NO SEX PLEASE - WE’RE BRITISH bares (almost) all on Talking Pictures TV!This much-loved British comedy stars Ronnie Corbett, Ian Ogilvy, Susan Penhaligon and Arthur Lowe plus a full cast of classic British comedy actors including: Deryck Guyler, Cheryl Hall, Margaret Nolan, Valerie Leon, Gerald Sim and Brian Wilde. Adapted from the long running play, this farcical caper revolves around the mistaken delivery of a saucy parcel to an innocent bank employee. Lots of ‘trousers falling down’ type slapstick ensues. Airs: Sunday 2nd June at 20:05

Highlights for week beginning Monday 27th May 2019

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Monday 27th May 10:20Command Performance (1937)Romance. Director:Sinclair Hill Stars: Arthur Tracy, Lilli Palmer. A renowned stage singer leaves the theatre to become a gypsy after his voice weakens.

Monday 27th May 15:20Ring of Spies (1964)Drama. Directed by Robert Tronson. Stars Bernard Lee, William Sylvester, David Kossoff & Margaret Tyzack. A secret agent asks Henry Houghton to steal military secrets in exchange for a hefty fee.

Monday 27th May 23:10 Machine Gun McCain (1970)Crime Drama. Director: Giuliano Montaldo, Stars: John Cassavetes, Britt Ekland, Peter Falk. A paroled armed robber and his son plan a Las Vegas casino heist without knowing that the casino is bitterly contested by the West Coast and East Coast mobs.

Tuesday 28th May 08:25The Fallen Idol (1948) Thriller. Directed by Carol Reed. Starring Ralph Richard-son, Michele Morgan and Jack Hawkins. A butler working in a foreign embassy in London falls under suspicion when his wife dies.

Tuesday 28th May 18:30Crooks Anonymous (1962) Comedy. Directed by Ken Annakin. Stars Leslie Phillips, Stanley Baxter & Wilfrid Hyde-White. Petty thief Dandy Forsdyke joins an unofficial organisation for reforming criminals.

Tuesday 28th May 20:20Laughing Gravy (1930) Comedy. Directed by James W Horne. Stars Stan Laurel Oliver Hardy & Charlie Hall. On a snowy winter’s night, Laurel & Hardy try to keep their pet dog ‘Laughing Gravy’ hidden from their landlord.

Wednesday 29th May 12:30The Spaniard’s Curse (1958)Thriller. Director: Ralph Kem-plen. Stars Tony Wright, Lee Patterson, Michael Hordern & Susan Beaumont. A man of Spanish heritage is convicted of murder and places a curse on the judge & jury.

Wednesday 29th May 18:40 and Sunday 2nd June 00:00The Saint - The Fiction Makers (1968)Adventure. Directed by Roy Ward Baker. Stars: Roger Moore Sylvia Syms & Justine Lord. The Saint is asked to act as a bodyguard to a best-selling author Amos Klein – who is secretly a young woman.

Thursday 30th May 12:20Daybreak (1948)Drama. Directed by Compton Bennett. Stars Ann Todd, Eric Portman & Maxwell Reed. Tragedy strikes when a hangman’s assistant gets into a fight after he tries to seduce his boss’s wife.

Thursday 30th May 15:05Two Way Stretch (1960)Comedy. Directed by Robert Day. Stars Peter Sellers, David Lodge & Bernard Cribbins. Dodger Lane intends to break out of prison, steal a fortune in diamonds and break back into prison.

Friday 31st May 08:05The Card (1952)Directed by Ronald Neame. Starring: Alec Guinness, Glynis Johns, Valerie Hobson, Petula Clark and Joan Hickson. A charming, ambitious man finds many ways to rise through the ranks – some honest, some not.

Friday 31st May 18:30 and Monday 27thMay 03:30Meet Mr Lucifer (1954)Director: Anthony Pelissier Starring: Stanley Holloway, Peggy Cummins, Jack Watling, Gordon Jackson, Kay Kendall and Ian Carmichael. Sam is knocked unconscious and finds himself down below with Mr Lucifer, where he agrees to assist in the devil’s work!

Friday 31st May 23:10Hard Times (1975) Crime Drama Director: Walter Hill Stars: Charles Bronson, James Coburn, Jill Ireland. The adventures of a drifter turned illegal prize- fighter during the Depression Era in New Orleans.

Saturday 1st June 15:20 and Sunday 2nd June 18:35Noose For a Lady (1953)Crime Drama Director: Wolf Rilla Stars: Dennis Price, Rona Ander-son, Ronald Howard A woman is sentenced to death but her cousin works against time to prove her innocence.

Saturday 1st June 19:00 Clockwise (1986)Comedy. Director: Christopher Morahan Starring: John Cleese, Alison Steadman, Nadia Sawalha Clock-watching headmaster Brian Stimpson, whose fanaticism for time-keeping knows no bounds.

Saturday 1st June 21:00Remember My Name (1978)Thriller. Director: Alan Rudolph Stars: Geraldine Chaplin, Anthony Perkins, Moses Gunn. Just released from prison, a young woman arrives in town to “start a new life”, but soon begins stalking a married construction worker for no apparent reason.

Sunday 2nd June 17:00Hand in Hand (1961)Drama. Director: Philip Leacock Stars: Loretta Parry, Philip Needs, John Gregson. A little Roman Catholic boy and a little Jewish girl become best friends despite the prejudice that surrounds them.

Sunday 2nd June 20:05No Sex Please - We’re British (1973)Comedy. Director: Cliff Owen Stars: Ronnie Corbett, Beryl Reid, Arthur Lowe. Porn store owner Pete orders some new merchandise from his supplier who mixes up the address with the address of the local Barclays Bank. Newly- weds David (the bank’s assistant manager) and Penny Hunter are shocked when photos, then films and finally two girls arrive at their flat.

Sunday 2nd June 21:50The Small World of Sammy Lee (1963)Drama. Directed by Ken Hughes. Stars Anthony Newley, Julia Foster Robert Stephens & Wilfrid Bram-bell. Sammy Lee owes £300 to a bookie, whose muscle men are coming to collect.

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Highlights for week beginning Monday 27th May 2019 continued