Sarman Bhullar The audacity. ¢â‚¬“My hard earned guala??? Being taken by our ineffective governance??¢â‚¬â€Œ

  • View

  • Download

Embed Size (px)

Text of Sarman Bhullar The audacity. ¢â‚¬“My hard earned guala??? Being taken by...

  • 2

    Q1.) Favourite Floor excluding your current one?


    Q2.) If you weren’t in Nursing, what would you be doing?

    Tattoo Artist

    Q3.) 3 words to describe your job with the LHSA

    Pls help me

    Q4.) Who’s your favourite LHSA Exec?

    I love them all equally. Such a hardworking and passionate group of individuals

    Q5.) If you were an animal, which one would you be?

    A Sloth

    Q6.) Favourite cocktail?

    Long island iced tea

    Q7.) Caf pizza or doms?

    Doms all the way!!

    Q.8) Go to doms order?

    Medium pep + ranch cup

    Q.9) What’s your hidden talent?

    I can fist my ENTIRE FIST in my mouth. Does this count? I’m also really good at ruining my life (jk memes)

    Q.10) What song makes you cry?

    I need some sleep– Eels. That song hits me right in the feels.

    Q.11) Who do you snapchat the most?

    My “thots’ groupchat.

    Q.12) When are you planning on watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy?


    Q.13) Favourite dodgeball player?

    I recent met Wesley on my team. He’s so sweet and good at the game. The perfect embodiment of the four pillars.

    Sarman Bhullar

    18 Questions-President Edition (Nicole Inglis)

  • 3

    Q14.) If you could move any dodgeball player to your floor, who would it be?

    Sarman so he can pull me to the backwall in doctor like he pulls me through life. ilu

    Q15.) Favourite Disney Movie?

    Monsters Inc

    Q16.) Favourite Disney Song?

    You’ve got a friend in me from toy story

    Q17.) Your favourite quote?

    “Sometimes you yeet life and life yeets you.”

    Q18.) Your Rice Purity Test?

    19! Welp !!

    Get your own Rice purity test at:

  • 4

    Ever wondered why Main Dungeon Henday seems to be obsessed with a chicken?

    Well, Carl the Cock was originally 7K’s mascot and they like the cock. However, MDH LOVES THE

    COCK. You probably already know this because they can’t stop yelling it out! MDH started stealing

    the cock decades ago and brought him to their dodgeball games. They also made Carl the Cock a tin-

    der account so make sure to super like when you see him!

    There are strict rules when it comes to cock stealing; stealers have to be 7K or MDH members ONLY.

    Carl must be kept in his case at all times (he has broken out a few times, no need to fret as he’s very

    resilient and always makes a full recovery). On multiple occasions Carl has been hurt. He always

    comes out of a sticky situation thanks to the FCs who take out the time to restore Carl and his cage.

    So if you see someone taking Carl, just let it happen as you can always steal him back. Carl only

    hangs out in public areas such as the kitchen, lounge and the neutral bathroom on dungeon. He just

    loves people! Last year 7K had Carl the most and MDH mostly just stole it for their dodgeball games

    and on 3am drunken adventures, but this year MDH has had Carl most of the time. We’ll see how the

    rest of the year plays out. If you are ever on 7K or MDH make sure to say hi to Carl!

    Alexis Jones

    Floor History: 7K, MDH, and THE COCK!

  • 5

    *Please Play “On the pure and the damned” by Oneohtrix Point*

    It’s that time of year. The leaves are falling, classes are in full swing, and you find yourself wading through a mess of dust-induced filth. “What!” you yell as someone tells you that housekeeping does not cover your private domicile. This is new information, you need a new game plan for the year. How in the hell does someone clean a room? Begrudgingly you walk out to the lounge and pick up the floor copy of The Lighthouse to clear your mind and begin to flip through. Something catches your eye, “Vacuum rentals? Easier than you think.” Your mind is blank, unable to comprehend if there is actually a divine being watching over you, holding your hand in these times of peril, feeding you the information you crave.

    You scan over the paragraphs in your hands. The article tells you in simplistic terms,

    “You may rent vacuums during tower VP office hours.”

    It is treating you like a child, and you do not like that. However, you need this, your roommate has begun to leave passive-aggressive notes on your bed when you get home from class. You continue reading for the sake of your sanity.

    “All that is required of you is a $20 cash deposit and your Onecard, as well as returning it within the tower VP’s office hours as you will risk having your deposit withheld.”

    The audacity.

    “My hard earned guala??? Being taken by our ineffective governance??”

    You throw The Lighthouse in the trash (you can’t risk anyone else having this knowledge) and walk to Nicholas William Bombardieri’s office. As you enter the room you are overcome with sweet sum- mer scents and the fine aroma of Cuban cigars.

    “Hello, my son” he says in his low, seductive timbre that echoes through your soul.

    “What do you need, in these trying times”

    You are taken aback. It is as though he is the spirit who has guided you since the beginning. You open your mouth, but you are incapable of vocalization.

    Zach Hansen

    Vacuum Rentals? Easier than you think!

  • 6

    “I know what you want”. He shuffles through a stack of paper, acting as though he had not been pre- paring for hours. While handing you a sheet of paper with the title “Vacuum Rental Terms” he gives you a small, kitten-like smile. It moves something deep within you, but you ignore it.

    “I’m on a mission” you tell yourself.

    He hands you another sheet, to which he tells you to sign and date. He sends you on your way to clean your room. You smile to yourself. It’s funny really, a process so simple creating such a large change in your home. You’re cleaning, and it feels good. You want to clean more, as though it is a worm in your brain, becoming an obsession.

    No. You stop yourself, returning the vacuum in time for to receive your full deposit.

  • 7

    Me again! If you read the last edition of the Lighthouse you may have noticed my food review of

    Seoul Fried Chicken. An amazing and fairly cheap place to eat located on Whyte Ave. For this edition

    I’ll be reviewing some food from a restaurant by the name of Meat.

    Meat is a neat and clean place on Whyte Ave, it’s located at 8216 104 St NW.

    The food there is refreshing to say the least, especially

    with the new meal plan. I constantly go out for brunch

    there on the weekends. I’m there more often this year

    because the cafeteria in Lister doesn’t serve breakfast

    late. Last year they served breakfast on the weekends

    until 2pm, something I miss. Each and every time I’m

    at Meat I realize that I should be going there more of-


    When I do go I usually order the chicken & waffles,

    which is priced at $16. I also either get a mimosa or a

    water. This prices me at about $20-27 with a tip. I can say for sure that the chicken and waffles fills

    me up entirely and is delicious. Every time I eat there it brightens my mood and comparing it to the

    breakfast in Lister it outclasses it by far. The menu has a variety of different items that are great. I’ve

    also had the Meat Breakfast and Beef Breakfast Benny w/hashbrowns. I’m never disappointed with

    the experience. I always go with a group of friends that make the experience of the restaurant a great


    John Roche (duh)

    John Tastes MEAT!

  • 8

    Who else is sipping on pumpkin spice lattés and cozying up in fluffy sweaters? Or is the norm

    nowadays Duke’s beer and dodgeball hoodies? Either way, we seemed to have skipped right over fall

    when an inch of snow got dumped on our heads in the middle of September; but you know what’s

    not getting skipped over? Halloween!

    Okay, okay, so it’s still technically September, but we’re all busy students with plenty of dead-

    lines to remember. Wouldn’t want Halloween to sneak up on you and all of a sudden, the only cos-

    tume you can get is a ghost made out of white sheets. Speaking of costumes that no one wants, let’s

    have a quick talk about cultural appropriation! This can become a very long and tiresome topic, but

    here’s the short version: don’t wear culturally significant clothing as a costume! That’s all there is to

    it! Want to dress up as Pocahontas? Awesome, paint it with all the colours of the wind. Want to wear

    a feathered headdress because it looks cool? Nah, just don’t do it. It’s a very symbolic ceremonial re-

    galia worn by warriors and chiefs, not used for quirky Halloween costumes.

    For most people, Halloween is just a fun time to party, get some candy, and have fun! But if

    you’re really looking to blow everyone away with a cool costume this year, here are