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7/17/13 10:22 PMTennis Psychology - How to Conquer Your Fear of Losing!

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Tennis Psychology - How to Conquer Your Fear ofLosing!It is often the fear of losing that will break the spirit of athletes and preventthem from creating a winning mindset. However, for many athletes this fearis often only present when in a tournament match and not when playing apractice match. Why is this and how can an athlete overcome this fear oflosing?

Through years of playing and also speaking with competitive players of all levels, I have found that it is not the actualfear of losing a match that causes stress and anxiety, but the fear of “something else!” Now that seems a little vague,but you will soon see what I mean when I say “something else.”

That “something else” refers to one of the many consequences of losing a tennis match.

The truth is negative consequences of losing a tennis match will stay engrained in your subconscious until you canpositively and effectively deal with them. You think you are afraid of losing a match, when in fact you are actually afraidof the consequences of losing a match.

The mind has an unbelievable ability to create worst case scenarios even when there is almost no chance of suchevents actually eventuating.

In the entire scheme of your tennis career losing one match is not a massive deal that should cause you such agony. Infact, all players experience losing matches they really wanted to win. Sure, they were disappointed in the result oflosing, but top players accept that they were just beaten by someone who played and performed better than they did onthat given day.

When Roger Federer loses he doesn't think the player who beat him was indeed a better player or better person. Hethinks they just played better than him that day and next time he will come out on top.

The difference between the mindset of a champion, like Federer, and someone who struggles with losing is that Federerwon't associate his losing with his self-worth as a person. Therefore he will recover from losing and move on.Conversely, players who believe losing is reflective of themself as people will carry this belief forward with them in future



matches. From here it will just escalate into a harmful and performance destroying belief.

So now that you know that you need to be able to attain this thought process of “separation” just how do you go aboutdoing it?

First, You Need to Identify the Cause of Your Fears Associated With Losing:

1. What are the “consequences” of losing that actually cause your fear?

2. Do you really fear losing a match or do you fear how it will reflect on you as a person?

3. What will your friends think?

4. Will your fellow players lose respect for you?

5. Will your friends no longer like you?

6. Are you a bad person if you can't win a tennis match?

7. Will you feel like a failure if you don't win?

Are these some of the questions or feelings you have identified about yourself when it comes to losing? If so, then let'sgo about changing these beliefs and establish a mindset where you can differentiate between YOU as a person andYOU as a tennis player who lost a tennis match.

You Need to Recognise, Understand and Accept the Following:

1. If you lose a tennis match it does not reflect on you as a person

2. If you lose a tennis match your friends will still respect you

3. Losing one tennis match will not define your tennis career

4. Losing a tennis match does not mean you are a loser

There is another key point to make when it comes to the consequences of losing. It relates to both present and past



experiences associated with losing.

Example 1: You can be afraid of present negative consequences that are valid and are realistic. That is if you do lose they will in factoccur. For example: if you lose your match, you won't get the prize money you need to pay for a hotel that night. I canrelate to this exact thought as I was faced with this scenario many times when playing on the global satellite tour andliving from one week to another.

The plan below has to do with the consequences that happen now, in which the emotional pain is not based on pastpainful events.

Your Plan of Action:

Begin by writing down all of the possible negative consequences of losing that could happen.

After writing down these consequences, ask yourself:

1. What are the chances of this actually happening?

2. If it does in fact happen, can I handle it?

3. Will I be ok and be able to continue playing tennis?

When your mind starts to create all these dramatic consequences of losing you need to take a moment to think aboutthe facts and the reality of these things actually happening.

Of the Things You Fear:

1. 40% will never happen

2. 30% are in the past

3. 12% are unnecessary concerns and worries about your health

4. 10% are insignificant, petty and miscellaneous fears



5. And only about 8% are real and legitimate concerns

We cannot control more than half of the 8% of concerns we have that are real and legitimate.

The answer to stop fearing losing is to not just dispel your fears, but to face them head on!

You need to face your fear head on and establish a belief that what you actually fear is unrealistic, unlikely to happenand is not that bad if it does occur!

Where the negative consequences are in fact real, you must accept them. That is, you must be willing to endure thenegative consequences of losing a match. I knew that if I lost I wouldn't be able to stay in a nice hotel; I would bedisappointed and would feel a sense of temporary discouragement. So what? This was just a short term inconvenienceand not a life shattering event.

Your mind has the annoying ability to make these negative consequences seem devastating and horrible, so that youlose perspective of what "devastating" really is.

Devastating is losing someone close to you, not losing a tennis match!

You simply need to produce a realistic perspective of what a devastating, horrible and bad feeling actually is. Now see ifany of those actually relate to your “consequences” of losing a tennis match!

Until you accept that there will be some negative consequences of losing, you will not be able to eliminate thisperformance destroying fear of losing. You will continue to face future matches with increased anxiety, nervousness,uncontrollable thoughts, and the inability to focus on the task at hand.

Continued.....

Example 2: Past Negative Experiences

You can be afraid of a previous bad experience related to losing that has stayed with you and has become engrained inyour mind. For example; when playing in juniors did your tennis coach or one of your parents get mad at you and berateyou in public for losing? I saw this occur many times at the junior level and still do today when watching a juniortournament.



So What Can You Do to Help Eliminate this Type of Fear?

Your Plan of Action:

You need to understand that this type of fear is related to you having subconscious memories and pain associated withlosing in the past.

This emotional pain stays in your subconscious as you have yet to effectively accept it and deal with it. As a result eachtime you enter competition you will trigger and experience this fear of similar pain. Your response will be to avoid it whenin fact you need to face it head on.

We have this “protective mechanism” to protect us from pain and it will do so by comparing current situations to pastevents that led to this fear or pain.

This protective mechanism results in your mind identifying these “similar past negative feelings

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Tennis Psychology - How to Conquer Your Fear of …media.hometeamsonline.com/photos/htosports/GTACS/... · Tennis Psychology - How to Conquer Your Fear of Losing! 7/17/13 10:22 PM