt. then, you begin to rationalize and bargain which makes you angry, and when you are unable to change things, depression and loneliness set in. You finally decide to reflect, adjust and work through the change until acceptance and hope brings you peace. Completing this process may take years but some individuals are stunted at the depression stage. If this feeling of sadness lasts more than a couple of weeks, prohibit you from performing routine daily activities and makes you physically ill, you may be suffering from Clinical depression.

Clinical depression may present in the forms of major depression, dysthymia, seasonal depression, bipolar disorder and psychotic depression. Major depression actually has nine symptoms that are subdivided into psychological and physical components. the four psychological symptoms are depressed mood that may or may not accompany reduced or lack of interest in usual activities (including sex), feeling of guilt and hopelessness and thoughts of suicide. It makes you physically unwell with loss of appetite and fluctuation in weight, lack of or excessive sleeping and feeling drained with lack of energy. dysthymia is a less severe feeling of melancholy that often goes on for several years but symptoms usually do not completely disrupt one’s normal activities.

Women that are predisposed to depression may have the following risk factors – family or personal history of moods disorders, loss of a parent in childhood, sexual or physical abuse, some birth control pills, lack of social support system and life stressors.

Worldwide, about 20% of women become depressed while only 10% of men suffer the same. The precise reason for this difference is not clear but is most likely gender-related and differences in coping mechanisms. With cyclical variations in female hormones, they are often labeled as “moody”. However, depressed mood is only one aspect involved in the diagnosis of depression. It’s important to note if there’s any relation-ship to menstruation, pregnancy, postpartum period and menopause. Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) can be misdiagnosed as depression.

In the Caribbean, there is a rise in the incidence of chronic illnesses such as diabetes Mellitus, Hypertension, Hypercholesterolemia, Heart disease and Kidney Failure with dialysis dependence. these conditions demand lifestyle changes that can be challenging to cope with. As such, the co-occurrence of these conditions and depression is not uncommon. this combination is called co-morbid depression;

which is seen in more mature women (and men). depression in younger women is more frequently seen with lower education and income levels.

Depression can be difficult to diagnose since most patients have a very atypical presentation. they commonly present to doctors with chronic or recurrent symptoms that just do not add up. Your doctor may chat with you and allow you to open up about the emotional challenges. We usually suggest some amount of counseling but there are some stereo-types when it comes to “talk therapy”. It is something that individuals shy away from but the truth is, having an outlet is the best way to achieve resolution to the depression. Talk therapy is effective in treat-ing mild to moderate depression, it helps you to understand yourself and gain new coping skills.

Have you noticed that after a good workout you feel revived and ener-gized? Ever wondered why? Believe it or not, daily exercise, laughter and sunning helps to release our own “feel good” substances called endor-phins; released by the brain. they reduce the sensation of pain, make you feel more motivated allowing you to tap into positive emotions. A healthy diet and water give you that resolve that you are doing good for your body. The overall effect is a significant boost in your mood.

using a combination of counseling and healthy lifestyle adjustments will empower you to steer your emotions, be encouraged to cope and even motivate you to help another person with what you’ve learnt. ❀

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Dr. Shakima Vanterpool, a native of the British Virgin Islands is currently based at the Princess Margaret Hospital in Nassau, Bahamas. Forward all questions for Dr. Vanterpool to [email protected].

Dr. Stoutt-Vanterpool

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WUnderstanding

intelligenceemotional

Women are assuming more leadership roles outside of the home and are becoming entrepreneurs or leaders in corporations, activist leaders, leaders in government, and NGO’s. using emotional intelli-gence skills will enhance the assets of any leader.

emotional intelligence is a learned ability that will assist women in the development of their leadership styles and interpersonal skill sets. Surely, we can all think of a person who had the right credentials, but was not advancing in their career path, one reason could be the lack of the soft skill sets related to interpersonal skills and personal influence. Emotional intelligence behaviors are intention-al, mindful habits that will assist you in redirecting your focus on issues and not personalities.

drs. Nelson and Low, leading academics in this subject, define Emotional intelligence (EI) as a learned

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ability to understand, use and express human emotions in healthy and productive ways. Also, there continues to be a growing body of evidence that supports career, personal and family achievement to emotional intelligence.

If you have no recollection of seeing eI skills demonstrated, think about someone you have observed who appeared to be able to clearly read situ-ations in an objective manner, and respond by saying the right things, at the right time and in a manner that maintains the other person’s self-es-teem. As Stephen Covey states in his book “the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”, ‘first, seek to understand, rather than to be understood.’

Or in challenging, chaotic situations this person responds with empa-thetic language while not appearing to be under duress. Have you seen who is assertive when dealing with conflict and responds with dignity; demonstrates integrity; and is respectful?

the four basic emotions are anger, fear, sadness and happiness. each emotion is useful but to any extreme it can become unhealthy. too much sadness leads to depression; fear is always associated to the future (most things we fear never occur) and anger when not controlled will lead to working against your personal self-interest.

Emotional intelligence is grounded on specific guiding life principles or personal core values you develop or learned as a centering for your soul.

Our emotional mind has no sense of time, or place and therefore relies on only historical coding in the brain. therefore, it responds to external stimuli in the exact manner each time.

Let’s talk about how this works in your professional life, and take time to reflect upon a performance review at work, a team meeting, a Board meeting or receiving constructive feedback from a friend or colleague. Recall how you felt at the time, specifically if the conversation or meeting was difficult. Were you sad, angry, happy, or fearful? Was the noise, that negative self-talk, in your head louder than the person speaking with you? Did you lose control giving your emotional mind precedence and reacted faster than your cognitive mind would have allowed? Your cognitive mind is your rational (reasoning) mind. Now turn your thinking to how you could have made it a more positive outcome. Were you assertive or aggressive? Gracious or defensive? What changes would you make? Using learned emotional intelligence skills and abilities, the result might have had a more positive ending.

A result of a negative social or business interaction leaves you feeling bruised, hurt, angry and offended. The catalyst for these feelings does not necessarily reflect this encounter alone and with personal, deeper reflection could have underlying historical emotional baggage clouding our minds. You recall the emotional mind has no sense of time and place!

Emotional intelligence is grounded on specific guiding life principles or personal core values you develop or learned as a centering for your soul.

applications:1. Live intentionally – a new habit is formed every 21 days

2. Begin the day with quiet meditation, reflecting on positive thoughts. Be positive!

3. Listen to others in an empathetic listening – look with interest at the person speaking.

4. Listen to your own words - quickly evaluate tone, attitude and language.

5. Be mindful of your personal influence with others

empowered women adorn yourselves with strength of character, and a sense of emotional intellect and wellbeing.

Linda Merritt JP is a certified emotional intelligence trainer, coach. She can be reached at [email protected].

32 e woman magazine

the personal power for women lies in identifying the feeling/ emotion quickly and allowing it to pass, which it will do with efficacy, without acting upon the emotion. George Meredith indicates in ‘Diana of the Crossways, ‘a witty woman is a treasure; a witty beauty is a power.’ A witty beauty is a woman of a quiet spirit, enduring strength and proven grace who is empowered internally; this is the real beauty.

Norman Vincent Peale once said, “Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business.”

With all clarity of discourse mastering eI skills/ability is a life long intentional, conscious practice. emotional intellect always seeks to determine (telescope in) if your emotions control you; or, if you con-trol your emotions (telescope out).

When we intentionally develop this ability we are able to know ourselves more accurately; establish and maintain healthy relation-ships and work with others in achieving positive results; and effectively manage the demands and pressures of daily life and work. (Nelson, Low)

I cannot leave you in our dialogue without a few simple tips and applications to practice. ❀

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have been meaning to lose weight all my adult life but just never re-ally focused too much on it. On

my annual check up in June, 2011, my gynecologist said to me that I was playing Russian Roulette with my life, as being severely overweight and not having diabetes and/or hypertension, it was only a matter of time before I developed one or both of these diseases. On 11 September 2012 I finally made a conscious decision to start losing the weight and within the first month I lost 30 lbs. And, the journey continues.

Also, my father Alric Corea said to me that if I lost the weight he would give me $10,000.00 and buy me clothes for the rest of my life… that didn’t move me but after he developed Alzheimer’s I made up my mind that I would lose the weight before he lost his memory completely and in addition to that my son said he never knew me small.

Daily DiEtMy typical diet consists of crackers with natural peanut butter or cereal, a fruit and herbal tea for breakfast, lunch consists of chicken breast and salad and tea and crackers for dinner. I try not to eat after 6 p.m. I wake up at 4:30 and do 40 minutes of cardio and 20 minutes weights. I meet with my trainer (Colin Gunthroupe) at Sensus Club in the afternoons and do another 40 minutes of cardio in the evenings and sometimes walk for another hour.

thE bEnEFitsI am now able to travel on commercial/private airplanes without hav-ing to ask for a seat belt extension and also I try to take the stairs instead of elevators and escalators as I have that much more energy now. I can now order my clothes online and not have to have them made. I have found that my energy level has increased tremendously and that I am more willing and excited about doing a lot more meaningful things in my life. I feel like I have only now begun to live. I plan to reach my goal or at least close to before my son graduates from High School in June of this year. I am also excited when my father commends me on my weight loss. I am now down to a size 18 pants from a 26 and a 2xl blouse from a 3x/4x.

I do have my moments where I just maintain my weight by doing cardio only and I do have cheat days.

My motto is if you believe you can achieve. I am still not where I would like to be but I look at it as being one step closer.❀

Age: 39 Before weight 346Pounds lost: 90lbs Goal:180lbs

I

“My motto is if you believe you can achieve.”

Colette Before

How I became a sexier, healthier, happier me.

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By the time you read this story someone will be wearing the crown.

With any luck it will be one of the Caribbean’s finest, with her kind of devotion it may well be her.

PHOtOGrAPHY BY dAVId GOddArd

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In the Governor’s Ballroom of the Westin Casuarina resort on Grand Cay-man’s Seven Mile Beach, the top divers in the world have gathered for an in-duction ceremony to the International Scuba diving Wall of Fame.

Created in the Cayman Islands, the Ministry of tourism hosts the event once per year. this night, the inductees have come from as far away as New Zealand and Fiji to enjoy the festivities and to collect their Caymanite (a stone found only in the Cayman Islands) sculptures, which solidify their induction. they plan on enjoy-ing great food and touching speeches, but no one knew that in addition to an of-ficial government welcome by the Premier and other members of the Legislative Assembly, a royal welcome would be extended to them too: Miss Cayman Is-lands, Lindsay Japal, has dawned her sash and an immaculately beaded black gown with matching pumps and has curled her hair so that it is flowing in the intermittent tropical breeze, to celebrate these noteworthy inductees.

this is just one of the many events she has made appearances at during her reign. the busy 24-year old had just received word of eWoman Magazine’s inter-est in interviewing her as she was rushing to get her makeup done for this very appearance and while surrounded by adoring fans she took a few minutes to talk to this magazine already envisioning that in a few days she was expected in New York for her Miss Universe gown, wardrobe and costume fittings.

this has been the beat of her life since she was crowned; working with the depart-ment of tourism in the mornings, an appearance or cocktails in the evening, and New York on some weekends- it has become somewhat of a second home. there she is being put through the paces: a marathon of photo shoots, a night on the town with other royalty like Wendy Fitzwilliam, Miss Universe 1998, and soaking up the city; somewhat of a pre curser to the blinding lights of Las Vegas, host to the 2012 Miss universe Pageant.

By the time you read this story someone will be wearing the crown. With any luck it will be one of the Caribbean’s finest, with her kind of devotion it may well be her. But regardless of outcome, it is easy to see that her bright smile won’t fade as it seems to be the vehicle to her energetic words, she is excited about the competition and has completely embodied the regiment of positive thinking.

QueenTHE

SPIrIT OF a

By Kareem-Nelson Hull

mISS CaymaN ISLaNDS,

LINDSay JaPaL TaLkS aBOuT

HEr ExPErIENCE aS

quEEN OF CaymaN

aND WHaT kEEPS

HEr GrOuNDED.

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“No negative thoughts,” she says emphatically. She goes on to talk about what it would be like to place in the top 15- which is chosen based on interviews, the judges and the people’s choice- remarking it as a per-sonal duty of sorts to make sure that she represents the Cayman Islands well. History-maker would be her other title if she accomplished this, as no country so small has ranked that high in recent years and it is certain that no country this small had ever won the crown. A win like this would be two-fold, for her country first and for us as a region, as Carib-bean countries have rarely had the prestige of winning the title but for a handful of times in the pageant’s 60 year history: Marisol Malaret (Puer-to rico, 1970), Janelle Commissiong (trinidad and tobago, who became the first black woman to win the title in 1977), Deborah Cathy Due (Puerto rico, 1985), dayanara torres (Puerto rico, 1993), Wendy Fit-zwilliam (trinidad and tobago, 1998), denise Quinones (Puerto rico, 2001), Amelia Vega (dominican republic, 2003) and Zuleyka riviera (Puerto Rico, 2006). Yendi Phillips of Jamaica finished as first runner-up in 2010 and Aruba, the united States Virgin Islands (twice), the Bahamas and Antigua and Barbuda have all won the

Miss Congeniality award in the past 12 years adding to the total of 17 wins for that award- the highest of any region in the world.

But this is a new era for the 5’ 9” beauty that dismisses- through word and deed- the archaic stereotypes of a beauty queen and pageant winner. She reminds many people that looking great in a swimsuit, be-ing an airhead (for the record she favoured economics and chemistry as a student), giggling and crying about things like homeless puppies can-not cut it anymore. She is a different kind of queen; ironically ideal in the archaic sense- her body is slender with graceful lines that emit acute femininity. Her eyes are alluring and match a diamond white smile. She has rallied people of the Cayman Islands to know her like a Princess diana, but on days when she is reading to children or judging them in a costume competition she is more like a Mother the-resa. She rarely wears her 6 inch tall Navette Top Tiara, preferring to be identified by a slender sash that never covers her heart as it is casually slung from the right shoulder. She respects her past and has drawn encouragement from a handful of past Miss Cayman Islands winners who have had the experience she is now so fond of.

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Lindsay with photgrapher David Goddard

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“Some of these ladies, I knew my whole life. Some came out of the wood works to support me and that was very special.”

Still, she has harnessed extra strength from her family and friends, but she is more cognisant that her strength comes from within, in her spirit, one she has nurtured ever since she was young. this reservoir has resulted in a soulful woman who understands her success too is tied first to her spirit and who is mindful of the light she emits as a person and as a queen. A student of ‘the Secret’, a subscriber to the law of attraction, a believer in God and a “good mixture of both parents”, she has woven a tight tapestry of authentic power which is a banner that she freely flies on a moments notice.

“I’ve always had a good sense of self,” she affirms, “but if you asked me a year ago if I would be Miss Cayman, I would say no. So, as queen I am concerned enough about people’s opinion of me. I don’t want people to see me and think that I am fake. I want people to feel my warmth and to know that I take this job seriously.”

As far as jobs go, she is no stranger to hard work, off stage; she has held a job at a local bank, interned at a local law firm until she graduated high school and has also worked in the family’s business, a well-established clothing store that has a branch just for kids. this kind of upbringing kept her grounded, solidly.

“I was raised to keep a foot on the ground and to keep myself in check at all times and to stay focused so that I am not operating with clouded judgement.”

She plays the clarinet above a proficient level- grade 8 Royal School of Music to be exact- and can also play the steel pan well. though not a Caymanian instrument, she introduces her love of music in this way. dancing too is no problem for her. Her culture is also her passion and she plans to share a very special part of it with the rest of the world at the Miss universe Pageant.

“each of us was asked to bring one item that represents the holiday season in our countries. It was hard to pick one thing and although we adapt a lot of the American culture here, we have a lot of things that are uniquely Caymanian,” she shares. “I chose the conch shell after speaking to my grandmother (who was making her a pot of conch stew as her final meal before leaving for the pageant) who told me that when she got married; my grandfather like many Caymanian men lived abroad on the seas for the first year. They never knew exactly when the men were returning home so they would listen each day for the blowing of the conch shell. When they heard it, they knew their men were on the horizon.”

For a while she toyed with taking sand as this too is the centre of one of Cayman’s greatest Christmas traditions where they would collect buckets of sand from the beaches and fill their yards to give the ap-pearance that snow had fallen and leaving only a path to the front door lined by conch shells like the one she is taking with her.

to add authenticity to the gift, she took a lesson to learn how to blow the shell herself before presenting it at the pageant. this she thinks

will be one of the most special moments of her Miss universe experience along with meeting the women from the other 51countries. But pageantry has given her many life-altering experiences already: she competed to win the scholarship which she is using to complete her degree in finance. What she will do with the degree is still a question as her deepest passion is to become a food critic or a National Geographic journalist. Also, she has caught the eye of Sherri Hill, one of the most popular event gown designers in the world of pageantry. Hill has confirmed that she wants to work with her in the future and has sealed that promise by designing the very gown Lindsay will wear at the pageant. She has also worked with Tosca Delfino, a Toronto-based designer who created a swimsuit line for the Cayman Islands and presented it at the Miami Swim Show.

Once in Las Vegas she will pretty much be on her own. Yes, there will be the other contestants, but finding a friend in a field of competitors will be a dance she will have to learn quickly. the moment she lands she will be in and out of fittings, appearances, interviews, cocktail parties, formal dinners and the gruelling rehearsals. But she will shine; she assures us, especially with the support that is flying to Las Vegas to see her.

“It’s sad that my dad won’t be there. Because of the kind of business we run and the holiday season, my mom and dad had to choose. So my mom will be there, but my dad will watch on tV. My sister, aunts and brothers will be there though.”

truth be told, all the Caribbean will be there in spirit. though we come from different countries and will support our own queens at the pageant opening, it is certain that all attention, love and affection will be directed to the next Caribbean queen that can secure prominence for the region, com-pleting the dream that we so closely missed with Yendi Phillips and re-turning the fire we felt when Wendy Fitzwilliam won. Her hope and focus though are lodged deep within the Cayman Islands as she has rendered herself as a weapon against misconceptions that the British Overseas territory is a money launderer’s paradise. She vehemently dismisses such ignorance by directly correcting many critics by explaining the transpar-ency the territory has achieved since the 90s. One thing she will not dis-miss is when visitors tell her she lives in paradise. “I do”, she smiles, “and I love it.” that is why she admits to feeling some pressure regarding the show.

“More than anything I would like to say, here Cayman, I brought you the crown, but I realise that I have to achieve this within myself first and then I can be what everyone is expecting. I’ve been working hard towards this. It’s surreal, everything I have done since being crowned was to get ready for this moment,” she says.

Words that could be prophetic and inserted into an interview she would give if she won and her already stellar life would change in a whirl wind of rhinestones again.

until then she assures eWoman Magazine when we asked “does what happen in Vegas really stay in Vegas?” She quickly returns, “Not if I win!” ❀

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““i was raised to keep a foot on the ground and to keep myself in check at all times. To stay focused, so that i am not operating on clouded judgement.”

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e b

aza

ar

Beautiful Things

The Hand Can Do!

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The jewelry pieces are from KJO Creations. They are designed by Karen Johnson, the proprietor. Phone 242.424.0362 • email: [email protected]

yellow irish Crochet choker with pearl accents

green Swarovski crystal bead lariat

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turquoise beaded choker with gold pearl accents

royal red Swarovski crystal seed beaded necklace

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lavender Swarovski crystal and fresh water pearl hand chain

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Who Run The

World?

Girls!

he advent of ‘woman’ in the Caribbean region continues to undermine archaic patriarchal ideas that have been firmly entrenched in social structures. The question of leadership has been to the fore of debates that seek to situate women in the power structures that influence society as a whole. There is an undeniable paradigm shift of power that has

evoked a myriad of responses to women’s appearance in traditionally male dominated leadership roles. even popular culture, as a predicate of social change, seems to suggest acceptance of women as positive, influential leaders.

The age old question of “who’s wearing the pants?” becomes an almost parodic inversion of itself, better expressed as “just who’s wearing the skirt here!” as women take and define leadership on their own terms.

After many years of male dominated leadership and struggle in the region, will women make better leaders in times such as these? eWoman takes time out to speak with a small group of women with diverse socio- economic, religious and cultural backgrounds.

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Will Girls ever run the world? KathrynCEO, Auto repair companyI would say yes. Women are more analytical, detailed and thorough. I have always worked in male dominated fields and even though men were always in charge, there was always a strong female presence backing them. i admire women like Hillary Clinton, Oprah and Margaret Thatch-er, when she was in power. These women are all good examples of strength and capability.

Women also make good leaders for this region because they take less risks due in part to the fact that they will probably treat their respective countries on the whole as an extension of their own families- and you never put your own family in jeopardy.

Loretta Butler-TurnerMinister of Parliament. Bahamasi believe that women for far too long have fought the discrimination of a male dom-inated decision making world. But with the advent of the new millennium, I see that women are certainly reaching the point in the world where the 50 plus percent that we make up globally are creating larger numbers in leadership roles. for too long we have disregarded most of that fifty percent potential and in large part on the sole basis of gender.

Now we realize that women have brains. If we use that other fifty percent, we won’t be operating on half of our power. it is only going to enhance what is already being done in terms of leadership for these countries. Women have demonstrated that they have the capacity to make tough decisions and to lead.

We have been talking about this topic for too long. Without question, women should have opportunities available to them and not based on gender, but based on ability. We are finally coming into our own. We should be considered for any role there is, whether it is leadership or otherwise.

We see proof of this spanning south america to north america where women have a stronger presence in politics. Women are doing a great job. there is going to be a shift within the politics of power in our own country. i feel within the next two electoral cycles women will come forward as political party leaders.

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CarlattaEntrepreneur As women, we have stripped men from their roles as leaders. Women are not taking their rightful place and leaving the men to be ‘the head’. it is the reason why things are the way they are in these countries. We will forever have certain problems as long as this situation remains. Women should not be leaders. if men were to step up to the plate, women should not have to be lead-ers. our place or role is as supporters. i feel women have become more dominating and in a forceful way that has caused men to shy away from their role. a mother can only be a mother to a boy. she can’t be a father. this is one of the problems we face with leadership. Little boys cannot become leaders because many times there is no leader in the home.

MitziAccounts Managerin a male dominated world female leaders will always struggle. They struggle to gain the respect of their peers, even though women today are extremely well educated and can hold their own in any situation- be it the home, workforce or wherever. So yes. i do feel women make great leaders because we can juggle many things- and do them all successfully. The region can definitely benefit from female strength and vision and leadership.

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Samantha McCartneyMiss Bahamas GalaxyDefinitely. We are in an era now where women are tak-ing over more or less. We are the heads of the home, more dominant in the workplace, and working in fields that were more male dominated. We are moving up there and making more decisions. Men have no idea what it takes to be a woman but women have an idea of what it is like to fill a man's role because we have been filling in some of those roles where men have fallen short. And we can do it wearing dresses too! We don't have to 'wear the pants' to be great leaders.

Live | On Line | In Print

ewoman magazine… for the discerning

Caribbean Woman!

For the enchanting, exuberant, enterprising, extraordinary, empowered Caribbean woman.

e woman magazine 1

November/ December 2011

For the enchanting, exuberant,

enterprising, extraordinary,

empowered Caribbean woman.

A Woman’s WorthFirst lady of the United States Virgin Islands,

Cecile de Jongh on Having it all, Hillary Clinton

and Women running the world.

Yes we are beautiful

Shades of black

e-power your life!

Christmas around

the Caribbean

Yes we are beautiful

Shades of black

e-power your life!

Christmas around

the Caribbean

January/February 2012 Volume 1/Issue 2

For the enchanting, exuberant, enterprising, extraordinary, empowered Caribbean woman.

Tanya McCartneyon Work, Love and Giving Back

www.ewomanmagazine.comCaribbean Women Breaking Barriers

COMPLIMENTARY ISSUE

Spring Fashion

eWoman Goes To New York

Fabulous and the Christian Woman

SEX

RBC/FiNCo’s

The Passion PurPose issue

&

March/April2012

Volume 1/Issue3

COMPLIMENTARY ISSUE

The p

ower

of u

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One On One with SOca Queen

aliSOn hindS

on her music, her life and her passion

Dressing for

SucceSS

Too successful

for Love

Is your career keeping you

from finding Mr. Right?

The eLiST

Profiling 10 of the

Caribbean’s most

Powerful Women

dame marguerite Pindling

One of the Caribbean’s

Magnificent Six’s First LadiesExclusive

One On One with SOca Queen

aliSOn hindS

Exclusive

For the enchanting, exuberant, enterprising, extraordinary, empowered Caribbean woman.

COMPLIMENTARY ISSUE

www.ewomanmagazine.com

sweetness o

f summer

June/July 2012Volume 1/Issue 4

Variations of brilliance: The story of women bound by a common purpose

So, whydid I get married?

A CaribbeanWedding Story

Women who inspired us – One woman’s journey with Lupus.

Swimsuitsfor every day of the week.

British Virgin Islands

Summer in the

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A Symphony of StyleNew York Fashion Week - Spring/Summer 2013By terry donovan

PhotoS By Froylan FlowerS, new york City

Like a beautiful glowing sunset, an array of bright orange hues made a trium-phant return from last summer, as yellow basked in the spotlight as a color favourite for fashion designers. Aquatic shades of blue and green emerged as black, white and other neutral colors remained a staple.

From 60’s influenced styles to sophisticat-ed modern styles, designers pulled out all the stops to dazzle as they showed the versatility of silhouettes from sleek and tailored to exaggerated shapes.

extremes went from hot short-shorts, mi-ni-skirts, and flirty dresses with plenty of skin on display in cut-out dresses and other sheer pieces. On the other side of the spectrum, some designers revved up the glam factor with fabulous separates such as perfectly cut jackets including an array of chic leather blazers, playful blouses, comfortable, relaxed pants, and plenty of feminine, ladylike dresses.

In a rich palette of blazing hues to classic blacks and whites, fashion designers unveiled a wide contrast of illuminating looks for Spring/Summer 2013 season during New York Fashion Week.

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Spring/Summer 2013 Trend Highlights

The Revolution of Color A burst of colors popped up everywhere

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Mixed printstropical to abstract prints displayed the art in fashion

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Bold Stripes they went vertical or horizontal

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The embellishmentsGlitzy pieces were decorated with beautiful beading and sequins

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hen Valentines day arrives, love is

in the air, between the sheets and all

around. there are many symbols to

express the sentiment of the day,

including some frisky foods more

commonly known as aphrodisiacs.

Chocolate: Has the chemical phenyl ethylamine, which has euphoric value

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Red wine: The antioxidant resveratrol found in this liquid for lovers, affects blood circulation and flow during intercourse.

he foods you eat around this time could have more than just nutritional value (wink). Any plans for romance can be enhanced by some delectable dishes with signature ingre-dients that serve a sexier purpose.

Before you grab the popular box of chocolates this time around, you might want to consider that there is a whole pantry- or refrigerator- of love triggers. And all having tried and tested aphrodisiac value.

If things become sweet between the sheets this Valentines for instance, one such item could have you squealing its praises- “Yes honey!!”. Honey contains an enzyme that enhances tes-tosterone and estrogen levels in the blood, which are both hormones linked to sex drive.

Wonder what other aphrodisiacs will drive you positively bananas? Well, try eating some....bananas, or a banana based dish. An all too convenient phallus symbol, bananas also contain enzymes that have a positive impact on the male libido.

Bananas: The potassium found in these help with muscle strength.

If you are making lunch or dinner plans for Valentineʼs this year, you can create dishes around some of these....well...frisky ingredi-ents that also include almonds, chocolate, figs, garlic, oysters, asparagus, avocado, salmon and chili peppers. Some of these ingredients also have scents that will arouse the senses. Have these with a glass of red wine or cham-pagne which will soothe and relax you before your special evening. ❀

Other aphrodisiacs: Carrots Coffee Mustard Nutmeg Pineapple Vanilla Caviar Truffles

Honey: Nectar of Aphrodite. Sticky, runny, viscous, buttery-texture, sweet, honey it is as much a sensual experience as it is a delicious indulgence.

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Ayana Hull’s story on love, marriage and starting over

live again!

Caribbean women and Christian Caribbean women in particular, subscribe very seriously to the sacredness of their promise, that marriage is “till death do us part”.

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You can

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s a Christian Caribbean woman, I’ve pondered that promise for a very long time and have conclud-

ed an irony that, while many of us try our best to draw breath from our dead marriages, we fail to realise that it is indeed the death of the marriage that has done us apart and has separated the union. We love our husbands, our children, our families. therefore, we do everything within our power to make them happy and to make our marriages work. We often put our own happiness aside for the greater good – the survival of the family. We adhere to a cultural and fervent belief that the “Caribbean dream” and the rights of passage to happiness is being married with children and if one were lucky enough, he or she could couple that accomplishment with a de-cent job and a beautiful home.

I began to come of age to a new reality that it was perfectly fine and in fact common place to be in your mid to late twenties and not have children or a husband when I pursued my law degree at the university of the West Indies’ campus in Barbados. this was a shocking reality for me, as in the BVI you were almost expected to be settled down with a family in a stable relationship by a certain time after college, and the sooner the better! By the time I got to the university of Cam-bridge in pursuit of a masters degree in com-mercial law, and witnessed divorced women doing well, and women without husbands and/or children who felt perfectly normal and accomplished. I felt that my socialisation in that regard had owed me an apology.

the reality is that in relentless pursuit of the Caribbean dream, many of us live lonely and unfulfilled lives and because we are so occu-pied with balancing a career, taking care of our families and making ends meet (to ensure that we can provide the best for our families), we often do not have enough time, strength or confidence to deal with the unbearable things that gnaw away at our marriages and our souls every day until there is nothing left but a very strong desire or wish that we could walk away from the “marriage” that had become the pro-verbial “dog’s breakfast.” For some of us that unbearable thing can range from something as subtle as emotional or psychological abuse to the very blatant physical abuse, both of which

A are very painful, humiliating and damaging to a person’s self-esteem. In the Caribbean, we tend to take the view that the various forms of emotional exploitation do not constitute abuse. We therefore allow our husbands to speak to us in any manner they choose to, criticise and call us down in private and in public , seek to control who we talk to, isolate us from family and friends and the list can go on ad infinitum. Some of us women, albeit less of us, also think it is somehow normal to accept physical abuse and we convince ourselves that this cruelty is justified in certain cases. Many of us accept it because of our love for the abuser or our concern for the stability of our children and for others of us, simply because we know no other way of life.

As a starting point, it is crucially important to ensure that we give our relationships and marriages a fair chance to succeed by not car-rying baggage into them. However, many of us continue further into relationships that start off with glaring foundation cracks. We later realise that those cracks were red flags that we did not pay attention to nor addressed and they later become the Achilles heel of our marriages. As an example, marriage brings together families and it is an error to think that the inability for families of the union to get along or accept each other as equal would not cause problems. Sometimes, it causes serious manifested problems, while other times it can be a silent killer. However it presents itself in the marriage, it can be a continuous burden on either one or both of the parties. If the respec-tive families are not accepting of each other, some serious decisions should be made as to how the relationship will be ordered as those issues will play a big part in the ensuing mar-riage. Women also ought to be aware when they have happened upon a “momma’s boy”, as books can be written about the troubles that can lie ahead for the unsuspecting wife in these types of situations. And girlfriends, whatever you do, please allow Genesis 2:24 to become a topic of discussion for much of your dating life. It will provide much clarity for you as to your position in your intended’s life.

Another common problem in Caribbean marriages is the issue of indiscretion or as we call it “cheating”. Most Caribbean women have struggled with this and it became a problem for

me to deal with in my relationship and conse-quential marriage also. the continuous indis-cretions and/or rumours of indiscretions should be red flags for women, but many of us convince ourselves that we can work out these issues and we put the want of a stable environment for rais-ing our children over and above our own inhibi-tions and pain. For me this was easy to do as I grew up with both my parents and thought that I owed it to my children to socialise them in this manner as well. Indiscretion is a serious social cancer in Caribbean societies and it is a severe form of emotional abuse. But we treat it as nor-mal and because most women deal with it, there is often disregard for the woman who cries out, so we just accept it. Well, in my experience, over a period of time, it left me feeling vandalised, demoralised, betrayed, insecure, inadequate, hurt, inferior, distrustful and less of a woman. It causes some of our minds to eventually check out of our marriages and for most of us, once the mental component is gone, the physical aspects become a burden to comply with.

Finances are also a big contributor, if not the leading cause of divorce. In the Caribbean how-ever, there appears to be a slight twist to this truth. It appears to be commonplace for many Caribbean women, or at least BVI women to ac-cept, that they should contribute to the house-hold, whether financially or by way of other contributions and have no interest in the matri-monial property. So many of us (including pro-fessional women who provide legal advice to others and have access to legal advice them-selves) come to terms with the factual reality that we are legally responsible for mortgage payments on property even though our names appear nowhere on the deed. Even the financial institutions, seeking to protect themselves from such a glaring oversight by us women, ensure to ask us to execute a document stating that we are of sound mind and of our own free will and volition, committing to a mortgage on property that we have no interest in!

the added complication to this is that throughout the developed world, and the Caribbean is no exception, women are in-creasingly earning much higher salaries than men and are now saddled with the lion share of household expenses. Yet, many of us agree to these conditions as part and parcel of our commitment to the marriage, but after a while

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this reality begins to feel unfair and we begin to feel financially abused. Many of us do it when asked, for the sake of peace in the mar-riage but it becomes increasingly hard for us to be happy with the arrangement and conse-quently to be fully available, emotionally to our husbands. then after all we go through in the marriage, at the end, many of us, because of the way we allowed property ownership to be structured in the marriage, have to find al-ternative accommodations for ourselves and our children (as it is the natural expectation that we are the ones that must leave the mat-rimonial home in respect of which we have no legal interest) at least until the property interests can be sorted out in a peaceful and amicable manner.

experiencing most of these very issues and feeling stuck in my personal situation, I began to look to my future. I looked around the com-munity and analysed what older women who were in my situation at my age looked like thirty years later. they were not happy; they were still struggling with the same issues as they were when they were twenty-five. They were, suffering from hypertension, severe de-pression, visits to the psychotherapist and de-pended on pills to get through the day. Most of the women I spoke to wished they could leave, or that they had left but now felt they were too old and too tied up in debt with their spouse to escape. I took as much advice as I could and I pondered it. I learnt that married BVI women only had one piece of advice for women in a troubled marriage, “Stay with your husband”. Most of my friends too told me, that they knew I was unhappy but there were no good men out there so I should “Stay with my husband.” When I took off my wed-ding rings in 2007, a sister in the church in-structed me to put them back on, and I did. While I listened to all the advice I received, and while I am not a proponent of divorce, I kept saying to myself, “God could not want this for my life.”

So at the age of 37, after about five years of grieving in a marriage that had died while it

I am a princess and

I still think my prince will come.

I am grateful that no matter what

I have been through, that

there are good things and good people

in my life.

was still on life support, I woke up one morning and remembered and reconciled with my worth. Like the four leprous men in the story in II Kings chapter 7, I made a decision that I would not just sit there and die. that October morning in 2010, I removed my wedding rings for good this time. Like many women, I knew that the marriage was irreconcilable after all the praying, the counseling, the advice, the try-ing…yet I hesitated to leave, not because I could not afford to, not because I doubted whether I needed to, not because I thought it would destroy my children, not because I still wanted my husband, but because I did not want to have to think about starting over again.

While in that state of flux, I received further con-firmation from the spiritual realm during a cru-sade at my church, that it was time for me to leave that situation. From that moment, my confidence that my children were mature enough to withstand a divorce and that God would take care of them grew exponentially. As women, we should always ensure that we are good examples to our children. In the process, we should also ensure that they know how they should be treated and how they should treat oth-ers in relationships. I thought that this was a hard but necessary step in teaching this lesson to my children.

I made up my mind that 1 January 2012 would meet me in a positive environment and began to focus on how best to protect my children in the transition I knew that if handled correctly, the negative effects of divorce on them would be temporary, so I focused on how I could im-pact them minimally in the process. So on 31st december 2011, I vacated the matrimonial home and I was legally divorced three months later. I opted for a clean break - no fight, for the sake of saving my children additional pain, as I firmly believed that my God would supply all my needs according to his riches in glory.

I began 2012 with a new and fresh perspective and it was a good year for me. Many positive things are happening. It was almost as if the rest of my life was just waiting for me to make

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So give in to the voice that tells you to live; and while you are living ensure that you attract love, respect, understanding, dignity and kindness.

a decision not to die in my situation. I began construction on my own home! I am now a published author and I am already in the pro-cess of authoring again - this time Bible stories for teenaged children. I also have another book in my belly which I have already started too, as I believe that Caribbean women have powerful stories that would make the story lines in movies such as “Waiting to exhale” and “diaries of a Mad Black Woman” look like a walk in the park. In the words of Alicia Keys, “This girl is on fire!”

Nearly a year after I made the decision to live, I can truly say that I am blessed and highly fa-voured! I am hopeful again, fulfilled, happy, my confidence is at a high level and my self-esteem is not shaken. I have reclaimed my pas-sions and interests and I continue to be in-volved in positive things in my community. I believe that while I am not perfect, I have a good heart and that that special person who is right for me will see that, so I have no regrets having been resurrected from a place that had become dead in my life. I am a princess and I still think my prince will come. I am grateful that no matter what I have been through, that there are good things and good people in my life. I have two beautiful children that God blessed me with during that season. I love them indescribably. the end of that season also brought me into contact with an author that was inside me that I did not even know was there. Pressure and loneliness will stir up gifts that you did not even know you pos-sessed. My children, my parents, my brother, my few good friends and my new found gift were all I needed to get me through the transi-tion and I thank God for them all.

I encourage all Caribbean women to remember and reconcile with their worth. An older wom-an once said to me, “We can pretend all we want, but truth be told, we all know when the end has come.” I knew and eventually I got the courage to want to live again, to begin again. So you daughters of Zion, remember that you are children of God, heads and not tails, special and not common, extra-ordinary and not ordi-

nary, over comers and not failures, conquerors and not retreaters. You are women of worth and women of virtue and your latter can be greater than your past. Whether you find life in your current situ-ation or in a new life, find life, live again! My humble advice would be, that in all you are required to be, remain positive, or-ganise your selves, nurture yourselves (mind, body and soul) love yourselves, eat healthy, exercise and enrich your spirit. For many months I had to speak to my spirit, encourage myself and say to it, “You shall live and not die.” And when all is said and done, if there is no other option but divorce, remember that it does not have to be the end of your life but can be the gateway to beautiful beginnings!

I leave this story with you. I was travel-ling back from a leadership conference in May of 2012 and while in transit in the Miami International Airport, I walked into a store that sells designs by Gretchen Scott. As I was browsing, I happened to concentrate on the label of a tunic. It cost around $90 plus tax and I initially thought it was quite pricey. But the label said, “Laugh more, Gripe Less, Ignore Critics, Say Yes, Order dessert, Love Life.” I thought the label alone was worth the $90 so I purchased it. My teenage daughter said to me, “the tunic looks ordinary mommy”, (as if to say she saw nothing special about spending $90 on it) and I smiled and said to her, “I have been labeled with worse words sweetie and have had worse words deposited into my spirit. You will understand it better by and by.” So give in to the voice that tells you to live; and while you are living en-sure that you attract love, respect, under-standing, dignity and kindness. And whenever you doubt who you are, just let L’Oreal’s world-famous advertising slo-gan be your guide and encourage your-self by saying, “I’m worth it.” ❀

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O N E d AY I N L I M A

I had always dreamed of visiting Peru. I always envisioned, the Icing sugar snow capped mountains reaching the gods, whilst brightly clothed Incas carried beautiful babies on their backs. I had always been in awe of Latin American culture and literature, such as Allende, Lorca and Marquez…….with their incredible blend of magical realism mixed with politics, mystery and humor.

So, when the unexpected opportunity arose, I jumped at it with great anticipation. I was finally going to visit South America.

Before my journey, I conducted some of my own research on where I was to spend almost a week. the initial Lonely Planet review described the city of Lima on the surface as just grey

magic city of hidden

By Katerina Diaz

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buildings, constantly enveloped in an overcast blend of sea mist- foggy, dirty, extremely busy, loud and chaotic.

However, there was also the story of a real hidden beauty- of a city bursting with culture beyond modern industry; of winding cobbled streets and beautiful colonial balconies, the grand museums and art galleries, the incredible restaurants of gastronomic delight and heavily influenced by immigration. World-class cuisine featuring Asian-Peru-vian Seafood Fusion whose doors only recently opened. All of this, combined with a growing economy means now is an excellent time to visit this capital of hidden wonder. Lima. rich history, vibrant, messy

Plaza de Armas – Lima, Peru

magic city of hidden

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and full of delights. I couldn’t wait to arrive in October- Spring-Primavera in Peru! What perfect timing for something new and fresh.

Following the Peruvian War of Independence, Lima became the capital of the republic of Peru. Nowadays, around one-third of the Peruvian population lives within the metropolitan area.

I arrived in Lima at the Jorge Chávez International Airport (named after Peruvian aviator Jorge Chávez dartnell) at around 11pm. the airport, refurbished in 2009 to world class standards was bustling with people. After being in the Caribbean for a year, it was a shock to arrive to such bustling activity and to see hundreds of people at the arrival lounge, many holding signs with names and calling out, “taxi.” My driver was nowhere to be seen and having been warned to be vigilant about get-ting taxis in Lima, I was panic-stricken. A friendly airport customer agent helped to solve my dilemma by arranging a ‘Green taxi” for me and I was soon on my way. My hotel, the Novo hotel was very modern and comfortable and upon arrival I was presented with a Pisco Sour…which is Peru’s official and delicious chilled cocktail blend, invented around 1900, using a Pisco (Peruvian grape brandy) fresh limes, sugar and is topped off with creamy egg white- absolutely delicious!

exhausted I fell into a deep dreamy sleep on my first night in Peru…

the next few days were work-filled, as I had to go out of the city

on a two and a half hour drive. We passed the murky misty Pacific coastlines, which reminded me of

Cornwall in the uK. Still relatively un-known as one of the best surf spots in the world, with waves at certain times of the year rivaling

Hawaii’s northern shores- surfing has swept the nation recently in a pop cultural frenzy and workers can be seen at 5-6am surfing before

heading off to work.

As we drove further out of town we passed beige desert like mountains for miles. this was an opportu-nity for me to see some of what my colleague Andres called the ‘real’ Peru. We drove past slum areas, Indig-enous people selling a wonderful variety of fruits and vegetables and along the roadsides an unforgettable place selling delicious, freshly baked bread in clay ovens, stuffed with cheese and meaty kalamata olives. I was ignorant to the fact that Peru produces some of

Main vessel and altar of Lima Cathedral. Main Square, Peru.

60 e woman magazine

PHOtO CredIt: urOSr/SHutterStOCK

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the best olive oil and olives in the world, rivaling that of Greece.

there is clearly an economic boom in Latin America and there is an air of anticipation and excitement. Lima is home to the largest finan-cial hub and this was evident by the influx of International businesses as well as national investment increasing at a rapid pace. Some parts of the city could have been London or New York, whilst others resembled Barcelona and others Mumbai.

My conversations with my companions (and now friends) that were looking after me throughout my stay, gave me an insight into what type of people the Latin Americans are- warm, compassionate, kind, spiritual, very family orientated with this mystical edge and belief in true love. reminiscent of the litera-ture that I love so much –deriving from the Inca-Indo influence from the spiritual – mysti-cal side and the Spanish, Latin being the foun-dation of the attitude prevalent in males who value and respect even honoring women and their families their priority. Catholicism is the primary religion in Peru, with some elements of Indo-spirituality.

Did I mention the food?! During my working week, I looked forward to the evenings of expe-riencing this amazing cuisine that I had heard so much about. I can honestly say hand on heart that I have never, ever tasted such incred-ible food. Besides the famous ceviche, a beauti-ful blend of fresh, raw fish marinated in lime, and spiced with ají or chili peppers topped with chopped coriander. Other less-known delights of fresh seafood in abundance the greenest luscious mint, basil, coriander sprin-kled on wild rice, fresh colorful crispy vegeta-bles that tasted like they had just been plucked from the earth, with a back-ground of the Gotan Project playing electro-tango fusion… so bliss that it felt surreal.

even the street food of my favorite snack- roasted salted corn pieces known as ‘chichas’ was simply amazing.

After spending my days working I had one free day that weekend before I was due to depart, – a Saturday which would be my own full day to explore as much of Lima as I possibly could.

the Friday evening, after my work was over I met up with a contact passed to me from a friend who had lived in Lima. I met with Gabi and we met for freshly squeezed passion fruit Pisco sours in the vibrant district of Miraflores. I loved it, it was an enormous square, full of life, families eating together, friends meeting at the common Latin time of 11pm onwards, some seedy parts but all in all very open and busy with some quirky little bars. It reminded me of Greece, Italy or Spain. electronic fusion of dance music, salsa and Selva (jungle) with live percussion belted out the open doorways.

there was so much to see, I spent the next two days exploring the best hole in the wall restaurants, the museums and bustling outdoor shopping areas, where I bought the most beautiful Christmas presents. there was so much to choose from; fine silver, handmade woven goods, boots, and blankets. It was a treas-ure trove. At the end of my trip, I was totally exhausted, but of all the plac-es I have visited, Lima will forever hold a special place in my heart. ❀

Peruvian Clay Mask

e woman magazine 61

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the wife of the Premier of the British Virgin Islands, Mrs. Lorna Creque Smith celebrated her 60th birthday in grand style at the Scrub Island resort on October 13th.

Lorna turns 60!

Lorna Smith, OBE

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1. Aria and Henry Creque2. Nidia Harrigan & Vanessa King-Johnson3. Charles and Joanna Tobias4. Garfield and Monique Neita5. Barbara and Percy Rhoden6. Delma & Audley Maduro

Dancia Penn-Sallah

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11 7. Dr. the Hon. D. Orlando Smith

& Mrs. Lorna Smith 8. Dr. Nagy Darwish and guests 9. Henry Creque, Lorna Smith,

Shirley Creque10. Nagy Darwish and guests11 . Lorna Smith, Deborah O’Neal

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