Opa und Oma Brunner in South Africa

1968-1991

By Jimi le Roux - January 2011

1. Their coming to South Africa and their early years

According to my calculations Opa und Oma (we said it together, in German) came to stay with us

from Germany at the end of 1968 – the year I went to school. I remember when they came; with

their belongings in two big crates (I don’t think they were the shipping containers we know today).

Opa und Oma’s furniture looked different than ours, with large white duvets and continental

cushions long before they became popular in South Africa. How would one sleep on such big

cushions? Their room was furnished like mother would do it, with table cloths reaching to the floor

and the walls covered with wallpaper. Very different than our friends’ houses looked like! We

stayed in 2 Spes Bona Ave, Belvedere, Parow at the time and our house’s top story rested partly on

two big pillars. Father closed in the overhang and converted the area into a generous apartment.

Opa und Oma’s bed stood right, with a lounge area in the middle, their dining area backward and the

kitchenette left at the back. The bathroom we had under our stairs now had an entrance to their

apartment. The pillars were closed off in cupboards.

Opa und Oma spoke only German, but we basically could converse, although we “little ones”

(Rhona and I) already substituted Afrikaans for German as mother tongue. Opa und Oma added a

new, very German, dimension to our house and it is absolutely due to them that we überhaubt can

Mother, Rhona and me at 2 Spes Bona Ave. The fact that I carry my Zuckertüte says that it is

the first day of my school career: January 1968. See at the back the work started to close

off the area underneath our living room to prepare for the coming of Opa und Oma.

manage ourselves in German the way we

do. Later on Opa und Oma had a

reasonable use of Afrikaans although they

would interchange “jou” (dich) and “jy”

(du), etc. and would interact nicely with

guests. Even so, later on they used

Afrikaans less and lost it, I think, as they

almost completely returned to German. It

was due to their world getting smaller as

they aged.

As “little ones” we had the most contact

with Opa und Oma and they introduced us

to new stories and games. I remember the

“Halma” board game that they had –

Halma being a neater version of Chinese

Chequers, which was on the back of the

board anyway. We often played it with

Opa und Oma. Another game Opa loved

was boules (which the French call

petanque) – although I think he had

another name for it. He had a set with

coloured balls (red, blue, yellow and green)

and a smaller ball. The small ball is thrown

ahead and each player tries to get with his

coloured ball as near to that as possible. On the big lawn of 2 Spes Bona Ave we often played it.

Opa’s big game, however, was chess. He made a ritual of it: the board was rolled out (made of

plastic coated textile), the pieces set out neatly, the drinks and eats made ready next to it. To play

with Opa was a slow and strategic process. He studied the board intently, whilst whistling lightly.

Then, after a long decision making, he would move a piece, very deliberately, keeping his hand on it

until he was sure that there were no threats left. The game would take

several hours. Piet and Friedhelm were actually the good players and

they gave Opa competition. They would gladly play with him, since his

opponents would receive a prize afterwards…. I could only play with

Opa later on – every game also being a lesson in chess!

Once, when Rhona and I were still small (I must have been 6 or 7), father and mother went out for

the evening. The arrangement that Opa und Oma would look after us wasn’t done very well and

they also went out to visit with some friends in the vicinity. Rhona and I went to Opa’s apartment,

but found no-one. We returned and stood by the window, waiting for father and mother to return

– around us it became dark but we just waited there, crying later on (me, at least), for two or three

hours. What a relief when we heard the well known sound of our car coming up the hill and around

the corner.

Opa und Oma

August 1968

Another memory I have from this period was

that Opa disliked cats, because Oma was

allergic to them. We had a cat from time to

time and one day Opa took a huge knife and

said that he was now going to cut the cat’s

head off. It was a joke of course, but

frightened us kids. With hindsight we knew

that Opa wanted us to keep the cat away

from Oma – she indeed died from an asthma

attack years later.

Opa was more precise in his approach than

we were in our house, and sometimes he

wanted to teach us more watchfulness by

hiding some of our toys that we left outside

overnight. It would become “lost” and later

on he would “find” it, and bring it to us, together with the lesson of being more careful. I think this

approach didn’t work much, because our toys weren’t worth so much and in those days nothing

would get lost, even though it would lie for a week outside. How ironical, since South Africa

nowadays is quite unsafe.

Opa enjoyed his food and drink, and to sit in a

restaurant and order something nice was always a

special time. It was never about big steaks or haute

cousine, just about the occasion. We would eat in

shopping centres, buffet types of places or

(sometimes) in a family type restaurant like the

Spur. Opa turned all these into an occasion. Eating

was a ritual for Opa. To savour the food and drink

(later on he would order a beer), to eat in his

deliberate and intentional way and chewing I think,

32 times, according to his belief in good living, were

all part of the experience. It was as if Opa found

more enjoyment in things that others took for

granted. Sometimes he would buy food that

seemed special like rolmops or other exotic,

imported foodstuffs, and if he didn’t like it, he would donate it to mother! Opa und Oma had small

and healthy portions. Oma would cook ordinary German food, like some meat and potato or some

vegetables. Together with that they would have some clear juice (in their special, smaller glasses

with a golden trim). They only ate rye bread, with good jams, and also liked cheese and cold meats.

Sometimes Oma also cooked for us, the kids. Sometimes Oma would make a sauce with the food,

and they also liked soup or pasta. They loved fruit.

They kept to a healthy lifestyle, eating like this, and avoiding too much fat and salt. We seldom had

fast foods – later on we would get KFC or so, which they liked. Opa had a unique approach to

exercise: in the mornings he would do exercises – basic stretches – and would then walk barefoot in

Jimi, Oma and Rhona on the other side of 2

Spes Bona (1973)

Oma and Jimi (1973) – 2 Spes Bona. At the

back of the photo it reads: Die anweisungen

der Polizei sind zu befolgen !!!

the dew on the grass. This habit, which he had for years, came from the big health book that they

believed in, i.e. Der Große Kneipp, which mother also used.

Opa und Oma loved going to the shops, and introduced us to a grander type of store. They liked

department stores such as Greatermans, Garlicks or Stuttafords (the reason was that they carried

German or imported goods). These were initially only in Cape Town, and in Stuttafords (which they

pronounced on the German (Shtoota-foor) had an escalator, which was quite an experience for us

kids. When we were in Stuttafords, we would also have something to eat in the in store cafeteria.

In 1974 father sold 2 Spes Bona Ave (was it

for R18 000 or R27 000 – shortly

afterwards prices increased drastically)

and the congregation built the church’s

manse at 6 Van Nierop Crescent,

Panorama (also in Parow). There again

Opa und Oma had a spacious apartment,

with an entrance from our side of the

house and also a separate entrance for

them, where Opa had a copper plate put

up: RC Brunner. At some stage during

that time Oma was sick for a while, I think.

Opa und Oma went to us to church on

Sundays. Opa would have his suit on, and

Oma also dressed up in the winter even

with gloves. With time they reasonably understood what father preached. Opa also preached from

time to time. Father would stand with him in the pulpit and translate sentence for sentence. Opa

would refer in his sermons to stories from Germany and the congregation enjoyed his messages.

They also were at other congregational activities and took part with freely. I remember one time

were Opa und Oma took part in a social event. Opa had a woman stand with a bowl in front and

then had some older men stand around her, bent slightly forward. “What verse in the Bible is

depicted by this scene?” “Rebecca gives water to the camels!” Another trick of Opa (and he was

good with tricks e.g. letting a coin disappear and “finding” it behind your ear, or in his shoe!) which

astounded the congregation (at the same event) was to go out and then perfectly guess which one

of three bowls in front a volunteer touched. In the meanwhile Oma would sit in the crowd, in three

possible ways: with the right hand against the chin, with the left hand against the chin, with no hand

against the chin….! The congregation loved them and they would be greeted every Sunday and

welcomed. The congregation called mother “Alma” (or just “Elma”), although she preferred the

name “Eva” – no one called her that in South Africa, however, because it was unusual for an ordinary

name. The first years Opa und Oma would go, for the sake of a German service, to the Lutheran

church in Bellville; later on they stopped going. They would also attend services from time to time at

the Stadtmission in Cape Town. On both places they made good friends.

These friends would come from time to time and visit with Opa und Oma – I am thinking particularly

of the Schlössers. They would come in their own car and visit the whole afternoon – eating, playing

chess, etc.

6 Van Nierop Crescent (1975) – with Opa und

Oma’s entrance.

Yes, Opa und Oma added a distinct German

dimension to our home. They loved to go to

German shops, e.g. Zerban’s in Cape Town to

buy rye bread or the German Christmas cookies

(which mother called pfefferkuchen, but what is

sold here as lebkuchen – probably two different

types). At first they were only available there.

At Christmas Opa would buy a Stollen – a typical

light fruit cake with marzipan. With Christmas

Oma would take out (as would mother) an

Adventskranz with wooden figurines of angels

playing music. Opa und Oma had beautiful

German Christmas decorations, typical wooden

nativity figures and (if I remember correctly) a

big paper star. Being partly German was a

definite part of our development.

In 1981 we moved again, to 29 Marinasingel, Panorama. The reason for this was that father

wanted to have his own house (as we stayed in the church’s house) as an investment for their

future.

2. How I remember Opa und Oma

Opa to me was a disciplined person – I think in his house rules would be followed! He had a precise,

thorough and systematic approach to life. German precision. I think of his saying: Vorsorg ist gut,

aber kontrolle ist besser! [Precautions are good, but controls are better!] which meant “let’s go and

see if it is done as it should be”.

Even so Opa was never, ever

evil or mean, on the contrary,

Opa was a gentleman, dignified,

self controlled, with good

manners towards others. He

had something of the

phlegmatic as well as the

choleric in him, and was good

natured and compatible. Even

when he was angry, he had self

control. Opa was intelligent

and full of witticisms and jokes.

I think his outstanding traits

were his integrity and love for

the Lord. For the death of me I

cannot see him as someone

who would contravene the law,

6 Van Nierop Crescent (1975)

Opa und Oma in front of their apartment at 6 Van Nierop Crescent,

Panorama (1975)

be false or twofaced or would pretend to be something that he is not. Since he gave his life to Jesus

as a young man, he served the Lord steadfastly. The blessing that I experience in my life, I directly

attribute to his life, and to my parents, who also devoutly served God. I also

endeavour, with God’s help, to live such a life as would bless my children.

Small things I remember of Opa is the smell of his Tabac aftershave, the Odol

mouthwash that he used, the stockings that he would wear with his sandals (which

South Africans don’t do), the freedom that he would, at his age, go swimming amidst a

beach full of people, or the free spirited volume with which he would call on Oma

“hallô” – right across the shopping centre or airport! I see Opa savouring his drink

slowly; almost closing his eyes as he deliberately enjoys it, and – in the way the Germans do – butter

his bread bite for bite together with good jam. I see him in the pulpit, busy proclaiming God’s

goodness and faithfulness.

I remember two stories that he told, illustrating God’s goodness in their life, and I hope that I

remember it correctly (the German family can help with this, please):

1) In the war or afterwards his family was without food and they prayed that the Lord would provide

for them, as He provided food for Elijah by sending ravens (1 Kings 17). Later on (the same day?)

there was a knock on the door and as they opened they found a basket of food, and someone just

leaving at the gate. Opa called “Who are you?” “Ich bin Herr Rabe” the answer came – “I am Mr

Rabe”, a well know surname in Germany, but also exactly meaning “I am Mr Raven”.

2) After Opa und Oma retired, they were allowed to leave

communist East Germany (“German Democratic Republic”) to

move to West Germany (“German Federal Republic”). There

they would stay a year (probably during 1967), receive West

German citizenship and qualify for a West German state

pension. Then they would come to South Africa and stay with

us. During that time in West Germany Opa sat on a train. A

stranger next to him asked: “Aren’t you Carl Brunner?” “Yes”,

Opa replied. The man introduced himself as a colleague with whom Opa worked many years ago,

before the war and before Opa went into fulltime ministry, at the Feldmühle, a paper mill company

with branches all over Germany (and currently Europe). The Feldmühle continued operations in

West Germany after the war and this man was in the meanwhile promoted to a high position. “We

still have your pension portfolio available at the company”, the man said and it was arranged. So it

happened that Opa also received a pension from his old company, as well as from the West German

government. What was in Deutschmark probably an average pension, was worth much more in

Rand. In this way the Lord looked after Opa und Oma.

Oma was in every respect a soft and loving person. She was a supporter, a home maker, a mother,

a peace maker. She was intelligent and loved God. I think of her as patient, someone who new

difficulty, but who learnt to always make the best with what life offered her. She was a real

grandmother to us, full of stories and jokes, never ever sharp or mean, opening windows for us onto

another generation, another time, another place. She added to our lives in every way.

3. Last years and the passing away of Opa und Oma

When we stayed in 29 Marina Crescent in Panorama, Parow (since 1981), father and mother

wanted to build their own, paid, house in order to get out of debt. While building the house (in

Gazania St 72, Kenridge Ext, Bellville) they had to temporarily rent a house in 2 Seder Ave,

Panorama. Opa did not want us to move, since he felt that they were settled in nicely in our current

house, and that the disruption would be too much for them as elderly people.

29 Marina Crescent (Des 1982). From left to right (back): Rhona and Gary Kieswetter, Oma und Opa Brunner,

Angela van Hansen, Rene and Friedhelm le Roux, mother; (front): father, Jaco and Wendy van Hansen. Oma

and father were still healthy here.

As in our previous houses, they occupied a separate flatlet, equipped with bathroom, a lounge

corner with chairs and table (where they daily had their quiet time at ten) and a kitchenette, where

Oma prepared their meals. Every now and then she made me a potato fritter – similar to a pancake,

but made from finely grated potato and onion, thinly fried in oil and served with sugar. They

enjoyed working in the garden and took from time to time a sonnenbad – just sitting in the sun;

dangerous actually with the African sun, but they enjoyed it, especially Opa (he had at this stage a

rather dark skin). I think this was the last season of their lives that they were carefree together.

Oma had from time to time an asthma attack. For this she carried an inhaler. One day, when all

were away and Opa and Oma were alone at home, she had an attack. The attack didn’t clear up and

she lost consciousness. Opa, already in his 80’s, ran about 1½ km up the street to a small shopping

centre where there were also doctor’s rooms. He burst in at a doctor in consultation and cried for

help in German and what Afrikaans he had. The doctor immediately got into his car and drove on

Opa’s instructions to our house, were he could revive Oma. Everyone suffered a fright and there

were increased tension about her condition. Her illness played a role in Opa’s aversion to moving,

since they knew the area. He also offered to contribute to the monthly bond repayments, if we

could only stay.

Father and mother however felt that their own long term planning, i.e. to have a debt free house,

weighed heavier and proceeded with their plans for it. The new house, which mother designed,

made again comfortable provision for Opa und Oma, and they would adapt there, they believed.

This was the only time that I know of that father and mother had a real difference of opinion with

Opa und Oma. Of course there were no harsh words, just extreme civility. (I have never heard

Opa scream, and Oma would only cry out when he would (later on) not be able to hear her and she

had to repeat what she said. Then we would, from whatever place in the home, would suddenly

hear her voice loudly with a phrase like: auf den Tisch!!!). Opa was not a happy man and I

remember, as we moved our belongings to our temporary house in Seder Ave (end of 1983) not too

far away, that Opa protested (out of reach of my parent’s ears): Das ist unheimlich! Even so they

adapted and I think the facts that we now stayed directly the doctor’s rooms, brought some

consolation. On the whole it wasn’t a happy time in Seder Ave, since father during this time learned

that he had brain cancer and also immediately began to deteriorate.

Oma’s condition also got worse and she had

more and more asthma attacks. They were

often at the doctor with her and at the end

got an oxygen cylinder which stood at her

bed. The asthma inhaler wasn’t sufficient

anymore. When she had a more serious

attack she had to receive oxygen, which

helped her to breathe better and calm

down. These attacks were such a suffering

since she would loudly struggle to breathe

and even cry out.

One day all of us were at home and Oma had

an attack. The inhaler didn’t help and we

gave her oxygen. Even so she struggled more and more to breathe and we suddenly realised that

she is not getting better, but worse. We quickly pulled out the car, my father’s yellow Peugeot 504,

and put her in the car. I drove, my father sat next to me in front, Oma was behind me in the back

seat with mother next to her. Opa stayed behind, crying and praying loudly. He would never see her

again. At top speed we hasted toward the Tygerberg Hospital, a road we knew well since my father

also got his treatments there. In the car behind me Oma moaned, trying to breath. About half way

to hospital (about 15 minute’s drive) she became quiet. When we came to the hospital, some of the

orderlies came to help us put her on a gurney and wheel her to the inside. A doctor was

immediately with her, but after a brief examination he looked to us, shrugged a little and said that

she was gone. During that trip to the hospital Oma went to Jesus – 7 February 1984.

Tygerberg Hospital, Parow

Without her we went back and mother and father told Opa the sad news. He was inconsolable.

Opa und Oma always told us that they were so close to each other that they would and wanted to

die together. Indeed they did everything together, and had the most beautiful marriage that I have

ever seen. Opa was the head of the home, surely, but he was a gentleman and very, very dependent

on his wife. What would he do without her? He cried for days. Shortly after that he requested a

ministering opportunity in our church in which he personally and officially (since everyone knew the

news by that time) informed the congregation of his great loss. I later have found the text in his

New Testament, which I have with me, and attach it herewith. Opa used the opportunity to make an

invitation to follow Jesus. I think it must have been his last sermon.

Oma never lived in the newly built

house in Gazania Street, but Opa

did. The house was finished by

October 1984 (I had to take

responsibility for this) and father

died there some months later, on

29 July 1985. Opa’s life changed in

the sense that he was alone, and

stayed in more. He and mother

were now alone together and he

became more dependent on her.

Now and then there were some

frustration – held privately, of

course – in the sense that mother

looked forward to a retirement

with father, and now had the life

mission of caring for her elderly

father.

After father’s death, mother didn’t want to stay in Gazania St anymore, and she sold the house

(which had a beautiful view over the Tyger Valley Centre (then being built) for a measly amount of

R95 000, I think. There were too many bad memories – she also was very, very sick during that time

and father by that time was so

confused and incoherent that he

could do nothing to help, but to

kneel at her bed and pray and cry.

It was on my shoulders, as a

student of 23, to take responsibility

for everything and this remains a

ghastly time, of which I would

rather not think. Many, many tears

flowed there. We then moved back

to Parow and occupied Welgelegen

Villas 13 (in Welgelegen, next to

Panorama) as of October 1985.

Gazaniastr 72, Bellville (Des 1984). Opa, mother, father (now

seriously ill) and me.

After about two and a half years they moved to Chardonnay Villas, also in Welgelegen (beginning

1987), to stay closer to Friedhelm, that lived just a block or two from them. Here they shared a new

but small maisonette with two bedrooms and two bathrooms. In the meanwhile I left home: I was

in the boarding house at Stellenbosch University in 1986, and went to the army in 1987. On 3

October 1987 Maryke and I got married and put up our own little home in Parow Park.

Mother and Opa found a certain rhythm in living together the last five years that they were alone.

Here own illnesses improved after father’s passing away and Opa initially didn’t have serious

conditions. He merely became old (he was 85 plus) and his world became smaller. He still had his

own room and bathroom, but smaller and no kitchen or living section. He spent a lot of time in his

room. He would read his Bible,

have his quiet time and pray

audibly. Apart of that, he didn’t

read much, as far as I can

remember, but watched television

(especially the Nachrichten,

although he didn’t understand

much) and only very occasionally

would receive a visit from a

German friend. If someone would

visit mother, he would come join

us, but after a while go to his room

again. He loved to show us his

photos and talk about his family,

though.

Opa appreciated good eating, but always in small portions, e.g. having one slice of rye bread for

supper. I remember that we ate with them in the Saddles restaurant one day, right behind

Chardonnay Villas. Mother and Opa ordered one schnitzel to share, and the kitchen divided it for

them on two plates, together with the (shared) potato chips and sides. Each of them ate only half of

their portions, and took the rest of it home in a doggy bag: food for another day! Opa made the

smaller meals himself, and mother prepared a cooked meal for them both per day. Opa would

gladly make coffee or tea for everyone in the house.

Playing chess remained one of his loves, and he would make it into a whole ritual. Later on he

stopped playing. His memory would leave him in the lurch from time to time and I remember one

Christmas where he addressed his gift only to Der Sohn des Hauses, forgetting my name for the

moment. One Christmas he gave me a tin full of coins – perhaps worth R2 – but at other times he

would give us, for no reason at all, R100 or even more. The last years he would not go to church

anymore, because he couldn’t understand and also stayed away from the shops, because he came to

walk with difficulty. Previously going to the shop would be a special occasion and he would gladly

buy something special for the table. Mother’s provision for the upkeep wasn’t enough and Opa

contributed generously for them. There were some things that irritated mother, e.g. his way of

repeating the same sentences, or his habit of washing his own dishes immediately after eating under

a meagre stream of cold water from the tap, whilst mother would say: “Leave that, I will wash it

together with the other dishes”.

Jun 1987

In the last year of Opa’s life he really appeared very old, also since he didn’t shave anymore. His

grey beard, sunken eyes and slow and painful gait (he had a bad back and rose and sat with

difficulty) had him look very old and forlorn. He appeared dejected and spoke and prayed about

death. Life didn’t hold much more for him and he wanted to be with Oma. For mother it became

difficult to care for him, since he needed help to bathe, etc. His whole life, at that stage, was

focused on her. At the end of 1990 she went to stay with Angela in Pretoria – the first time that they

would stay out of the Cape Town area. Angela and Piet prepared a spacious apartment for them at

their house in

Salvokop and they

moved there in the

beginning of 1991.

At that time we

stayed in Benoni

(Johannesburg area)

– about an hour’s

drive – and we

visited with them

twice, I think, during

January.

On 31 January we

heard the shocking

news by telephone of

mother’s totally

unexpected death by

stroke. She was only 64 – we thought that Opa would go first (being almost 90) and that mother

would have some more years left. Now Opa was completely on his own, in his extreme age, in

Africa in an unknown city with relatively unknown caretakers. Angela’s German wasn’t too good

anymore, but it sufficed and she and Piet cared for Opa with much effort and kindness. Piet, e.g.

would bath Opa – they also arranged for a full time nurse to care for him. We remember that it was

difficult for Opa to comprehend what happened to mother and he would ask after her for days. I

think when the facts sank in, it spelled the end for him as well. He made it clear that he wanted the

Lord to come for him. He was withered and tired. His prayers were full of longing and crying for

heaven. Slightly more than two weeks after mother’s death, Piet found him in his bed (17 February

1991), passed away to be with Oma and the Lord Jesus whom he served with such passion. His

heart has simply given up – we had the idea that his spirit has released its hold on life and that his

body merely followed suit.

His ashes were scattered on Oma’s grave in Stikland Graveyard, Bellville. They made it clear that

there should not be a memorial of a kind erected, since they were not in their own country. For us it

also signified something of their lives: simple, authentic, passing, the eyes always fixed on Jesus and

the true heimat.

Our best memories of Opa und Oma come from the time when they were younger and stronger,

but unto the end they impressed us with their dignity, love towards each other and their

commitment to the Lord. It was a privilege to know you, Opa und Oma.

July 1990 – Chardonnay Villas, Panorama, Parow. Me, Opa and mother.