WELCOME to Seminar 8: Revising the Essay Its SHOWTIME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Welcome to Seminar #8: Revising the Essay Unit 8 Work 1.If you haven't already done so, get your draft to me ASAP. 2.Remember your message board postings are part of your grade. 3.All late work must be turned in IMMEDIATELY. The quarter is almost over! Final essays and all work is due on time and no later than midnight Tuesday (January 17). Do not be late!!!!! Unit 8 Work This is a light week! You only have: One Discussion question! Continue to work on your essays! Also, make this a formal essay. Do not use first person (I, me, my, we, us, our) unless your have conducted an experiment or are using a personal example. Do not use second person (you, your). If you have a specific question,me. Are there any questions so far? Remember. Giving Feedback Peer review allows you to give and receive feedback on the ideas you've generated so far. The keys to successful peer review are: (1) Open, honest critique -- you should not be mean or rude, but you should constructively critique your peer's work. Telling someone "I wouldn't change a thing" gives them no ideas and, therefore, is no help. (2) Posting your documents for others to review AND reviewing others' documents ON TIME! A critique sent two weeks after the paper was turned in for a grade is worthless. Receiving Feedback None of us like to be shown our errors, particularly by those who are our peers. However, in order for this exercise to help, you must be open to receiving advice. Keep in mind that whether or not you agree with the critique of your paper, your partner is just trying to be helpful to the best of his or her ability. Dont take it personally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is revising? Revising Revising means "seeing again." This is the part of the writing process where you make sure that your paper says exactly what you want it to say. Doing so will probably involve rewriting parts of it. Why should you revise? According to author Somerset Maugham, "Only a mediocre writer is always at his best." Writer Ernest Hemingway put it more pointedly, "The first draft of anything is sh--." What do you do after you are done writing your rough draft? COOL DOWN! When you are finished with your first draft, put your writing aside for minutes (over night is even better!). Walk away, and then come back and reread your essay. You will see your work differently after a cooling down period. How to Revise I.Reread the directions for the paper. Ask yourself the following questions: 1. Have you fulfilled all the requirements? 2. Do you have the correct number of pages? Many times students lose points because their essays do not meet the required number of pages. 3. Do you have the correct number of sources (if any)? Do you have the specific types of sources? 4. Have you completed the assignment? For example, if the assignment is an informative paper, is that what you have written? II. Read the paper. Read it out loud. Have a friend read it. Try reading your essay out loud. If you have never tried it, you are likely to be surprised at how valuable this can be. Listen to the construction of your sentences. Are they clear and readable? Do they say what you want them to say? How would they sound to a reader? By reading out loud, you will often HEAR a mistake or a clumsy construction in your writing that has escaped your eye in silent reading. When grading, I often read your essays out loud. Fortunately, my dogs don't mind. : ) When reading your paper, ask yourself the following questions: 1. Does the introduction grab attention? 2. Is the thesis statement clearly identifiable? Can you point to it? If you can't, the reader won't be able to either. Does the thesis statement make a point? 3. Have you stuck to the topic? Have you stuck to the point you are trying to make? 4. Do the rest of the paragraphs support or prove your thesis? 5. Do the sentences and paragraphs flow? Do you need to move a sentence or paragraph to provide greater organization or clarity? 6. Does the paper make sense? Can the reader follow your ideas? 7. Do you need to add or remove anything? Do you need to change a word or phrase or add examples? 8. Does the paper conclude on a strong point? Any questions so far? Other Things to Do When Revising 1. Eliminate Unrelated Details Ask yourself: "What should I cut?" Extra words, repeated ideas, and unnecessary material find their way into a typical first draft. Every writer cuts during revision. Thomas Jefferson, the author of the Declaration of Independence and many other writings, stated: "The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do." Stephen King, who earns millions of dollars each year as a professional writer, cuts words from his writing during his revision process. The chances are you need to cut, also. Ask yourself if you have you been redundant (repetitive). Avoid unnecessary repetition: making the same point without new data or interpretation. Dr. Seuss said it best: It has often been said there's so much to be read you never can cram all those thoughts in your head. So the writer who breeds more words than he needs is making a chore for the reader who reads. That's why my belief is the briefer the brief is the greater the sigh of the reader's relief is. (Theodore Geisel) Writers don't like to take things out of their papers. Author Thomas Wolfe described the pain of deleting or eliminating parts of what he had written: "What I had to face, the very bitter lesson that everyone who wants to write has got to learn, was that a thing may in itself be the finest piece of writing one has ever done, and yet have absolutely no place in the manuscript one hopes to publish." 2. Add in Missing Details Ask yourself: "What should I add?" Review your paper to make sure that you have adequate details to make your point. Add fuller explanations and examples, or do some extra research to improve the skimpy parts of your paper. 3. Make Sentences Clear & Understandable Are all of your sentences clear? If you stumble over a bad sentence, begin again and rewrite it in a new way. There are a dozen ways to write one sentence. Ask yourself if there is enough variety in your sentence structure. Vary the length and type of your sentences. Try to write not only simple sentences, but also compound and complex sentences. [In plain English, that means to write some short sentences and some long sentences. LOL] Variety is the spice of life! Vary the length of your paragraphs. The general rule is to begin a new paragraph every time you change the subject. However, research has shown that readers prefer shorter paragraphs to longer, so if your paragraphs are long, look for a place to divide them. Avoid short paragraphs of one or two sentences, which are common in advertising and newspaper writing to get the reader's attention but are inappropriate in a thoughtful essay. However, also avoid having paragraphs that are too long. Variety in sentences and paragraphs makes your writing more interesting to read. Do not sacrifice clarity for variety, however, by writing odd or unclear sentences. 4. Avoid Vagueness Have you used adequate detail and provided concrete examples? Make sure that your wording is exact, that you use words that are accurate and specific. Avoid vague and general words and phrases. For example: Her ATTITUDE caused a LOT OF PROBLEMS with customers. What "attitude" did she have? What is meant by the word "problems"? How many problems are "a lot"? Substituting more specific words creates a much clearer picture. For example: "Her temper generated a dozen customer complaints." 5. Avoid Bias Even if you're writing a persuasive paper, you must still be fair and honest. To the best of your ability, present accurate information. You're entitled to articulate your opinion, but do it without trying to manipulate the reader. Avoid exaggeration or stridency (being loud, harsh, grating, shrill, or discordant), which can create suspicion of your fairness and powers of observation. Delete all cheerleading, slogans, clichs, needless repetition, and exhortations. You are not writing a political speech. In general, use a formal, rational style in an academic paper. Use emotional language and examples that arouse feelings only where appropriate to back up logical argument. 6. Verify Accuracy 7. Polish Introductions and Conclusions 8. Check your words. Make sure you've used the best words for the meaning you're trying to convey. Think about your words. Are there words that would more accurately express your meaning? Changing a word can make a world of difference. As author Mark Twain said, "The difference between the right word and the wrong word is the difference between the lightning and the lightning-bug." Choose the right words because words have power. The impact of your writing depends greatly upon the words you choose to express your ideas. Using words precisely can make or break your writing. For example, a student wrote a very serious essay about alcoholism and how it can destroy families. The seriousness of the essay was not enhanced by this sentence: "My brother and I sat up all night CONSTIPATING whether or not to have our father committed to a facility for alcoholics." Recently one of my friend's students asked her for her CRUDENTIALS instead of credentials. Using the wrong word detracts from your credibility. Learning to use commonly confused or misused words correctly is essential. Learn to use a dictionary. Don't have your professional writing dismissed because of incorrect words. Also ask yourself: Have I avoided sexist language or used plural pronouns with singular nouns? For example, "a child" can not be referred to as "they" or "them" or "their." A child is one individual and must be referred to as "he or she." To avoid the "he or she" problem, use plural nouns such as "children" or "people." Write in Plain Standard American English Have you used Standard American English? Your paper won't work if your writer can't understand what you mean. Delete all words that create a conversational or informal tone in your papers. Make sure that most of the paper is written in your own words. If you find that you have too many quotes, eliminate, paraphrase, or summarize. Remember what author Herman Melville said: "It is better to fail in originality, than to succeed in imitation." Make sure you've used quotation marks when you used someone else's exact words. Make sure you have in-text citations for quotes, paraphrases, and summaries. When your are satisfied that your essay says what you want it to say in the way you want it said, then and only then are you ready to edit. What do you do when you edit? Edit for spelling, punctuation, capitalization, and grammar. Is your paper free of fragments and run-ons? Do subjects and verbs agree? Do nouns and pronouns match in number? Are modifiers clearly placed? Are there awkward shifts from first to third person or from past to present tense? Are the rules of spelling, capitalization, and punctuation followed? Use your spell and grammar check, but remember that you MUST read your work before making changes that the computer suggests. Microsoft Word is often incorrect with regards to grammar. Also, the computer will not pick up the fact that you used "send" instead of "sent" since both are spelled correctly. Edit Words: Have you chosen the correct word? Do you want accept or "except? Their, there, or they're? Than or then? Is your word choice suitable for your subject and audience? Do some of your words have connotations that may weaken your paper or offend readers? For example, "cheap" has a different connotation than "inexpensive." Are your words repetitious? Do you use the same words over and over? Do you use trite, over-used expressions or slang? Are your expressions too informal? Edit Format: Have you followed the prescribed format, using 12 point font and not used bold type. Have you double-spaced the entire paper? If you have left extra lines between paragraphs, eliminate those lines. Do you have a title page with your name on it? Is your title page in 12 point font and NOT in bold type? Are pages properly numbered with a running header? Do you have a reference page? Is it double-spaced? Do the references have hanging indents? Are the references in alphabetical order? Are they in APA format? Edit Details Are names, dates, and quotes accurate? Are facts and statistics clearly stated? Do the in-text citations match the reference page? General Points 1. Be careful of your point of view. If your essay is in third person (he, she, it, the dog, etc.), don't switch point of view (I, you) unless there is a valid reason. 2. Don't pad. This point should be obvious; the word pad suggests the addition of unnecessary material. Many writers find it tempting, however, to enlarge a discussion even when they have little more to say. 3. Be careful of absolute generalizations (all, every, never). Consider the possibility that there may be at least one example that will weaken the generalization 4. Read your essay critically. Does your argument make sense? Are there any holes? 5. Strive for unity. A unified paper stays focused on its goal and directs each claim and piece of evidence toward that goal. Extraneous information or unsupported claims impair unity. 6. Strive for coherence. Coherence means that all ideas are fully explained and adequately connected by transitions. To ensure coherence, give especially close attention to the beginning and ends of your paragraphs. Is each new concept introduced in a way that shows it following naturally from the one that preceded it? Keep up the GOOD work! Just wanted to tell everyone to keep up the good work! The End is almost here!! You can do it!!! Give yourselves a ROUND OF APPLAUSE! Time to Go! Questions? Questions? Concerns? Concerns? Comments? Comments? Please let me know how I can help? Have a Great Week!