The Things You'Ve Left Behind

8/10/2019 The Things You'Ve Left Behind

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century by century. Park Chanyeol was immortal,and he had seen it all.

And in Park Chanyeol's everlasting life, there wasalso Byun Baekhyun. Baekhyun, who had a reallybright smile and liked to make Chanyeol playlists ofhis favorite songs. Baekhyun, who was 20 but lookedlike 16 and acted like 5. Baekhyun, who was justsupposed to be another passing being in Chanyeol'slackluster stay on Earth.

But he was far from the last one.

One day in June, Chanyeol is out in the cherryblossom park near his home, favorite Nikon D90camera in hand as he clicks away at the beautifulscenery. It's what he always does in June when theleaves of the cherry trees he so loves decide to flutterdown to become one with the earth again. Chanyeolwatches as the baby pink petals float down, slowlyand gently like feathers not one by one, but notquite like a rain either. It's soothing, the way they fall,and he captures a perfectly timed tableau of it.

Humming a light tune, Chanyeol walks along the pathhe's walked for over thirty years now. He stops totake another picture here and there one of amother and her child walking hand in hand down theopposite road that takes them to the pond. It occursto him that he's seen the boy before, but he'sdefinitely bigger this year. Things can change a lotover the course of one year, but to Chanyeol, thesechanges are minuscule.


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This year, it seems like the leaves have started to falla bit later, but maybe, it's just Chanyeol who's late.Time seems to slow down as each year passes; it'snot something he wants but it's something thathappens anyway because life has always been slowfor him. These days, the mornings and afternoonsseem to blend together in a fuzzy haze becausemorning coffee is overrated and Chanyeol doesn'thave anywhere to go, or anywhere to be anyway. Forsome odd reason frozen in time, Park Chanyeol haslong since stopped trying to live. He simply exists,

and he's more than fine with that.

Breathing in the scent of the calm, afternoon air,Chanyeol decides that he should sit so he does justthat. The wooden bench under the big, cherryblossom tree looks inviting and his legs are tiredanyway. The view from the bench is strangelyinteresting, too, as he can see a young man aroundhis late teens (or entering the first of his twenties)scurrying about with a notepad in hand and a pencilin another, head turning this way and that as he takesin the scene around him. He takes a deep breath andjots something down in a flash - a journalist or writerof some sort, Chanyeol thinks. He watches inamusement as the young man brings his pencil to his

mouth to chew it in deep thought. It's weird how hiseyebrows crinkle into a frown as he plays with theair in his cheeks. However, Chanyeol decides that itsa new, if not good kind of weird, so he brings hiscamera to his eyes, focuses the lenses, and snaps apicture.


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The second time Chanyeol meets Baekhyun is infront of the new architecture firm in town. Its late atnight and Chanyeol is walking home from his shift atthe convenience sto re he works at. Hes been noticingthe new building that replaced what used to be aChinese meat bun restaurant; the change is rathernice. Architecture has always been something verydistant from him because no one ever decides to setup architecture firms in the corners of Seoul wherehe lives. Chanyeol lingers by the new building, eyesglazing over the sign and the high, tinted windows.

Suddenly, a loud noise comes from inside thebuilding and thats all the warninghe gets before apile of papers and files come flying his way throughthe door. Chanyeol falls backwards and lands on hispalms as something collapses on top of him.

Oh my god, I am so sorry!

Chanyeol grunts as he lifts his head up to see who theclumsy bastard is, only to find a petite, pale-faced boywith shiny eyes that are wide in fear above him. Hefreezes for a moment at the closeness because ParkChanyeol really hates touching, but the boy (or man,

half-man, whatever he is) scrambles off of himquickly and runs his fingers through his bangs.

Sorry, he says, giving Chanyeol an apologetic smileas he smoothens down his fringe awkwardly.

Chanyeol dusts his knees as he stands up, looking

down at the midget man as he clears his throat. ItsIts fine.


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The shorter seems stunned for the second thatChanyeol opens his mouth and ends up blinkingrapidly. Whoa, he mutters.

Chanyeol frowns a bit and steps away from thestrange boy. He only notices now that its the sameone from the park a few days ago, but its notanything unusual because he knows the town issmall. Hes run into a few familiar faces before afterall. Whats weird though, is that Chanyeol has never

seen this small man around, excluding the first one-sided encounter. He's been living in theneighborhood for longer than he can even remember,so naturally, he deems this strange.

Talk again. The boy blinks, staring up at him withan intrigued expression.

Uhm, Chanyeol mumbles, unsure of what to say.The boys face lights up into a smile and Chanyeolthinks for the third time in those two minutes thatthis kid is seriously weird.

You have a really nice voice, the boy marvels,

smiling with all his teeth showing. Its kind ofintimidating because Chanyeol has rarely had smilesdirected toward him, and definitely not this kind ofsmile either. He hesitates before spilling out amurmur of thanks because suddenly, he feels self-conscious.

Gee, just look at this mess, the boy sighs to himself,running a hand through his brown hair as his eyes


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graze over the mountains of paper on the floor. Someare sketches of regular, mundane skyscrapers whileothers are convoluted designs of colorfularrangements. Thats what they look like to Chanyeol

arrangemenst. The structures dont seem like theycan coexist with the law of physics, but then again,Chanyeol doesnt know anything about architectureso maybe they can.

Chanyeol watches as the boy rolls up his sleeves witha determined puff of air and starts picking up thepapers. He feels like he should walk away and leavethe boy be because he rarely interacts with humans,but for some reason, his feet stay rooted to theground, knees bending forward, and the next thinghe knows, hes on the floor helping the boy pick upthe rudimentary pencil sketches.

Oh, thanks, the boy says, glancing up at the taller.

He flashes another winning smile as he stands up,and Chanyeol stares at his face as he hands the boythe pile of files.

I just moved into the neighborhood so Im probablya new face to you, arent I? The boy laughs, tuckingthe files in his arms and safely bringing them to hischest. Chanyeol looks at him, expressionless.

My name is Byun Baekhyun, if you wanted to know.So-called Baekhyun smiles, offering Chanyeol a hand.Nice to meet you?

Chanyeol stares at Baekhyuns hand but eventually

takes it in his own. Hes not used to using his voice oreven his body to uphold a conversation with


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someone for over a minute anymore, so this iscertainly an uncomfortable situation. Baekhyunlaughs at th e light shake and grips Chanyeols handharder with surprising strength. The shake this time

is firm and tight its warm around Chanyeols hand.The warmth feels as weird as the smile Baekhyunkeeps giving him.

This isnt really the best situation to meet someonenew in, but youre the first person I talked to afterthe workers in the firm and you seem really nice souh Baekhyun cocks his head. Whats your name?

Chanyeol frowns at the question and quickly drawshis hand away, wondering exactly why he's stillstanding there for the smaller to gawk at. Withoutanother word, Chanyeol turns on his heels and walksaway, even though its the opposite direction fromhome. The instinctive alarms in his head are going

haywire, telling him not to talk to the small Baekhyunperson because the more he knows about the boyand vice versa, things just get overly complicated. ButBaekhyun will never understand, and Chanyeolswallows a sigh as the strange boy just catches up tohim, holding onto his tail.

Hey, why are you going away? I just asked for yourname. Baekhyun pouts, struggling to keep up withChanyeols long strides.

Im just heading my own way, Chanyeol says assimply and bluntly as he can without hurting theboys feelings. Is he even a boy? He sure looks likeone.


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Oh, really? Well then thats good! Im going this waytoo, Baekhyun chippers, and Chanyeol almost stopsin his tracks. What a relief - it was a scary thought towalk alone in this dark hour anyway. I guess I have

someone to accom pany me now!

Chanyeol stays as expressionless as possible andcontinues walking.

So can you please say something? Baekhyunprods into his view a few minutes into their walk.Chanyeols eyes flicker to the boys and for amoment, he thinks hes seeing things because theyreshining like two little stars - like Baekhyun only seesrainbows and sunshine in this world.

Like what? Chanyeol asks, wondering why heseven answering in the first place.

Oh man, Baekhyun shivers, grinning like an idiot ashis shoulders shake. Chanyeol stares at the strangesight, and when Baekhyun notices, he bursts ingiggles. Sorry, your voice just gets me every time.He laughs, and Chanyeol wants to go home.

Since you wont tell me your name, can I just call youMr. Voice? Or voice ahjussi? Or

Im not an ahjussi, Chanyeol sighs, eyes boringdown at the shorter. Baekhyun tilts his head inquestion.

How old are you then?


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Chanyeols lips zip shut at the inquiry.

You look about my age, Baekhyun thinks out loud,rubbing his chin thoughtfully as best as he can withthe bundle of files in his arm. So Im guessing 20?

Chanyeol shrugs, not giving him a definite answer.The short boy looks him up and down and raises aneyebrow. Wow, but youre kinda ta ll for a 20 year-

old, he remarks.

And then Park stupid Chanyeol accidentally sputtersout a laugh because who in the world says anyonelooks too tall for a 20 year -old?

Are you sure youre 20? Baekhyun asks, leaning hisface into Chanyeols view. Chanyeol just half-nods ormaybe, shrugs again. Baekhyun is still confusedeither way.

So, 20 year -old not-ahjussi guy, how long have youbeen living around here?

They turn a corner and Chanyeol has no idea wheretheyre headed, but somehow the thoug ht thateverything about this meeting and that the Baekhyunkid is really, really out of his normal routine doesnteven cross his mind once.

Too long, Chanyeol replies, keeping his answersshort. Its been a while since he last talked to


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someone other than just $2.75 please and Thankyou at the convenience store.

Oh, well thats cool, Baekhyun nods eagerly. Thenyou must know everything around here, right?

Chanyeol nods although he isnt sure if heknows everything . Its probably close to it anyway, sohe leaves it at that.

Then you must know that the architecture firm isnew too, right? Baekhyun asks, a smile on his faceagain. Chanyeol nods.

Yeah, I moved in with the building, Baekhyun sayshappily with pride.

Do you work there? Chanyeol gets around toasking, mouth moving numbly. Maybe its too late atnight to think straight. Normally, he wouldnt talk tothese somewhat strangers that come and go in hisdaily life.

No, not really. Im just trying to get an internshipthere. Trying. Baekhyun emphasizes the last word,holding up the bundle of papers and shaking them inthe air. This is as good as it gets.

Soon, they round another corner and it seems asthough theyve reached their destination becauseBaekhyun slows down and points to the illuminated

building down the road. Well, theres my stop, hesays with a smile. It sure was nice talking to you.


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Baekhyun offers him a hand again but Chanyeoldoesnt know if he wants to leave just yet.

Arent you going to go home? Baekhyun asks,metaphorically waving a hand in front of Chanyeolsblank face. Its pretty late.

Chanyeol thinks for a moment, but nothing comes upin his head. He feels some sort of spark inside of him

but its an obscured, dull one. It still doesnt explainthe question he asks next.

Can I watch what you do?

Chanyeol wants to convince himself that hes justinterested in architecture - he just wants to knowabout those colorful arrangements on those sallowsheets of paper. This has nothing to do withBaekhyun not at all. Hes just curious aboutarchitecture. Thats really it.

Uhm, sure, Baekhyun says slowly, thrown off atfirst. A smile reappears however. Yeah, sure. Why

not? It gets pretty lonely by myself anyway.

Cool. Chanyeol nods, shoving his hands inside of hispocket and bounding towards the flashing OPENsign of the bright building first. Baekhyun followswith a raised eyebrow, but hes glad to have made anew acquaintance in the dull neighborhood so fast.


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Is this all you do? he asks. "Make copies?

Baekhyun nods, too engrossed in his scanning toeven look up. It looks like hes memorizing everysketch before he transcribes them, and Chanyeolrecognizes this expression of sheer concentration. Herecalls thinking that Baekhyun was a writer, too, andfrowns. Strange.

I go back and forth between the office and the copymachines, and do all the little jobs like fetchingcoffee, Baekhyun answers.

So youre like a peon, basically, Chanyeol concludes.Baekhyun looks up, and Chanyeol expects to seesome kind of negative emotion spread over his facebecause stupid Park Chanyeol cant take note ofhuman feelings, situations, and all that social crapanymore , but Baekhyun just smiles brightly.

I guess. Baekhyun shrugs. For now, he adds, andChanyeol breathes a sigh of relief because he'dthought hed said something offensive.

For a while, the two just stand there as Baekhyunscans and copies, scans and copies. Chanyeolstrangely doesnt get bored and instead, absorbs theabstract shapes on the papers like a sponge. Helearns a lot about Baekhyun too most notably thatBaekhyun talks a lot .


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In the short span of two hours, Chanyeol learns allabout Baekhyun. Theyre only walking back from theprinting office, and already, Chanyeol knows thatBaekhyun doesnt have any siblings. He doesnt have

any parents left either. He has a passion for singingeven though he thinks he isnt good at it, and hesscared to death of bugs. Byun Baekhyun is ablossoming landscape architect, or he wants to beanyway. Hes not enrolled into a university yet, buthes trying. He serves as a consideration for internat the small division (the one in town) of some bigcompany thats owned by a genius billionaire. Theytreat him like soggy meat, but Baekhyun is happynonetheless. He really does all his work whole-heartedly, no matter how trivial it is even if its justsomething as simple as making copies of blueprintsor delivering morning coffee. Baekhyun lives witheffort.

The boy also says that his dream is to visit Paris one

day, because the architecture there has alwaysintrigued him. He actually mentions Paris five timesduring the short walk.

Another thing Baekhyun mentions is that he wants tobuild a gargantuan eco-friendly dome that "acts as anarchitectural tree by filtering the air." Its supposedto preserve what little green they have left in the city.Chanyeol asks why Baekhyun took up architecture,and the boy responds by saying Dont you want tocreate your own l ittle world sometimes?.

Like this, Baekhyun has big dreams.

Chanyeol learns that Baekhyun also really likesanimals and nature. He likes dogs, and its funnybecause Chanyeol thinks the boy looks like a puppy


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When Chanyeol wakes up the next morning,Baekhyun isnt in bed. Thats because said man isdangling his legs off the second floor window ofChanyeols apartment and singing to thefreaking birds. Chanyeol cracks an eye open andalmost flips because Baekhyun looks like hes aboutto fall any minute, but then he hears the voice and allthings shut down in his brain.

Baekhyun is singing, and his singing is beautiful.His voice is beautiful.

Chanyeols body falls numb as he watches a dumbsmile spread across Baekhyuns happy -go-lucky facewhen the birds chirp back a string of messy notes.Baekhyuns voice is so, so smooth, and Chanyeol getssucked into it like a black hole. The fact thatBaekhyun is communicating with birds at six in themorning is really, really strange, but just Baekhyun ingeneral is plain weird , so Chanyeol guesses this isjust one of the Baekhyun things that Baekhyundoes. After a good five minutes of singing to thebirds, the boy hops down and notices that Chanyeolis awake. He politely asks if he can shower, and

Chanyeol nods.

Baekhyun sings in the shower, too.

Its kind of funny and Chanyeol has to stifle a laughonce or twice because Baekhyun is so into it, butmostly, he just lies there in bed and breathes really


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hard because Baekhyuns singing seriously doesthings to the air in his lungs.

Baekhyun comes out buoyantly fifteen minutes laterwith a towel over his wet head and Chanyeol offershim a shirt that barely fits (the sleeves hang past thebend of his elbows). He thanks him again foreverything, and the older breathes a sigh of reliefwhen the boy walks out the door. Interacting withhumans is something Chanyeol will never get used toand he hopes to keep it that way.

Chanyeols relief is comp letely thrown out thewindow, however, because a couple days later,Baekhyun comes knocking at his door at five in themorning, bounding in like a deer.

Baekhyun, what are you doing at my house?Chanyeol frowns, blinking the sleep out of his eyes.

Were gonna go watch the sunrise today, Baekhyunannounces.

Chanyeols hand stops mid -rub and he stares,dumbfounded. No, really, Baekhyun. What are youdoing here?

Im serious! Baekhyun laughs, and Chanyeol tries toresist everything about the b oy but he cant.

Baekhyun never gives him a chance to retaliate. Andbesides, I had to give you your shirt back.


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Before he knows it, Chanyeol is paying the bus fare to

the nearest pier and Baekhyun is smiling next to him.Its the same, intimidating smile, but Chanyeol findssomething new in it because his heart is feeling lightagain and he cant stop it.

Why are we doing this again?

Its a repayment for taking me under your wing thatnight.

You really dont need t -

I just want to be friends with you, honestly.

It isnt until after a years visit to the oceans sandy

shores that Chanyeol starts writing letters toBaekhyun. As the days pass, the words he wants tosay are rapidly increasing but he never knows how tosay them. So instead, he resolves to writing them onpaper.

Except Chanyeol never gives those letters toBaekhyun. He keeps them in a box in his desk drawereven though all of them start with To Baekhyun


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and end with From Chanyeol. Some thoughts aretoo person al to share; Baekhyun doesnt knowenough about him after all.

The day Chanyeol picks up his pen, Baekhyun comesringing at his doorbell and shimmies in playfully withanother one of his resplendent grins painted on hisface. Chanyeol has grown used to Baekhyun visitingwhenever he pleases, and knows that usually, if theshorter comes at this hour, it means Lets go watchthe sun rise and sun set and spend a whole day withsand between our toes.

Chanyeol doesnt complain.

At the beach shore, Baekhyu ns heart is soaring as heholds out his arms by his side and runs through thesoft sand. Chanyeol watches as he tries to hold back a

smile and walks slowly, feeling the sand wade up hispinky toe every time he takes a step deep enough.The offing glimmers in the calm light and the sun issetting, painting the sky with beautiful shades oforange and pink. Chanyeol holds his camera to hiseye and focuses it before he snaps a perfect picture.Baekhyuns head pokes out in the corner comicallyand Chanyeol laughs.

Chanyeol, Chanyeol! Come look at this! Baekhyunshouts loudly, hand beckoning the taller over.

What is it? Chanyeol asks once he catches up to thehappy pup. Baekhyun grins at him and points to thefloor. Hes holding a large stick in his hand and

looking proud.


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Chanyeols eyes move to the floor, and what he seesamazes him.

Its a design Baekhyuns dream dome, outlined intothe grainy sand with detailed precision. There arelines everywhere and Chanyeol doesnt reallyunderstand much of what Baekhyun has drawn, buthe takes in all of it anyway. It takes his breath awayhow amazing Baekhyuns ideas look like on paper, orin this case, sand, because never in his life has he

seen something as incredible as this. Everything isdetail, detail, detail, and its the first time Chanyeolsees just how talented Baekhyuns pretty hands are.

What do you think? Baekhyun asks, smiling.Chanyeol looks up and takes in all of Baekhyun too.Theres a bead of sweat on the side of the boysforehead, and Chanyeol almost reaches out to wipe itaway. The effort Baekhyun puts into this simple yetabstract masterpiece stirs something in Chanyeolsheart and he admires the boy for a second, letting theimage of the light falling on Baekhyuns head hang ahalo over him.

Look, heres where it starts, Baekhyun sets out to

explain, pointing his stick at the base of the domewhere glass meets earth. It looks like half of a soccerball, except its hollowed out and made of glass. Itlooms protectively over a small field of grass in themiddle of a city, and under it, the small city crittersrelax in the serene tranquility. It looks like a tinyportion of paradise amidst the gray, drab shops andtowering glass skyscrapers it looks like heaven.


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And here, see? Solar powered panels! Baekhyunexclaims, pointing his stick towards the smallrectangles drawn on the roof. And an automaticwatering system with built in sprinklers just in case

theres not enough rain!

Chanyeol watches the stick and the hands that holdit. Baekhyuns hands are beautiful: pure, white, andsoft, just like Baekhyun himself.

And, and this too! Baekhyun is tumbling over hisown words in excitement. Here, the bad air goes inand good air comes out, and

Chanyeol looks up and watch es the way Baekhyunseyes shine.

And and the animals graze here, and people canvisit if they want to, and sit on this bench

Baekhyun smiles widely, breaths coming out shortand sharp because hes overwhelmed and breathlessas he takes in his own work.

And we can walk there every day and watch thesmiles on everyones faces because its so nice to seepeople smile, isnt it? And this, its going to Itllbe

Baekhyun swallows, takes a deep breath, and looksat Chanyeol.


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Itll be like our little world, right? Just you and metogether behind it all. We can build this together andcall it ours; wouldnt that be great?

The words still ring in Chanyeols ears.

Wouldnt that be great?

Dear Baekhyun,

You really are amazing.

From,

Chanyeol

Its a few weeks into that years winter, when theleaves of the cherry trees have long fallen off, thatBaekhyun scrambles to Chanyeols house at five inthe morning for a different reason.

Chanyeol! Open up!


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Chanyeol is at the door two minutes later, groggilyrubbing his sleepy eyes open as always. Cold airgreets him before Baekhyun does, and Chanyeol rubshis arms, shivering.

Chanyeol, its snowing! The first snow is here!Baekhyun laughs excitedly, grabbing Chanyeols lazyhands and jumping up and down in the air.Its snowing , Chanyeol!

Chanyeol watches Baekhyun bob up and down andhe cant help but crack a sleepy smile.

And you know what were going to do? Baekhyunasks, lips spreading across his face.

What are we going to do? Chanyeol asks with a

chuckle.

Were going to be the first ones to walk on thesnow, Baekhyun responds, cheeks bursting withhappiness.

Why do we have to be the first ones? he asks.

Because the first is always the most special,Baekhyun answers, simple as that.

And then Chanyeol is pulled into Baekhyuns worldagain as he leaves the house with a coat, muffler, and

a snug pair of mittens. Baekhyuns world is filled


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with new sights and warmth, and Chanyeol cant getout.

Well, I mean, technically, Im the first one since Istepped on the snow to get to your door, but we canstill say we were the first ones.

Baekhyuns hand grips tightly around Chanyeols andthere is warmth all over.

The both of us you and me because were alwaystogether like that; right, Chanyeol?

Winter passes with the soothing aroma of coffeefrom the caf by Chanyeols house because its toocold to go to the beach. Baekhyun breaks out into a fitof laughter every time the foam from the cappuccinostays on his lips, and Chanyeol wants to take apicture but he always forgets to bring his camera. Itdoesnt matter anyway though, because the soft foamon his own lips and the warm scent of caramelmacchiatos linger in his memory, day after day.


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After winter comes spring, and May greets them withBaekhyuns birthday.

Whens your birthday? Baekhyun asks that day,blinking up at Chanyeol.

I dont have one.

But everyone has a birthday!

... I dont.

Chanyeol lets it slip and its only then that heremembers Baekhyun doesnt know a single realthing about him. Baekhyun doesnt know Chanyeolwill never be able to wilt like everyone else, and for

the first time, Chanyeol feels something inside himshatter.

That night, Chanyeol wants to write Baekhyun aletter, but all that comes out is a heavy emptiness.

Dear Baekhyun,


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Fall comes and Baekhyun takes Chanyeol to see thestars. Chanyeol is dragged out of the house like anyother day, and this time, they board a bus and ridefor hours without end. Somewhere along the way,

Baekhyun's hand comes to rest on Chanyeol's andtheir shoulders brush against each other again andagain. They're much to close and Chanyeol hatestouching, but Baekhyun is warm and the night is coldso he doesn't move away. He can't move away.

Once the bus halts to a slow stop, Chanyeol andBaekhyun step off and a dirt road greets them.Chanyeol has no idea where they are, but Baekhyunleads the way and takes Chanyeol up a small, grassyhill. The sky is clear with no clouds, and darknessfalls gently over them. Baekhyun falters a bit andaccidentally trips.

Be careful, Byun Baek, Chanyeol hisses, and lifts

him back up on his feet. Baekhyun just laughs asChanyeol accidentally tickles his sides.

Once they reach the top of the hill, Baekhyun shedsoff his jacket and lays it on the floor. Chanyeol doesthe same and they sit down, the blades of grasspoking, tickling under them.

Where are we? Chanyeol finally asks.

Gangwon -do, Baekhyun replies, gazing up into thenight sky. Little specks of light litter the darkness andtwinkle invisibly, one by one. I used to come here alot with my family.


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Chanyeol glances at the shorter and watches themoonlight catch his eyes. Baekhyun turns his headtoward him and gives him a soft smile. Its nice here,isnt it?

The placid wind flutters over Chanyeols skin and henods.

Baekhyun stretches his arms back and falls on top ofhis jacket, contently closing his eyes. He nudgesChanyeol with an elbow and drags the taller downwith him, laughing.

The night is still and Chanyeol relaxes, letting thesound of the chirping crickets soothe him. He looksup and there is a big, bright moon that shines downon them. The stars bask in the moons light, too, andemit some of their own; Chanyeol doesnt know

which are parts of a constellation and which arent,but they all look beautiful to him.

Do you stargaze often? Baekhyun asks, tilting hishead to carry his voice over.

Not really, Chany eol replies, eyes glazing over theglinting dots in the sky. Do you?

Not as often as I want to, Baekhyun says, gazing upagain. Theres never any time.

Time? Chanyeol asks, words mulling over his

tongue. Time is something Chanyeol always has.Why not?


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Im just so busy all the time; you know how it is.Monday through Friday at the architecture firm,Saturdays and Sundays spent with you, Baekhyunexplains. I have so much to do, yet so little time.

I say youre lucky, Chanyeol says, closing his eyes. Ihave the time, but nothing to fill it with.

Baekhyun glances at the other and gives him a weak

smile. Its kind of sad how life never works outperfectly for anyone, isnt it? Some people havethings that mean nothing to them, but everything toanother. People are never satisfied with what theyhave, I guess, even if it's all someone else could havewished for.

Baekhyun turns his head and sighs. Maybe Godswitched those wants and needs of everyonearound so that people can work together. You know,to find their happiness. Share and indulge, yeah?

Maybe, Chanyeol replies, though only half of whatBaekhyun says makes sense.

Hey, then wouldnt that mean were meant to be,Chanyeol? Baekhyun jokes. You have what I want,and I have what you want. We balance each otherout, huh?

Chanyeol smiles a bit, and Baekhyun laughs as hesquirms closer, lets their shoulders touch again.Chanyeol doesnt move away this time either.


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Im glad I met you, Chanyeol, Baekhyun breathes, gazing up at the golden brown hair and making hisway down to study Chanyeols smooth features.Really, really glad.

Something compels Chanyeol to look down at thegently smiling boy, and their eyes lock.

Forever , he thinks. He wants things to be like this

forever.

Chanyeols head feels fuzzy at the corners asBaekhyuns orbs shine and sink into the deepestparts of his heart. He cant stop the words fromcoming out of his mouth.

Byun Baekhyun,

Yeah?

Move in with me.

Dear Baekhyun,


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These days, I feel like Im falling into step witheverything as it is. Time doesnt slow down anymoreexcept for the hours spent at the convenience storeon my shift; I wonder if its you thats making life

speed back into pace because the days with you go byso quickly.

Honestly, I dont know where Ive been stuck thiswhole time, wandering and wandering in a loop -every single day used to be the same. Was I stuck inthe past or the future? Im not sure myself. But what Ido know is that no one has made me feel like Im

living in their time like you do, Baekhyun.

Thank you.

From,

Chanyeol

The following winter, Chanyeol wakes up to thesound of Baekhyun humming as morning coffeebrews in the old coffee pot. Baekhyun fixes it up oncehe moves in, and now every day's routine is thesame: Baekhyun wakes up early in the morning to

pour in the coffee mix, takes a quick shower as hesings at the top of his lungs, then comes back outwith a towel over his head, smiling like an idiotbefore waking Chanyeol up with nice, warm,hazelnut coffee.

With every month that passes, Baekhyun bringssomething new and interesting into their lives. ThisDecember, its cassette tapes.


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What is it? the man asks. Baekhyun points to thecassette player and grins.

How much is this, camera ahjussi?

Baekhyun, youre really going to buy that?Chanyeol butts in.

Shhh, Chanyeol! Baekhyun shushes, turning to theshop owner again. How much is this?

The shop owner chuckles, shaking his head. Thatsnot for sale.

Why not? Baekhyun whines, jutting out his lowerlip.

The thing doesnt sell, the old man explains. Yousee the dust there? Nobody wants that anymore. Youcan take it if you like, sure, but its gonna cost you.

How much? Baekhyun asks, eyes rounding.

Id say about 450?

Ahjussi!

Its antique, boy! Take it or leave it.


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And the entrance to the park can go here, he says,pointing to a corner of the bed. With the trees andthe nicely paved dirt road curving around thecorners there.

Chanyeol watches as Baekhyun leaps over the bedand dashes to another corner of their room. Andhere, this is the place where the whole garden starts,and everything in the room leads back to this on themain road. Do you see what Im saying here? Itll be

like Rome, Chanyeol, but in a park form!

Chanyeol laughs approvingly and gives Baekhyun athumbs up because the smile on the youngers face isbigger than anything else in the world. To Chanyeol,that smile is all that matters.

But still, he cant deny the feeling that Baekhyun isslowly drifting away from him. Its not that theyrenot always together because they are , minus theirday shifts, but Chanyeol feels a barrier crawl upbetween them every time Baekhyun talks about thearchitecture firm or how nice the workers there areto him. He doesnt know if its just him thats fadingor Baekhyun thats fading, but the fading is

undeniably there and Chanyeol grows afraid.

May comes, and its Baekhyuns birthday again. Itsnot the first of Baekhyuns birthdays theyve spent


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together, but its the first time Chanyeol has preparedsomething for the younger so the day is special.

Happy birthday, Byun Baekhyun, Chanyeolwhispers, early in the morning as soon as he wakesup. Baekhyun rubs his eyes sleepily and turns to him,grinning sheepishly.

You remembered, he laughs.

Go check the closet, Chanyeol urges, smiling.

Why? Is there something in there? the youngerasks, eyes widening immediately. Sleep is jerked outof him in an instant. Chanyeol just grins and shrugs,turning his body away.

You got me something?! Baekhyun cries, jumpingout of bed. He charges towards the closet and his jawdrops to the floor when he sees whats inside.

Chanyeol draws the covers over his head, expecting ascream or at least a loud gasp, but nothing comes.Confused, Chanyeol peeks out of the blankets andsees Baekhyun on the floor.

Crying.

Baekhyun, Chanyeol call s immediately, ripping thecovers off. Why are you crying?


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Baekhyun holds the brown cassette recorder andnew set of sketching pencils in his hands and hugsthem close to his body.

Hey, Byun Baek, you okay? Chanyeol asks, sittingdown beside the younger.

Suddenly, Baekhyun wraps his arms around him andChanyeol sucks in his breath in shock.

C-Chanyeol, Baekhyun bawls, tears streaming downhis face and blearing his vision. He holds on tight tothe tall male. You idiot.

Chanyeol doesnt know what Baekhyun means bythat, but he runs his fingers through the shortershair and whispers calm words into his ear.

Baekhyun brings himself out of Chanyeols arm afterwhat feels like forever and bashfully looks up, bangspoking at his eyes and his face, red and blotchy.

Thank you, Chanyeol. You're the best.

Hi Chanyeol! I hope this plays correctly. I'm stilllearning how to do this whole "recording tapes"thing so I don't know if my voice will sound too clear,but Wait, am I even recording? I'm pressing the

butto-... Oh, yeah, I am. Sorry, Chanyeol. Promise thesecond one won't have my voice in it. I just wanted to


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try this out just in case I ever wanted to recordsomething other than the songs I'll be putting in myplaylists. I really do hope you like this first one. Thefirst is always the most special, remember? Thank

you for this, by the way. Oh, and Chanyeol! Youshould smile more. Your smile is the best in thisworld.

June and July pass, and Chanyeol already has a boxfull of the playlists Baekhyun makes him. He playsit occasionally when Baekhyun is late from work,letting the sound of Baekhyuns mind and soul fill upthe room because home without Baekhyun is tooquiet.

In August, Baekhyun comes running home with alavender paper in his hand and as soon as he bargesin through the door, he slams Chanyeol with a hug.

Chanyeol! he cries.

What? Chanyeol blinks, arms frozen by his sidesbecause Baekhyun is binding him.

Im going to Paris!

What?


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Paris! Im going to Paris! Baekhyun hugs Chanyeoltight and screams in delight as he manages to lift thegiant up a centimeter off the floor.

Im glad, Baekhyun. Im really glad.

They sit down once Baekhyun has calmed downenough and the taller asks him how he got such anopportunity.

My division manager apparently has some businessthere, so hes taking a handful of people just for theheck of it well, not really because were supposedto be sight-seeing and learning as we travel, but yeah,hes taking a few of us and he picked me! He pickedme! So Im going to go to Paris!

Baekhyun laughs for the hundredth time that dayand Chanyeol smiles back because hes happy forBaekhyun he really is. But theres a throb in hisheart that wont go away and when night comes,Chanyeol finds a lump in his throat.

For the next few days, he finds himself playingBaekhyuns playlists over and over again.

Just please don't wander away from my sight.

Please don't disappear, even when the morningcomes


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When are you leaving? Chanyeol asks, two weeksafter Baekhyun drops the news. Baekhyun looks upfrom his sketches and gives him an excited smile.

November 25, Baekhyun replies, and Chanyeol mentally counts downthe days.

How long will you be there?

Three months.

Chanyeols face falls. Three months?

Yeah, three.

Be careful there, okay? That's all Chanyeol can say.

Baekhyun gives him a nod. Dont worry, Chanyeol. I will.

By the end of September, Chanyeol realizes a lot ofthings. Sometimes, it hits him in the middle of thenight that Baekhyun is going to be leaving soon, andthe thought scares him even though he knowsBaekhyun is going to come back. On other nights, herealizes that someday, it wont just be three monthsand that Baekhyun might be gone forever.


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Chanyeol doesnt know exactly when it is that he fallsin love with the boy. Perhaps its the day Baekhyunfirst takes him to see the sunrise or perhaps its theday they go stargazing. Or maybe its the day

Chanyeol finds out Baekhyun is going to go to Paris.It doesnt m atter when it starts though, because heonly realizes it now. And when hes reminded of thereason why he doesnt get attached to people andplaces alike in the first place, reality slaps Chanyeolhard in the face because he remembers.

Baekhyun cant last forever like he does. One day,Baekhyun wont be there to make him coffee andmixed tapes. He wont be there to sing in the showersat six in the morning and chirp with the birds. Hewont be there to make Chanyeols house into theirown little world, where Baekhyun is magician andChanyeol, spectator. Reality slaps him so hard, in fact,that tears roll down his face and the way they burnon Chanyeols cheeks tells him everything he never

wanted to know.

He loves Baekhyun. Its evident when he cant pushthose sparkling two eyes away when hedoesnt want to push them away. He wants to hold ontight and never let go because for once, Chanyeol isliving in the present.

But Baekhyun's time is too much to ask for.

Sleep evades Chanyeol as the days dwindle down to ameasly number. There are four days left until


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Baekhyun has to go, and Chanyeol feels a heavinessin his heart he's never felt before.

Baekhyun, he calls that night, right before they goto sleep.

Hmm?

Be careful, okay?

I will, Chanyeol. You dont have to worry.

Silence fills the room again as usual, and Chanyeolswallows the lump in his throat that always seems tolinger there. No matter how much he swallowsthough, the lump doesn't go away and its not too

long before he cracks.

Baekhyun, do you," Chanyeol whispers, voicebreaking as he watches the way moonlight falls onBaekhyuns turned back. Even after all this time,Baekhyun leaves most of the space on the mattress toChanyeol because Baekhyun is Baekhyun, and hecares about small things like this. Do you have togo?

Baekhyun tenses visibly as he hears the pain inChanyeols voice for the first time.

Chanyeol wants to stop himself, but he cant help it

when he closes the distance between them and hugsBaek hyuns small body from behind. He does it even


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though he hates touching because Baekhyun feelswarm and real . He feels like eternity in Chanyeolsarms.

Baekhyun has always felt like forever to Chanyeolfrom the moment they met.

C-Chanyeol, I

Just for a minute, okay? Chanyeol chokes out,wishing Baekhyun would stop talking. His head rests

on the curve of the shorters neck as he wills theblurriness in his eyes to go away. I know. I dontwant to do this either, but just

Baekhyun waits until Chanyeols tears sink back intohis eyes, and rubs slow circles on his arm.

I promise Ill be back soon. Ill be back before youeven know it, Baekhyun whispers. And when Icome back, we can listen to all my tapes together andsing along to them. We can go to the beach likealways; nothings going to change.

Baekhyun, shut up.

When I get to Paris, Ill send you all the postcards inevery single souvenir shop and all my new sketchestoo. Youll see me improve like always, and we cancall each other on the phone if we want, right? Itmight cost a lot, but

Baekhyun, you dont know anything. Just shut up.


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Were always together, remember, Chanyeol? Youand me. When I come back, Im going to be animproved Baekhyun, and youll be a better Chanyeoland we can start building that glass dome. Its goingto take a while, so we should start on it early, right?

Baekhyun, just

Dont worry Chanyeol,

Its all just rambling.

Ill come back, and youll be here as always. Welldrink caramel macchiatos and cappuccino on colddays and

Baekhyun, Chanyeol interrupts, breathing hard andragged from his violent heartbeat. Baekhyunswallows nervously as Chanyeols breath ghosts overhis nape. Just stop.

Baekhyun feels something pull at his heart when the

arms leave his waist, and all of a sudden, Chanyeol ishovering over him with tears in his eyes. Theythreaten to fall on Baekhyun as his weak arms fall byhis head, lips mere inches away.

Baekhyun closes his eyes when Chanyeols lips brushagainst his.


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Its much too late, Baekhyun.

The next day, Baekhyun holds Chanyeol's hand asthey walk over the wet sand with their shoesclacking in the other, matching their footsteps as theycast two mirroring shadows. One is long and theother is short, but in the calm silence, the two blendinto one.

Baekhyuns palms are sweaty and Chanyeol feels ittoo, but neither breaks away because time is alwaysagainst Chanyeol. Although it shouldnt be, it feelslike this is the last chance they get.

At some point, Baekhyun stoops down to pick up astick and Chanyeol squats down with him, hands stillintertwined and hesitant to let go.

Baekhyun struggles as he tries to write something inthe wet sand with his left hand.

Are you okay now?"

Chanyeol stares at the words silently. Baekhyunoffers him the stick, but Chanyeol doesnt know howto respond so he doesnt take it.


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Baekhyun glances at Chanyeols blank face and feelshis heart drop. The waves lick at his writing and itslowly ebbs away.

A couple of hours later, Baekhyun tries again.

Are you okay now?

Chanyeol takes the stick this time, gathers histhoughts, but the words dont come out the way hewants them to. He wants to tell Baekhyun not to go.He wants to ask Baekhyun if he can just stay withhim forever.

The words slice through the ground and Chanyeolwants them to stay there, but they fade away as thewaves come and go, and Baekhyun squeezes hishand.

Byun Baekhyun, I love you.

The night before, Chanyeol remembers a damppillow under his cheeks. Baekhyun is fast asleep butChanyeol is wide awake, having trouble breathing ashe lies there, taking in all of the boys face. For somereason, it feels like its his last chance to memorizethose handsome features. Chanyeol doesnt know

why it feels like something terrible is coming, but heholds Baekhyuns soft hand tight in his and covers it


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with gentle kisses, because thats the best he can dowithout letting Baekhyun know how much he wantshim to stay.

On the day the world comes tumbling down,Chanyeol sees Baekhyun off at the airport and theyounger pulls him in for a long, steady hug.

Be careful, okay? Chanyeol whispers one more timeand Baekhyun nods, kisses him lightly, squeezes hishand.

I will.

The plane leaves and takes a part of Chanyeol with it,but it never comes back.

The plane never comes back.

The next morning, Chanyeol wakes up and there is nocoffee. There are no birds chirping and no singingflooding out from the bathroom. There is no laughter,there is no sound. There is no Baekhyun.


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Chanyeol gets up and checks his phone. There aren'tany calls from Baekhyun, but its too early to beworried. Chanyeol looks out the window and theground is completely wet. It must have rained very

hard last night.

The next day, there are no calls either. Chanyeolfrowns at his empty phone and stares at it for the

first few hours of the morning. The house is quiet, soChanyeol turns on the TV and a news anchor speaksinto her microphone.

Yesterday, November 25, 2012, a plane from Seoulto Paris has crashed into the mountain of

No.

76 passengers killed in the impact, the plane wascompletely destroyed,

The fire department says it is hard to identify a f ewof the dead bodies and

No. No, no, no.


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- the airline will be contacting family andconnections as soon as "

NO.

Chanyeols remote flies out of his hand and theres aringing in his ears.

Park Chanyeol - ssi?

Speaking.

Ah, good evening sir. Were calling from the IncheonAirport. We've contacted to inform you

Everything blurs.


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Byun Baekhyun, I told you to be careful.

The next day, a package arrives at Chanyeols house,but Chanyeol doesnt move out of bed. The initialshock numbs him from the memories that only come

flooding later. His hands tremble once they find thecourage to open the package, and in it, there is a note.

These are the items we were able to retrievefrom Byun Baekhyun . Please return them if they arenot rightful possessions of this passenger. Thank you.

The note is so simple and heartless just a copy andpaste for each of the 76 deaths. Chanyeol grips hisheart as he opens the lid and spills out the contents.

There isnt much in there, just a charred bottle ofshampoo and one of Baekhyuns favorite jackets,

singed at the sleeves. Chanyeol picks it up in hisshaking hands and holds it close to his chest, covershis eyes as fragments of hugs and almost kisses,caramel macchiato and morning greetings jarthrough his head. He covers his ears whenBaekhyuns voice calls out sweetly to him, Chanyeol,Park Chanyeol, because three months will have goneand gone but there won't be anyone in the room tocall him that anymore. Chanyeol wants to cover hisheart when it rips and pounds in his ears; when the


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pain throbs in his whole body; because it's too much.But he cant. Baekhyun is in too deep already and ithurts, hurts, hurts everywhere.

Chanyeol curls into a ball and screams into his knees.For a short second, he feels numb like the roar hasblasted out his anger until all that remains is fatigueand a thin sheet of sweat. When he opens his eyes,the room is dark and there is no Baekhyun. Therewont b e a Baekhyun anymore, and Chanyeol feelsthe walls clamp down on him, suffocating his lungs.There are so many words he hasnt said. So manyhugs he could have given. So many more almost-kisses. So many I love yous that could have slippedfrom his tongue and so many I love you toos.

Chanyeol feels something fall out of Baekhyunsjacket pocket and he feels nauseous when he seesthat its a cassette tape in perfect condition. He

crawls to the cassette player and plays it even thoughhe knows how much more damage it will do to him.Baekhyuns voice floods out and fills the roomthrough the speakers, and theres so much slammingin and out of Chanyeols head that his vision growsblack from all the hot tears and gritted screams.

Ah, ah. Testing, testing. Is this recording? Oh, wait,the red button is blinking, yay!

Park Chanyeol! Its me, Baekhyun. Happy birthday! Iknow, youre probably thinking What do you mean,birthday?, right? Yeah, I know. But I was planning on

picking a birthday for you for a long time now, so ta- dah! I wanted a special day to be your birthday since


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birthdays are really important, but I couldnt reallythink of one so lets just say that it's the day thisfinally gets to you. So if this is the first time yourehearing this, Chanyeol, happy birthday!

I dont know if you knew, but Ive b een recordingthings every day before you woke up. Before I take ashower, before I put in the coffee mix. I never really got around to telling you this, but I just hope youknow how thankful I am for someone like you in mylife. Youve done so much for me so far, to the pointwhere I cant even repay you, but heres my firstbirthday gift to you, Chanyeol. Keep this safe, okay?The first is always the most special, remember?

Chanyeol hears Baekhyun even in his dreams; whennight has fallen and day has passed, Baekhyun stilllingers and never disappears.

When time passes by, Ill still be by your sidebecause were always together, right, Chanyeol? Sowhen I go to Paris, dont feel sad okay? Its not that Iwant to leave you; its just that Paris h as been mydream my whole life and this is a once in a lifetimeopportunity - I hope you understand. When Imthere, we can count down to the days I come backhome and well miss each other so much that whenwe meet again, well love each other even more. Letsthink of it that way, Chanyeol. Okay?

Hmm, well this is getting long and I have to finishrecording the songs before you wake up, so Ill end ithere. Ill probably send this tape to you sometimeafter I arrive at Paris. Its too embarrassing to give itto you right now. I hope you dont make fun of me forbeing all mushy gushy. This is hard enough as it is,Park Chanyeol! Well anyway, I should seriously wrap


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this up. Dont forget to wake up on time for yourmorning shifts, and keep taking pictures even thoughIm not there, okay? When I come b ack, I want to seehow much fun you had without me. Seriously ending

it now, haha. I love you, Chanyeol. Bye!

Monday, April 20th, 2013

Dear Baekhyun,

Baekhyun, I...

Sometimes, I feel dumb. I keep writing these lettersto you even though I know you'll never get them. Ikeep playing your cassette tapes even though I'mscared they might break. The first playlist you madefor me is playing right now and I know, it's stupid.But I need to hear your voice, Baekhyun.

Guide me,to the place you are at.

Take me there with you.Even if it's at the end of the world,

I'll follow you.

There's times when I feel like crying. When I sit athome with the rain falling quietly on my roof at twoin the morning, I remember the times you used tocrawl next to my heater with all my blankets bundledup around you. You always said you got cold easily,


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remember? I bought a mattress heater because ofyou. I still have it now; I really don't know what to dowith it. Sometimes, I turn it up and put my hand onthere; it doesn't make me feel any better though.

Camera Ahjussi asks about you, Baekhyun. I thinkI've told him once before that you weren't hereanymore, but you know how it is with old people.They forget things. But then again, I'm old. I'm olderthan Camera Ahjussi. I'm so damn old but I can'tforget anything, Baekhyun. I can't forget the dayswhen the first thing I saw when I woke up was yoursmile. I can't forget the way your hair fell into youreyes and poked at them right after you showeredbecause your bangs were always too long. I can'tforget the way you gave life to our house, sprinklingit with your fairy dust and making me smile.

And I can't forget the promises you made either,

Baekhyun.

You said we'd listen to all your tapes together whenyou got back. You said wed go to the beach likealways. You said you'd come back soon. But whereare you Baekhyun? Because you're definitely nothere.

Your stupid playlist is still going but you're notfucking here to listen to it with me. You said wed always be together, you and me. Where are mypostcards, Baekhyun?

My tears are smudging the ink at the corners and I'm

trying so hard not to let them fall because you're not


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here to wipe them away for me, but I can't ,Baekhyun. The tears just won't stop tonight.

They haven't stopped since November.

I miss you,

Chanyeol

Just please don't wander away from my sight.

Please don't disappear, even when the morningcomes

Sunlight falls gently on Chanyeols hair, lands softlyon his shoulders and maybe sinks a little into thedepths of his soul. A light breeze flitters by andwhispers in his ear, tickling it with the remnants ofsomething that doesnt want to be forgotten. Thesalty smell of the ocean rushes into Chanyeols noseand lingers there like its the first time, and seagullscry quietly overhead.

In his hands, his shoes are clacking together as hewalks barefoot on the wet sand. Water brushes by hisfeet, once, twice, and Chanyeol closes his eyes,listening carefully; in that moment, the sea ebbsaway and time is warped backwards.

There is no Baekhyun walking hand in hand with himanymore, but Chanyeol walks nonetheless. The


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footsteps he leaves behind disappear almostimmediately with the incoming waves. Some staylonger than others though, because they're paved indeeper. Its funny how Chanyeol's traces tell of the

people he has encountered in his life - some fadeaway quickly and others stay a bit longer.

Baekhyun doesnt fade though. Baekhyun doesnt goaway no matter how many times Chanyeol writes hisname in the sand and watches the ocean sweep itaway. When things get hard to bear, Chanyeol comesdown to the shore and writes out his feelings in thesand, watches the sea drink up his pain. But eventhough the pang of grief disappears slowly over time,the very essence of Baekhyun still remains.

Popping open a clear glass bottle, Chanyeol crouchesdown in the sand, takes out a paper and pen, andstarts to write. The words dont flow and his

handwriting still isnt perfect after all the letters heswritten already, but when he finishes, he slides itthrough the slim hole anyway because he knowsBaekhyun wont mind. And just in case its too brightup in heaven to read, Chanyeol ties his voice to theside, wraps the cassette tape with wax paper, anddrifts it away in the sea.

To the one who left me behind,

Byun Baekhyun, the ink in my pen is slowly dyingout. I guess I've been writing to you a lot these pastfew days. Yesterday, I thought a lot about what Ishould write in this letter because its the first letter


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Ill be sending to you, but I couldnt think ofanything. I just want you back, Baekhyun.

Theres so much I have left to say, so much I have left

to do with you. I still want to love you - today, morethan yesterday, and tomorrow, more than today. Iwant to live every day with you in my heart, eachtime I walk down this sandy road. So I'll walk this forthe both of us.

Baekhyun, youve been leaving footprints in my heartsince the day we met; please don't stop now. Stay

until youve covered every inch of my heart withyour footprints, until the rocks in my heart crumbleunder your feet and turn into sand - and whentheres nowhere else left to walk, just stay there inplace and be by my side. Because I wrote your namein the sand, Baekhyun. And I watched it fade away.But I'm not like the sand. I can't forget you.

Sometimes, I wonder if you came into my life to feedme pieces of your own - to show me how living isdone, to break me a piece of your heart and soulevery day, every time. Are you gone because youvefed me so much that nothing remains in you anylonger?

Im really sorry, Baekhyun. Im sorry for the yearsIve spent with my head in my hands. Because if Icould give you half of what Ive lived so far, or half ofwhat I have left, I would do so in a heartbeat. Ifanyone deserves to live, Baekhyun, its you.

Maybe one day, when theres finally an end to it all,Ill be able to meet you again - join you where youare, tell you everything I havent been able to tell you


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so far. One day, Ill be able to tell you how big of amilestone you w ere in my life, tell you I missed youover and over again until my knees feel weak andyou hold me in your arms again. But for right now, Ill

just hold my place here, keeping your cold spot warmbecause I know itll be filled again.

Baekhyun I miss you. I miss you a lot. Butsometimes, thats okay too, right?

Itll be alright. Down here, and up there where youare too. Well be alright.

I just hope you know how much I love you,Baekhyun. These words arent enough - our timewasnt enough. Even my time wont ever be enoughto express everything.

But Ill say it a thousand times more if I need to.

Baekhyun, I love you.

Today, tomorrow, and the days after that.

I love you Baekhyun,

forevermore.

Documents

The Things You'Ve Left Behind