90s NY STREET STYLE MUSIC TECHNOLOGY FICTION PEOPLE WATCHING THAD McCOTTER

“Oh. Okay. I see. You think this has noth-ing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select… that lumpy blue sweat-

er, But what you don’t know is that that sweater is not just blue, it’s not tur-quoise. It’s not lapis. It’s actually ce-rulean. And you’re also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar de la

Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves Saint Lau-rent… wasn’t it who showed cerulean mili-tary jackets. And then cerulean quickly

showed up in the collections of eight dif-ferent designers. And then it filtered down through the department stores…that blue represents millions of dollars and count-less jobs and it’s sort of comical how you think that you’ve made a choice that ex-empts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you’re wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this

room.”-Miranda Priestly

The Devil Wears Prada

Welcome to the debut issue of inconnu magazine!

We came up with the idea for inconnu at a yogurt shop in McLean VA, our junior year of high school. Despite the enthusiasm we had for our dream, inconnu lay dormant for a few years until this past summer’s epiphanic moment. We realized that we could create an inspired magazine that peo-ple would actually want to read without a big budget. We have an amazing team of contributors on this issue who got behind us without the slightest notion of getting paid for their work. We’re not going to sit here and try to tell you exactly what inconnu is and exactly what you can expect, because that would be boring! Our hope is that it will be a magazine that evolves as we do. But we can tell you what we’re inspired by: Ghost World, Jean-Michel Jarre and really soft cheese. We find inspiration for inconnu everywhere, especially while getting lost on one of our many wild goose chases. Whether we’re trying to find a tiny Provencal restaurant in Paris or an off the beaten path movie theater in the rain, we can always find inconnu because it’s a state of mind. Our articles are meant to start a train of thought, spark creativity or even create a discussion, not to provide answers. We’re not going to try to tell you how to dress, what music to listen to, or how to behave in order to attract the opposite sex (as if we knew how to anyway!). We would love for you to participate in the conversation; you can send inconnu mail to:

oneletter from the editors

In the US- inconnu magazine,310 3rd Ave, #2004New York, NY 10010

We are so happy to have finally completed the hardest part of this whole process, launching our first issue. We hope you enjoy it as much as we do.

xoxo,Kellie and Joanna

In Canada- inconnu magazine,2636-5 Fairview Cr.Vancouver, BC, V6T 2BN.

two

two

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contributors:

marielle grenade-willis, kate dolan, mike kerr, janice guzon, nina kiridzija, nicole lipitz, jennifer mawyer, greg donnelly, danean neill, diana lupieri, emma gauthier, katie locke, asako mikumo, tess kramer, stephanie

devonshire, josephine raccuia, nicole devonshire, brett trainor, daniel stettner, cherry hang, desi rekrut, tetra-

dugenica, hooking up, chestpiece

joanna harkinseditor-in-chief

co-founder

kellie hogancreative director

co-founder

taylor broganchief contributing

editor

jackson krule-Street photographer behind our “sweet jane“ spread and student at Tisch school of the Arts. krule.tumblr.com.

claudia chmarzewski-Unrepresented model in “sweet jane“, NYU studet, YSL intern, and friend of inconnu.

scott alderman-A DC-based chef who has also worked as a restauant consul-tant. Scott sat down with us for the interview “Simple.“

four

contents6 - “what’s my age again?“ by kellie hogan

7 - “song memory: ceremony” by taylor brogan

8 - live tweeting with soon yi & others

9 - feature: “odd shaped candle of the month”

10 - “the disciplined sport of people watching“ by joanna harkins

12 - “under your skine“ by emma gauthier

16 - art features: katie locke and tess kramer

17 - “thad mccotter“ by taylor brogan

18 - what to keep a look out for: fall

19 - “mad hard vibing on the west coast”

22 - a playlist for people who hate where they live

23 - movies

24 - fiction

26 - “sonic exploration” by mike kerr

27 - “lazy hazy crazy days of summer”

34 - fashion

38 - “guessing games“ by danean neill

40 - “sweet jane” with jackson krule

52 - “simple” an interview with chef scott alderman

55 - horoscopes

57- feature: coloring book questionaire

five

editorial

W H A T ’ S M Y A G E A G A I N ?Kellie Hogan “How old would you be, if you didn’t know how old you are?” For as long as I can remember I have felt young for my age. At 19 years old, I still DJ my mental breakdowns to Avril Lavigne’s Let Go. In grade 10, my friend Julie* and I used to skip gym class to get a double-feature lunch period. We would pick up McFlurries and race back to my house to watch the new Hannah Montana episode. The following day, when we had to explain our absences to Mr. Boss (yesthatreallywashisname),wealwayssaidthatwewereattheOrthodontist.Whenweflashedhimourbig,metal-filledsmiles,everythingwouldbeokay. Now I am well into my second year of University, boyfriend-less and still often mistaken for a high-schooler by the ladies at the Lancôme counter in Holt Renfrew. But I recently realized that it takes a certain level of maturity to learn not to take yourself too seriously: I have plenty of lofty crushes on enig- matic men I see in the park, draw cartoons on sticky notes and only read the movie showtimes in the newspaper. However, I don’t believe that any of these things has the slightest bearing on how old I am. Lately, I have been very interested in this idea of an experiential age. The idea that our age comes with our expe-riences and where we stand ac- cording to society’s age roles. It’s hard for me, being both young at heart and an old soul, in a world where people prize growing up fast and then never aging. North Ameri- can culture says girls should be dating, wearing makeup and taking interest in fashion and other grown-up activities by no later than middle school. Meanwhile celebrity culture says that as soon as you get a few crows feet and a sliver of grey, it’s time to start trying to turn back the clock. Being young for your age depicts you as a free spirited fairy, a cute pixie, a dreamy idealist, and in many circles, naive and immature. It has taken me roughlythepast19yearstocomfortablymeldmyintellectandinterestinside-walkchalk.TofindthathappyfusionofmyfixationwithHelloKittyparaphernalia,myinterestinsocialjusticeandmyfre-quenting of Edward Albee plays. Next time you your dad tells you that you’re too old to watch iCarly or play dress-up, think of whati’mtellingyou.InhighschoolIdressedupforHalloweenasateenagemutantninjaturtle,aprincess, a kindergartener, and a mermaid. I will personally allow you to think of me as your mentor of immaturity, your giggle-guide, your guardian grade schooler. Whether you’re 16 or 26, like what you like because you like it – that’s one of the goals I have for inconnu; develop a non-ageist set of cultural and social topics that we can discuss. I challenge all hipsters to go roller-blading with their grandparentsandenjoyit.MaybeeachissueIcanhaveaspecialhipsterchallenge;it’llbelike,“heyyou! you think you’re too cool for chocolate milk and crazy straws?” Okay, I don’t know. The point is, if I can go watch a little kids cheerleading competition with my friend and leave with stitches in my side and tears in my eyes from laughing too hard, so can you! So stop acting your age, quit growing up, and think about poor Tom Hanks in the movie ‘Big’.

* Name has been changed to protect permanent record

six editorial

song memories

ceremony by taylor brogan

WhenIfoundoutthatIwouldbetakingthebushomefromschoolIwasoverjoyed.Thiswas,

inmyeyesmyfirst“reallife”experience,anditarrivedhalfwaythroughmyfreshmanyearofhigh

school. I could not have been more thrilled to participate in such a mundane and quintessentially

American“publicschool”activity.AstheproductofovernineyearsofCatholicschooling,ofplaid

jumpers,ofreligionclasses,andofcarpoolingtoandfromschool,Ididn’tevenmindtherushtomy

locker after class in order to catch the bus—I welcomed it as a challenge, a moderately annoying set-

back.

My childhood best friend and I rode the bus together.

We lived miles away from school, and the bus rides lasted for

more than an hour. Sometimes I’d pass the time by propping a

textbook up on my knees and getting a large chunk of my home-

work out of the way. Some days I would fold my arms across my

chest, bow my head and nap the whole way home, or I would sit

across from my friend and laugh to the point of tears. It’s easy to

idealize anything, but I remember that even then, as it was hap-

pening, I was nostalgic for those bus rides home. It was like I was

already aware of how much I would miss it, so I tried hard not to

take those days for granted.

One afternoon late in spring, it was pretty hot out, and

all the windows on the bus had been pushed down. I stretched

outwithmybackpressedflatalongtheseatandpulledmymp3

player out of my backpack. We drove down winding suburban

lanes, past rows of trees, the leaves and branches making pat-

terns on the ceiling as the sunlight streamed in. I swirled my

fingerthoughtlesslyaroundincirclesuntilIfinallyselectedanartist.ItwasNewOrder,andtheonly

songoftheirsIevenhadinmycollectionwas“Ceremony”fromtheMarieAntoinettesoundtrack.

I shut my eyes and let the opening base line dissolve the rest of the world into a blurry, sunlit

impressionist painting. The muted bum bu-bu-bum bu-bum followed by the gradual build-up of

instrumentation—I memorized every strum and drum beat. I

clutchedtightlytomymp3(stilliPod-less)andInoddedmy

head, twitched my feet, and smashed on my air-guitar in time

with the music. God, if you asked me to perform the whole

song a capella by myself, I’m sure I could.

Istillconsider“Ceremony”myfavoritesongofall

time.“TheNewOrderversion,”I’llsay,andthemusic-snobs

willwinceandsay,“Butthat’saJoyDivisionsong.”“Yeah,

wellIliketheNewOrderversionbetter.”“But....but,JoyDivi-

sion!” My critics say it like Joy Division were this ineffable,

genius band—the end-all-be-all of new wave and the saviors

of mankind. I love Joy Division, sure, and I’ll dance to ‘em on

occasion,butthewonderfulthingaboutmusicisthatitexistsbothinandoutsideofitself.BeitKaty

Perry’s“TeenageDream”orJoyDivision’s“LoveWillTearUsApart,”eachandeverysongmeans

something different to everyone who hears it. There are no good songs or bad songs; there are only

songs that mean something to you and songs that don’t—genres that appeal to you and genres that

don’t.SowhatifIliketheNewOrderversionmore?Ihearditfirst.Inmymind,“Ceremony”isaNew

Order song, and it brings me back to that moment when I laid down on a bus seat on a spring after-

noon and realized that I had the rest of my life ahead of me. It’s the best song I’ve ever heard.

sevensong memories

eight

twitterthis whole page is just an excuse for us to talk about our #offi cial #spirit #animal, soon-yi previn

a little birdy told me

honorable mentions

follow us @inconnumag

OK, So despite her twitter handle being “realsoonyi”, it has not been verifi ed that this twitter actually belongs to soon-yi previn (aka woody allen’s current wife), but frankly, we don’t care. Just read a few of her glorious tweets and you will not be disappointed. If this really is her, she sure is extremely self-aware and knows how to joke about herself, I mean, she referrs to woody allen as “dad husband”...

inconnu staff

thatta girl. ladies and gentlemen, our editor in chief.

i think this was my best tweet. #inconnucreativedirector

thank you jonah hill. i repeat this joke to everyone i meet. #proverbs

our chief contributing editor is a must follow. she tweets humor and intellect and helpful advice for writ-ing yelp reviews.

amanda bynes delivers wisdom.

a little birdy told me

nine

odd

-sha

ped

cand

le o

f th

e m

ont

h This month’s odd-shaped candle comes from Peace-Blossom Candles in Oregon. While it is meant to depict the Venus of Willendorf, we’ve made up our own story behind this mysterious figure.

While many associate Easter Island with the kind of large, mysterious statues that Squidward found home-worthy, the island itself has a quite com-

plex colonial and political history. During the Italian Renaissance, a Dutch painter named Vilhelm van Coch impregnated a young woman from Florence by the name of Puerta Rica de Medici. Puerta was voluptuous by Florentine standards; the schoolchildren whispered stories about her in their school-

yards, often referring to her as mucca signora or the Cow Lady. As soon as the morning sickness took hold of Puerta, Vilhelm, terri-

fied of the impending wrath of the Medici family, fled for Amsterdam, leav-ing Puerta to care for their bastard child on her own. Her natural largeness

helped conceal her situation, though her father Dominico had his suspicions. Midway through her second trimester, Puerta boarded a cargo ship bound for

Easter Island, which would be her final resting place. Four months later, Puerta, having fallen in love with a Spanish colonizer

named Marco Magellan, gave birth to a healthy Dutch-Italian baby boy. She named him Ferdinand, a Spanish name, in the hopes that the boy would not be treated as a bastard. Puerta and Marco never married, though they told

the other settlers that they had tied the knot years ago. Puerta never lost the baby weight, and the Island climate was at times oppressively hot. She was often seen wandering naked along the shore, wear-ing nothing but the beaded hat her father had given her--the only reminder of

her life back in Florence.By T

aylo

r Bro

gan

puerta rica de medici

The Disciplined

Sport of People WatchingBy Joanna Harkins

ItoldmyselfthatIcameheretowork.Ialsotoldmyselfthatthe“whitenoise” of peoples’ conversations all meshing together would help me concen-trate. I always come to this diner in an attempt to get some reading done while eating lunch, but I always end up reading the people at surrounding tables in-stead. Thefirsttimeitwasthegroupofstrappingyoungpoliceacademyguys-discussing different types of robbery while eating salads (they’re trying to keep their weight down, you know). Next it was the two old ladies from Long Island who were, rather loudly, complaining that their order was wrong. And today, it’s the 40-something American guy giving a 20-something Brazilian photogra-pher a pep-talk and apartment-hunting advice. It’s amazing how much you can findoutaboutsomeonebyjustwatchingthem,right? MaybeitsjustbecauseIgrewupwithmydadteachingmeaboutbodylanguageand“groupdynamics”butpeoplewatchingisabouttheonlysportI’veeverbeengoodat.“Lookatthatcircleofpeopleoverthere”hewouldsay,“that’stheguyyouneedtowin-overinordertogainapprovalofthegroup”or“youcantellbythewaythatguy’sstandingthathelikesthatgirlnexttohim.”Psych anyone? Whilepeoplewatchingmaynotfitthetraditionaldefinitionofasport,Imaintain that its a sport of sorts because it takes a certain amount of skill to do

Illustrations by Diana Lupieri

editorialten

properly and because there is a wrong waytodoit.Peoplemightstartgettingfreakedoutifyoujuststareatthem-you’re not trying to be creepy, you’re justtryingtolearnsomethingfromtheway people interact and react. I love trying to imagine peoples’ daily lives based on what I can observe for a brief amount of time. Based on the information I can gather from their clothes,hair,jewelry,conversations,the book they’re reading, do I think they’re single or in a relationship? What do they do for a living? What are they thinking about? Why does that guy look nervous? Maybe he’s wait-ing for his date. That girl does not look comfortable in those shoes. But now I’m going to lay down a few ground rules, I think it’s about timesomeonedid.One:Notalkingtothepeopleyou’reobserving.You’renolongerjuststudyingthemfromafar,you’reinteracting-that’scheatingandyoujustlostthegame.Two:Trytobediscrete.Bringabook-thelesspeoplenoticeyou,themoreyoucanwatchthem.Minusfivepointsforlettingsome-onehearyourconversation.Three:Peoplewatchingisfirst and foremost an individualsport.Youhavetomasteritonyourownbeforeitbecomesateamsport. It’s natural to want to observe other people, whether you’re learning something from them or not. No longer do we have to observe people in a diner(HotJewwithjaweats,chewsandleavesmebreathless.)wenowhavefacebook, twitter, tumblr and sites like overheardinnewyork.com. These are all differentformsofpeoplewatching.Technologyisjusttheperfectoutletforourcuriosity. The disciplined sport of people watching is an equalizer, it doesnt care how much money you make or who your friends are. Celebrities that have their lives diplayed on the front page become one of us; yes they lead exciting livesfilledwithsex,drugsandrockn’roll-butintheend,they’rejustlikeus-

People are people.

editorial eleven

Poignancy-loversrejoice;astheseconddecaseofthe21st

century marks a return to the staple styles of the mid-19th,

creative documentation follows suit. The recent resurgence

ofthemolekinewelcomeshomethetraditionofPicasso,

Wilde, Hemingway and Van Gogh; stray thoughts become

ink,notlightsonascreen&visionsfitsquarelybehind

leather bound seams.

underyourskine

written and illustrated by Emma Gauthier

twelve

twelve

the Moleskinejournalisunique,inthatitleavesdirectionentirelyinthehands

of it’s holder. There are editions produced with various patterns of black lines (or lack

thereof) meant to cater to the scribblings of the composers, the authors, and doodlers -

but the rules quite literally end there. nodates,nonumbers,noflowersinthemargins;the

responsibilityisyoursfromthefirstpage.

above, music lined paper is a

happy through-between for writ-

ers and illustrators alike; below,

portraits are an effective tool in

achieving contained self-actualiza-

tion.

it’stheraputic:afree-for-alljournalisan

excellent outlet - a one stop art gallery,

library,diary,allofwhichfitneatlybehind

two leather bounds.

therealbeautyofajournalliesnotinhowwellit’swrittenorhow

beautifulitappears.thethingthatmakesajournalreallylovely

isthefactthatit’ssimplicitymakesagreatervesselthananyflag-

shipevercouldbe.anobjectthatcanholdandpreservetheideas

that mull and tumble in a thoughtful mind is one that should be

used often, and without hesitation or reservation.

tl;dr:don’tholditin;fillablankpageandstakeyourclaim!

fifteen

ART FOCUS:STRUCTUREStudiesonstructure(lefttoright):“M

anifestedStructure”,“BedProcess”,and“Structure”.

KathrynLocke: artist and stu-dent at Moore College of Art and Design in Philidelphia,“Thestructuresarenotabouttheopti-cal reality of their existence in space, but rather an external manifestation of emotions associated with shelter. I paint with the meaning of home in mind as a sacred hiding place to safely indulge in disgrace and pleasure. I seek to understand the relation between ourselves to structures, outside and inside, what is called to focus and what is not.”

TessKramer:artistandNYUfilmproductionstudent,“NewYorkisgreatinblackand white. Everything is moving all the time. Even the buildings are alive. The shadows are remnants of those movements.”

(lefttoright):“WallStreet”(1),“Balconies”,and“WallStreet”(2).

art featuressixteen

1. MUD Coffee: In a city like New York where there’s a coffee shop around every corner, it’s hard to actually find good coffee that’s worth your money. They have a storefront at 307 east 9th street that also serves soup, sandwiches and salads and has live music. You can find the MUD truck where I get my coffee every morning at Astor Place, right outside the subway.

2. Lullaby: While this movie was released in France and Canada in December of 2010, it hasn’t gained the acclaim it deserves in the US yet. I was lucky enough to meet the director, Benoît Philippon, at a screening of the film in Paris and learned all about how the casting of Forest Whitaker fulfilled a cinematic dream for Philippon. With Clémence Poésy and Rupert Friend as the lead roles, the film follows the romance of a down on his luck musician and an artist named Pi.

3. Rookie: Brainchild of blogger Tavi Gevinson and inspired by the now defunct Sassy magazine from the 90’s, Rookie is an online magazine aimed at teenage girls. With articles like “Aubrey Plaza: Phantom Raider” and “Literally the Best Thing Ever: Famous Goth Kids” it’s so much more than fashion. Drawing heavily on 90’s cul-ture and with a different theme each month, this is the magazine I wish I would have had in high school.

4. New Girl: Who doesn’t love Zooey Deschanel? The ultimate man-ic-pixie-dream-girl has finally made it to a major network. In New Girl Zooey plays an “adorkable” schoolteacher who, after a break-up, moves in with three guys she met on the internet. It reminds me of a sillier hybrid of Friends and 500 Days of Summer: a classic sitcom about 20-somethings making their way in a big city all the while retaining Zooey’s indie charm. I already have my money on Nick as the one she ends up with.

5. Fashion Trend- Birds: Birds may be an overly-obvious symbol of the coming of spring, but several designers featured birds in some form or another in their Spring 2012 collections. Marc by Marc Jacobs had small abstract pink and blue birds, Kenzo had parrots, and Carolina Herrera had sparrows. What i’m most interested in by this trend is the way it ends up trickling down from runway to the department stores and the larger “fashion-consciousness”.

What To Keep A Look Out For-Fallby Joanna Harkins

nineteen

twenty

twenty

twenty-one

twenty-two playlist

songs for people who hate where they livera ra riot ~ massachusetts

simon joyner ~ only living boy in omahabeach fossils ~ vacation

andrew jackson jihad ~ this is why i’m hotcasiotone for the painfully alone ~ seattle, wa

the smiths ~ there is a light that never goes outthe wooden sky ~ when we were young

beirut ~ east harlemborn ruffians ~ i need a life

this is ivy league ~ the richest kids in townsimon & garfunkel ~ only living boy in new york

draw

ings

by

dian

a lu

pier

i

get more of greg’s musical recommendations at gregorysmusicrecommendations.tumblr.comlisten to this and other playlists at 8tracks.com/inconnumag

A Portrait of the Artist as an Old Man Woody, Woody, Woody. There is no one else quite like you. From Annie Hall, to Bananas, to Sweet and Lowdown, you have always created a hilarious, sarcastic and sweet pictures of human existance. Once I discovered your work, I became a submissive creature, worshipping your painful pessimism and high-brow philosophical refer-ences with blind admiration. In the old days, you chased after girls who were out of your league, butwhowereinsecureenoughtofindyouranxi-ety endearing. Now, as a 75 year old auteur, your filmshavebecomehappier,moreoptimistic,andstarringmorehandsomemeninthehigh-strungrolethatyouonceplayed.LikeBenjaminButton,you’reagingbackwards;becomingslowlymoredynamic,more extraverted, and unfortunatley, less interesting. Midnight in Paris was beautiful and funny, but itlackedsomekindofkeyWoodyAllenfeature.Sincethe‘80’s,yourfilmshavebeen(forthemostpart) lackluster. They all seem to be missing the essential reason why your comedy works so well: that it’s a mechanism of coping with your fears and anxieties about love and death. Death isn’t nearly as scarywhenyoujokeaboutitineverymoviefrom1970to2011,isit?Foroursake,atleastthecastingisstillstrong.Themagicstilldoesexist,butIforonejustwishyournewfilmshadalittlemoreofthemiseryandworryoftheoldstuff,becausealongwiththoseneuroses,camethebestjokesofall. -KellieHogan

M i d n i g h t i n P a r i sStarring owen wilson, rachel mcadams, marion cotillard, alison pill, kathy bates, adrien brody, tom hiddleston, kurt fuller, mimi kennedy, and carla bruni.

AsclassicWoodyAllenfilmcreditsbeginrolling,letscenesofthepictureperfectParistransportyououtofyouraridtheatreseatandintoitscharmingabyss.Allen’snewestfilmfollowsGil

(Wilson), a 21st century writer with a 20th century soul, who isfascinatedbytheLostGenerationanddazzledbyParis’allure.WhenheandhisdomineeringfiancéInez(McAdams)accompany her conservative parents on a business trip to Paris,thehopelesslyromanticGilwhoisstrugglingtofinishhisfirstnovelcanthinkofnothingbetterthanleavinghissuccessful screenwriting career in LA and, much to Inez’s dismay, permanently moving to the city of light. An already rocky engagement becomes worse when Gil, in addition to escaping outings with Inez’s pretentious acquaintances, be-ginstakingmidnightwalksthroughParis’cobblestoneroadsandfindshimselfintheerahehasalwaysdreamedofandin the company of his greatest literary heroes. But is escap-ing the present for the tempting past really the solution to his pre-marriage crisis? Though no deeper than a two inch puddle, viewers will lose themselves in grandoise scenery, stellar performances, enigmatic characters, and a magically nostalgicstoryline,makingMidnightinParisaneffortlesslychic getaway. -NinaKiridzija

twenty-threemovies

InthePhilippines,acertainflowergrowsinthegraveyards.Theflower’sbeautyisstrikingbutsolemn,sowecalltheseflowersmakahi-yas,or“theshyones,”inFilipino.

Age four and my family would take metoPhilippinecemeteriesto celebrate our histories,andweredefinedthe“extended”inextendedfamily. We’d come like tribes, no, like bees to hives, and we gathered over bought bouquets that diedwith the dead and buried, and stuck stickyto syrupy sweet memories plastered to honeycombed tombstones.

But the makahiyas, they stood on their ownand with the tutu petals peeled awaythe gravegrounds while the rays, they—they gave witness to the resilience, testament to the imminence of virgin debuts to a horizonthat would kiss awake buds with the dewof a newmorning.

And us children, we were excitedto accept the invitationsof open faces that seemed to grin not in amusementbut for our amusement. When we touched their pinksthesepoorflowerswouldshrivelupandnotawakeagaintoflourishuntil the next morning.

My mother used to say, “Leavethemakahiyasalone,Janice”and this would prompt my childish“mommy,whys”;why do they fold in a rush,justfromabrushand the mere touch ofachild’sfinger?”Then my mother would point totheir timidityto hold accountability for their retreat.

As I grew older, I came to concludethattheseflowersmightdancetheir bashful ballet away fromourfingersnotbecausetheywereafraidand I was amazed todiscoverthattheseflowersweresaying,crying, proclaiming, that they answered to no one but the new day—nottochildren’sfingers,not to the graves,not to the wind, and not to the rain. AndIthought,inhomagetotheseflowersthat outstretch their arms in effort to walk the line at whichtheheavensandthefieldsdothe pas de deux, that the makahiyas should have been called the malalakas, or the strong ones in Filipino.

McGill walked through her tiny kitchen into her tiny living room and sat down with yogurt and carrots. She sat on her cerulean futon for several minutes stirring the thick yogurt with a carrot stick . It is commendable that she was able to sit for so long without really thinking about anything or paying anyattentionatalltoanyexternalstimulants.Youtrythat!Theshadowsofbooksandbric-a-braconMcGill’s legs began to shift up closer to her groin and she knew by her medieval mind that it was now dusk. So she popped James and the Giant Peach (1996) into the DVD player and ate her yogurt well into the night.

MAKAHIYAS by Janice Guzon

Post It’s World Tour by Kellie Hogan

fi ctiontwenty-four

twenty-five

‘post it’s world tour’

Around2:30amMcGill’slive-innanny,Pistol,camehomewearingaNewYorkKnickshatandanorangeparkathatmadehimlooklikeanoilrefiner,shethought.McGillwashalf-awake;enoughtomakeobservationsbutnotenoughtospeakherthoughtsaloud.PistoltouchedMcGill’slefthandgentlyandplaceditintohisrighthand.WithhislefthandheliftedhisKnickshatbythebrimandshookouthishair,makingsureitreacheditsfullfluffpotential.PistolplacedhisKnickshatbackontohis head. He tugged McGill by the arm, lifting her up off the futon. She, now standing up quite close tohisface,blinkedveryslowlyandsmiledlazily,implyingsleepiness.Pistolsatdownonthefloorandopenedhislaptop,ablueglowpouringontohisunshaven,masculineface.PistolandMcGilllaydownside-by-side on their stomachs, naming African countries on Sporcle.

“Sporcleissodarling”,McGillsaidinherslow,sweet,southerndrawl.Afterthe10minutesareup,theyhavesuccessfullynamedallofthecountriesexceptfortwo:GabonandBurundi.“Ugh,Gabonand Burundi! Those are hardly real!” McGill complained.

“Hehe,thosearehardlyreal…”Pistolrepeatedunderhisbreath.Shehadonlybeenkidding,heknew,they had that understanding. They both agreed that knowing the names of all the countries of the world makes hearing news stories of famine and war in those faraway lands seem more real.

McGill got up and walked into the tiny kitchen where she bumped her elbows against the walls as she brewed a pot of tea. While she waited for her tea to boil, she stood vacantly humming Rox-anne byThePoliceandPistolmindlesslyrefreshedhisGmailthreetimes.Theyrelocatedtotheceru-leanfutonforimprovedcomfort.PistolwinkedatMcGillintheknowingwaythathedid.Shekissedhislipsforamillisecondandthenletherbodyfallbackintothepillowswithherjasmineteapulledup to her mouth. She whispered into her teacup, calmly urging the hot liquid to cool down to a safer temperature.

“IthinkitwouldbereallyneatifsomeguynamedEddycalledyouandofferedyouthisjobforlike,Post-itnotes.Saylikethejobwasthatyoujusthadtotouraroundtheworld,tolikeRussiaandMexico;toChina,Djibouti,Senegal,CyprusandChile.Anyway,thisguy,whatdidIcallhim-“,Pistolstopped to think.

“-Eddy”,McGillcontributed.

“Ohthanks.Yeah,soEddyoffersyouajobtotourtheworldjustdrawingyourreallycutepicturesonstickynotesandwritingsilly,funny,randomcaptionslikeyoudo.And,youjusthandthemouttolikekids and tweens and stuff, and of course to old people, too. And moms-on-the-go and cool dads and uncooldads.”PistolbrokeofftobreatheandalsotocheckMcGill’sfaceforanysignsofamusement.She showed none.

“WouldIbegivenpastelstouse?”McGillasked.

“WouldyouturndownthejobwithPost-it’sWorldTouriftheydidn’tgiveyoupastelstouse?”Pistoljoked.McGillgiggledandlookeddownintohertea,shrugginghershoulders.

“WoulditallbelivestreamedontoYouTube?”McGillasked.

“Sure,”Pistolkissedhernoseandthenburped,“Sorry,”Hesaid.McGillthoughttoherselfthathewasvery Canadian. She fell asleep with her head in his lap, smiling. When she awoke she was sure that shehaddreamedfiveconsecutivedreamsofstirringyogurtwithdifferentobjectsincludingapirate’swooden leg and a croquet mallet.

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I love music. I love every corner of its ex-pansive universe, and I love to peruse through eternal libraries of song and tune and romp. A very large and ever-growing part of this uni-verse is that involving the digital age we all live in. Music has never been the same as it is today; from the creation of music to the distribution and accessibility for the public audience, music is done differently nowadays. As a deep lover of music I have to ask- are we getting all we can get?Isourenjoymentofmusicbeingheldbackby this digital age? What is there to say about the quality of recorded music in 2011? There are tons of variables that go into how much of your music you’re listening to. If you’re listening through the built in speakers ofthenew“uni-body”MacbookPro,you’renotgetting any bass from your music because the speakers within the metal frame have nothing tobounceoff,justflat,solidmetal.However,ifyourheadisinbetweenDrDre’s“Beats”head-phones, the bass coming through is boosted by drivers within the speakers, and can distort or destroy the music you’re listening to. But what if the bigger issue came from long before you plugged in your headphones? The digital format at the very base of your music might be what is keeping you apart from total sonic euphoria. A standard digital audio format was not introduced to the populous of music lovers until the early 90s, before which music was taken in from analog sources. An analog source would be something not involving digital signals like those of a computer; vinyl records are an analog form of audio. When CDs were released as the replace-ment to vinyl records and cassette tapes, many artists refused to have their music released on CDs, because of the lower quality. To get the audio data from the analog recording on to the digital format of a CD, the audio had to be compressed, and in early CDs songs sounded muffledorhadsoundscompletelymissing.As

technology improved through the 90s the qual-ity of CDs got better and as digital recording equipment made its way into more studios it was easier to release the music in digital form rather than analog. ThedigitalaudioformatofanMP3,isdoing pretty much the same thing that early CDsweredoing,compressingtheaudiofiledowntofitinasmallerspace.WiththeriseofMP3playersandtheintroductionoftheiPod,where portability was key, the public was fed morefilesinasmallerspace.StandardMP3filescomeineither320kbps(kilobytespersecond) or 128 kbps. These numbers refer to thespeedorbitrateatwhichtheaudiofileswereconverted.Atahigherspeedof320kbps,acleaner,crisperaudiofileisrendered.Atthebitrate of 128 kbps, your music is basically los-ing some of its livelihood. These differences may not be too obvious and for all intents and purposes we’ve accepted them and load thou-sandsoflower-bitratesongsontoouriPodsbecausethat’sjusttheeasiestwaytodoit.Also,if you never hear a pure uncompressed audio fileyou’llneverknowthedifferenceanyway;butwhenIfoundoutaboutthedamagemp3scando to your music I felt cheated and went looking for a better way to listen to music. How can you achieve a listening experi-ence in higher quality? I can’t really tell you, it’s uptoyoutouploadyourcdsat320insteadof128,orifyou’reonline,buyingorfindingAIF(audiointerchangefile)versionsorFLAC(freelossless audio codec) versions of your favourite recordingssoyou’renotsubjectingyourselfto lower bitrate and distortion. There is a free programforPCandMaccalledAudacitywhichallows conversion of any audio format to any other audio format. It also records and has a slew of effects to apply to your music. These suggestions of course only really help those audiophiles that care deeply about themusictheylistento.Youcansettleforless,and half the time never know the difference, but if you’re ready to take the plunge into total geek-out euphoric sonic exploration, get your-self some higher quality recordings and you’ll be thanking your ears and mind later. Oh, and get a good set of speakers.

Sonic Exploration:A look at music technology and the way we listen to music today. By Mike Kerr

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take a trip through grassy fields and floral pools:squint your eyes under the bright august sun:

wear spf, drink lots of water, and don’t say we didn’t warn you.

lazy-hazy-crazy days of summer

PhotographedbyKellieHoganModeledbyMarielleGrenade-Willis(above)andKateDolanStyledbyJoannaHarkinsandKellieHogan

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Fashion’s Last Night Out?By Josephine Raccuia

Those of you itching to read a positive article on Fashion’s Night Out, look elsewhere. On the evening of September 5th, in-connu editor-in-chief, Joanna Harkins, and IattendedFashion’sNightOut.Itwasafirstfor both of us despite the fact that I’m a native Manhattanite and have willingly managed to avoid two years of Fashion’s Night Out’s. Why? A few reasons: Firstly, because it annoys New Yorkers,secondly,becauseFashion’sNightOutcauses nothing but distress and turmoil for the hardworking salespeople involved, and lastly, because the concept of the event has become completely convoluted. Now, it might be fabulous to say that you attended an invite-only party at the Louboutin boutique in the Meatpacking District only to see Jerseylicious’ Tracy DiMarco. It might be neat to have the memento of you and a friend stand-ing on each side of Elle Fanning at the Marc by Marc Jacobs store on Bleecker Street. However, yourjoywillbecompletelyincongruouswiththe Manhattanites who will have to risk sleep that night due to drunken Fashion’s Night Out strays roaming quiet neighborhoods because they can’t remember where they parked their car. Moreover, in addition to said strays being drunk, do you think that they attended the event to spend money or binge on the free booze? In other words, Fashion’s Night Out has become a free-for-all for all attendees: free alco-hol, free celebrity spectatorship, and free perks, even though the perks that are supposed to be free really come at a price. The original concept of Fashion’s Night Out – in addition to producing inebriated mobs – has gone astray. For those of you unfamiliar with the point of the event, Fashion’s Night Out was originally created by Vogue editor-in-chief

Anna Wintour to promote shop-ping in order to aid our suffering economy. Since its inception in 2009, the event went global – for the most part– this year includ-ing cities such as London and Tokyo. Never-theless, since I am unaware of people’s conduct this year in the other cities, the event in Manhat-tan has turned into a madhouse and does a very poorjobofpromoting the buying aspect. Moreover, the creators of theeventdidanevenpoorerjobofspreadingthe word that part of the proceeds made would go to the The Foundation for AIDS Research. This might have been helpful to know because sometimes people feel an incentive to shop when they know they are giving back to those who cannot help themselves- as opposed to fixingtheproblemthatthecurrentlynot-so-popular scions on Wall Street created. Nevertheless, while I – and I’m sure at least a handful of other Manhattanites and NewYorksalespeople–couldcontinuewrit-ing down the ten commandments of reforming Fashion’s Night Out, some say this year may be its last.

NYU students Grace Dunn and Gabriella Gjonaj with

Elle Fanning at Marc Jacobs.

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Whether based in the Big Apple or the outskirts of small-town suburbia, “it”trendsstillapplyandit’syourjobtoflauntthemwithoutmercy-butinyourown way. Here’s how you do it. With origins in Richmond, Vir-ginia, where hardcore heads and indie rock hipsters comprise the street-style fashion scene of the distinctly-cultured city, I was exposed to experimental fashions at an early age. It goes without sayingthatmyUrbanOutfittersarmygreencargojacket,localbandtees,andscuffed, worn, and weathered leather combat boots are long-standing and highly prized possessions of my ward-robe. However, after living in Richmond fortenyears,Icametofindthatmycity’strends were more static than evolution-ary as the fast-pace progression of a fash-ioncapitalexemplifies.Mystyle-seekingself had quickly become claustrophobic in my hometownand thirsting for a contemporary muse

or modern inspiration. This September’s back-to-school season brought its annual incentive or reinvention,butIfiguredthatfallen-tailed little updating forme and my closet as the greater popula-tion of Richmond would demonstrate. I am an active mag whore and blogger stalker in the fashion world, but the trends I read about and mulled over fromplaceslikeMilanandParisseemedbeyond my reality considering my cur-rent circumstances. Never in a million years did I think I could show up to a fri-day night RVA house show in a polished Rebecca Taylor ribbon trim blazer and flashyJeffreyCampbellLitaswithoutstares of confusion. Thosejustaren’ttheprevailingtrends in the area, and for that, I felt Richmond was stealing my style. ThestreetsofNYCarelitteredwithdesigner products on the feet of its na-tivesandthebelittlement“everydayisn’t

NEW YORK FASHION NO MATTER WHAT YOUR ZIP CODEBy Jenn Mawyer

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(All photos on this page taken from street-peeper.com)

YorkCity,Isuddenlyfeltnewfoundex-citement for the upcoming fall season which encouraged my enlightened train of thought: If I am passionate enough to follow the current runway trends, yet still sentimental to the Richmond ways, I needtofindsomesortofgrunge-meets-luxe balance. I told myself to go home and push my fear of acceptance aside, parading in what represents me, not my environment. The places in which we grow and learn undoubtedly shape us, but do notdefineus.Toallofyoufashionistasstuck spending your Saturday mornings with the usual venti coffee blend and your three bestgirlfriends, Marie Claire, Vogue, and Elle, allow me to remind you that fashion is a naturally disseminat-ing force, so take those key trends and make them your own, because there is an intermediaryatyourfingertips.Youjusthavetofindit,butthat’stheeasypart.Youstrivetoincorporatethoseantici-pated runway trends into yourdailyoutfit.Doyourresearchandshowyourknowledgeability.Yourown,au-thentic sense of style and self will both illuminate themselves in the process. Personally,mygameplaninRich-mond this fall is to pair these high fash-ion pieces with my grunge staples in order to channel a sophisticated and chic uptown polish, with a casual downtown edge. So far, my closet is looking like fur vests with an oversized white tee and black skinnies, long duster coats with combat boots, a more casual and afford-able wool knit cardigan to wear over a button-up oxford, and it’s still growing. Those are aspects of my fall wardrobe, however your closet may hold radically

a fashion show” simply doesn’t apply. Fashion proves inherent in the glamor-ous culture of the Big Apple, and luckily September not only introduced a new season, but held a spontaneous trip to the star-studded city in store for me. A fewfriendsandIvisitedNewYorkinthemidst of its prime, theweekendofNYCCoutureFashionWeekdirectly following Mercedez-Benz fash-ion week, so needless to say the street fashionswereattheirfinest.AndwhenI wasn’t catching cabs, roaming the streets, and visiting friends I was studi-ously taking notes on the items of cloth-ing that could prove essential to my personal style. The fashions there seem so radically different than those of Rich-mond, it was overwhelmingly inspira-tional. Most of the trends that I noted emulated the femininity of the ‘40s and all things ladylike. We’re talking big, statementfloralandprints,heritagecashmere knits, long duster coats, and refinedfurs-piecesforeigntoRichmond’srugged tomgirl fashion. Thanks to New

Author Jenn Mawyer on the left with friends in New York City.

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Runway- Carolina HerreraSpring 2012 While this past Spring 2012 season presented us with funky prints by Alexander Wang, eternally fresh silhouettes by Marc Jacobs, and always puttogether piecesbyZacPosen,thereneverseemstobeanythingas fetching as watching the always groundbreaking pieces by Carolina Herrera glide up and down the runway. With a keen talent for drawing an audi-encebetweentheagesof17and95(andNickiMinaj,whoseoutfit,Iwouldliketopointout,wasnotde-signed by Ms.Herrera) Herrera managed to maintain the look of Upper East Side chic, while still having a dalliance with the younger set. Nevertheless, this spring collection was unique this season in that it featured a mix of patterns, sol-ids, and prints in a myriad of colors. Beginning with springyflorals,themodelswalkeddowntherunway–one trailing in a long, cap-sleeved gown glittered with greenbirds–tovariationsof“PagniniRocks”byTomHodge and Robortom – while another strolled down the runway in a youthful yellow dress accessorized with sunglasses and a matchingyellow tote. Also featured was a white no-sleeved cocktail dress with black color-blocking held together with a geometric red belt. The collection was indeed mul-tifarious, perhaps to a fault according to style.com, however the collection itself maintained a sense of fluiditysimplybecauseitwaspresentedbyCarolinaHerrera. Had it been by any other designer, the col-lection would likely not have worked.

different shapes, sizes, and colors-yet equally as trendy. We must never forget that fash-ionisfirstaformofself-expression,soevaluate yourself and your background as you step into the new season with a whole new look. Rock your roots. Be

original. Take risks with your wardrobe while always representing who you are and where you’ve come from. After all, no matter where life takes me or what in direction the fashion industry veers next, I know that I’m still, and always will be, Jenny from the RVA block. Represent.

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Tragedies are not uncommon in humanlife.Injuriesareadailyoccur-rence, accidents are commonplace, and death occurs around the world, almost every minute. However, with all of these tragedies simultaneously coexisting as they have for centuries, why is it that the world is suddenly more aware of these tragedies? Everyone knows where I’m going with this- as this is not an original question or idea. The media has over-taken our world by shovelling images of horror and death into our minds and living rooms, with the types of stories we may only personally witness few times in our lives. The news is dominated by sto-ries of murder, deceit, psychos and real-ly, a lot of things that would make a sane individual want to stay inside (yet, it still seems to be the insane ones who actually do). The media has been known to have a tendency to blow things out of propor-tion; attempting to delve deeper in to a shallow story, or even inventing ‘facts’ to stir the imaginations of viewers. It is nowonderthen,thatonJuly23,2011,that the appalling outbreak of terror un-leashed upon Norway was so incredibly fabricatedbythemediaandjournalistsaround the globe. It seems that in search of an answer, they unwittingly (or, quite knowingly) laid immediate blame on uninvolved parties, and scared the world into believing this attack had been more successful than it really had been- which was exactly what the terrorist in question had hoped for.

OnJuly23rd,2011,aNorwegianmandressedasapoliceofficerkilledanastonishing amount of youth at a Labour PartyyouthcamponUtoyaIsland,aswell as many more in a bomb blast in central Oslo, Norway. These attacks lead to 76 deaths as well as a great amount of damage, and stirred fear into the na-tion. I will not divulge the name of the terrorist in this article, as I feel that by spreading his name by any means brings more attention to the terrorist in ques-tion, than the event itself. The event was highlycoveredbyallthemajornewscorporations. I myself watched from the comfort of my sofa, netbook in lap, as the BBC built upon the story from every angle through almost every avenue pos-sible. It was a bit like an action/detective filmthatIcouldn’ttearmyeyesawayfrom. However, I noted throughout the program that there were a lot of conclu-sions being made very early on during the coverage. Some of these deductions were not necessarily those of the BBC, but they were being treated as almost factual information for the time being. And, since these assumptions were being broadcast by the BBC- many people be-lieved them to be true. But this was not the case. The fact is that there were no facts. Yes,itwasaterroristattack;thereforepeople (including the media) were pretty terrifiedandlookingforsomeanswersto help soothe their frightened minds. However, ‘guessing’ is not ‘speculating.’ Onecansimplyguesstheamountofjel-lybeansinajar,butonecanspeculatebasedonthesizeofthejellybeanandtheamountthejarcanhold,andreal-

Guessing Gamesby Danean Neill

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guessing gamesistically estimate how many beans are inthejar.Sowhenitcametothedeathtoll numbers, the amount of guessing far outweighed the amount of speculating- leaving some internet trails misleading researchers to believing the death toll was far above what it truly was. By the end of the whole ordeal, the death toll had skyrocketed and fallen until some-onefinallycountedthedeadtoconfirmhow many had actually died. This left the world believing that this Norwegian ter-rorist had over-reached his goal- which inevitably, he did. He scared the world into believing that more damage had been done (although, the damage that had been done was pretty severe), and sent a mess of panic through the air-waves. One guess lead to another guess, and far too soon after the initial attack, this Norwegian terrorist was almost off the hook. Instead of looking for a real answer, one news corporation assumed it must have been Al-Qaeda that was be-hind these attacks. From my close watch over the coverage of this attack on many different news channels and websites, it seems that the blame that was laid upon Al-Qaedawassimplyaknee-jerkreac-tion. It seemed like the conversation in thenewsroomswassimply:“Oh,terror-istattack?Norway?GottabeAl-Qaeda…Who else could it be?” The immediate ‘speculation’ of Al-Qaeda left me feeling very insecure about the entire situation. Mostly because, one: if this ‘assump-tion’ was true, where did this leave the situation in the Middle East? Did it fore-shadow a future attack on my nation? And two: had they given up searching for the true culprit, and were now searching

thirty-ninefor a supposed one who may or may not have anything to do with the attacks? Nevertheless, when the attacks werefinallypinnedtothetrueattacker,who ended up being an Aryan Norwe-gianwithNazi-influencedintentionsand outlooks, the world was outwardly shocked. Some may say that this sudden turning of the tables made for excellent television, and probably a large spike in ratings for the news networks that initially broke the story. However, the journalismatworkonthisvastandeverexpanding story should have involved muchlessblame,andalotmorefirst-hand claim. Whendidjournalismbecomea guessing game? It seems like now instead of facts, the media is more fo-cussed on getting a story before actu-ally telling the truth. But as the terrorist attack on Norway has demonstrated, jumpingtoconclusionscanmakeforaneven greater story- a story for triumph on the part of the terrorist. It’s simple really; the more attention a terrorist receives, the more success they gain in their attack. This guessing game needs toend.Yes,thenewsmustbefedtotheworld, and everyone has a right to know what is happening as it happens. How-ever,duringamaddashtofindastory,journalistsneedtofindthefacts-thereal ones- and only then should they spread the word. There is no sense is spreading more terror into the lives of those affected by an attack when such atrocities of false knowledge could so easily be avoided.

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Sweet Jane Photographed byJackson Krule

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it should be done, people would come from every-where just to have it, andthey wouldn’t care about anything else. Anything you do, as long as you do it right, you’ll be famous. My restaurant wouldn’t justbeseasonal-I’dtrytodo themes for seasons, like every chef does. Every-body wants to say ‘Ok its winter time, lets break out the butternut squash soup with honey and ginger, lets break out the chili for lunch’ just good, healthy, whole

what style food would you serve?”

SA: “I would do the sim-plest food in the world done perfectly. I would do seasonal food, local, farm fresh, because, you know that’s me supporting the farmers, and seasonal is cheap, that’s cutting the food costs tremendously. It could be something like fish and chips but insteadof using some cheap fish-I’d use rockfish. If I didthefishandchipstheway

JH: “What is your favor-ite thing about working in a kitchen?”

SA: “The intensity. Thestress and adrenaline. It’s what’s carved my face [laughs] its what’s carved me into the person that I am, all the years of stress and cigarettes. Hey- I’m not old yet but in five orsix years I’ll probably look a lot worse than this.”

JH: “If youwere toopenyour own restaurant

Chef Scott Alderman has worked in some of America’s hardest-to-reserve restaurants and has a thing or two to say about celebrity chefs. I sat down with him in July to discuss his food philosophy, Marco Pierre White and what you

can find in his fridge.

By Joanna Harkins

simple.fifty-two

ington DC] and now I’m at the Intercontinental.”

JH: “Of all of the restau-rants you’ve worked at, what is your favorite meal that you’ve prepared?”

SA: “Oysters.WehaveanOysterdishatPrime44(Arestaurant located within The Greenbrier Hotel), they’re kumamoto oysters. The first thing we’d do istake that fresh cute little oyster, very sexy looking, very pretty, put a little pink champagne gel right on top of the oyster, then dot some caviar on and shave some frozen wasabi root right on top. If you have real was-abi root, it’shot just for asecond and then smooth and sweet. We had little paper-thin croutons that we would slide the oyster ontopof.Itwouldaddjusta little texture. We served them on salt tablets- justiodized salt mixed with egg whites placed on top of the oven to harden in molds.”

JH: “Do you follow anyof the restaurant politics or big celebrity chefs of DC? Like José Andrés?”

SA:“Idon’tcareaboutthefame of cooking. I’ll quote Marco Pierre White “re-

side of going to the Cordon Bleu. I think you get more out of it at the Greenbrier because you have more seasoned chefs, and you’re getting paid to work there.

Once my apprentice-ship was over I took off and went to Citronelle in Washington DC. I worked pastry first then Iwent togarbagier I spent about 6 months there. Then I went

to this place [Motioning to his chef’s jacket], the Willard Intercontinental whereIworkedattheCaféduParc.AfterthatItookalittle time off cause I need-ed it, I went back home and I went back to work at the Greenbrier again. And then Ifinallywent toNew York City, and that’swhere I worked at Per Seand Le Bernadain and then I came back here [Wash-

food- you know, soul food.”

JH: “Howdidyouget in-volved in the restaurant business? Did you go to cu-linary school?”

SA:“Istartedattheyoungage of 16 washing dishes, and then essentially I justgot really involved with that that kind of very in-tense, fast paced environ-ment, I was very prone to it, being a very hyper indi-vidual. So I found my love for it pretty early on. By the time I was 19 I started myfirstcookingjobattheGreenbrier as a garbagier. I sat down with the execu-tive chef and said ‘I’m gon-na go from here to here in X amount of months’…atthe end of those months he broughtmeintohisofficeand said ‘you weren’t bull-shitting me man.’ Of course after that everyone looked at me as his pet…. Afterworking there for about twoyears, Ifinallygotmyshot to work at the Green-brier Hotel where I started my apprenticeship. There we learned everything, you know, old-style French cooking, classic cuisine- it’s a there year program, very hardcore. I wanna say it’s the best apprenticeship in the world, maybe out-

“I don’t believe in that celebrity

chef bullshit. We’re not in

the kitchen for that...you either

love it or you don’t.”

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ents- some over-easy eggs with bacon, bacon justmakes everything better, so does butter, omlettes-again, simple but good.”

JH: “Simple but goodseems to be your food philosophy...”

SA: “I’ll quote Mar-co one more time “Mother nature is thetrue artist” she re-ally shines through for everything. Sim-ple food is just goodand clean, it doesn’t need to be messed withmuch.People tryto do too much with food. Simple, sim-ple, simple… I can’tpreach that enough.”

JH:“Ifyoucouldhaveany six people dead or alive, over for din-ner, who would you choose?”

SA: “My brother andgrandmother, Monica Belluci... she’s beautiful, Andrew Jackson- ‘cause he was such a bad-ass, Sylvester Stallone and Marco Pierre White.”

(Drawing by Asako Mikumo)

some beer if we were in the mood or if it was the right season. My favorite desert from back home would be grandma’s German choc-olate cake. Three layers. She had a way of making that chocolate cake that was just outta this world.Very simple, but good.”

JH: “What basic ingredi-ents do you always have in your fridge?”

SA: “Butter, whole milk,bacon, some kind of fruit, sometypeofmeatorfish,eggs. The opportunities are endless with those ingredi-

member what made you great” so if you came from behind the stove you speak from behind the stove. I don’t believe in that ce-lebrity chef bullshit. We’re not in the kitchen for that. I can see if you’re trying to educate- fair enough, ok then there should be a little celebrity involved. But I’d rather have some-one shake my hand and say ‘Thank you, that was a great meal, I’ll come back again’ instead of ‘Scott you’re goingontheairinfiveminutes’. This life is just waking up in themorning, staying in the kitchen all day, sleep-ing a couple hours and going right back to work. Doing that ev-eryday, a couple days offamonth.Youeitherlove it or you don’t.”

JH: “Favorite child-hood meals?”

SA: “Grandma’s porkchops. She’d fry some pota-toes and onions in the skil-let, caramelize the onions. Itwasjustsimple.Theporkchops would be seared in thepanandfinishedintheoven, some home made applesauce on the side. Maybe a glass of wine or

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July: Lawn Chair Ice-Cream August: Macaulay Culkin’s Face

September: Mariachi Band October: Gemini

November: Uncle Buckle December: Breed Confused Toy Poodle

You will walk in on your father singing fergie’s, ‘big girls don’t cry’. You will re-evaluate your life.

You will prove some bitch wrong today.

When this month ends, you will experience an awakening. Your dog’s tracksuit is inappropriately tight.

The only life skill you’ve acquired is lighting all the candles on a birthday cake with a single match. Your real father is Bjork.

it is SO hard to �nd chanel that �ts

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Josephine Raccuia, Laurence Lau, Tracie Hogan, Kev-in & Anna Harkins, K.K. Moore, Fulcher, Ellis Glover, Eleanor Movold, Michael Brogan, Esq. Jackson Mon-tana Krule, Ana Tomita, “Tweety” Thuy Dong, A. Gre-nade, Wade & Karen Movold, Jacquie Smalls, Keith Donoghue, Daniel, Cody Delistraty, Mike, Rachel Rus-sell, Taylor’s Mom, Gypsé Eyes Magazine, Robert & Su-san Harrison, Thelma Hogan, Gabrielle Costa, Claudia Chmarzewski, Cynthia Elmore, Dave Sullivan, Veeee, Mr. Michael Barnett, Justine Poustchi, ABK, Will Sherman, Barbie, Mary Catherine Bellamy Williams, Zoe Johnson, W. Smith, Riley Vainionpaa, Gregory Donnelly, Annie Mabus, Mary McAlevy, Melinda Hutson, Dawn Mitch-ell, Ryan Cook, Julien W. Ricard, Natalie Hawley, Mo Olivas, Jamie Maldonado, Catherine C. Duke, Reuven

thank you...to everyone who donated to our Kickstarter campaign. Your

support has proved that if you have passion for an idea, people will pay attention- no matter what your budget.