PerfectionismPerfectionism in the in the

Gifted ChildGifted ChildMary K. ChanceMary K. Chance

EDU 436EDU 436Dr. HolderDr. Holder

6/16/086/16/08

What is Perfectionism?What is Perfectionism?Webster defines it as:Webster defines it as:

1. the quality or state of being perfect: as  freedom from fault or defect1. the quality or state of being perfect: as  freedom from fault or defect

22.  the quality or state of being saintly .  the quality or state of being saintly

3. 3.  an exemplification of supreme excellence an exemplification of supreme excellence 4. 4.  an unsurpassable degree of accuracy an unsurpassable degree of accuracy

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/perfection

WOW – That’s a pretty heavy WOW – That’s a pretty heavy definition to live up to – isn’t it?definition to live up to – isn’t it?

And that’s where the problem begins. People actually try to be perfect!

The sources examined seem The sources examined seem to agree that most to agree that most

perfectionists fall into two perfectionists fall into two categories – or somewhere categories – or somewhere

in between:in between:Healthy Perfectionism Healthy Perfectionism

andandUn-Healthy perfectionism!Un-Healthy perfectionism!

Healthy Un -Healthy

Level with us Level with us How much of a perfectionist How much of a perfectionist

are you?are you?Healthy perfectionism leads one to strive for excellence.

Unhealthy perfectionism takes over one’s life and leaves no room for error.

For example, a healthy perfectionist would be content to be a tiny fraction of a bubble off!

An unhealthy perfectionist must have that bubble perfectly centered.

Healthy PerfectionismHealthy Perfectionism

Healthy perfectionism is a positive Healthy perfectionism is a positive characteristic that drives high effort and characteristic that drives high effort and accomplishment.accomplishment.

Healthy perfectionists derive strong Healthy perfectionists derive strong pleasure from their concentrated effort.pleasure from their concentrated effort.

Healthy perfectionists can adjust their Healthy perfectionists can adjust their work level as the situation requireswork level as the situation requires

Healthy perfectionism can also be referred Healthy perfectionism can also be referred to as the pursuit of excellence.to as the pursuit of excellence.

Sources: Davis, page 434

Adderholdt, p. 6

Unhealthy PerfectionismUnhealthy Perfectionism

Unhealthy perfectionists strain Unhealthy perfectionists strain compulsively toward impossible goals.compulsively toward impossible goals.

Unhealthy perfectionists set unrealistic Unhealthy perfectionists set unrealistic standards for themselves.standards for themselves.

Unhealthy perfectionists see mistakes as Unhealthy perfectionists see mistakes as evidence of their own unworthinessevidence of their own unworthiness

Unhealthy perfectionists live in a constant Unhealthy perfectionists live in a constant state of anxiety about making mistakes.state of anxiety about making mistakes.

Sources: RIAGE, page 1

Adderholdt, p. 4

Healthy Healthy PerfectionismPerfectionism

Unhealthy Unhealthy PerfectionismPerfectionism

Doing the research necessary for a Doing the research necessary for a term paper, working hard on it, term paper, working hard on it, turning it in on time and feeling turning it in on time and feeling good about what you learnedgood about what you learned

Doing three drafts, staying up two Doing three drafts, staying up two nights in a row, and handing your nights in a row, and handing your paper in late because you just had paper in late because you just had to have it perfectto have it perfect

Studying for a test, taking it with Studying for a test, taking it with confidence and feeling good about confidence and feeling good about getting a 96getting a 96

Cramming right up to the last Cramming right up to the last minute, taking the test with sweaty minute, taking the test with sweaty palms, and feeling badly about palms, and feeling badly about your 96 because your friend got a your 96 because your friend got a 98.98.

Being willing to try new things, take Being willing to try new things, take risks, and learn from your risks, and learn from your experiences and your mistakesexperiences and your mistakes

Avoiding new experiences because Avoiding new experiences because you are terrified of making you are terrified of making mistakes – especially in publicmistakes – especially in public

In a nutshellIn a nutshell

Healthy perfectionists know Healthy perfectionists know

their limits and strive for excellence. their limits and strive for excellence.

They use their talents to the fullest extent of their They use their talents to the fullest extent of their capabilities.capabilities.

They realize they do not have to be perfect to be They realize they do not have to be perfect to be successful and loved.successful and loved.

Unhealthy perfectionism – Unhealthy perfectionism – Unhealthy Perfectionism is also referred to as Unhealthy Perfectionism is also referred to as

neurotic perfectionismneurotic perfectionism – for a good reason. – for a good reason.

The word The word NEUROTICNEUROTIC comes from the word comes from the word neurosis which means: a mental and emotional neurosis which means: a mental and emotional disorder that affects only part of the personality, disorder that affects only part of the personality, is accompanied by a less distorted perception of is accompanied by a less distorted perception of

reality than in a psychosis, does not result in reality than in a psychosis, does not result in disturbance of the use of language, and is disturbance of the use of language, and is

accompanied by various physical, physiological, accompanied by various physical, physiological, and mental disturbances (as visceral symptoms, and mental disturbances (as visceral symptoms,

anxieties, or phobias) anxieties, or phobias)

(SOUNDS CREEPY, DOESN’T IT)(SOUNDS CREEPY, DOESN’T IT)

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/neurosis

Neurotic perfectionists rarely Neurotic perfectionists rarely considers himself a success.considers himself a success.

Source: Adderholdt, p. 23

Seriously:Seriously: Neurotic Perfectionists often:Neurotic Perfectionists often:

Make themselves sick trying to maintain high gradesMake themselves sick trying to maintain high grades Have sweaty palms and an accelerated heart rate Have sweaty palms and an accelerated heart rate

before a testbefore a test Compulsively compare grades with those of other Compulsively compare grades with those of other

good studentsgood students Work alone because no one else is as good as they Work alone because no one else is as good as they

areare Are resentful of editorial changes in their workAre resentful of editorial changes in their work Avoid new experiences that pose a threat a failure.Avoid new experiences that pose a threat a failure. Are overly preciseAre overly precise May resort to cheating to get the highest grades.May resort to cheating to get the highest grades.

Source: Davis, p. 435

Negative Consequences of Negative Consequences of Neurotic PerfectionismNeurotic Perfectionism

Low self-esteem – “I’m never good enough”Low self-esteem – “I’m never good enough” Guilt – “I could have handled that better”Guilt – “I could have handled that better” Pessimism – “I’ll never be a success”Pessimism – “I’ll never be a success” Depression – “I’ll never succeed?” Depression – “I’ll never succeed?” Suicidal tendencies – “Why go on?”Suicidal tendencies – “Why go on?” Obsessiveness – “It isn’t perfect yet, I can’t Obsessiveness – “It isn’t perfect yet, I can’t

stop”stop” Lack of motivation – “It will never be perfect so Lack of motivation – “It will never be perfect so

why try?”why try?” Immobilization – “ It is better to do nothing than Immobilization – “ It is better to do nothing than

it is to fail!”it is to fail!”Source: http://www.coping.org/growth/perfect.htm

Things unhealthy Things unhealthy perfectionists say:perfectionists say:

My family expects me to win, I can’t My family expects me to win, I can’t let them downlet them down

If I don’t do that, everyone will be so If I don’t do that, everyone will be so disappointed.disappointed.

No, its still 1/32 of an inch off!No, its still 1/32 of an inch off! I can’t believe I got one question I can’t believe I got one question

wrong – maybe the teacher is wrong!wrong – maybe the teacher is wrong! It would have been perfect if I could It would have been perfect if I could

have done it myself.have done it myself.

In a nutshellIn a nutshell

Unhealthy perfectionism is Unhealthy perfectionism is

dangerous and can lead to dangerous and can lead to

serious mental and physical problems serious mental and physical problems including immobilization, withdrawal including immobilization, withdrawal eating disorders, self-harm,eating disorders, self-harm,

Unhealthy Perfectionists often need help Unhealthy Perfectionists often need help to give themselves permission to fail.to give themselves permission to fail.

Perfectionism and the Gifted Perfectionism and the Gifted StudentStudent

It is estimates that half the population of It is estimates that half the population of the U.S. has perfectionist tendencies. the U.S. has perfectionist tendencies.

For gifted students, and proportion is For gifted students, and proportion is closer to 85%closer to 85%

Teachers and parents of gifted students Teachers and parents of gifted students need to be aware of this characteristic and need to be aware of this characteristic and how to help our children cope with it.how to help our children cope with it.

Source: Davis, p. 435

What can Parents do?What can Parents do? Recognize the positive and negative traits of Recognize the positive and negative traits of

perfectionism.perfectionism. Model acceptance of your own mistakes, and let your Model acceptance of your own mistakes, and let your

child know you are not perfect.child know you are not perfect. Help your child set realistic standards for themselves.Help your child set realistic standards for themselves. Teach the concept of constructive failureTeach the concept of constructive failure Assure your child that your love for him is unconditional Assure your child that your love for him is unconditional

and not contingent on his successes or failures.and not contingent on his successes or failures. Don’t let study interfere with healthy eating and sleeping!Don’t let study interfere with healthy eating and sleeping! Be on the look out for physical symptoms, i.e. nausea on Be on the look out for physical symptoms, i.e. nausea on

days of tests, excessive nervousness, loss of humordays of tests, excessive nervousness, loss of humor Seek professional help when perfectionism becomes Seek professional help when perfectionism becomes

neurotic.neurotic.

Source: http://www.riage.org/perfectionism.html

What can Teachers Do?What can Teachers Do? Recognize the positive and negative traits of Recognize the positive and negative traits of

perfectionism.perfectionism. Expect excellence but not perfection from your students Expect excellence but not perfection from your students

–talk with your students about the difference.–talk with your students about the difference. Use rubrics and specific criteria for assignments, show Use rubrics and specific criteria for assignments, show

examples of exemplary products.examples of exemplary products. Help all students set realistic goals.Help all students set realistic goals. Provide a safe environment for failure.Provide a safe environment for failure. Do not grade all assignmentsDo not grade all assignments Use humor in the classroomUse humor in the classroom Seek assistance from school counselors.Seek assistance from school counselors.

Source: http://www.riage.org/perfectionism.html

BibliographyBibliographyAdderholdt, Miriam and Jan Goldberg. Adderholdt, Miriam and Jan Goldberg. Perfectionism: What’s Bad About Being Perfectionism: What’s Bad About Being

too Good?too Good? Rev. Ed. Minneapolis, Free Spirit, 1999.

Davis, Gary and Sylvia Rimm. Education of the Gifted and Talented. 5th ed. Boston, Pearson, 2004.

National Association for Gifted Children. “Peferctionism.” Accessed 6/15/08. National Association for Gifted Children. “Peferctionism.” Accessed 6/15/08. http://www.nagc.org/index.aspx?id=1214..

Rhode Island Advocates for Gifted Education. “Perfectionism and the Gifted Rhode Island Advocates for Gifted Education. “Perfectionism and the Gifted Adolescent. Accessed 6/15/08. Adolescent. Accessed 6/15/08. http://www.riage.org/perfectionism.html

“Tools for Personal Growth: Overcoming Perfectionism.” Accessed 6/15/08. http://www.coping.org/growth/perfect.htm.

““Webster’s online dictionary. Accessed 6/15/08. Webster’s online dictionary. Accessed 6/15/08. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary