The Amazing Adventures of Bob

8/8/2019 The Amazing Adventures of Bob

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The Amazing Adventures of Bob: Medieval

Style

Many tales have been told about our intrepid character, but few are known as widely as thisone. This is the story of Bob entering the mysterious woods in northern Britannia on his way tovisit the mystifying Merlin. During these harsh and dangerous ages his voyage was filled with

peril, but Bob just had to go meet Merlin, they hadn¶t had a chicken and pineapple salad in ages!

He seemed to be in a bizarre forest filled with imps and could faintly hear the scream of theone called Garland, but his mind was set on the main objective: find Merlin and have

fun«unless he happened to pass by something interesting of course. After a few days of walkingand unimportant battles, he saw a very strange sight indeed; it seemed to be a gigantic spotted

mushroom with a dark cave at its base. As he walked closer he suddenly heard something or someone rushing towards him! He dodged it at the last second and noticed that it was a hairy

little man wearing a shabby cloak. Bob helped the strange man up and realized he had very hairyfeet and hands, along with a fairly slim body; must be a hobbit he thought.

³I¶m sorry mate!´ said the hobbit«he was sure he¶d heard that voice somewhere before«

³I¶m fine, just walk next time,´ said Bob, ³what would your name be stranger, and where areyou rushing to or away from?´

³Me name is Frodo and I¶s is going to Mordor with Sam!´

³Frodo? Mordor? Sam? I REALLY think you¶re in the wrong story hobbit.´

³Story? No this is no story I have to destroy the ring! The one and only ring! With Sam!´

³Well I¶m sorry I had to do this you smelly little man,´ said Bob as he picked Frodo up andthrew him out of the very pages of existence. ³Well that¶s that«I guess. Now back to what I was

saying before I was so rudely interrupted by something that made no sense whatsoever, maybe if I looked at page one«oh yeah! The cave!´ After remembering where he was going, he went

towards the odd cave in the mushroom. As he approached it he noticed two curious things; thatthere was a strange wreath of pink flowers surrounding the cave¶s entrance, and that there was a

wooden sign with three words engraved on it: Beware of Dragon.

A normal person would have immediately run away, but we¶re talking about Bob here, helaughs at danger, nay he plays with danger! So as he walked in he began to laugh, first a softchuckle but eventually it became a maniacal laugh one would expect from Dr. Frankenstein upon

creating the monster we know so well today. After about twenty minutes of uncontrolledlaughter he was interrupted by a popping sound nearby. As he walked deeper into the cave the

sound grew and just as he heard a loud POP he bumped into something unnaturally scaly.

³Who goesssss there´ said a snake-like voice right under him.



³No one that shouldn¶t be here´ Bob replied.

³What a lame reply, I should eat you for that, but inssstead I¶ll invite you into my cozy hovel.´Cozy was the last thing he thought this was but he played along and accepted. Suddenly torches

all around the interior of the cave lit up and he could see. He had walked into what appeared to

be the creature¶s bedroom, full of golden treasures and torn corpses. Suddenly all the pieces of the puzzle came together and he realized the huge mistake he had committed. He had walkedinto a dragon¶s lair without a single offering of treasures; he was now certainly dead.

³Well,´ said the dragon, ³what offering do you bring me sssstrange human?´

³I brought you a-a-a this!´ he said as he took off his golden gauntlet. ³I hope you like it!´

³Yesssss, impressive. I like thissss gift very much human, very very much.´ Bob was relieved,that hadn¶t gone so bad, not at all, it was rare to see such a kind and hospitable dragon, I wonder

when he¶ll eat me.

As the dragon led me even deeper into his cave, I took in the surroundings; the main decorationseemed to be bleach white corpses and glowing torches with shining jewels around them. It

smelled like a dwarf on a good day with a little bit of what I supposed orc feet must smell like.

³Ahhh,´ he sighed, ³I¶m so rude, I haven¶t even told you my name! It¶s Fluffy by the way; sure

it may not be so common for a DRAGON to be called fluffy but my parents were very liberal onmany subjects, especially names, so I ended up with this not so glamorous name«I seem to be

rambling on, please excuse me I haven¶t had visitors in ages´.

³What about me!´ said a strange very badly drawn and what appeared to be an eight-bit

cartoon red figure that had popped out of nowhere.

³As I was saying, in AGES´

³What about ME!´

³AGES I say´

³ME!´

³Oh fine! I got this freak like two weeks ago, but he doesn¶t count on my record.´

³My name¶s Fighter! I like swords!´

³That¶s nice.´

³Wanna here about my latest invention?´

³No one wants to here it Fighter.´



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The Amazing Adventures of Bob