Texting and Relationships: Are You Keeping Him Interested or Driving Him Away?

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  • 7/30/2019 Texting and Relationships: Are You Keeping Him Interested or Driving Him Away?

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    Copyright 2012 Dating with Dignity|All rights reserved.

    Texting and Relationships: Are You Keeping

    Him Interested or Driving Him Away?

    The art of texting in dating and relationships is a skill on which most of us could improve. In theage of constant contact via social media and especially texting, there are some Dating withDignity guidelines to successfully navigate thisworld within your relationships.When it comes to texting and relationships,theres a fine line between keeping himinterested and driving him away. So are youguilty of over-texting your guy? Here are a fewways to find out:1. If your text is longer than the length of

    your thumb, its TOO LONG.Texting is a great medium for communication,especially when it comes to things like wishingsomeone good luck on an interview orconfirming a meeting place. It can also be great in a relationship to send a quick note lettingyour guy know youre thinking about him (provided you arent only going into date number two).But if youre dating a new guy or in a relationship and your text is so long it has to be dividedinto three paragraphs, it's definitely too long.

    Also, its very easy to misinterpret texts since you arent communicating directly. When thenuances of voice, tone and body language are missing, the little gremlin voice inside oftenassumes the worst and interprets every message based on the filter of your past experiences. If

    youre trying to engage in a conversation or express frustration, anger or disappointment, donthit Send! Instead, save it for a real, live conversation. It will probably go better; and mostimportantly, you wont have to wait for a response (or, even worse, give him ample time to writea message designed to manipulate rather than communicate). 2. Do you text him daily to check in? Or are you expecting him to text every day?

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    Copyright 2012 Dating with Dignity|All rights reserved.

    If you are, then youre definitely guilty of over-texting and unrealistic expectations. Texting himdaily to say hi without giving him the chance to think of you is likely to send him packing.If youre the one constantly texting him first, even if its just say hello or check in, youre settingthe framework for your relationship. And the framework youre creating is one where he just sitsback and lets you do all the work. If you want to have that type of relationship, then be ourguest. However, if youre looking for a balanced relationship with a quality man who is

    relationship-ready, make sure he puts in the effort to court you.3. Patience is a virtue; impatience is not.If you find yourself anxiously waiting for your guy to write you back, obsessively looking at yourphone, and missing out on the NOW moments of your real life, if may indicate that youremaking dating your whole life rather than a part of it. If you feel like hes taking too long(whatever that means to you) and you often send multiple question marks instead of giving yourguy some time to reply (Maybe hes in the shower!), youre pushing too hard.Give him some time. And if youre with friends, at work, or at the gym, its not mandatory torespond within 30 seconds. As long as youre not playing games, being actively engaged in yourlife ultimately creates a bit of mystery. Even five minutes can go a long way! Texting is great; just keep yourself in check so instead of driving your man away, you keep himinterested.

    Marni Battista, founder of Dating with Dignity, has professional training in dating and relationship coaching as well as

    training in the Core Energy Coaching Process from the Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (IPEC). A certified Life

    Coach through the International Coaching Federation, Battista is also a Master Practitioner at administering an Energy

    AssessmentThe D-Factorwhich helps clients pinpoint exactly why they are or are not "date-able" and what types of

    messages they unconsciously broadcast to men based on their thoughts, feelings, actions and attitudes.