REALREAL DADS DADS Get Them ReadyGet Them Ready

Ephesians 6:4Colossians 3:21

Ephesians 6:4Ephesians 6:4

• And fathers, don't stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Dangers to Avoid:Dangers to Avoid: AngerAnger

• “Don't stir up anger in your children”

• Amp: “Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger”

• Weymouth: “Do not irritate your children”

Four Approaches Four Approaches to Parentingto Parenting

• AutocraticAutocratic: You’ll do it my way because I said so

• PermissivePermissive: You can do anything you want

• NeglectfulNeglectful: I don’t really care what you do

• RelationalRelational: I’m listening… I care… I want to understand… We’ll do it this way this time because…

Josh McDowell, The Father Connection

Ways to exasperate Ways to exasperate your children:your children:

• Unclear Expectations• Demands beyond their ability• Unexpected Anger• Undue Severity• Partiality• Inconsistent Discipline

Dangers to Avoid:Dangers to Avoid: DiscouragementDiscouragement

• Colossians 3:21 “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so they won't become discouraged.”

• Literally, to take the spirit out of

Ways children are Ways children are discouraged:discouraged:

• Continual fault finding• Ridiculing them as persons• High on demands; low on praise• High on control; low on support• Cursing at them• “You are just like your father”• “Why can’t you be more like __ ?”

Build Up to Build Up to MaturityMaturity

• “Bring them up”• Weymouth:

“Bring them up tenderly”• Literally:

“To nourish up to maturity”

Train and Train and DisciplineDiscipline

• “Bring them up in the trainingtraining and instruction of the Lord.”

• Amp: “Training and discipline”• The whole training and education

of children to cultivate their minds and morals

• Whatever cultivates the soul, esp. to correct mistakes and curb passions.

Training Training ObjectivesObjectives

• Self-Control– Proverbs 25:28 “A person without self-

control is as defenseless as a city with broken-down walls.”

• Respect– Proverbs 22:15 “Foolishness is bound up

in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.”

– Foolishness: – 1) of one who despises wisdom – 2) of one who mocks when guilty – 3) of one who is quarrelsome

• Cooperation vs. Self-centered• Ability to stand alone

– Psalms 144:1 “Blessed be the LORD my Rock, Who trains my hands for war, And my fingers for battle”

• To establish “normal”– What you grow up with is what you

think is normal.– Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in

the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.”

The Ultimate Goal The Ultimate Goal of Parentingof Parenting

• The ultimate goal of parenting is The ultimate goal of parenting is to transfer control of civilization to transfer control of civilization to the next generation.to the next generation.

-Dave Simmons, Dad, The Family Mentor

Instruct and CounselInstruct and Counsel

• “Bring them up in the training and instructioninstruction of the Lord.”

• Amp: “Counsel and admonition of the Lord”

• Vincent: “Training by word of mouth”

• Hodge: “To put in mind”

Instruct and CounselInstruct and Counsel

• Deuteronomy 6:7, NLT “Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are away on a journey, when you are lying down and when you are getting up again.”

Instruct and CounselInstruct and Counsel

• Faith – The ability to trust God• Doctrine – The truth about God• Understanding – The ability to

relate the principles of Scripture to the situations of life

• Discernment – The ability to distinguish good from evil, truth from error, and evil people from good