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The Backpage team couldn’t help but no-tice that a lot of people weren’t getting into the classes they wanted during pre-registra-tion. Lucky for you, we’ve combed through the online Search for Classes feature to !ind some courses that still have room for the fall 2011 semester. This should help, in case your Stoner Studies individually-planned major doesn’t get approved.

Bio 208 - The Science of Sleep

This class explores the importance o! sleep to the human body, the circadian rhythm and the science o! each o! the sleep phases. Students will have the opportunity to use electroencepha-lographs (EEGs) to study the phases o! sleep in laboratory mice. Meets four times weekly at 7 a.m.

Marijuana on the Human Body

This seminar explores what happens on 4/21, after a hearty 4/20. This course discusses the gateway drug theory, examines the long-term damage o! marijuana and culminates in a trip to oh-my-gosh there is a ginormous bowl o! Ra-men in front o! me. Nom nom nom.

German is spoken by over 200 million people worldwide and is the original language o! many in!luential texts. Learn more about this fascinat-ing language -- you might become so fascinated that you decide to major in German Studies and help save our department.

Party like it’s the 4th grade again. Take record-er lessons!

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Patrice Williams, mastermind behind Ark Mu-sic Factory and the song “Friday”, recently told the L.A. Times that he attended Whitman Col-lege to study the business o! the entertainment industry. This fabrication made us think maybe we should have a class on the business o! the en-tertainment industry. In this class, you will learn how to get rich by exploiting average 7th-grade girls and using Auto-Tune to make them sound like pop superstars. However, since it’s Whit-man, we’ll have to throw in stuf! about how the music industry is like colonialism and how the price o! hiring Ark Music Factory affects the so-cioeconomic and racial demographics o! its cli-ents.

This course surveys texts previously included in Encounters and the classic Core class. Texts in-

clude William Harvey’s “On the Motion o! the Heart and Blood in Animals”, “The Epic o! Gil-gamesh”, and selected poems from the “Roman-tic English Poetry” anthology. Includes a !inal project tying together at least four o! the dis-carded texts into a single thesis.

Torture is a chie! method o! intimidation and punishment throughout the world, but can have many negative consequences, including post-traumatic stress disorder. This course examines methods o! torture, how these methods work to harm victims and the legal status o! torture worldwide. Includes a !ield trip to the Washing-ton State Penitentiary. Co-requisite: Psyc 345L.

In the lab portion o! this class, students will im-plement basic torture techniques learned in class by practicing them on lab partners. Techniques include sensory deprivation, lengthy interroga-tions and waterboarding. Meets Mon-Fri at 5 a.m.

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boarding

For those looking for an extra boost to their workout. Activity fee o! only $19.95, but i! you register in the next 15 minutes, we’ll cut the fee in hal! to $9.95 and throw in an extra Shake Weight to give a friend who you think sort o! needs it.

Classes Still Available

APR

212011

JUMBLE TIME!

COMIC

"Kush rolled, glass full. I prefer the better things."

- Drake

Happy holidaze! It's the most wonderful time o! the year! Here at the Backpage, we decided to chronicle a day in the life o! the average Whittie on 4/20. It seems not much happens, but quality over quantity, right? Holla!

11 a.m. Skip bio and have a couple holiday treats.

12 p.m. Lunch in Jewett. Thank god for unlimited desserts and Froot Loops.

1-2:20 p.m. Art history, which was unusually interesting.

3 p.m. Smoke and be merry.

4:20 p.m. Listen to "Dark Side o! the Moon", watch "Wizard o! Oz" without volume.

6 p.m. Dinner o! pizza and burrrrrr (beer).

8 p.m. Get some friends; Rebelution, and pass it.

10 p.m. Goodnight bowl, goodnight's sleep.

Backpage Celebrates 4/20

Diary of a Blazed Whittie

Dear Slut-lovers,

I’m not even going to try to excuse mysel! through a quasi-narrative puzzle-slut format. I just didn’t have time to make a crossword this weekend. Being a slut takes a toll on time, y’know, and time is just something I didn’t have this weekend.

So here’s a jumble. Cross-word to come next week.

Apologies,Adam “Failure o! a Slut” Brayton

P.S. I recognize I screwed up the last puzzle. The lack o! clues for the down section was a vast oversight that won’t happen again.

R E P O S Y

K M E S U T

A S P I L N

R E A M N T

T A N L U F

Q: What is life without geometry?

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY LERCHIN

ILLUSTRATION BY SONG

ILLUSTRATION BY BRAYTON

M A B B A C K F I P

A R E A R U I N I N A

T I E D E R V O R E S

H O R S E F E A T H E R S

S T Y E C O A T I

A C A M P O R I O

T H E T A L L E S T M A N

R A M N E B U L A

I L I A D P E P A

P O R N O G R A P H E R S

O G A M R O P E R I P

D E T H I C E S I D E

S N E T S S T E E N

ANSWERS TO LAST WEEK’S PUZZLE

Giggles!