REVISING SUMMARIES Captain America: The Test

1ST STEP: CHECK FORMAT Captain America: The Test

DO YOU SEE THIS?

OR THIS? WILL APPEARANCE INFLUENCE CREDIBILITY?

2ND STEP: CHECK CONTENT Captain America: The Test

REVISE TITLE

A title should suggest the content and tone for the reader.A simple method to develop a title is a two part title.

the general topic: the narrow topicIt should never be the assignment.

Examples: Essay 1, Summary, Persuasive Essay It should NOT be a complete sentence. It should NOT be too broad, just the general topic. It SHOULD BE narrow enough to suggest the content of the essay.

REVISE TITLE

the general topic: the narrow topicCaptain America: The Test

Steven Rogers: His Test to become Captain AmericaBUT NOT Captain America: The First Avenger

Too broad – the summary is not about the entire movie.

Summary

Summary is the assignment

Steven Rogers is tested.

This title is a complete sentence.

3RD STEP: CHECK MECHANICS

Captain America: The Test

CAPITALIZATION

Wrong Captain America: the first Avenger

The Doctor saw Steven. The Dr. saw Steven. Schmidt, who is a Nazi Doctor, is evil.

The Commander tossed the grenade.

Right Captain America: The First Avenger

The doctor saw Steven. Dr. Erskine saw Steven. Schmidt, who is a Nazi doctor, is evil.

The commander tossed the grenade.

Then Commander Smith called attention.

IF YOU DON’T KNOW THE EXACT WORDS, USE INDIRECT QUOTES

When Erskine asked why Steven wants to go in the army, he replies “To stop bullies, not to kill people.”

When Erskine asked Steven if he wants to kill Nazis, he replies that he does not want to kill anyone; he wants to stop bullies.

When Erskine comes to talk to Steven, he asked the doctor, “Why was I chosen.”

When Erskine comes to talk to Steven, he asked the doctor why he was chosen.

QUOTES AND PUNCTUATION

Periods and commas go inside. Erskine replied, “I supposed that is the only question that counts.”

Question marks (and exclamation points) If the quote is a question, the question mark goes inside.

Steven asked, “Why me?” If the quote is a statement within a question, the question mark goes

outside.

Was it the captain who said, “He’s still skinny”? Never use double end marks. … skinny. ” ?

PUNCTUATION: APOSTROPHES

Use apostrophes to show possession. Do not use contractions in formal writing. Do NOT use apostrophes to form plurals. NOT see’s BUT sees

CHECK FOR COMPLETE SENTENCES (FRAG)

That the serum would turn good to great and worse to worst.

While everyone struggles to climb the flagpole. Rogers stands back and observes.

CHECK FOR RUN-ON AND COMMA SPLICE (RO)

(CS)

All the men began to start to climb the pole after

a while they were told to stop. Rogers walks up

to the pole after everyone moved away, and

examines the pole he sees that there’s pin at the

bottom he pulls the pin and the pole falls to the

ground.

CHECK FOR RUN-ON AND COMMA SPLICE (RO)

(CS)

All the men began to start to climb the pole.

After a while they were told to stop. Rogers

walks up to the pole after everyone moved

away, and examines the pole. He sees that there

is pin at the bottom. He pulls the pin and the

pole falls to the ground. He gets the flag.

BE ACCURATE (X- OBVIOUS FAULT)

Dr. Schmidt makes Rogers life hard.

AVOID YOU

Only use you if you are talking directly to me (this would be rare).

Otherwise, use people, soldiers, students—whoever it is that the you represents.

AVOID BEGINNING SENTENCES WITH A FANBOYS CONJUNCTION

Yet, Dr. Erskine is looking at who the person is on the inside not out, which is why he wants Rogers.

So the general throws a grenade out into the group of soldiers where both Hodges and Rogers are exercising.

BROAD PRONOUN REFERENCE

Error:

Dr. Erskine is looking at the soldiers’ character, to what he is on the inside not out, which is why he wants Rogers.

Correstion:

Dr. Erskine is looking at the soldiers’ character, to what he is on the inside not out. Erskine wants Rogers because he is a good person, who is honest and compassionate.

Or:

Dr. Erskine is looking at the soldiers’ character, to what he is on the inside not out. Erskine’s focus is why he wants Rogers.