Yours, Mine ,Ours or Not?

THE SCIENCE OF CUSTODYHeather McDonnell

Sarah Lawrence College

The Obligation to Pay for College Gamete One

meets Gamete Two

Somewhere, someplace, somehow

Two gametes join and become one chromosome….

Occurs Gamete One does

not need to be married to Gamete Two for this obligation or chromosome to be created

At the Moment of Conception Gamete One can

be the same as Gamete Two.

How both joined to become one is irrelevant.

IT’S YOUR chromosome.

Definition of Parent Has nothing to do with marriage Has nothing to do with more than

50% support Has nothing to do with

relationships other than the one each parent has with the student

Has everything to do with your child’s future

Parent?

Catalog 12345 Specimen 456Ethiopian architect 6’5”

However…..

Some things don’t last

Homeless Youth 1.7 million youth between ages 13-

17 experience at least one episode of homelessness. Runaways Transitory UnaccompaniedUnaccompanied Street dependent

Homeless Youth Unaccompanied youth

Frequents a safe harbor Night shelter Food line/soup kitchen Shelter services

All are easily documented

Homeless Youth Runaways Transitory Street dependent

Not so easy to document…..

Circumstances change

Not all relationships make it…

Not all families make it either…

The Obligation

Does Last…..

When Life Changes The obligation

must be understood by both parents.

This obligation is expected to be met when considering college expenses.

The “UnParent” Is this person

really a “non” entity?

Is there contact? Is there money

exchanged? Is there

participation in school activities?

The Ability to Pay

Same formula as the other parent Same expectation to contribute

Same kid, different address Supplement the complete family’s

ability to pay for college expenses

The Inability to Pay

Low or lost income Other obligations

New family

Whereabouts unknown……

Third Party Documentation

Unbiased and disinterested person attests to the lack of support and/or involvement

-someone who has nothing to gain by making such a statement

Δ How disinterested is a school or college counselor?

Willingness to Pay Part of the

decision to choose a college

Part of the discussion about going to college

The UnParent is partnered with student

Unwilling to Pay

Supplant available resources?

Divorce/separation residual

A “silent” partner?

Limited Resources

Colleges and universities do not have “spare” money

Our obligation is to get the money to the right student

Our commitment is to supplement the complete family’s ability to pay

Final Word

Each college and university reacts to the dynamic family circumstance with an eye on the total resources available for all students