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INTRODUCTIONS

Introductions are key to all types of writing.

This is where you start to make the reader care.

What follows are mostly bad examples of intro tactics that apply to all kinds of college writing; though I will point out situations unique to your ethnographies.

INTRODUCTIONS: WHAT NOT TO DO

“The Dawn of Time” Introduction

Usually begins like this:

• Debates about human cloning have been a big problem for along time now.

• People have been talking about gun control since the beginning of guns.

Congratulations! You’ve said absolutely nothing!

INTRODUCTIONS: WHAT NOT TO DO

“The Your Reader Can’t Talk Back” Introduction

Usually begins like this:

• Have you ever thought about the problems with our environment?

• What do you think about illegal immigration?

Congratulations! You’ve asked a question that is not going to get answered.

INTRODUCTIONS: WHAT NOT TO DO

“The I Think You Care About My Problems” Introduction

Usually begins like this:

• I had a tough time picking a topic for this essay, but after much thought I went with the topic of abortion.

• After hours of research and carefully considering all the evidence, I’ve decided to write a paper about cheese.

• My teacher said I had to go somewhere uncomfortable, so I went to . . .

Congratulations! You broke some genre rules.

INTRODUCTIONS: WHAT NOT TO DO

“The Jump Right to the Thesis” Introduction

Usually begins like this:

• <insert thesis here>

Congratulations! It’s about as jarring as a parachuter landing right in front of you without you having first seen them slowly approaching from above.

INTRODUCTIONS: WHAT NOT TO DO

“Glittering Generalities” Introduction

Usually begins like this:

• More and more kids are “sexting.” They are sending sexual text messages to each other. This is a big problem. I think it’s bad. We need to fix this.

Congratulations! Your teacher is asleep now.

SO WHAT DO I DO?

• Don’t be boring. If it bores you writing it, it will bore a reader.

• You’re trying to generate interest in the reader from the start. Ask yourself what will do that. Trust me, it’s none of the things we just saw.

• Lose the generalities- speak of specifics, use dynamic, colorful, and detailed prose

• Don’t acknowledge it’s an assignment, an essay, or any of the processes you went through getting here. Just write your essay.

• We’ve seen a number of good intros in the readings we’ve done for the course. Go back and look at them. Rhetorically analyze them to see what they’re doing.

ANECDOTE

• Some topics lend themselves very well to a brief story or example. This can be a factual event or even one that’s made up. The key is to be incredibly detailed and compose a compelling narrative.

It’s late at night and the kids are safely tucked into bed after the reading of a good story. She does her usual evening routine (brushes her teeth, gets into pajamas, goes over the plan for tomorrow) and snuggles into her own bed. Suddenly, a crashing sound brings her to consciousness and she realizes it’s three in the morning. The floorboards are cold against her feet as she slowly tip-toes to the kids’ room to make sure they’re alright. Seeing them still snug in bed is small solace. The crashing sound keeps repeating in her mind as she proceeds through the rest of the house. Surely the wind simply blew in a window. Surely the cat knocked some plates off the kitchen counter. None of these hypotheses prepare her for what she finds in the living room. There’s a man, a total stranger, standing in front of her desk and rifling through the drawers. He senses her presence and turns to reveal a small revolver in his hand.

We all hope that we will never face a home invasion like this in the middle of the night. However, millions of Americans feel more prepared ever since they made the decision to keep a handgun of their own in the house. However, there are members of congress that are actively seeking to take this right away, in effect, robbing millions of Americans of their security . . . .. . . . And so forth . . . .

STARTLING, SHOCKING, INTERESTING INFOYou’re an eco-system. In other words, while you may think of yourself as

an individual human being, you are travelling with all kinds of life and organisms where ever you go. You can’t see them. You can’t introduce them to your friends. They won’t back you up in a fight. However, be it in our skin cells, on our eyelashes, in our sweat glands, or between our teeth, the human body is actually inhabited by over 90 trillion living microbes (Glausiuez). Most of the time these microbes are harmless (maybe “icky” to think about but harmless). In fact, many of them are actually helpful to us. However, sometimes these microbes can get a little too pushy. They jockey for position in the eco-system of you and try to assert their authority. When this domination attempt happens, you have the potential to develop serious life threatening situations.

A paper that would segue from here into the important of education and prevention of staph infections.

IN MEDIA RES (IN THE MIDDLE OF THINGS)

A woman is screaming somewhere down the strobe-lighted hall and suddenly every single hair on the back of my neck is standing to attention. The clowns with blood soaked chins at the entrance let us into the small space in groups of 10 which ensures we’re all huddled close together through the narrow hallways. This probably makes it easier to slit our necks from behind in quick succession, I figured. I was holding my boyfriend’s hand so tightly, I was sure some of his bones would break. I love him and all, but if that happened, there would be ghosts, ghouls, goblins, and whatever that creepy alter thing was between us and the hospital. Satanic alter probably; I’m definitely thinking it was a Satanic alter. Because that’s where we were– hell. On one level, an eerily accurate portrayal of hell based on millions of horror movies (though created with prosthetics, paper mache, and sadistic personalities in most cases). On another level, a personal hell for me. I’d always steered clear of places like this when the calendar turned to October, but now, for the first time, it was me and the screaming lady on a path that would probably make me pee my pants.

(now back up and explain how you got here and where “here” is)

RHETORICAL ANALYSIS

This is the key to your paper. Without it, you’ve just told a story.

• Most details should be there only to be analyzed

• Analyze immediately after a detail, or have a batch of details and then analyze them all together

• If you were to bold the rhetorical analysis in your paper, it should be the majority of your “the visit” section

• Point out your analysis of why something is there, or done, or said

• But also point out what’s not there, or done, or said

• Use rhetorical analysis signal phrases

SIGNAL PHRASES

• This was probably because . . .

• This suggests . . .

• The reason for this is likely . . .

• Considering the main audience . . .

• I figured this was _____ because _______

• The effect of doing so was . . .

DIALYSIS CLINIC (SPATIAL AND CONTEXTUAL)I had to wait for about fifteen minutes before the secretary came back to help me. I

noticed that the room was not nicely decorated, but had framed notices all over the walls. I imagine that the staff needs to remind the patients of important information, and so they post it all in a conspicuous area. That saves them from saying the same things repeatedly all day long. None of the notices were very well designed (lots of clip art and lazy alignment), but I figured in a place devoted to efficiency, the luxury of design was deemed unimportant. There was also a large bookcase in the waiting room, with many older books on it (most from the 60s and70s). I suppose they are there to prevent boredom, but their age suggests that the center may be poorly funded and has to focus their funds on keeping the medical equipment up-to-date. Also, considering the elderly age of most patients, perhaps older books were somehow more comforting.

Narration

Rhetorical analysis

COMIC BOOK SHOP CARD GAME NIGHT (INTERACTIONS AND ACTIVITY)Everyone seemed to already know the people gathered around their game table or

perhaps they behaved with familiarity simply because of a shared interest. This suggests two things. These people have made this a regular, reoccurring part of their lives, which also explains how heated the game matches could get. Also, the acts of purchasing, collecting, and organizing cards is probably such a time (and financially) consuming endeavor that even strangers can bond over it. All the tables were also very diverse and ranged in age from about eighteen to forty or fifty years old. The older players clearly had more experience and often were called on by the younger ones to clarify certain rules. They always did this timidly, which showed both respect and a sense that it’s frowned on in this group to be unprepared. A large rule book was also regularly consulted. The rule book itself was positioned off to the side of the most experienced player at the table as if he knew it was his job to consult it. He also often rested his hand atop of it when not making a move, which almost felt like he was magically drawing power from the book itself (probably not, I think the Magic here is only in the name of the game.)

CONSIDER A THEME

If there’s too much to potentially analyze and discuss, consider a theme that will help you focus.

Gun Show

• Emphasis on security

• Emphasis on nationalism

• Emphasis on females in space

OTHER TIPS

• Please, for the love of whatever deity you worship, use “I.” It’s YOUR story

OTHER TIPS

• Please, for the love of whatever deity you worship, use “I.” It’s YOUR story

• Don’t skimp on the background/previously held beliefs portion. The reader only cares about the visit if they know enough about you

OTHER TIPS

• Please, for the love of whatever deity you worship, use “I.” It’s YOUR story

• Don’t skimp on the background/previously held beliefs portion. The reader only cares about the visit if they know enough about you

• DO NOT just narrate what happened, what you saw, and what people did. Rhetorical analysis of these things is key to a strong paper.

• If you follow the suggested outline, by careful with the transition into the research

OTHER TIPS

• Please, for the love of whatever deity you worship, use “I.” It’s YOUR story

• Don’t skimp on the background/previously held beliefs portion. The reader only cares about the visit if they know enough about you

• DO NOT just narrate what happened, what you saw, and what people did. Rhetorical analysis of these things is key to a strong paper.

• If you follow the suggested outline, by careful with the transition into the research

• Most of this will probably be in past tense (cause it already happened) but consider rhetorical use of present tense at times