What are "Millions of Benefits" of Idol Worship

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A humorous look at Idol worship, in Indian society, as posted on thread "No Muslim can Profane the Name of Prophet" on TOPIX.


<p>Some of the "Millions of Benefits" of Idol Worship!!</p> <p>Preface In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most merciful. It was on the thread "No Muslim can profane the name of Prophet of Islam" of TOPIX, where I got engaged in discussion with some of our Hindu Friends on the topic of idol Worship. It was strange to see people trying to give "justification" about Idol Worship in this age. I tried all logic and reason and referred them to the views of Swami DAYANANDA SARASWATI , the founder of Arya Samaj as recorded in his famous book SATYARTHA PRAKASH, but the more arguments I gave, the more stubborn they became. So I tried to change the tactic and wrote this monograph showing the "benefits" of idol worship from a humorist point of view. How far I was successful in this, I leave the readers to decide. But my aim was not to hurt the feelings of any one, but for people to see, how much unreasonable is for people not to see their mistake in continuing this practice. The examples might seen hilarious but most of them do happen with regularity in daily life of India and are not very far fetched. If some one is able to find out true worth of Idol Worship by reading this article, I would feel that my purpose is met. I seek forgiveness from Allah, if I have knowingly hurt sentiments of any particular person. M.U. Qidwai Jubail Jan 2013</p> <p>Some of the Millions of Benefits of Idol Worship (TARK or KUTARK? You decide) Part-1A. Introduction: a. It is pity that our Hindu Brothers adopt Cow like and Inferiority complex filled response to justify their Idol Worship. They bleat like goats trying to prove Muslims also perform Idol worship by bowing towards Kaaba and Kissing that Black Stone fixed in Kaaba. I feel they are doing themselves injustice; they should come out with Clean Faces saying We Invented Idol Worship and brought it to that level where no one in the world can match us!! b. We are unquestioned leader holding banner of Idol Worship in the World. When every other religion has renegaded and turned its back on Idol worship, we Hindus have kept the flag of Idol worship flying with full fervor. c. Why continue to perform Idol Worship? It has so many benefits and has bestowed so many blessings on our country that we cannot even imagine to live without it. d. While it is true that some of our Inferior Scholars like Swami DAYANANDA and some of his poorly guided disciples spoke against Idol worship and even broke up a few idols, the majority of our Most Eminent Scholars are unanimous that Idol Worship is what is allowed and justified by our Oldest Scriptures. B. India, an Ideal Country for Idol Worship: Our gods when they created the world selected a land which was to be their permanent residence. That was the land of India!! The very shape of India is like a tall graceful woman (wrong, the length and breadth of AKHAND BHARAT are just equal, it would be a very poorly shaped woman, like a Sumo Wrestler!! Unless of course we chisel off Pakistan, Bangladesh, Nepal, NE states- MUQ), Holding a Tricolor (to show that NE is also part of India- MUQ) It is protected from two sides with Oceans and no enemy can come from that side (Obviously our gods had forgotten about Britishers that would invade India many centuries later- MUQ). Himalaya Mountain separates it from these cursed Chinese. New Races come to India from North side and their exit is from Burma to Indo China region.</p> <p>Many races including our Aryans forefathers came from that side and made India permanent habitat for our gods and idols. When any barbarian race invaded India, after some time, it was trapped into Idol worship (True, since they were not civilized and had no religion of their own MUQ) Mountains, Rivers, agriculture, fruits, cows, goats, monkeys, snakes, (Scorpions, Mosquitoes, Flies too MUQ) India was almost self sufficient in every need and that is ideal atmosphere where Idol worship can take roots. C. Feeble attempts to stop Idol Worship: e. There was NEVER a period in Indian history, Vedic or Post or Pre Vedic when India was not a country filled with Idols and Idol Worshippers. f. It were those cursed Buddhists and Janis's that tried to break our monopoly on Idol Worship and turned Indians away from Idol Worship, but soon we overcame that hurdle and banished Buddhists and Buddhism away from Indian boundaries. All their VIHARS and STUPAS vanished from India and transformed into Idol filled Temples. In fact it was a Miracle from some of our gods; we do not know which one though. Needless to say that not a single drop of blood was shed in the whole process .we Hindus are so much against blood sacrifice, you know. D. Darkness Engulfs India: g. Our Idol worship was hampered when feet of these cursed Muslims touched the ground of our beautiful and peaceful country, a handful of these savages and barbarians turned our peaceful country into virtual hell. They defeated our very large armies and ruled over our country. We are sad to say that it was mistake and oversight of our gods. If they would have sealed off that hole in KHYBER PASS how could these barbarians and savages reach India (Oh, what a logic- MUQ) h. If only all Hindus had united and fought like One Army and defeated those Savages and Barbarians from our lands, India would still be a country filled with idols and idols every where (as if it is not now- MUQ). Some Stupid historians say that our defeat was due to the fact that there was nothing like a United Hindu army in those days, and India consisted of thousands of small kingdoms each worshipping their own idols, needless to say that these historians are stupid and funded by either Communists or these Barbarians and savages.</p> <p>Main reason is that our Forefathers of the time, never thought about it, otherwise the task would have been like a piece of cake (and we did not know what is cake in those daysthat is another problem MUQ) They killed 80 or 800 or 8000 millions (depends on which group of Hindu Extremist Organization you belong to- MUQ) of our brothers in their misrule of 800-1000 years. h. They broke our idols, they burnt our Universities, tore our scriptures, killed our cows, goat and monkeys, ate our babies (oops I got carried away MUQ), and we could not do any thing but weep and weep like old ladies. How we could unite and fight these handful Muslims? i. Those Barbarians could not even construct their own places of worship; they just occupied our temples and turned them into their mosques. Even today 3, 000 to 30, 000 to 300,000 (again it belongs to which Extremist Hindu Organization you belong to MUQ) temples are still being used as mosques. We will not rest until we convert them back into temples and fill them with Idols of our own choice E. Hindus Saved at last: k. It was our good luck that our Saviors came in the form of Britishers; they broke the Chain of our bondage and paid these cursed Muslim in their own coin. And we were free to do our Idol Worship once again without any interference from the Top. l. We thought that we had done with these Cursed Muslims when India was portioned, we imagined that all Muslims will go to Pakistan and India will once again will become Hindu Rashtra as if was for thousands of years before these cursed Muslims came here. m. But we were surprised that our Political Leaders had made a mess once again and a sizable numbers (many hundred of millions to be exact- MUQ) were still left to soil our holy soil. We expected at least that these Muslims will stay put and allowed themselves to be killed like cows and goats (as we were dealt by their forefathers- MUQ) and at least will not have nerve to speak against our Idol Worship.</p> <p>n. But we were surprised once again when these cursed Muslims started speaking against our Idol Worship and started ridiculing us, instead of being ashamed of their stupid Monotheism and worshipping a God without any form!! Did they not see that our Idols had defeated their Formless God and we kicked their ass in the wars which we fought? What else was at stake? Our idols against their Formless God o. Has any one ever heard of any one god without any form? Is he a Gas or Vapour? How can such a weirdo think or plan or execute any thing? He has no eyes, no ears, no hands and even no brain!! Only people without brain can be attracted to such a weird looking god (provided they can see Gas or Vapour- MUQ) What a stupid Idea? How can one worship someone or some thing that he cannot visualize? It is the most stupid idea that one can think of. p. And we are surprised once more that many of our Religious Scholars instead of attacking these Muslims against their formless god, started to convince them and us that Muslims also perform Idol Worship too!! What a weaklings these Apologizers are. We need people like THACKREY, TOGARIA, MODI and RSS and BAJRANGDAL who just start abusing and insulting and use force against these followers of Formless god, what right they have to question our Idol Worship? Did we question their Formless god worshipping in past 1200 years? And why should we stop Idol Worship? It has more benefits than one can think of and it is time that we educate these Savages and some of our brothers who have doubts about the benefits of Idol worship and try to convince themselves and others that Idol worship is a sort of formless worship (pardon me, if you did not understand it, I also could not understand it, I in fact borrowed it from Trinitarians, people who worship One God in Three Persons, each one of them being God, but there is One God- MUQ) That is why I have taken by pen (I mean computer key board- MUQ) and list out so many benefits of Idol Worship, that I can think of.</p> <p>A. Idol Worship and Freedom of Thought and Expression1. It is Idol Worship which gives us Freedom of Thought. We design our gods ourselves instead of some one from above preventing us to only worship a formless God. 2. Is it not marvelous that we came up with so many ideas and ingenuinity that every one is wondering at our genius!! These Formless God worshippers are so dumb that they cannot even decode what these (horrible- MUQ) shapes represent. 3. For example that Inhuman form with four heads represents Creator who is seeing in all Four Directions!! (what about Up and Down Directions ?- MUQ) Well some one could come up with another six headed figure that has one head on top and one under the feet!! That is the beauty when you have full freedom. There is no restriction on your thinking (most of those SCI-FI writers got brain waves after a tour to our temples and caves (especially in KHAJURAJHO and AJANTA and ELORA- MUQ) 4. And another with eight hands hold Eight Powers that are allotted to that god (why only Eight -MUQ?) Do not ask dumb Questions, if it is Proven from Scripture that this god had more than eight powers or weapons we could add some more arms in their next incarnation, right? 5. And one with moon and snake hanging around denotes beauty and death at the same time (it was lucky that no one knew that Moon is such a heavy round object when they designed that god- MUQ). 6. And then that object with genitals of men and woman, well that was a real genius and deserved Nobel Prize for the designer!! It picturised the act of Creation, what a great stroke of genius!! And when women sit on that object, they get fertilized right away. How these goons would understand these Finer points!! 7. And we have made each and every object into some form of god or another, we have Elephant god, we have Monkey god, we have Snake god and of course the Cow is god personified. 8. And we have gods in the shape of male and female and child and old men so there is no limitation on our imaginations and it provides real freedom. 9. And then it is not the end, there is always room for new gods and new designs and new ideas. Gods like SANTOSHI MATA could come after success of one Film and then fade away from where they came from. And if some one is not satisfied with these stone and picture gods that do not move, we have many living gods too. There is no shortage of these Human gods SAI BABA</p> <p>and RAJNEESH and every one who knows tricks of the field can claim to be god and they are accepted by folks and showered with money and gifts and wealth. Gandhi, and Sachin and Big B and Aishwarya Rai and so many else in line to become future gods. And we are indeed sorry that some of our weaker sections (the ones whom we cursed and rejected as Hindus- MUQ) have taken up Ambedkar, Kanshi Ram and even Mayawati as gods (This is always the problem when you open the gate- MUQ). If there were no issues like Election and Mandal Commission, we would have cleared our blessed lands with these false gods but we Know when to keep our mouth shut and see which side of the bread is buttered. Right now our target is these cursed Muslims. 10. And those dumb Formless God Worshippers? They are real dumb. They bow down to the same God every time, to the end of their life. They do not realize the Joy which Idol worship gives us. We worship one god in the morning another in the evening and another in the night, and next day we change the position and third day we get new gods to replace all of them The fun never stops. 11. If we fell disgusted with one god (for not granting our wishes as happens in so many films- MUQ) , we can always throw him or her in the dustbin and get another in its place. 12. However most of us keep and worship as many gods as we can and we are nor sure when any one of them turn against us and harm us. So we want to stay on the safe side of every god. And what is strange that many of our folks and worship on the graves of so called saints of these Cursed Formless God followers. What could be more disgusting? Once we get our Hindu Rashtra, we will remove all these graves as we will remove all these cursed mosques which are eyesore on our Beautiful India and remind us of Somenath and Ram Birthplace and Krishna and KASHI temple every time we look at it. Minarets in Hindu India? No one saw any one 1400 years back, why they should see it now (What about those sky scrappers- no one saw those either 1400 years back? MUQ) Considering all in all, Idol Worship provides us true freedom to design our god, pick and choose which one We want and makes our lives lively.</p> <p>B. Mode of Transports of our gods, oh what a Stroke of Genius and Choice!!:13. Just like the freedom given to us is designing our gods, we get the same freedom to choose their transports. I doubt any other nation or religion gave that much thought to satisfy the transportation need of their gods and goddesses as we Hindus did. Here are a few examples. 14. One of our gods, who is supposed to take care of Welfare and Well-being of all concerned, is always reclining in a great ocean with a bed formed of a Big Snake (not Big B you stupid, Big S - MUQ) , Who could think the Idea of Snake as a Couch? We did it and we demand applause from the audience!! (actually that god is slee...</p>


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