Personal Oral Essay: Peer Revision Sheet Writ er’s Name:__________________ Editor’s Name:___________________ Read the essay through from start to finish. % Doe s t he e ss ay have an e ff ecti ve i ntroduct ion th at makes you want to read mor e? % Does the wri ter clea rl y st ate his /he r be lie f i n th e intr oduc ti on ( eit her at t he begi nni ng or en d)? % Does the wr it er use appropri at e language given the general nat ur e of the audience ? (T oo complex will alienate the audience–but so will language that is too casual) % Does t he wri ter t el l a s tory f rom hi s or her own l if e to il lustrate t he bel ie f? % Is t her e good focus thr oug hout th e essay? (or does it make you forget what t he wr it er’s belief statement was?) % Does th e ess ay conc lude by exp la in ing how the exper ie nce has help ed hi m/ her devel op this belief? Strengths: Identify one strength in this essay. Please make sure you refer to the list we developed in class: % Ef fect ive int roduct ion tha t tell s you what t he es sa y is ab out a nd make s you want to r ead mor e. Accessible language % Lo oks at an ide a i n a fre sh an d ori gi na l way. % Inspiring but r ealistic. % Good focus % Real life examples % T ells a story % Strong imagery % May use humour

Personal Oral Essay Peer Edit

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Personal Oral Essay: Peer Revision Sheet

Writer’s Name:__________________ Editor’s Name:___________________

Read the essay through from start to finish.

% Does the essay have an effective introduction that makes you want to read more?% Does the writer clearly state his/her belief in the introduction (either at the beginning or end)?

% Does the writer use appropriate language given the general nature of the audience? (Too

complex will alienate the audience–but so will language that is too casual)% Does the writer tell a story from his or her own life to illustrate the belief?

% Is there good focus throughout the essay? (or does it make you forget what the writer’s belief

statement was?)

% Does the essay conclude by explaining how the experience has helped him/her develop this belief?

Strengths: Identify one strength in this essay. Please make sure you refer to the list we developed inclass:

% Effective introduction that tells you what the essay is about and makes you want to read more.Accessible language

% Looks at an idea in a fresh and original way.

% Inspiring but realistic.

% Good focus

% Real life examples

% Tells a story

% Strong imagery

% May use humour

I found _______________________________________________________________________

strong because__________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

Suggestions: Identify something the writer could try or leave out in order to make the essay

stronger.

You might want to consider_______________________________________________________ because________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________

Please hand this in with your rough draft and template