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e Pioneer ISSUE 2 FEB 3, 2011 Page 8 Backpage *giggles* is week, e Backpage had our own reporter get down to the nitty gritty of I-week. Here, she in- terviews an anonymous newly-initiated rst-year: Pio: So, do you guys undergo any physical changes? I noticed you’re rocking the J-Biebs style hair, yet we haven’t seen you on lesbian- swholooklikejustinbieber.tumblr.com (awkward pause), so we’re forced to believe these are Greek shenanigans. Is this true? Justin Bieber Doppelganger: I can neither con- rm nor deny that we were all forced to get bowl cuts. Although, I do believe Prentiss Dining Hall is missing a large quantity of bowls. Pio: Okay, so let’s just say you had to get bowl cuts. How does this strengthen the bonds of sis- terhood? JBD: It’s really helpful not having hair in my face during the naked candle ceremony! Pio: Wait. What? JBD: Huh? Pio: You just said “naked candle ceremony.” JBD: No, I didn’t. Pio: Pretty sure you did. JBD: Naked Super Smash Bros. tourney. Pio: What? JBD: No further comment. (Subject runs away from interviewer, shiny locks of Bieber hair whipping back and forth) Inftf_ofon: On¡ L¡ss Lkn¡ls Gfrl 1. If you’re not into white guys, transfer. Transfer now. 2. Don’t be ashamed about drinking in or before Encounters. Drink every time the overeager kid who is “majoring in philosophy” raises his hand and repeats what the professor just said. 3. Whitman actually does not have a uniform. All those people are wearing plaid of their own volition. 4. If you notice a weird silence on your way to dinner at Jewett, don’t be alarmed. at’s just Lyman. 5. Creeping on People Search is basi- cally a minor at Whitman. 6. BSU will host a dance with a title that should strike you as perpetuating stereo- types, but you end up deciding it’s prob- ably okay since they came up with it. 7. Despite what your awkward room- mate might try to tell you, Magic Cards were never cool. 8. About once a semester, Whitman will bring a band to campus. It’ll be that one band that you pretended to like in order to hit on that hipster girl at the record store. You have to go to a state school for Macklemore. Things Jan Starts should know Asian Studies: You are probably Asian. Biology: You are pre-med and/ or uncreative. Chemistry: You don’t value your aernoons, and you denitely are not getting laid. Economics: Hustlenomic$ English: A degree to lay down sick beats that ow like a river. Environmental Studies - _____________: Adding ES to a major means nothing more than the regular major would, you just have to do more (bullshit) work. Gender Studies: Seriously? Math: e square root of 69 is 8 somethin’, right? ‘Cause I’ve been tryna work it out, oh! Philosophy: e only major that really counts. Race and Ethnic Studies: You are a white girl. Salute the major 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 8 e Backpage decided to do Whitman a kindness and give the Jan Starts a heads-up. We've compiled our wisdom into a handy little list. Are you wondering what your major translates to in the real world? Maybe you are just regretting having switched out of BBMB into theater. In any case, we're oering a sampling of what some popular Whitman majors truly mean. ACROSS 1. Flightless bird 4. Muqtada al-_____ 8. Minute or house 12. Ghana capital 14. Sword, to Pierre 15. Rick’s ame in “Casablanca” 16. What the Sustainability Com- mittee took? 18. Deceiver 19. e white of the eye 20. “_____ for one … ” 21. Lois of “Superman” 22. _____ Bizkit 24. A pyramid, for one 26. His Noodley Appendage, abbr. 29. “Shucks!” 31. Liver or brat 34. Hoppy alc. bev. 35. “_____ the Wild” 37. Unprocessed chocolate 39. Noah’s worst fear come true on Ankeny? 43. “Don’t _____ on me” 44. Loveseat or divan, for example 45. For, to Juan 46. Prex to porosis 48. “_____ Get Together” 50. Sea-Tac stat. 51. Tail-less cat 53. What statistics draw on 55. Johnny Bravo’s parent 58. Collection 60. Cantaloupe or honeydew 64. Actor McGregor 65. Second semester starter for the Greeks? 67. Tear 68. Native dwelling 69. Musa of medieval Mali 70. Brother of Jacob 71. State of comfortability 72. “I like _____” DOWN 1. New England NCAA grouping 2. One thousand two hundred y 3. “Family Matters” character Steve 4. “_____ what I mean?” 5. Sports medicine org. 6. Distributed 7. Till again 8. San Francisco suburb 9. Shawkat of “Arrested Develop- ment” 10. Northeastern ai province 11. Challenge 12. Sit-up muscles 13. Medieval Catholic courtyards 17. Vice president Hannibal 23. Flashes of hunger 25. Excessive 26. Black power symbol 27. Vice president Agnew 28. Like lion fur and some facial hair 30. Bar seat 32. Rune or land 33. A gypsy’s hand? 36. Murdered, to Don Vito 38. Gumbo must 40. Nepal capital 41. “at’s the right ______” 42. Japanese mat 47. At the location itself 49. It might be blown o 52. Ancient Greek etiquette 54. Mongolian range 55. Nothing better than 56. Dread 57. Energy to cast spells, in Magic 59. Paycheck supplements 61. Babe’s utterance? 62. e front end of a jet 63. Airport of the O.C. 66. It’s oen worn with a vest by ADAM BRAYTON Puzzle Slut SONG JOHANSON CROSSWORD COMIC kanye kanyewest Kanye West I just threw some bassoon on this muthaf**ka. tweet of the week Reasons to study abroad

Spring 2011 Backpage Issue 2

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Page 1: Spring 2011 Backpage Issue 2

!e PioneerISSUE  2

FEB  3,  2011

Page  8 Backpage*giggles*

!is week, !e Backpage had our own reporter get down to the nitty gritty of I-week. Here, she in-terviews an anonymous newly-initiated "rst-year:

Pio: So, do you guys undergo any physical changes? I noticed you’re rocking the J-Biebs style hair, yet we haven’t seen you on lesbian-swholooklikejustinbieber.tumblr.com (awkward pause), so we’re forced to believe these are Greek shenanigans. Is this true?Justin Bieber Doppelganger: I can neither con-!rm nor deny that we were all forced to get bowl cuts. Although, I do believe Prentiss Dining Hall is missing a large quantity of bowls.Pio: Okay, so let’s just say you had to get bowl

cuts. How does this strengthen the bonds of sis-terhood?JBD: It’s really helpful not having hair in my face during the naked candle ceremony!Pio: Wait. What?JBD: Huh?Pio: You just said “naked candle ceremony.”JBD: No, I didn’t.Pio: Pretty sure you did.JBD: Naked Super Smash Bros. tourney.Pio: What?JBD: No further comment. (Subject runs away from interviewer, shiny locks of Bieber hair whipping back and forth)

In t on: On L ss

L n l G rl

1. If you’re not into white guys, transfer. Transfer now. 2. Don’t be ashamed about drinking in or before Encounters. Drink every time the overeager kid who is “majoring in philosophy” raises his hand and repeats what the professor just said. 3. Whitman actually does not have a uniform. All those people are wearing plaid of their own volition. 4. If you notice a weird silence on your way to dinner at Jewett, don’t be alarmed. "at’s just Lyman. 5. Creeping on People Search is basi-cally a minor at Whitman.

6. BSU will host a dance with a title that should strike you as perpetuating stereo-types, but you end up deciding it’s prob-ably okay since they came up with it. 7. Despite what your awkward room-mate might try to tell you, Magic Cards were never cool. 8. About once a semester, Whitman will bring a band to campus. It’ll be that one band that you pretended to like in order to hit on that hipster girl at the record store. You have to go to a state school for Macklemore.

Things Jan Starts

should know

Asian Studies: You are probably Asian.Biology: You are pre-med and/or uncreative.Chemistry: You don’t value your a#ernoons, and you de!nitely are not getting laid.Economics: Hustlenomic$English: A degree to lay down sick beats that $ow like a river.Environmental Studies - _____________: Adding ES to a major means nothing more than the regular major would, you just have to do more (bullshit) work.Gender Studies: Seriously?Math: "e square root of 69 is 8 somethin’, right? ‘Cause I’ve been tryna work it out, oh!Philosophy: "e only major that really counts.Race and Ethnic Studies: You are a white girl.

Salute the major

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

12 13 14 15

16 17 18

19 20 21

22 23 24 25

26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33

34 35 36 37 38

39 40 41 42

43 44 45

46 47 48 49 50

51 52 53 54

55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63

64 65 66

67 68 69

70 71 72

8"e Backpage decided to do Whitman a kindness and give the Jan Starts a heads-up. We've compiled our wisdom into a handy little list.

Are you wondering what your major translates to in the real world? Maybe you are just regretting having switched out of BBMB into theater. In any case, we're o%ering a sampling of what some popular Whitman majors truly mean.

ACROSS1. Flightless bird4. Muqtada al-_____8. Minute or house12. Ghana capital14. Sword, to Pierre15. Rick’s $ame in “Casablanca”16. What the Sustainability Com-mittee took?18. Deceiver19. "e white of the eye20. “_____ for one … ”21. Lois of “Superman”

22. _____ Bizkit24. A pyramid, for one26. His Noodley Appendage, abbr.29. “Shucks!”31. Liver or brat34. Hoppy alc. bev.35. “_____ the Wild”37. Unprocessed chocolate39. Noah’s worst fear come true on Ankeny?43. “Don’t _____ on me”44. Loveseat or divan, for example45. For, to Juan46. Pre!x to porosis48. “_____ Get Together”

50. Sea-Tac stat.51. Tail-less cat53. What statistics draw on55. Johnny Bravo’s parent58. Collection60. Cantaloupe or honeydew64. Actor McGregor65. Second semester starter for the Greeks?67. Tear68. Native dwelling69. Musa of medieval Mali70. Brother of Jacob71. State of comfortability72. “I like _____”

DOWN1. New England NCAA grouping2. One thousand two hundred !#y3. “Family Matters” character Steve4. “_____ what I mean?”5. Sports medicine org.6. Distributed7. Till again8. San Francisco suburb9. Shawkat of “Arrested Develop-ment”10. Northeastern "ai province11. Challenge12. Sit-up muscles

13. Medieval Catholic courtyards17. Vice president Hannibal23. Flashes of hunger25. Excessive26. Black power symbol27. Vice president Agnew28. Like lion fur and some facial hair30. Bar seat32. Rune or land33. A gypsy’s hand?36. Murdered, to Don Vito38. Gumbo must40. Nepal capital

41. “"at’s the right ______”42. Japanese mat47. At the location itself49. It might be blown o%52. Ancient Greek etiquette54. Mongolian range55. Nothing better than56. Dread57. Energy to cast spells, in Magic59. Paycheck supplements61. Babe’s utterance?62. "e front end of a jet63. Airport of the O.C.66. It’s o#en worn with a vest

by ADAM BRAYTONPuzzle  Slut

SONG

JOHANSON

CROSSWORD

COMIC

kanyekanyewest  Kanye  WestI  just  threw  some  bassoon  on  this  muthaf**ka.

tweet of the week

Reasons to

study abroad