JUST A RACER?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Yeah dude, I’mtotally fucked up!

$$$$$$$$$

snow snow

When I was a kid, somewhere between the time when I got my firstskateboard and when I discovered that girls were cute, I was heavy into D&D. I think itwas all the cool drawings of dudes slaying dragons and all the other evil shit that existedso vividly in my fantasy Dungeons and Dragons world. I played with this dungeon mas-ter kid in my school named Bob Crapser (no shit!) and he hated the fact that I cheated myass off just so that I could woop ass all over the dark world. And I did so with recklessabandon. Dragons, ogres, witches, hydras, gargoyles, bunnies, whatever, I didn’t care.With a broad sword in one hand and a battle axe in the other blood spewed from anything

that moved. While I was punishing the underworld Le Force was my soundtrack. Ihad no idea at the time, but these were the sounds I heard in my head as I rode myheavy metal death train. With heavy guitars, rock solid drums, no bass and no lyricsto bog it down, Le Force’s blistering guitar licks kick more medieval ass then I couldhave ever imagined. Straight outta Salt Lake City, this is the kind of metal that comesfrom growing up under the thumb of a backward institution like the Church of LatterDay Saints. They gotta self released EP and a new full length on Wantage USA re-cords. Do not miss the live show when it comes to your town. www.le-force.com,

Heavy metal and politics? Hell yes!!! Punk rock awareness andheavy fucking metal combine to prove that all metal heads are not just jocks in hes-sians clothing. These guys are dead serious. I mean how many metal bands give adamn about the plight of the endangered great white shark, the injustices perpetratedagainst Native Americans, vegetarians that wear leather, or the atrocities of prisonlife? When these lyrics are put to Consume’s relentless speed/metal/power/crust/punk riffs and lightning fast drums (with absolutely no double bass drummer mastur-bation) you too will scream along in anger against the system. From right here in Se-attle comes some of the heaviest hitting metal I have ever heard. I’ve got two of theirseven inches, “Who’s the real Monster” and “Forked Tongue”. I know they haveother shit out and I guarantee it kicks more ass than any big label contract metal bull-shit. Definitely will not be found on KEXP’s play list.Consume 1916 Pike place, Suite 12 #719 Seattle, WA 98101-1097.

Wake up, time to make the donuts. Fuck, I gotta drive down tothe city today and pick up a bunch of shit for work. Maybe I can sneak in a lunchbreak skate session. Call the homies, it’s a go, afternoon pool session is the call. Per-fect, I can hit that Taco Truck on Rainier too. Gotta hit my least favorite shop on theway down for a king pin. “Robin you don’t sell just king pins?” “No.” “You don’teven sell Indy’s?” “No, but we have Indy t-shirts.” Fuck this place, on the way outthe door I see some Cosmo sized snowboard magazine resort guide, look up my fa-vorite spot… Great, some fucking corporate kook is blowing out my spot, I hatewhen people blow shit out!!! F#@$CK!!! My day is taking a turn for the worse.Back on the road, get a call from the big boss man.“Why haven’t you done this, why haven’t you donethat? Blah, blah blah.” “Cause you’re a dick, that’swhy!” Click. Yeah right, so I weasel my way out of atight one, I’m still employed, sweet. Turn on the radio,Colin

Powell resigns and the whole world hates my country more than ever! Great! Stillrollin’, bling bling, the celly rings again. It’s the editor!!! “When are you gonnabe done with your heavy metal article? I made you! Do I have to write this one too?We gotta have this done by bitch, bitch, BITCH.”... “I’m working on it, I’m workingon it. I’ll have it for you next week.I think I’m getting an idea for it right now.” WHOA! Look out for methed out truck-erstrying to run me over. Fuck it seems like they’re out to get me today. Get to the elec-trical supply store. “What do you mean you don’t have the part I ordered? You calledyesterday and told me it was in!” “Well you see, we gave it to some other guy becauseblah, blah, blah we’ll have a new one for you tomorrow.” Tomorrow!?!? F@%#$@CK!!! This day fucking sucks! I’m going skating. Jump on the I-5…SCREEECH! Gridlock. F@&*CK!!! This day is insane!!! There is only one thingto do, hit up some Totalitar, crank it. I thought I was pissed off, these guys arereally FUCKING pissed off. I don’t know what the hell these Norse-metal rockersare talking about but whatever it is I like it! Poach the carpool lane, all right, nowwe’re moving. Next thing I know I’m sneaking in the back yard right as the homiesare drying out the last wet spot in the pool, I jury-rig my truck with an old kingpin andit’s on! -

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$