Warm upWarm up Sep 12thSep 12thWhat do you think you What do you think you could do to improve could do to improve communication with the communication with the person you struggle to person you struggle to get along with? get along with?

Warm up Warm up Sep 10thSep 10th

Who do you have the Who do you have the hardest time getting hardest time getting along with? Why do you along with? Why do you think you have such a think you have such a hard time getting along hard time getting along with that person?with that person?

CommunicationCommunication

Child-LikeChild-LikeThis style of communication This style of communication is the is the easiesteasiest and most and most naturalnatural to use. It is also very to use. It is also very immatureimmature and the and the least least effectiveeffective method of method of communication when you communication when you are an adult. are an adult.

It is characterized by:It is characterized by:--Self-Centered MotivesSelf-Centered Motives -Verbal Abuse-Verbal Abuse--Giving OrdersGiving Orders -Not Listening-Not Listening--WhiningWhining -Interrupting-Interrupting--Name CallingName Calling -Topping-Topping--YellingYelling -Throwing -Throwing

TantrumsTantrums--Acting Out of Control Acting Out of Control

Parent-LikeParent-Like This style of communication has This style of communication has

nothing to do with age or being the nothing to do with age or being the mother or father. In fact, two-year-mother or father. In fact, two-year-olds are very good at this. It is the olds are very good at this. It is the mode of communication that directs mode of communication that directs others’ behaviors. It is effective in others’ behaviors. It is effective in that you usually get someone to that you usually get someone to comply or act a certain way, but it is a comply or act a certain way, but it is a one-wayone-way or dictatorial communication. or dictatorial communication.

It is characterized by: It is characterized by: -Giving Instructions-Giving Instructions-Demanding-Demanding-Directing-Directing-Ordering-Ordering-Punishing-Punishing

This style of communication gets the This style of communication gets the point across and affects the behavior point across and affects the behavior of others. It is commonly used to deal of others. It is commonly used to deal with someone who is communicating with someone who is communicating as a child. Teens want to be treated as a child. Teens want to be treated as adults, but when they resort to as adults, but when they resort to child-like communication techniques, child-like communication techniques, others around them resort to using others around them resort to using parent techniques. parent techniques.

Adult-LikeAdult-LikeThis style of This style of communication is the communication is the highest levelhighest level and is the and is the mostmost desirabledesirable and and effectiveeffective. .

It is characterized It is characterized by:by:

-The desire for open, two-way communication-The desire for open, two-way communication-Taking responsibility for comments and actions-Taking responsibility for comments and actions--Remaining calmRemaining calm--Showing respect for other’s feelings and Showing respect for other’s feelings and

opinionsopinions--Wanting to resolve problems with a win-win Wanting to resolve problems with a win-win

attitudeattitude--Having trust in othersHaving trust in others--Controlling emotions while discussingControlling emotions while discussing

CommunicatCommunication ion

TechniquesTechniques

There are 3 types of There are 3 types of communication:communication:

ConstructiveConstructiveDestructiveDestructiveNon-verbalNon-verbal

Constructive Constructive CommunicationCommunication

This contributes to a This contributes to a meaningful meaningful exchange of ideas exchange of ideas and/or leads to and/or leads to understanding. understanding.

Examples are: Examples are: -Giving positive or encouraging messages-Giving positive or encouraging messages-Asking questions-Asking questions-Sending clear, concise messages-Sending clear, concise messages-Being honest and open-Being honest and open-Keeping the confidences of other people-Keeping the confidences of other people-Speaking with respect-Speaking with respect-Using tact- (communicating something -Using tact- (communicating something

sensitive without hurting or offending)sensitive without hurting or offending)-Being a good listener-Being a good listener

Destructive Destructive CommunicationCommunication

This is talk that “hurts.” This is talk that “hurts.” Some messages Some messages discourage rather than discourage rather than encourage helpful or encourage helpful or constructive constructive communication. communication.

Examples are:Examples are:--Insults, harassing, teasingInsults, harassing, teasing-Gossip, lies, blaming and accusing-Gossip, lies, blaming and accusing-“You” messages-“You” messages-Sexual Harassment-Sexual Harassment-Threatening-Threatening-Sarcasm- (when a person says one -Sarcasm- (when a person says one

message, but nonverbal expressions and message, but nonverbal expressions and the tone of voice send another message)the tone of voice send another message)

-Interrupting or dominating the conversation-Interrupting or dominating the conversation-Swearing-Swearing

Non-Verbal:Non-Verbal: Nonverbal communication is the way Nonverbal communication is the way

a person expresses him/herself a person expresses him/herself through through movementmovement, , postureposture, and , and facialfacial expression. It is possible to expression. It is possible to send one type of verbal message and send one type of verbal message and at the same time, a different type at the same time, a different type with body language. Nonverbal with body language. Nonverbal communication is communication is VERY VERY powerfulpowerful and and can often be misinterpretedcan often be misinterpreted. .

What are some What are some examples of examples of non-verbal non-verbal

communication? communication?

Communication Tip #1Communication Tip #1Use “I” messages! Use “I” messages! - - I feelI feel ~ makes you responsible ~ makes you responsible

for the statementfor the statement- WhenWhen ~ Describes the situation ~ Describes the situation- BecauseBecause ~ tells why you feel the ~ tells why you feel the

way you doway you do (This really works!! You should try it!) (This really works!! You should try it!)

Tip #2Tip #2Be clear Be clear

- Say what you - Say what you mean and mean mean and mean what you say! what you say!

Tip #3Tip #3Ask questions- If you are not clear on what

someone is saying….ASK QUESTIONS!!

- Restate what someone has said to make sure that you really did understand what they said. “S0 you are feeling sad because…”

Tip #4Tip #4Be a good listener Be a good listener

- Studies indicate that 60 - Studies indicate that 60 percent of the time that you percent of the time that you communicate is spent communicate is spent listening! If you are a poor listening! If you are a poor listener you are a poor listener you are a poor communicator.communicator.

How can you let How can you let people know people know you are you are listening?listening?