Professional Editor's Corner: Squinting Modifiers

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• Clear writing is essential, especially nowadays. According to a recent study Microsoft conducted (May 2015), the average attention span for an adult fell from 12 seconds in 2000 to 8 seconds in 2015. Readers grow frustrated when they do not quickly grasp the meaning of a sentence. That coupled with our falling attention spans (since the mobile technology revolution) means that any confusion in your writing can cause readers to click away. To offer some help, we’re going to talk more about modifiers. They are much more important than you think. We’ve already discussed misplaced and dangling modifiers, so you may remember that a modifier is a word, phrase, or clause that provides additional detail about some other element in a sentence. Readers expect modifiers to lie immediately before or after what they describe. A misplaced modifier modifies the wrong word or words (the mistake is obvious). A dangling modifier does not seem to logically “go with” any word or words in the sentence.

• In addition to dangling and misplaced, incorrectly situated modifiers come in one other form: squinting. A squinting modifier is one that could logically “go with” one of two words or phrases and usually (but not always) sits between those two words or phrases. In this case, readers do not know which word or words the modifier is offering additional detail about.

• Let’s look at some examples to understand the difference. The modifier is in bold.

• Misplaced Modifier

• Original: The rabbit tried to escape the hunter diving into a bush and hiding beneath the branches.

• Clearly the hunter isn’t diving into a bush and hiding. The rabbit must be. So we can revise by moving that part to the beginning.

• Revision: Diving into a bush and hiding beneath the branches, the rabbit tried to escape the hunter.

• Dangling Modifier

• Original: To win the race, practice is necessary.

• Clearly “practice” is not trying to win the race.

• Revision: To win the race, I must practice.

• Squinting Modifier

• John said during class Tom acted nervous.

• This modifier is squinting because readers don’t know whether John made this comment during class or Tom acted nervous during class. Either makes sense. So we need to move the modifier to the beginning or the end of the sentence depending on which is true.

• Case 1: During class, John said Tom acted nervous.

• Case 2: John said Tom acted nervous during class.

• Let’s look at some more examples of squinting modifiers.

• 1. Inform Mr. Smith before the meeting that the CEO wants to see him.

• Is the informing supposed to occur before the meeting? Or is Mr. Smith supposed to see the CEO before the meeting? This sentence does not make that clear. Again, we need to move the modifier to the beginning or the end of the sentence depending on what we mean.

• Case 1: Before the meeting, inform Mr. Smith that the CEO wants to see him.

• Case 2: Inform Mr. Smith that the CEO wants to see him before the meeting.

• 2. The causeway has a drawbridge to allow the passage of large boats from which fishing is prohibited.

• Is fishing prohibited from the drawbridge? Or the large boats? Here we need to set the modifier off with commas and make sure it sits next to what it modifies.

• Case 1: The causeway has a drawbridge, from which fishing is prohibited, to allow the passage of large boats.

• Case 2: The causeway has a drawbridge to allow the passing of large boats, from which fishing is prohibited.

• There you go! You’re now one step closer to keeping your audience engaged.

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