Sibling Rivalry

Birth Order

SIBLING RELATIONSHIPSSIBLING RELATIONSHIPS

How can a sibling relationship be a How can a sibling relationship be a positive part of a family?positive part of a family?

Role modelsRole models SupportersSupporters members of a coalition for dealing with members of a coalition for dealing with

parents.parents.

SIBLING ROLES

• Playmates and Companions

• Teachers and Learners

• Protectors and dependants

• Role Models

SIBLING RIVALRYSIBLING RIVALRY

Question: Question: What are some typical What are some typical things brothers and sisters have things brothers and sisters have problems with or argue about?problems with or argue about?

Competition among children of the same family Competition among children of the same family for their parents’ affections or for dominance is for their parents’ affections or for dominance is called sibling rivalry. It is extremely common, called sibling rivalry. It is extremely common, and it sometimes persists into adult life.and it sometimes persists into adult life.

Sibling Sibling rivlaryrivlary link link

Younger children typically copy and Younger children typically copy and try to excel in areas in which older try to excel in areas in which older children have previously succeeded. children have previously succeeded.

One or both parents sometimes One or both parents sometimes single out one child as the “best” and single out one child as the “best” and another as the “black sheep.” another as the “black sheep.”

children perceive the parents’ children perceive the parents’ attitudes and compete with one attitudes and compete with one another for affection and approval. another for affection and approval.

Next to the parent-child Next to the parent-child relationship, the sibling relationship, the sibling

relationship is probably the relationship is probably the strongest. strongest.

Enjoy sharing. Enjoy sharing. Teaching and socializing is Teaching and socializing is often the role of an older brother or often the role of an older brother or sister. sister. The older sibling is not only teacher The older sibling is not only teacher

but caretaker and companion.but caretaker and companion.

Complete the handout “Living with Complete the handout “Living with Brothers and Sisters”. Brothers and Sisters”.

Things to remember about Birth Order

Becoming aware of uniqueness Use the information to understand

ourselves and others Do not use traits as labels or stereotypes

BIRTH ORDER

The order in which children are born in to a family has an influence on the development of the children.

The stages in the family life cycle are based on the age of the oldest child because everything the firstborn does in new to the parents.

The oldest child is:The oldest child is:

Usually set up as an example to the other Usually set up as an example to the other children.children.

Treated more like an adult by his/her parents.Treated more like an adult by his/her parents. A high achieverA high achiever Given and accepts more responsibility than Given and accepts more responsibility than

the other children.the other children. Usually college bound.Usually college bound. IndependentIndependent Is affectionate Is affectionate

The middle child:The middle child:

May work extra-hard to get recognition.May work extra-hard to get recognition. Is usually a peace maker.Is usually a peace maker. is somewhat average in schoolwork, but is somewhat average in schoolwork, but

is an all-around good studentis an all-around good student Is usually a calm, even-tempered adult.Is usually a calm, even-tempered adult.

The youngest child:The youngest child:

Gets a lot of attention, along with a lot Gets a lot of attention, along with a lot of bossing.of bossing.

May be spoiledMay be spoiled Usually matures quicklyUsually matures quickly May be undisciplined and irresponsibleMay be undisciplined and irresponsible Is easy-going about school.Is easy-going about school. Likes to associate with someone who Likes to associate with someone who

takes charge of situations.takes charge of situations.

MARRIAGE IN RELATION TO BIRTH ORDER

Oldest and youngest – the youngest is use to being taken care of and the oldest likes taking care of others.

Two youngest - will have lots of fun together, but may resent each other later because no one is taking care of each other.

Two Oldest – admire and respect each other because of the traits they possess. However later on they may have problems trying to agree on things.

WHAT IS YOUR TEACHER?WHAT IS YOUR TEACHER?

Oldest child:Oldest child: Create complicated projects for students to complete. Create complicated projects for students to complete. They like structure and order in the classroom. They like structure and order in the classroom. They are happiest when students are sitting in nicely They are happiest when students are sitting in nicely

arrange desks, straight in a line. arrange desks, straight in a line. Students are quiet and do as they are told. Students are quiet and do as they are told. the oldest child teacher will be frustrated unless they the oldest child teacher will be frustrated unless they

learn how to achieve the organization in a different learn how to achieve the organization in a different way.way.

• A middle child teacher:– is interested in the psychological well being as

well as the academic achievement of the student.

– They seek out the rebellious students in hope of influencing them in a more positive direction.

– They try to achieve order through mutual respect and understanding.

• A teacher who is a younger child:

– are more creative, fun loving, adjust well to noise and disorder.

– Teachers allow students to take

more responsibility so they won’t

have to do everything

themselves