92
1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:05,000 <font color="#00FF00">The Simpsons 27x04 </font> <font color="#00FFFF">Halloween of Horror</font> Original Air Date on October 18 201 2 00:00:05,001 --> 00:00:08,501 == sync, corrected by <font color=#00FF00>elderman</font> == <font color=#00FFFF>@elder_man</font> 3 00:00:08,544 --> 00:00:10,210 Okay, Homie, 4 00:00:10,245 --> 00:00:11,545 I'm plugging it in. 5 00:00:11,580 --> 00:00:12,979 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

The Simpsons 27x04 English Subtitles

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1

00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:05,000

<font color="#00FF00">♪ The Simpsons 27x04 ♪</font>

<font color="#00FFFF">Halloween of Horror</font>

Original Air Date on October 18 201

2

00:00:05,001 --> 00:00:08,501

== sync, corrected by <font color=#00FF00>elderman</font> ==

<font color=#00FFFF>@elder_man</font>

3

00:00:08,544 --> 00:00:10,210

Okay, Homie,

4

00:00:10,245 --> 00:00:11,545

I'm plugging it in.

5

00:00:11,580 --> 00:00:12,979

Wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait!

6

00:00:13,015 --> 00:00:15,382

The gravestones could be

a little more crooked.

7

00:00:15,417 --> 00:00:16,616

Oh!

8

00:00:16,652 --> 00:00:19,086

Let me just fluff up

these entrails.

9

00:00:19,121 --> 00:00:20,587

And...

10

00:00:20,622 --> 00:00:21,822

light it up.

11

00:00:22,891 --> 00:00:25,926

(wolf howls)

Bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh.

12

00:00:25,961 --> 00:00:27,661

Halloween at

the Simpsons'.

13

00:00:27,696 --> 00:00:29,096

What a classic

tradition!

14

00:00:29,131 --> 00:00:30,597

Are you heading up

to the tree house

15

00:00:30,632 --> 00:00:32,632

to tell three

horrifying tales?

16

00:00:32,668 --> 00:00:34,267

Ah, we're doing

it next week.

17

00:00:34,303 --> 00:00:36,837

It's gonna be<i> Psycho</i>

with Skinner and his mom,

18

00:00:36,872 --> 00:00:39,339

Muppet<i> Wizard of Oz--</i>

I'm Scarecrow-Fozzie--

19

00:00:39,374 --> 00:00:42,509

and then, uh,

one where furniture gets smart

20

00:00:42,544 --> 00:00:44,277

and takes over the world

or something.

21

00:00:44,313 --> 00:00:46,012

Mmm!

Sounds chilling!

22

00:00:46,048 --> 00:00:47,414

Eh. People love it.

23

00:00:47,449 --> 00:00:50,083

Everscream Terrors

looks amazing this year.

24

00:00:50,119 --> 00:00:53,286

I've never seen black cats

with such arched backs.

25

00:00:53,322 --> 00:00:54,688

Well, you gotta bring it.

26

00:00:54,723 --> 00:00:57,157

Halloweening your house

is a dying art.

27

00:00:57,192 --> 00:00:59,793

More and more people are turning

off their porch lights

28

00:00:59,828 --> 00:01:02,696

and pretending they're not home.

29

00:01:02,731 --> 00:01:04,798

Halloween skippers.

30

00:01:04,833 --> 00:01:06,032

Skippers!

31

00:01:06,068 --> 00:01:07,601

How can you reject a holiday

32

00:01:07,636 --> 00:01:10,670

where you can serve candy

from a salad bowl?

33

00:01:10,706 --> 00:01:11,972

Bad news, Dad.

34

00:01:12,007 --> 00:01:13,373

You stored the plastic skeletons

35

00:01:13,408 --> 00:01:14,875

too close to the furnace.

36

00:01:14,910 --> 00:01:16,977

Eh, I'll take it

to the old folks' home

37

00:01:17,012 --> 00:01:18,812

and tell Grampa

it's his new roommate.

38

00:01:18,847 --> 00:01:20,046

Everyone in the car!

39

00:01:20,082 --> 00:01:21,515

We're making a skeleton run

40

00:01:21,550 --> 00:01:23,016

to the Halloween pop-up store.

41

00:01:23,051 --> 00:01:24,684

Ooh, while we're there

42

00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:26,486

we can get a costume

for the dog.

43

00:01:26,522 --> 00:01:28,054

Nothing says you love a pet

44

00:01:28,090 --> 00:01:30,490

like letting him be part

of the human fun.

45

00:01:30,526 --> 00:01:32,559

Who wants to be a Yoda?

46

00:01:32,594 --> 00:01:35,028

You want

to be a Yoda!

47

00:01:36,265 --> 00:01:38,131

Ooh.

48

00:01:38,167 --> 00:01:39,399

Ooh!

49

00:01:40,702 --> 00:01:42,869

Oh, man, I can't

wait for tonight!

50

00:01:42,905 --> 00:01:44,304

I'm finally

old enough

51

00:01:44,339 --> 00:01:46,306

for Krustyland

Halloween Horror Night.

52

00:01:46,341 --> 00:01:47,808

Oh, yeah, they do it up right.

53

00:01:47,843 --> 00:01:49,476

Wait till you try

the black cotton candy.

54

00:01:49,511 --> 00:01:51,812

It tastes

just like cotton candy.

55

00:01:51,847 --> 00:01:54,080

Tomorrow, when my friends

ask me about it,

56

00:01:54,116 --> 00:01:57,017

I'm going to say, "Eh,

it wasn't that big a deal."

57

00:01:57,052 --> 00:01:59,986

But it's gonna be a really,

really big deal!

58

00:02:00,022 --> 00:02:01,822

Welcome, seasonal customer,

59

00:02:01,857 --> 00:02:03,423

to my pop-up emporium.

60

00:02:03,458 --> 00:02:05,892

Behold my terrifying

joke name.

61

00:02:05,928 --> 00:02:07,227

A-boo!

62

00:02:07,262 --> 00:02:10,664

Hmm, you know, I actually

like that better.

63

00:02:10,699 --> 00:02:12,199

Hey, hey!

64

00:02:12,234 --> 00:02:13,433

Why are you

not working?

65

00:02:13,468 --> 00:02:15,268

'Cause I'm still coming down

66

00:02:15,304 --> 00:02:19,606

from huffing

all that glow stick juice, man.

67

00:02:19,641 --> 00:02:22,876

Oh, I'm strung out

on silly string.

68

00:02:22,911 --> 00:02:25,212

(sneezes)

69

00:02:25,247 --> 00:02:26,446

(groans)

70

00:02:26,481 --> 00:02:27,914

Go, go! Back to work!

71

00:02:27,950 --> 00:02:30,250

Go de-tangle

the novelty cobwebs,

72

00:02:30,285 --> 00:02:32,619

you lazy trick-or-treat trash.

73

00:02:32,654 --> 00:02:35,522

(muttering indistinctly)

74

00:02:35,557 --> 00:02:37,624

Aren't you being

a little hard on them?

75

00:02:37,659 --> 00:02:38,892

Mrs. Simpson,

76

00:02:38,927 --> 00:02:40,527

these are pop-up people.

77

00:02:40,562 --> 00:02:43,463

Temporary workers

who drift from town to town,

78

00:02:43,498 --> 00:02:45,198

holiday to holiday,

79

00:02:45,234 --> 00:02:48,301

living off candy hearts

and sleeping on Easter grass.

80

00:02:48,337 --> 00:02:50,604

If I do not show them

a firm hand,

81

00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:53,273

they would rob me like

Striped Hamburger Thief

82

00:02:53,308 --> 00:02:55,308

robs Restaurant Meat Clown.

83

00:02:57,179 --> 00:02:59,212

Ooh! Mariachi skeletons.

84

00:02:59,248 --> 00:03:02,649

They're spooky, but they also

teach you about Mexico.

85

00:03:02,684 --> 00:03:05,752

Psst! Hey, big man,

how about this deal:

86

00:03:05,787 --> 00:03:08,788

you buy one from me--

in cash--

87

00:03:08,824 --> 00:03:12,726

and I'll load three more

into your car for free.

88

00:03:12,761 --> 00:03:14,261

That is a great deal.

89

00:03:14,296 --> 00:03:16,696

Just don't tell Old

Man Squishee about it.

90

00:03:16,732 --> 00:03:18,164

Hmm.

91

00:03:19,201 --> 00:03:21,801

(grunting and chuckling)

92

00:03:21,837 --> 00:03:24,337

You got some great

guys working here.

93

00:03:24,373 --> 00:03:26,506

They just gave me

a really good deal.

94

00:03:26,541 --> 00:03:27,807

Really?

95

00:03:27,843 --> 00:03:29,442

Tell me of this deal.

96

00:03:29,478 --> 00:03:32,078

Okay, but don't tell

Old Man Squishee about it.

97

00:03:32,114 --> 00:03:34,281

We hate him.

98

00:03:34,316 --> 00:03:36,249

Get out.

Out, all of you!

99

00:03:36,285 --> 00:03:37,851

Pop-up scum! Out!

100

00:03:37,886 --> 00:03:41,288

No one rips off

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon!

101

00:03:41,323 --> 00:03:44,624

Now take your suspiciously full

duffle bags and go!

102

00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:49,629

You're gonna be real sorry

for getting us fired.

103

00:03:49,665 --> 00:03:51,364

Well, I'm sorry now.

104

00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,633

Yeah, you're gonna be.

105

00:03:53,669 --> 00:03:55,769

I said, I'm sorry now.

106

00:03:55,804 --> 00:03:58,872

We said

you're gonna be!

107

00:03:58,907 --> 00:04:01,608

I know when I'm sorry,

and I'm sorry now!

108

00:04:01,643 --> 00:04:03,643

You guys don't know me at all.

109

00:04:06,682 --> 00:04:09,049

(Krusty laughing spookily)

110

00:04:09,084 --> 00:04:11,818

KRUSTY: Hand stamp required

for re-entry!

111

00:04:14,423 --> 00:04:15,989

That's not scary.

112

00:04:16,024 --> 00:04:17,691

I thought this was

going to be scary.

113

00:04:17,726 --> 00:04:19,459

(giggles)

114

00:04:19,494 --> 00:04:21,027

(grunts)

115

00:04:21,063 --> 00:04:23,029

(growls)

116

00:04:23,065 --> 00:04:25,332

Scary!

117

00:04:25,367 --> 00:04:27,701

That's really,

uh, anatomical.

118

00:04:27,736 --> 00:04:29,502

Lot of anatomy there.

119

00:04:29,538 --> 00:04:31,571

Oh, yeah,

the gore is super realistic.

120

00:04:31,606 --> 00:04:32,739

It's gotta be--

121

00:04:32,774 --> 00:04:36,643

today's consumer

is just too sophisticated.

122

00:04:36,678 --> 00:04:38,411

Ah!

123

00:04:38,447 --> 00:04:40,680

(screams)

124

00:04:40,716 --> 00:04:42,682

(screams loudly)

125

00:04:42,718 --> 00:04:45,719

I want to go home!

I want to go home!

126

00:04:45,754 --> 00:04:47,087

What? No!

127

00:04:47,122 --> 00:04:48,388

We just got here!

128

00:04:48,423 --> 00:04:51,491

Lisa, honey,

I think you should stay.

129

00:04:51,526 --> 00:04:54,060

And not because the tickets

were super expensive,

130

00:04:54,096 --> 00:04:58,264

even though they were

<i>super</i> expensive.

131

00:04:58,300 --> 00:05:00,867

But remember, you were really

looking forward

132

00:05:00,902 --> 00:05:02,736

to the fun of being scared

133

00:05:02,771 --> 00:05:05,505

by stuff you know isn't real.

134

00:05:05,540 --> 00:05:09,075

Unlike the money I spent

on this, which is very real.

135

00:05:09,111 --> 00:05:10,877

Okay.

136

00:05:10,912 --> 00:05:13,346

Okay, I'll give it another try.

137

00:05:13,382 --> 00:05:15,081

Good, now take my hand

138

00:05:15,117 --> 00:05:17,584

and I'll walk you through

this roiling zombie horde.

139

00:05:17,619 --> 00:05:19,052

(zombies moaning)

140

00:05:19,087 --> 00:05:20,887

This isn't real.

141

00:05:20,922 --> 00:05:23,056

This isn't real.

This isn't real.

142

00:05:23,091 --> 00:05:24,524

This isn't real.

143

00:05:24,559 --> 00:05:26,226

(gasps)

144

00:05:26,261 --> 00:05:28,795

(Lisa screams in distance)

145

00:05:28,830 --> 00:05:31,564

Sir? Sir?

146

00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:33,767

I-I'm not...

Hold on, Lisa,

147

00:05:33,802 --> 00:05:35,602

Daddy's picking out

a pretzel topping.

148

00:05:35,637 --> 00:05:36,970

Sir?

149

00:05:37,005 --> 00:05:38,238

Oh...

150

00:05:38,273 --> 00:05:39,639

Oh, no, I'm lost!

151

00:05:39,674 --> 00:05:41,207

Okay, find a grown-up.

152

00:05:41,243 --> 00:05:42,809

Find a grown-up.

153

00:05:42,844 --> 00:05:45,145

Excuse me,

I'm lost.

154

00:05:45,180 --> 00:05:46,546

Could you please

help me...

155

00:05:46,581 --> 00:05:48,515

(screams)

156

00:05:49,818 --> 00:05:51,084

I can't find

my family

157

00:05:51,119 --> 00:05:52,552

and I'm really

scared and I...

158

00:05:52,587 --> 00:05:54,087

(screams)

159

00:05:55,657 --> 00:05:58,491

(zombies moaning)

160

00:06:07,469 --> 00:06:09,469

(mumbling deliriously)

161

00:06:10,839 --> 00:06:12,305

Sir, looks like we've got

162

00:06:12,340 --> 00:06:13,840

a scaredy-pants

situation here.

163

00:06:13,875 --> 00:06:15,608

Zoom in and scan for fear.

164

00:06:16,645 --> 00:06:19,012

Terror level seven

and rising.

165

00:06:19,047 --> 00:06:20,747

Shut it down.

Shut it all down.

166

00:06:20,782 --> 00:06:23,516

Shut the whole damn thing down.

167

00:06:27,622 --> 00:06:28,922

SUPERVISOR:

Attention!

168

00:06:28,957 --> 00:06:31,091

Bring all laughter

and exhilaration

169

00:06:31,126 --> 00:06:32,959

to a complete stop.

170

00:06:32,994 --> 00:06:37,130

The terrifying good time

is on hold.

171

00:06:37,165 --> 00:06:38,998

We have located and are removing

172

00:06:39,034 --> 00:06:40,934

the baby that thinks

this is real.

173

00:06:40,969 --> 00:06:43,136

Reset time is 65 minutes.

174

00:06:43,171 --> 00:06:44,671

(groaning, grumbling)

175

00:06:44,706 --> 00:06:46,439

All parking validations

are now void.

176

00:06:46,475 --> 00:06:48,174

(grumbling)

177

00:06:48,210 --> 00:06:50,977

Sir...

178

00:06:51,012 --> 00:06:52,812

(whimpering)

179

00:06:52,848 --> 00:06:54,180

(crying)

180

00:06:57,082 --> 00:06:59,249

Mm-hmm.

181

00:06:59,284 --> 00:07:01,011

Lisa, aren't you

going to wear

182

00:07:01,111 --> 00:07:02,511

your costume

to school?

183

00:07:02,546 --> 00:07:05,781

No, I'm not doing

Halloween this year.

184

00:07:05,816 --> 00:07:08,650

Oh, sweetie, I know you

had a scare last night.

185

00:07:08,685 --> 00:07:12,087

But you worked so hard on

your Frida Kahlo outfit.

186

00:07:12,122 --> 00:07:14,122

Maybe just wear the

eyebrow and mustache?

187

00:07:14,158 --> 00:07:15,357

No!

188

00:07:15,392 --> 00:07:17,359

No!

189

00:07:17,394 --> 00:07:19,027

You kids look great.

190

00:07:19,062 --> 00:07:21,263

Delightful.

191

00:07:21,298 --> 00:07:22,831

No place like home.

(chuckles)

192

00:07:22,866 --> 00:07:24,433

Hold on, Simpson.

193

00:07:24,468 --> 00:07:27,002

Let's take a look

at that buccaneer costume.

194

00:07:27,037 --> 00:07:28,603

No weapons, of course.

195

00:07:28,639 --> 00:07:31,039

Bandana, possible gang wear.

196

00:07:31,074 --> 00:07:33,175

Eye patch, offensive

to the half-blind.

197

00:07:33,210 --> 00:07:34,676

Oh, and just to reassure

198

00:07:34,711 --> 00:07:36,031

those who are

afraid of pirates...

199

00:07:37,247 --> 00:07:38,547

(sighs)

200

00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:56,064

(screams)

201

00:07:56,099 --> 00:07:57,332

No! Leave me alone!

202

00:07:57,367 --> 00:07:59,401

Leave me alone!

203

00:07:59,436 --> 00:08:01,436

(panting)

204

00:08:06,210 --> 00:08:07,442

Lisa...

205

00:08:10,347 --> 00:08:14,015

(gasping)

206

00:08:14,051 --> 00:08:16,551

(shuddering)

207

00:08:16,587 --> 00:08:17,986

Homer...

208

00:08:18,021 --> 00:08:20,655

I think we should take down

Everscream Terrors.

209

00:08:20,691 --> 00:08:23,225

Wha-- W-We... we can't!

210

00:08:23,260 --> 00:08:25,694

I'm the Mozart

of Halloween decorations,

211

00:08:25,729 --> 00:08:27,229

and tonight is the Super Bowl.

212

00:08:27,264 --> 00:08:29,097

Lisa's in a bad place.

213

00:08:29,132 --> 00:08:31,233

You know how sensitive she is.

214

00:08:31,268 --> 00:08:33,235

We don't want her

to go back to...

215

00:08:33,270 --> 00:08:34,870

Tailee.

216

00:08:34,905 --> 00:08:36,271

No, she wouldn't.

217

00:08:36,306 --> 00:08:37,272

She couldn't.

218

00:08:37,307 --> 00:08:38,540

Not Tailee.

219

00:08:38,575 --> 00:08:40,642

Where is she?

220

00:08:41,678 --> 00:08:43,345

(both gasp)

221

00:08:44,381 --> 00:08:46,548

HOMER:

Oh. Oh.

222

00:08:46,583 --> 00:08:47,549

Ah, let's see.

223

00:08:47,584 --> 00:08:48,917

(gasps)

224

00:08:48,952 --> 00:08:50,285

Oh, God.

225

00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:51,753

We're too late.

226

00:08:51,788 --> 00:08:54,422

The glue stick didn't hold.

227

00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:58,560

So, Tailee's back.

228

00:08:58,595 --> 00:09:00,095

Hmm.

229

00:09:00,130 --> 00:09:02,597

Tailee just makes me

feel so safe.

230

00:09:02,633 --> 00:09:04,432

I don't know why

I ever gave it up.

231

00:09:04,468 --> 00:09:06,234

It breaks my heart

232

00:09:06,270 --> 00:09:08,703

that Lisa can't deal with her

emotions without a crutch.

233

00:09:08,739 --> 00:09:10,805

Well, kids are

weak, Marge.

234

00:09:12,276 --> 00:09:13,508

Oh, yeah.

235

00:09:14,778 --> 00:09:16,077

No. No!

236

00:09:16,113 --> 00:09:17,412

Stop it!

237

00:09:17,447 --> 00:09:19,781

Why are you taking down

Everscream Terrors?

238

00:09:19,816 --> 00:09:23,118

Our house has to be

a Halloween-free zone.

239

00:09:23,153 --> 00:09:26,321

Your sister has a tummy ache

in her courage.

240

00:09:26,356 --> 00:09:27,622

What?

241

00:09:27,658 --> 00:09:29,824

Lisa goes nuts

and you turn us into...

242

00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,560

into skippers?!

243

00:09:31,595 --> 00:09:33,495

I know what this makes us.

244

00:09:33,530 --> 00:09:35,263

I know!

245

00:09:35,299 --> 00:09:36,898

Honey, I knew

you'd be upset,

246

00:09:36,934 --> 00:09:39,301

and that you'd think

only of yourself.

247

00:09:39,336 --> 00:09:41,603

So I'm taking you

to the best

248

00:09:41,638 --> 00:09:43,071

trick-or-treating

block party

249

00:09:43,106 --> 00:09:45,307

in the tri-Springfield area.

250

00:09:45,342 --> 00:09:48,009

There's a dad

who's a deejay.

251

00:09:48,045 --> 00:09:50,278

Even an E.T. who

says your name.

252

00:09:50,314 --> 00:09:53,315

What if I tell the E.T.

my name is a swear?

253

00:09:53,350 --> 00:09:54,749

He'll have to say it.

254

00:09:54,785 --> 00:09:56,117

Then I'm in.

255

00:09:58,255 --> 00:10:00,455

(sighs)

256

00:10:03,994 --> 00:10:05,760

(bowl rattles)

257

00:10:05,796 --> 00:10:06,995

NELSON:

Haw haw!

258

00:10:07,030 --> 00:10:09,130

(sighs)

259

00:10:11,068 --> 00:10:13,335

Okay, sweetie,

260

00:10:13,370 --> 00:10:16,838

just you and me spending

a regular eve together.

261

00:10:16,873 --> 00:10:18,473

Nothing hallows

about it.

262

00:10:18,508 --> 00:10:20,976

I'm sorry

I ruined Halloween, Dad.

263

00:10:21,011 --> 00:10:22,544

(scoffs)

Ruined?

264

00:10:22,579 --> 00:10:25,714

Why, you just created

a new holiday...

265

00:10:25,749 --> 00:10:27,816

Puzzle Wednesday.

266

00:10:27,851 --> 00:10:30,652

A tabby and a calico.

267

00:10:30,687 --> 00:10:33,655

(chuckles) I wouldn't want

to be that ribbon.

268

00:10:33,690 --> 00:10:35,290

(doorbell rings)

269

00:10:35,325 --> 00:10:36,791

Oh, trick-or-treaters.

270

00:10:36,827 --> 00:10:38,693

Don't worry, I'll

get rid of them.

271

00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:41,329

Trick or treat.

272

00:10:41,365 --> 00:10:42,464

Porch light's off, kids.

273

00:10:42,499 --> 00:10:43,739

Don't you know what that means?

274

00:10:43,767 --> 00:10:46,668

We're not here

for candy, big man.

275

00:10:46,703 --> 00:10:49,070

Hey, you're

those pop-up scuzzos.

276

00:10:49,106 --> 00:10:50,672

What do you scuzzos want?

277

00:10:50,707 --> 00:10:52,674

We want our jobs back.

278

00:10:52,709 --> 00:10:54,509

Look, I don't want to be rude,

279

00:10:54,544 --> 00:10:58,146

but you sad losers should

go suck somewhere else.

280

00:10:58,181 --> 00:10:59,748

(panicked grunting)

281

00:10:59,783 --> 00:11:02,584

That? (chuckling):

Oh, that was just

282

00:11:02,619 --> 00:11:04,586

a kindly priest here

to bless our home.

283

00:11:04,621 --> 00:11:06,521

I told him to keep moving.

284

00:11:06,556 --> 00:11:07,689

(doorbell rings, Lisa whimpers)

285

00:11:07,724 --> 00:11:09,524

(chuckles nervously):

Hey.

286

00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:11,359

Another visitor?

287

00:11:11,395 --> 00:11:13,161

Isn't life funny and safe?

288

00:11:13,196 --> 00:11:15,497

Can't you jerks take a hint?!

289

00:11:15,532 --> 00:11:16,931

Huh?

290

00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:19,000

Hmm, hmm?

291

00:11:19,036 --> 00:11:20,402

(whimpers)

292

00:11:20,437 --> 00:11:23,038

THUGS:

♪ Creepy nursery rhyme ♪

293

00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:27,275

♪ Like in every movie. ♪

294

00:11:30,814 --> 00:11:32,380

Mind games.

295

00:11:34,651 --> 00:11:36,618

Whoa, look at this line.

296

00:11:36,653 --> 00:11:38,887

This neighborhood

has to be good.

297

00:11:40,323 --> 00:11:42,123

Sorry, ma'am,

residents only.

298

00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:45,126

Too many randos crashed

the block party last year,

299

00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:48,129

so "Spine Chills"

is Pine Hills only.

300

00:11:48,165 --> 00:11:50,865

(whining): Mom, you

said we could go here.

301

00:11:50,901 --> 00:11:52,701

We will, we will.

302

00:11:52,736 --> 00:11:57,105

Look, I've got a Groupon here

for a zip line adventure.

303

00:11:57,140 --> 00:11:59,741

Let us in, and it's yours.

304

00:11:59,776 --> 00:12:02,744

Zip-lining is everything to me,

but if I take that,

305

00:12:02,779 --> 00:12:05,146

I'm not worth the folding chair

I'm sitting on.

306

00:12:05,182 --> 00:12:07,182

Now, turn around and go.

307

00:12:12,389 --> 00:12:15,123

BART:

Aw, a bounce house.

308

00:12:17,461 --> 00:12:20,228

Aw...

309

00:12:20,263 --> 00:12:21,396

E.T.?

310

00:12:21,431 --> 00:12:23,732

E.T.:

Hello, Scrotum.

311

00:12:23,767 --> 00:12:26,334

(groaning):

Oh.

312

00:12:26,369 --> 00:12:27,402

It's over.

313

00:12:27,437 --> 00:12:29,437

I missed Halloween.

314

00:12:30,741 --> 00:12:32,073

(hums)

315

00:12:32,109 --> 00:12:34,075

I can't let Lisa know

316

00:12:34,111 --> 00:12:36,478

we're being stalked

by vengeful seasonal thugs.

317

00:12:36,513 --> 00:12:38,480

I'll just whistle a happy tune.

318

00:12:38,515 --> 00:12:41,316

(whistles theme from<i> Halloween)</i>

319

00:12:53,497 --> 00:12:56,331

(humming theme from<i> Halloween)</i>

320

00:12:58,735 --> 00:13:00,769

Why are you locking

up the house?

321

00:13:00,804 --> 00:13:02,771

Why...? You've...

322

00:13:02,806 --> 00:13:04,773

Wh-Why does anything happen?

323

00:13:04,808 --> 00:13:06,608

Why are blue jeans blue?

324

00:13:06,643 --> 00:13:08,610

Who invented haircuts?

(laughs)

325

00:13:08,645 --> 00:13:11,312

It's all just stuff

I'm saying.

326

00:13:12,349 --> 00:13:13,715

Oh.

327

00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:15,316

How did that get there?

328

00:13:15,352 --> 00:13:16,352

(muffled scream)

329

00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:20,088

Okay, okay, intruders

in the house.

330

00:13:20,188 --> 00:13:21,154

Intruders in the house.

331

00:13:21,189 --> 00:13:22,155

Got to call the cops.

332

00:13:22,190 --> 00:13:23,156

Where's my cell phone?

333

00:13:23,191 --> 00:13:25,158

They took my cell phone.

334

00:13:25,193 --> 00:13:27,260

And they forgot to pay

my phone bill.

335

00:13:27,295 --> 00:13:31,164

Wait, why are we going

to Mr. Flanders' house?

336

00:13:31,199 --> 00:13:33,166

Oh, you know,

to see his kids.

337

00:13:33,201 --> 00:13:36,603

I want to finally find out which

one is Rod and which one is Max.

338

00:13:36,638 --> 00:13:38,104

(gasps) Tailee,

I left him inside.

339

00:13:38,140 --> 00:13:39,105

Oh.

340

00:13:39,141 --> 00:13:40,674

D'oh!

341

00:13:43,478 --> 00:13:46,446

Lisa! Lisa! Lisa!

342

00:13:46,481 --> 00:13:48,114

LISA:

Dad?

343

00:13:48,150 --> 00:13:50,183

Oh. Oh, Lisa.

344

00:13:50,218 --> 00:13:52,185

You're here, we're safe.

345

00:13:52,220 --> 00:13:54,187

Everything's fine.

346

00:13:54,222 --> 00:13:57,957

Except for this

inexplicable fog.

347

00:14:00,696 --> 00:14:02,462

Boo.

348

00:14:02,497 --> 00:14:04,197

(screams) (screams)

Oh, my God!

349

00:14:04,232 --> 00:14:06,166

LISA: Oh, my God!

HOMER: (screams) No!

350

00:14:06,201 --> 00:14:07,667

(Lisa screams)

We got to get out of here!

351

00:14:07,703 --> 00:14:09,135

LISA: He smells so bad!

Come on, this way!

352

00:14:09,171 --> 00:14:10,771

Oh, my God, Dad, help!

This way! Come on!

353

00:14:12,574 --> 00:14:15,375

Give me a hit off

that fog machine.

354

00:14:15,410 --> 00:14:17,410

We got a fat

man to beat on.

355

00:14:19,848 --> 00:14:21,848

(whooping)

356

00:14:27,956 --> 00:14:29,823

MAN:

Here we come.

357

00:14:29,858 --> 00:14:32,826

MAN 2: We're coming

to get you.

358

00:14:32,861 --> 00:14:34,861

(laughter)

359

00:14:38,467 --> 00:14:42,435

Okay, okay, I don't think those

pop-up guys saw us come up here.

360

00:14:44,372 --> 00:14:47,741

This isn't real, this isn't

real, this isn't real.

361

00:14:47,776 --> 00:14:49,743

Honey, I'm your dad.

362

00:14:49,778 --> 00:14:54,180

I've lied to you more times

than there are stars in the sky.

363

00:14:54,216 --> 00:14:56,015

But I got to be straight.

364

00:14:56,051 --> 00:14:57,550

This is real.

365

00:14:57,586 --> 00:14:59,219

(whimpers)

366

00:14:59,254 --> 00:15:01,221

Okay, Halloween

isn't over yet.

367

00:15:01,256 --> 00:15:04,791

We can still squeeze in some

solid trick-or-treating.

368

00:15:04,826 --> 00:15:06,292

(tires screeching)

369

00:15:06,328 --> 00:15:08,895

Hurry, go, go, go!

370

00:15:08,930 --> 00:15:10,296

What? What's the rush?

371

00:15:10,332 --> 00:15:12,132

Go, go, have fun.

372

00:15:12,167 --> 00:15:13,600

There's still time.

373

00:15:16,905 --> 00:15:19,873

(gasps)

It's too late.

374

00:15:19,908 --> 00:15:22,308

The change is upon us.

375

00:15:23,745 --> 00:15:26,112

♪ The children are

all sleeping ♪

376

00:15:26,148 --> 00:15:28,581

♪ Not one kiddie

on the streets ♪

377

00:15:28,617 --> 00:15:31,317

♪ The fun's just starting

for Mommy and Daddy ♪

378

00:15:31,353 --> 00:15:32,418

♪ Sexy tricks ♪

379

00:15:32,454 --> 00:15:33,753

BOTH:

♪ And boozy treats ♪

380

00:15:33,789 --> 00:15:36,156

♪ Drunken hobbits ♪

381

00:15:36,191 --> 00:15:39,793

♪ Hit on slutty crayons ♪

382

00:15:39,828 --> 00:15:44,430

♪ Policeman dressed

as bondage Frankenstein ♪

383

00:15:44,466 --> 00:15:46,833

♪ Your kid's teacher ♪

384

00:15:46,868 --> 00:15:48,668

♪ In a steampunk orgy ♪

385

00:15:48,703 --> 00:15:50,336

♪ Ha ♪

386

00:15:50,372 --> 00:15:55,175

♪ Grown-ups become monsters

after 9:00 ♪

387

00:15:55,210 --> 00:15:59,345

♪ It's time

for grown-up Halloween ♪

388

00:15:59,381 --> 00:16:03,817

♪ Close your eyes

if you're under 18 ♪

389

00:16:05,020 --> 00:16:07,420

♪ It's my chance

to show boobs ♪

390

00:16:07,455 --> 00:16:10,256

♪ Live my fantasy... ♪

391

00:16:10,292 --> 00:16:12,959

♪ 'Cause tomorrow morning ♪

392

00:16:12,994 --> 00:16:15,795

♪ We won't remember a thing ♪

393

00:16:15,831 --> 00:16:18,932

♪ Our lives are awful

and dreary ♪

394

00:16:18,967 --> 00:16:21,801

♪ So tonight we're going way,

way, way, way, way too far ♪

395

00:16:21,837 --> 00:16:23,970

♪ Hide your kids ♪

396

00:16:24,005 --> 00:16:26,973

♪ This cannot be unseen ♪

397

00:16:27,008 --> 00:16:31,845

♪ It's naked, wasted,

grown-up Halloween. ♪

398

00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:32,880

(burps)

399

00:16:35,984 --> 00:16:38,785

Can't hide forever,

thumb-head.

400

00:16:38,820 --> 00:16:40,787

Sooner or later,

you're gonna have to buy

401

00:16:40,822 --> 00:16:42,789

Thanksgiving decoration,

402

00:16:42,824 --> 00:16:46,059

and we'll be waiting

by the Indian corn.

403

00:16:46,094 --> 00:16:47,894

(clattering)

404

00:16:47,929 --> 00:16:50,330

Oh, no, now they're trashing

our stuff.

405

00:16:50,365 --> 00:16:52,165

(chiming)

406

00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:54,167

Oh, they've tangled up

my wind chimes.

407

00:16:54,202 --> 00:16:56,236

How will I know

when the wind is blowing?

408

00:16:56,271 --> 00:16:59,672

(groans) I hate this,

I hate feeling afraid.

409

00:16:59,708 --> 00:17:01,674

Maybe I shouldn't admit

this to my daughter,

410

00:17:01,710 --> 00:17:04,077

but I'm scared, too,

411

00:17:04,112 --> 00:17:06,913

but you can't let fear

shut down your brain,

412

00:17:06,948 --> 00:17:10,383

because between the two of us,

we've only got one good one.

413

00:17:10,418 --> 00:17:12,418

I've got it.

414

00:17:14,422 --> 00:17:18,524

What if... we use these

decorations to signal for help?

415

00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:20,593

You're right.

416

00:17:20,629 --> 00:17:24,597

I may not be the smartest dad

or the bravest or the smartest,

417

00:17:24,633 --> 00:17:28,434

but I am great at one thing--

drawing attention to our home.

418

00:17:28,470 --> 00:17:30,270

If we're gonna

get out of this,

419

00:17:30,305 --> 00:17:32,739

we're going to need

every holiday you've got.

420

00:17:33,742 --> 00:17:36,709

♪ Ay, ay, ay, ay ♪

421

00:17:36,745 --> 00:17:39,913

♪ Halloween is so<i> bueno...</i> ♪

422

00:17:39,948 --> 00:17:43,583

Ooh, the Señor Skeletinos.

423

00:17:43,618 --> 00:17:45,585

He must have leaned

on the "try me" button.

424

00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:47,787

(laughs maniacally)

425

00:17:47,822 --> 00:17:50,223

(taunting):

We're coming to get you.

426

00:17:50,258 --> 00:17:54,761

And no fancy ceiling door

is gonna stop us.

427

00:17:55,797 --> 00:17:56,797

(gasps)

428

00:17:58,266 --> 00:18:00,233

(grunts)

MAN: Almost got it.

429

00:18:00,268 --> 00:18:01,501

(grunts)

430

00:18:01,536 --> 00:18:02,502

Stuck.

431

00:18:02,537 --> 00:18:03,903

(grunting)

432

00:18:03,939 --> 00:18:05,638

They're coming-- hurry!

433

00:18:05,674 --> 00:18:08,107

Time to wake up

the neighborhood.

434

00:18:10,345 --> 00:18:11,345

D'oh!

435

00:18:12,347 --> 00:18:13,347

D'oh!

436

00:18:13,381 --> 00:18:15,181

(thugs clamoring)

437

00:18:16,618 --> 00:18:19,052

Here we go.

438

00:18:19,087 --> 00:18:20,453

(panting):

Hurry.

439

00:18:20,488 --> 00:18:22,121

Light the fireworks.

440

00:18:22,157 --> 00:18:24,824

The match won't stay lit--

it's too windy.

441

00:18:26,761 --> 00:18:29,729

I've got something

that will burn.

442

00:18:29,764 --> 00:18:31,397

(gasps)

Are you sure?

443

00:18:31,433 --> 00:18:34,400

Yes, this ratty

piece of polyester

444

00:18:34,436 --> 00:18:37,437

has been soaking in face

oil for eight years.

445

00:18:37,472 --> 00:18:39,138

Light him up.

446

00:18:44,012 --> 00:18:46,012

Good-bye, Tailee.

447

00:18:48,950 --> 00:18:50,650

(whistling and popping)

448

00:18:50,685 --> 00:18:52,185

(gasping)

What the...?

449

00:18:52,220 --> 00:18:53,553

Huh?

450

00:19:00,495 --> 00:19:02,562

Now plug it in!

451

00:19:02,597 --> 00:19:03,830

(people gasping)

452

00:19:03,865 --> 00:19:05,531

Help, help!

453

00:19:05,567 --> 00:19:06,766

Help, we're up here!

454

00:19:06,801 --> 00:19:07,767

(muffled speech)

455

00:19:07,802 --> 00:19:10,203

Everscream Terrors

needs our help!

456

00:19:10,238 --> 00:19:12,605

We can get plastered and hit

on our coworkers later.

457

00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:13,640

Come on!

458

00:19:13,675 --> 00:19:14,841

Get 'em, Zardoz!

459

00:19:14,876 --> 00:19:16,242

(gasping)

460

00:19:16,277 --> 00:19:18,144

Sexy drunks, stop them!

461

00:19:18,179 --> 00:19:20,179

(groaning)

462

00:19:22,817 --> 00:19:24,617

Tragic, really.

463

00:19:24,652 --> 00:19:27,620

For are these guys not

victims, too, in a way,

464

00:19:27,655 --> 00:19:29,989

of our disposable

pop-up culture?

465

00:19:30,025 --> 00:19:31,824

When you get out,

look me up.

466

00:19:31,860 --> 00:19:35,061

I know a guy who owns

a 99-cent store.

467

00:19:35,096 --> 00:19:37,897

99-cent store?

468

00:19:37,932 --> 00:19:40,900

Those places

are open year-round.

469

00:19:40,935 --> 00:19:42,902

The holidays will

come and go,

470

00:19:42,937 --> 00:19:45,772

but... (sniffles)

we'll stay.

471

00:19:48,176 --> 00:19:50,576

Grown-up Halloween

seemed pretty fun.

472

00:19:50,612 --> 00:19:52,578

I saw an areola.

473

00:19:52,614 --> 00:19:54,580

Oh, man, this is

the lamest night

474

00:19:54,616 --> 00:19:56,983

of my entire miserable

Li... (gasps)

475

00:19:59,154 --> 00:20:00,520

Yes!

476

00:20:00,555 --> 00:20:03,122

Everscream

Terrors is back!

477

00:20:04,659 --> 00:20:05,758

(Bart laughs)

478

00:20:05,794 --> 00:20:08,494

Stop it, stop it,

this will scare Lisa.

479

00:20:08,530 --> 00:20:09,530

Boo!

480

00:20:09,564 --> 00:20:10,564

(gasping)

481

00:20:11,566 --> 00:20:13,966

(giggles)

482

00:20:14,002 --> 00:20:15,802

My brave girl.

483

00:20:15,837 --> 00:20:17,837

I burned Tailee.

484

00:20:19,641 --> 00:20:20,873

(grunts)

485

00:20:20,909 --> 00:20:22,375

(laughs)

486

00:20:22,410 --> 00:20:24,010

Foolish Simpsons.

487

00:20:24,045 --> 00:20:26,779

This was not their typical

Halloween experience.

488

00:20:26,815 --> 00:20:29,782

Wow, cool alien

voice, Lenny.

489

00:20:29,818 --> 00:20:32,185

Thanks, I've been

practicing it. As a mat...

490

00:20:32,220 --> 00:20:34,478

(normal voice):

Oh, damn it, I lost it.

491

00:20:34,578 --> 00:20:41,078

== sync, corrected by <font color=#00FF00>elderman</font> ==

<font color=#00FFFF>@elder_man</font>

492

00:20:54,398 --> 00:20:56,865

(theme from<i> Halloween</i> playing)

493

00:21:24,316 --> 00:21:26,316

Shh!