+Sex in America: From Alfred Kinsey to Fifty Shades

Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPHAssociate Research Scientist,

The Center for Sexual Health PromotionSchool of Public Health-Bloomington, Indiana University

Sexual Health Educator, The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, & Reproduction

debby@indiana.edu Twitter @DebbyHerbenick

+Kama (love) & Rati (desire/lust)

+

+

+A Bit of Background

Dr. Alfred Kinsey and his team conducted the first large systematic study of sexual behavior in the US (1938-1963) More than 10,000 surveyed Mostly white. Mostly < age 50.

Our recent research from IU’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion includes nationally representative surveys of American women and men: 2008 study of vibrator use & sexual enhancement in the

US Ages 18 - 60

2009 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior Ages 14 - 94

2012 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior Ages 18 – 91; GLB oversample; English & Spanish

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1. Why We Have Sex

+Why We Have Sex

Why Humans Have Sex (2007) Attraction Physical pleasure Because it feels good It’s fun (Men) Show affection (Women)

But is this really why “humans” have sex?

+Sex in America, Ages 14 to 94 ~6000 Americans, nationally rep.

Because it feels good, Pleasure, Attraction, Fun, Affection still common reasons

Age Differences Opportunity, convenience, special days

Gender differences Duty/Obligation Attraction

Sex to “get” things… attention, revenge, love, bingo And to give things: condolences, love,

affection, a gift

+2. Sexual behavior and orientation don’t always match up - and that’s okay.

+ Kinsey noted it was impossible to determine the

number of persons who are "homosexual" or "heterosexual”; he focused more on sexual behaviors.

Instances of at least one same-sex experience to orgasm:

13% of females & about 37% of men

4-10% of men & 2 - 6% women had been exclusively homosexual in their sexual behaviors for at least a few years during late adolescence/adulthood

+2009 & 2012 NSSHB Data

About 8 to 15% of Americans ages 18 to 50 have had oral sex from a same-sex partner

Yet < 5% of women as lesbian or bisexual And about 7% of men identify as gay or bisexual

However, sexual orientation and RECENT (past year) sexual behavior are much more closely aligned

Overall, only ~1-2% of straight and gay/lesbian individuals report sex with same- or other-sex partners, respectively

+Gay-Identified Men’s Sexual Partners in the Past Year

+Lesbian-Identified Women’s Sexual Partners in the Past Year

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3. Anal Sex

+Anal Sex

THEN (Kinsey’s data): About 11% of men reported trying anal sex at least one

during marriage No good data overall for men of any orientation or same-

sex/other-sex sexual behavior

NOW (NSSHB): Any guesses?

+4.Vibrator Use & Masturbation

+U.S. Adults 18-60:% Having Ever Used a Vibrator by Gender (N = 2302)

In comparison, 52.5% of women and 44.8% of men ages 18 to 60 reported having ever used a vibrator in the 2008 National Vibrator Study.

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+Vibrator Use

Most women use vibrators alone & with a partner

About 1 in 6 men have used a vibrator alone

Vibrator use linked to positive sexual function (e.g., higher desire, arousal, easier orgasm, less pain during sex)

+ “Foreign Objects”

1938: A garden hose with an attached balloon found in a 59 year old man

+Source: 2003 article in the Journal of the Chinese Medical Association

+5. We’re still trying to understand orgasms.

+What We Know about Orgasms

Most people have orgasms Many have pretended/faked

Orgasm likelihood is linked to sexual variety

Men tend to over-estimate female partners’ orgasmic experience

+The Orgasm Gap

+Multiple Orgasm

THEN (Kinsey data)

14% of women & about 15% of men reported multiple orgasm

NOW (NSSHB data)

About 1/3 of women and about 15% of men

Why the shift for women?

+6. Maybe orgasms aren’t necessarily about sex.

+

-Kinsey noted that some women & men experienced orgasm during exercise

-Seemed uncommon (<5%)

-No other research on the topic until 2010.

EXERCISE AND ORGASMS

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-Data from about 600 women124 had experienced orgasm during exercise96 had come close150 experienced sexual pleasure during exercise, not orgasm

Most common from exercises that work the core abdominal muscles

Happens to men, too.

OUR EXERCISE-INDUCED ORGASM STUDY (2010)

+Ongoing Research

Identifying exercises linked to Exercise-Induced Orgasm (EIO) and/or arousal

Exercise as a desire/arousal-enhancer?

Hopefully identify the internal mechanisms linked to EIO

Exploring diverse ways that people have orgasms (reading, eating, sleeping, listening to music, etc).

Maybe sex orgasms are just a “special case” of orgasm

+

7. Relationship Structures

+Relationship Structures: 2012 NSSHB Data

Of Americans living with a relationship partner…

Straight-identified men and women

Entirely monogamous in the past year: ~90% Supposedly monogamous: ~6% of men & 5% of womenOpen relationships: <1%“Something Else” <1% men, 2% women4% of men, 2% of women = Not Discussed

+Relationship Structures

Gay-identified Men

52% Entirely Monogamous32% Open Relationships9% Supposedly Monogamous5% Not Discussed3% Something Else

Lesbian Women

92% Entirely Monogamous4% Open Relationships5% Something Else

(No “Supposedly”, no “Not Discussed”)

+Relationship Structures

Bisexual Men

Most common – Open relationships (33%)About 20% each: Entirely monogamous, supposedly monogamous, not discussed

Bisexual Women

Most common: Entirely monogamous (68%)16% Supposedly monogamous10% Not discussed4% Something else3% Open

+What do we know? What do our partners know?

When people who are in relationships had sex with other people (e.g., “outside partners”) in the past year: Gay men & bisexual women were most likely to say that

their partner knows about all of the outside partners (50-60%)

Bisexual men (40%) Straight women (25%) Straight men (6%)

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8. Painful sex.

+Pain is an unacknowledged part of many people’s sexual experience.

30% of women reported (unwanted) pain during their most recent sexual event So did 5-7% of men

+Pain During Vaginal Intercourse

+Pain During Anal Intercourse

+Characteristics of Pain

The pain is: Mostly genital Mostly NOT pleasurable/wanted. Largely NOT communicated to their partner (especially for

men - 2/3 don’t tell their partner for vaginal or anal sex pain)

Far more prevalent (70% women), more painful, and more consistently painful in connection with anal sex

+9. Our Favorite Things

about Sex

+

MEN

pages & pages of kissing, cuddling, love, intimacy (and orgasms)

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“Getting off, duh. I’m only 18. Fuck it or suck it, I don’t care.”

+ “I like the intimacy of a partner.

Loving and feeling loved. Hugging, kissing, touching, sharing. At 83 years old, I

sorely miss having a partner but that is no longer an option.”

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“Feels good, of course. Bonding. Occasionally children

happen.”

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“I am 65, kissing my wife is about it for me and a pat on the

butt now and then. Any more and it would probably kill me.”

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“Being kinky with each other, getting to be comfortable with someone on a level no one else

is.”

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“Being a Christian, when I engaged in sexual activities a

couple of years ago, I had extreme a couple of years ago,

I had extreme guilt until I stopped and repented. I liked

the closeness I had, the feeling of connectivity to that person.”

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“Due to health, my wife is non-sexual. I have a very close female friend that really enjoys sex. She enjoys all aspects of sex which

makes it really enjoyable for me.”

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“I have been married for 40 years. My wife and I had sex last

in 1999. I miss it… she has no interest at all. We don’t kiss or

even touch very much and don’t sleep together. I masturbate

often because I will not have an affair.”

+ “Attraction and desire for them

as a person. When younger I was always looking to connect and/or hook up… I love my wife

and she loves me and when she’s in the mood we have

these moments but we do not often have intercourse.”

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“Making a baby.”

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“Being with my partner, and spending time with him, having

him close to me, and the excitement of orgasm with him. We both enjoy my muscles and

being manly together.”

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“It is a very pleasant habit we started 40 years ago. It makes

the marriage better.”

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“Makes you feel like your life is worth a little bit.”

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WOMEN

Like men, pages & pages of kissing, cuddling, love, intimacy (and orgasms)

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“Deep kissing, oral sex, vaginal sex, heavy petting, undressing in

front of him.”

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“Feeling completely loved, like I was the only person in the

world he wanted to be with.”

+ “Before my husband passed he

just made me feel good. I missed the way he would make

me feel.”

+ “Getting the chance to actually

‘do it’ without the 3 kids bothering us! That’s the biggest problem, worrying that one of

the kids will walk in!”

+ “It is an expression of our love for

each other. And it is fun. And each of us love to have an

orgasm… she is 77 and I am 83 years old. I have had a lot of experience in my life. I was

married, also had male partners, then became a lesbian, and had female partners, and have been in this relationship for 21 years.”

+

“His scent when he has been working all day and needs to

take a shower. I get very aroused burying my face in his neck and breathing it all in. I also like the smell of his arm

pits after a long day.”

+ “Falling asleep spooned together when we get back into

bed.”

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“This is terrible but I cannot think of a thing… this is just

part of my job being married. I usually plan my grocery list.”

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I DEEPLY loved BOTH my husbands. Our sex lives were an expression of that love. We were always in bed. It was by mutual consent. We hugged and kissed,

oral sex was VERY occasional and special. Now, at 82, I miss that persona contact but not

enough to do something ‘casual’”.

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“I like how it makes me feel young and how I can help please my

husband.”

+ “It feels good. It makes me feel

loved and connected to my husband. It feels like we’re

getting one over on our cock blocking babies.”

+Sex in America

A complicated and beautiful landscape

Sex changes, but it’s always diverse The only “normal” is variation

All that said, sex is enormously rich and textured and human. People mostly enjoy sex for physical, emotional,

relational, procreational, and very personal reasons (e.g., it makes me feel young, that life is worth living)

+Tom Daley

“So, young man: you just did a beautiful thing. I'd guess a part of your internal discourse these last few months has been thinking "What's it got to do with anyone else?" The nasty comments from the more intelligently unpleasant members of the public will use that very trope – "I don't care what they do, why can't they just keep it to themselves?", etc etc – to signal their own inadequate psychologies.

“It's not viable, though, pretending to be something you're not – not in practice. It might just about work for a while, in theory, and particularly when you're alone. But it's not possible to be in love and not wish to share that fact. Indeed, it would be an obscenity to demand that harmless young people in love should keep the best thing about being alive a secret, as though they're ashamed of being human.”

- Graeme Archer, The Telegraph, December 2, 2013

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Twitter @DebbyHerbenick