Troubled Marriages

8/3/2019 Troubled Marriages

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FinalReportTroubledMarriagesintheSikhCommunityinCanada

RegionofPeelMarch1,2010

By:

Principal Researchers

Baldev Mutta

Amandeep Kaur

Dipika Patel

11730 Airport Road, Brampton, ON, L6R 0C7905.790.0808

[email protected]


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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

This report is the product of sustained efforts of the Punjabi Community Health Services which

decided to initiate the research on troubled marriages in Sikh community. The research has

benefited from the expertise and efforts of a large number of individuals and organizations in the

Region of Peel and Toronto. The women and men who participated in the research study needs

to be specially thanked for providing the research team their personal and sensitive information.

Without their support and contribution, this research wouldnt have been possible. We are

thankful to all those who strongly believed in this initiative and worked with us to address the

concerns of women.

We are thankful to Mr. Baldev Mutta who conceived this project and created conditions for it to

be implemented. He made sure that the study was scientifically sound and would prove useful

information to persons and organizations working for and with women.

We are also thankful to Ms. Amandeep Kaur under whose supervision this report was completed.

Her timely suggestions, critique, and helpful hints contributed immensely towards the

completion of this report.

We are thankful to our volunteers who assisted in a variety of capacities to have this research

project completed.

We are thankful to all women and men who participated in this research study.


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Executive Summary

The research study titled Troubled Marriages in Sikh Community in Canada was an attempt

towards the development of a comprehensive service delivery system for this minority group to

tackle discrimination in their marriages. This internet based research is an exploratory study

taken with the objectives of determining the complex issues covering the marriage complications

in Sikh couples; study indicates many different issues and values for trouble marriages.

Research study was developed to identify the supportive recommendation, to discuss about the

different issues and to generate a momentum to talk about the issues in the community.

Methodology

The broad aims of the study are to gather and assess the availability of the evidence for the

community awareness

The first part of the research approach was to look at the informational pattern regardingthe culture and the community.

The research study involved Sikh community residing in Canada. The study comprisedparticipant who accepted to share their personal feelings about their relationship.

In-depth analysis encrypted to understand the issues and the problems related indissatisfaction of being married.

Definite patterns are seemed to involve in the broken marriages.Major Findings

The discrete analysis of the survey brings out the amazing results that are the major concern for

the married couples. The study analyse the fact, that majority of the participant were dissatisfied


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in their marriages and indentifies of being abuse in their relationship. Majority of participant

indicates too much of in-law interference as the biggest reason for the separation or divorce in

the marriages. Issues such as social and psychological abuse are also the major concern.

The detailed findings are complied in the report.

Major Recommendations

The study suggests the following actions to be implemented in the relationship:

Stop interference of the in-laws in the marriage life. Formal counselling by the Social Worker within the community i.e. Sikh Counsellor. (i.e.

due to language and culture barrier)

Time share, honesty and mutual understanding between the couples. Educating and spreading awareness about the abuse relations. Open mind to discuss the issues with opposite partner.

Outcome

The research study helped to identify the need to develop supportive mechanisms for Sikh

couples who experience difficulties in their married life.


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Survey Analysis:

Total of 120 people were participant in the survey. Out of which 62 were female and 58 weremale.

68 respondents were between ages of 31 to 50. The majority of the respondents were from Canada. The majority of the respondents were belonging to Sikh Religion. The majority of the respondents were married. The majority of the marriages were no inter-faith, inter-racial or same sex marriage. 55.6% of respondent were having problems in their married life. 54.5% were seeking informal counselling from priests, friends, relatives or elders. 45.5%

were under formal counselling.

Majority of 54.3% respondents were seeking problems dues to, too much of in-lawsinterferences and their spouse listening to their own family.

34.8% of the respondents experiencing physical violence in their relations. 37% of the respondents identify having too much of values differences in their relations. 30.4% of the respondents agree that their partner does not stand beside when accusations

are levelled against them.

67.6% of the respondents are separated and 65.1% seek informal counselling. 73.5% gets informal counselling by Parents, 64.7% by Relatives, 32.4% from Elders, 47.1%

from Friends and 23.5% from Work Colleagues.

77.8% demand to get counselling from Social Workers, 44.4% from Marriage counsellor andonly 16.7% from Psychologists.


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67.6% identifies that their spouse listening to own relatives as the major reason for theirseparation.

61.8% the violent abuse and 44.1% due to non- compatibility in the relation are the majorissues in their unsuccessful marriage.

95.2% identifies that the Sikh religion is the one among every religion were marriages fallapart.

83.8% identifies too much interference from the in-laws as the major reason for theirmarriage failure.

73.7% agrees that Physical abuse also failed their marriages. It is follow by 56.6% due toexternal affair, 61.65 due to addictions (alcohol or drugs) , 53.5% was marriage of convince

(i.e. married to come Canada)

76% of Sikh couples seek informal counselling. 83.1% from relatives, 62.7% from friends,44.6% from elders and 16.9% from family Physician

82.1% agrees to get formal counselling from Marriage counsellor, 60.7% by Social Worker. 87.1% prefers Sikh Counsellors over Mainstream counsellors. 92.2% suggest that spending time with spouses save marriages.


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Troubled Marriage in the Sikh Community in Canada

1. AreyouaSikh?

2. AreyouMaleorFemale?

3. Areyoubetweentheages?

0.00%

20.00%

40.00%

60.00%

80.00%

100.00%

Yes No

90.8%

9.2%

Male,

48.30%

Female

,

51.70%

0.00%

10.00%

20.00%

30.00%

40.00%

50.00%

60.00%

1830 3150 5171 Above71

57.1%

26.1

16.8


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4. AreyouresidinginCanada?

5. Areyoumarried,livingincommonlaw,orlivingtogether?

6. Wasthisanarrangemarriage?

0.00%

20.00%

40.00%

60.00%

80.00%

100.00%

Yes No

10.8%

89.2%

0.00%

20.00%

40.00%

60.00%

80.00%

100.00%

Yes No

83.9

10.8%

no

2%

Yes

98%


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7. IsthisanInterfaithmarriage?(betweentworeligion)

8. Isthisaninterracialmarriage?(betweentworaces)

9. Isthisasamesexmarriage?

0.00%

20.00%

40.00%

60.00%

80.00%

100.00%

yes no

Response

Perc

ent

89.9%

0.00%

20.00%

40.00%

60.00%

80.00%

100.00%

120.00%

yes noR

esponse

Percent

97.5%

0.00%

20.00%

40.00%

60.00%

80.00%

100.00%

120.00%

yes no

Respone

Percent

97.6%

10.1%

2.5%

2.4%


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10.Areyouexperiencingmarriageproblem?

11.Ifyes,areyouseekingmarriagecounselling?

12.Ifyes,areyouseekinginformalorformalcounselling?

Yes

55.6%

No

44.4%

0.00%

10.00%

20.00%

30.00%

40.00%

50.00%

60.00%

70.00%

Yes No

Respnse

Percent

35.2%

64.8%

40.00%

42.00%

44.00%46.00%

48.00%

50.00%

52.00%

54.00%

56.00%

infromal(Priest,friends,

relatives,elders)

Formal(SocialWorker,

marriagecounsellors,

psycologists,psychiatris)

54.5%

45.5%


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13.Areyou..................

14.Didyouseekinformalcounselling?

0.00%

10.00%

20.00%

30.00%

40.00%

50.00%

60.00%

70.00%

SeperatedDivorced

32.4%

0.00% 10.00% 20.00% 30.00% 40.00% 50.00% 60.00% 70.00%

Yes

No 34.9%

65.1%

67.6%


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15.Whatarethereasonsofyourmarriageproblems?

Spousedoesnot

standbesideme

when"accusations"

areleveledagainst

mebytherelatives,

47.10%

Spouselisteningtoown

parents,sistersor

brothers,67.60%

Spousebecomesviolent

afterdrinkingor

consumingdrugs,

35.30%

Spousesidingwith

children,38.20%

Spousehavingan

affair,32.40%

Spouse overwork,

17.60%

Spouseaway

from

home

formorethantwodays/

week,17.60%

Oneor both

spousesengagedin

shiftwork,20.60%

Spouse

addictedto

alcoholor

drugs,32.40%

Spousebecomesviolent

,61.80%

Toomuchofinlaws

interference,58.80%

Toomuchvalues

differencebetween

spouses,50%

Spousesnolonger

compatible,44.10%

marriageproblemsas

resultofImmigration

issuse,11.80% Spouse

demanding

drowy,

23.50%

Marriageof

convience,14.70%


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16.Whocounselledyouinformallyinitially?

17.Didyouseekformal(Professional)counselling?

18.Didyouseekformalcounsellingfrom..............?

0.00%

10.00%

20.00%

30.00%

40.00%

50.00%

60.00%

70.00%

80.00%

Parents Relatives Elders Friends Work

Colleagues

64.7%

32.4% 47.1%

23.5%

41.50%

58.50%

Yes No

Social

Worker

56%Marriage

Counsellor

32%

Psycholog

ist

12%

ChartTitle

73.5%


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19.Whatwerethereasonsforyouseparation/divorce?

Spousedoesnot

standbesideme

when

"accusations"are

leveledagainstme

bytherelatives

47.1%Spouselisteningtoown

parents,sistersor

brothers

67.6%

Spousebecomes

violentafterdrinkingor

consumingdrugs

35.3%

Spousesiding

with

children

38.2%

Spousehavingan

affair

32.4%

Spouse

overwork

17.6%

Spouseawayfrom

homeformorethan

twodays/week

17.6%

Oneor bothspouses

engagedinshiftwork

20.6%

Spouse

addictedto

alcohol

or

drugs

32.4%

Spousebecomes

violent

61.8%

Toomuchofinlaws

interference

58.8%

Toomuchvalues

differencebetween

spouses

50%

Spousesnolonger

compatible44.1%

marriageproblems

asresultof

Immigrationissuse

11.8%

Spousedemanding

drowy

23.5%

Marriageof

convience

14.7%


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20.Ineveryreligionmarriagefallapart,isthistruefortheSikhreligioninCanada?

21.Do

you

think

Sikh

couples

seek

informal

counselling?

22.Ifyes,fromwhom;

0.00% 20.00% 40.00% 60.00% 80.00% 100.00%

Yes

No

95.2%

4.8%

0% 20% 40% 60% 80%

Yes

No24.0%

76.0%

0% 20% 40% 60% 80% 100%

Priest

Elders

Relatives

friends

FamilyDoctors 16.9%

62.7%

83.1%

44.6%

12.0%


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23.WhatarethereasonsfortheFailedmarriages?

Spousebecome

violentafterdrinking

ortakingdrugs,

73.70%

Childrenarethe

sourcesofconflict

betweenspouses,

43.40%

Oneorbothspouses

havinganaffair,

56.60%

Oneor bothspouses

engagedinshift

work,52.50%

Spouseaway

fromhomefor

morethantwo

days/week,

35.40%

Oneorbothspouses

areoverworked no

timeforeachother,

38.40%

Spousesaddictedto

alcoholordrugs,

61.60%

Spouseisviolent

towardtheother,

60.60%

Toomuch

interferencefromIn

laws,83.80%

Valuedifference,

61.60%

Nolongercomatible,

46.50%

Immigrationissuse

arethemaon

contention,42.40%

Spouse

demanding

dowry,43.40%

Marriageof

covienence(

marriedto

come

Canada),

53.50%


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24.DoyouthinkSikhcouplesseekformalcounselling?

25.Ifyes,fromwhom?

26.WouldSikhcouplespreferaSikhmarriagecounsellorfromanothermainstreamcommunity?

0.00% 20.00% 40.00% 60.00% 80.00%

Yes

No 73.8%

26.2%

Marriage

Counselor,

82.10%

Social

Worker,

60.70%

Psycologist,

21.40%

Psychiatrist,

25.20%

Sikh

Counsellor,

87.10%

Mainstream

Counsellors,

12.90%


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27.Whatareyoursuggestionsforastrongmarriage?

spendtimewithyour

spouse,92.20%

Takecareofyour

spouse,82.50%

Berespectfultoyour

spouse,90.30%

Beresponsibleto

yourspouse,82.50%be

honest

to

your

spouse,90.30%

communicate

respectfullywith

yourspouse,89.30%

ForgiveandForgetto

yourspouse,74.80%

Tkecareofyour

childrenfirstand

foremost,74.80%

Stayintouchwith

yourreligion,74.80%


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Conclusion

On the basis of the study analysis following conclusion emerged

1. Developed the formal marriage counselling programs for Sikh couples.2.

Education and awareness programsa. Understanding the legal system

b. Understanding the social work systemc. Understanding the family involvement in the martial disputes.d. Understanding the importance of time-share as a vital code for healthy

relationship.


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Documents

Troubled Marriages