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    Fifteen zombie plays page 1

    Scenes from

    the ZombieApocalypse

    Fifteen plays about zombiesfor you to perform

    (if you dare)

    By Kent Suss

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    Fifteen zombie plays page 2

    Authors note:

    These plays can be played any way you wish: as comedy, tragedy, social

    commentary, or gorefest. They can be done with hardly anything to

    distinguish the humans from the zombies, and with understated violence, or

    they can be played with lots of makeup, stage blood, and screaming. Its

    really up to you. Perform them alone or together, in any order you wish.

    In some scenes Ive written actual words the zombies say. In other places,

    they say things like Grrr and Hrrrgh! Its up to you to decide how to

    make your zombies speak. Can they speak clearly enough to be understood,

    or do they just speak in roars and grunts?

    Once youve tried out these scenes, why not make up your own scenariosabout zombies and take the story in a new direction? I hope working on

    these scenes inspires you to explore the exciting world of acting and writing,

    for theatre and film.

    Several of these scenes were first performed by students from Frontier

    School Division as part of the Royal Winnipeg Ballets Northern

    Connections exchange, June 2011. Others were made into short films by

    students in the Advanced Film class at Manitoba Theatre for Young People

    in Fall, 2011 and screened at the Freeze Frame Film Festival, Winnipeg,

    2012.

    These plays may be performed royalty free for class projects and non-profit

    events.

    Kent Suss 2012

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    Fifteen zombie plays page 3

    Cast of Characters:

    The zombie hunters:

    Jeremy Cares about his image, his lingo, his hair. Doesnt hate the zombies so much as

    hes disgusted by them.

    Ruby Courageous leader of the freedom fighters.

    Theo A really nice guy. Hes got room in his heart for the zombies.

    Sarah A science nerd who helps unravel the mystery of the zombies.

    Vaughn A chivalrous romantic, Vaughn cant get over Janet. The fact that shes a

    zombie doesnt matter.

    Dustin brags about how tough he is to hide his fear of the zombies.

    The adults:Hilda a lunch lady at the school cafeteria

    Sally another lunch lady

    Sarahs MomSarahs Grandma

    The Zombies:Theos mother

    Janet

    RonaldMany more

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    Scene Ten: The Antidote (3 performers)

    Location: the lab

    Characters: Sarah, Ruby, Jeremy(Sarah is looking through a microscope. Ruby and Jeremy watch anxiously.)

    RUBY

    Can you find a cure, Sarah?

    SARAH

    Its complicated. See these squirmy things?

    JEREMY

    (looking through the microscope) Ew! Gross!

    RUBY

    (stepping in) Let me see!

    SARAH

    The first Zombies were seen last Tuesday, right? Heres my theory. On Monday

    night the football team came straight to the school dance after practice. A defensivelineman left his bag open, and one of his socks was so putrid, it crawled out of his

    bag, across the dance floor. What youre looking at is a critter I call Stinky jock

    sock bacteria!

    RUBY

    Totally disgusting.

    SARAH

    Right. The escaped jock sock followed the smell of food to the cafeteria, where it

    attacked the bacon that was being fried for the next days lunch special. Check thisout. (puts a new slide under the microscope) I call itare you ready for this?

    Stinkifried super duper baconteria!

    JEREMY

    Cool name. (peers into the microscope and recoils in disgust)

    SARAH

    Thanks.

    RUBY

    Really? REALLY?

    SARAHThese critters lay dormant in the bacon until Tuesday morning, when the lunch ladies

    reheated it, and radiation from the microwave morphed it into

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    RUBYDont say it. Let me guessSuper stinky

    JEREMY

    Micro-irradiated

    RUBY Jockamorphateria

    JEREMY and RUBY(together) a la Bacon!

    SARAH

    Exactly right! Then polluted mosquitoes from the slough behind the nuclear reactorlaid their eggs on the bacon and when the larva hatched---

    RUBYAll right, all right! Did you find a cure?

    SARAH(points to a collection of bottles.) Right here.

    JEREMY

    (grabs a bottle) Great! Lets go!

    (Jeremy and Ruby exit)

    SARAH

    Uh, Jeremy, thats glass cleaner. (Jeremy is already too far away to hear. Sarah holds

    up a miniscule test tube.) THIS is the antidote.

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    Scene Eleven: Battle Preparations (5 performers)

    Location: A Park

    Characters: Ronald, Janet, Vaughn, Theo, Dustin(The zombies are preparing for battle.)

    RONALDComrades, if we are to survive, we have to stick together.

    DUSTINThere are normals everywhere! Im going to pee my pants.

    THEOI did pee my pants.

    RONALD

    Never mind that. Lets see what you brought back from our raid to the store. Janet?

    JANET

    I found this frying pan. I thought we could use it to bash their heads in.

    DUSTIN

    I though we were supposed to bite them.

    VAUGHN

    You want to bite people? Go ahead. I think its gross.

    RONALDI love the pan. Way to go. What have you got, Dustin?

    (Dustin pulls a teddy bear from behind his back.)

    RONALDA teddy bear? Whats that for?

    DUSTINUm, I

    RONALDGet rid of it, you wimp!

    DUSTIN

    I like it.

    RONALD

    (grabs the bear and pulls on it) Give it here!

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    DUSTINI want it. Its like, padding.

    (Ronald pulls the bear away, puts it against Dustin, and punches him through it)

    DUSTIN

    Hey!

    RONALD

    Works great. Theo?

    THEO

    I got this spoon thingy.

    (Ronald snatches the spoony thingy and whacks Theo)

    THEOOw!

    RONALDHow about you, Vaughn? What did you get?

    VAUGHN

    (Hiding his bags behind his back) I couldnt really find anything.

    RONALD

    Come on, Vaughn!

    VAUGHN

    I dont want to say.

    (Ronald grabs Vaughns bag and dumps it out.)

    RONALDWhats this? Hair gel? Fake tan bronzer? What the heck, Vaughn? This stuff is all

    about Vaughn looking good! What about survival? What about the team?

    VAUGHN

    It was all free! All right? My family could never afford this stuff, and there I was in

    the Shopmart, and the windows were all smashed out. And I thought, the undeadnever brush their teeth, and we dont exfoliate, and we ignore our hair, and look at

    us!! We look like crap, and we smell worse. When is the last time you took a bath?

    Youre letting yourselves go. Well Im not gonna die looking like I dont care. Imgonna keep myself looking fine

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    RONALD

    (grabs the hair gel) Gimme some of that.

    DUSTIN

    Is that toothpaste? Pass it here.

    THEO

    I want the bronzer.

    JANET

    (holding up the skin crme) Does this zit creme really work?

    (The zombies start giving themselves a makeover.)

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    Scene Twelve: (5 or more performers)

    Location: Street

    Characters: Ruby, Jeremy, Ronald, Vaughn, Janet

    (Ruby and Jeremy enter holding a spray bottle. Stylishly made over zombies [see

    scene 11] surround them, carrying weapons.)

    RUBY

    Wait! Stop fighting! We dont have to kill each other!

    RONALD

    Were in the middle of the zombie apocalypse. This is Armageddon! Ground Zero!

    THEO

    Yeah! It ends here!

    JANET

    Were here to fight to the death.

    JEREMY

    You dont have to, because I have the antidote! (he pulls a spray bottle from his bag)

    RONALD

    What is that?

    RUBYSpray this on yourself, and you become human again!

    RONALD(doubtfully) I dont know.

    RUBYRonald, how can you say that? This is your chance to be healed.

    RONALDHealed of what?

    (Pause. Ronald and Ruby stare each other down.)

    JEREMY

    Of being a zombie, stupid!

    RONALD

    Who are you calling stupid?

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    JEREMYYou! All of you! Look at yourselves! Youre a disease! How could you not want

    to be human again?

    DUSTINWe dress better than you.

    RONALD

    Before I became a zombie none of you guys ever noticed me. Sarah never noticed

    me. I was a nobody. Now, I have a girlfriend! People look up to me. They listen tome. They like me.

    RUBY

    Enough of this! (she grabs the bottle from Jeremy and points it at the zombies.)

    JANETNot so fast! (she pulls a pop bottle out of Dustins hand) This bottle is full of zombiesaliva! (She sticks her thumb in the end and gives it a shake.) Spray it onto a human,

    and they become a zombie!

    VAUGHN

    Where did you get that?

    JANETIts Dustins drink, and look at him. He drools. Zombie Backwash Soda!

    (Suddenly, Ruby sprays Ronald right in the face.)

    RONALD

    Ow, my eyes! That burns!!

    (Chaos ensues as the humans and zombies spray and attack one another. Dustin takes

    hold of Rubys wrist and struggles with her for control of the spray bottle. He

    manages to get it away from her.)

    JEREMY

    Wait! (he wrestles the pop bottle from Janet.) This is terrible! Look at us. Wereeither trying to kill each other with these stupid weapons (he grabs a spoon from

    Theos hand). Or were trying to change one another into something more like us!

    (he holds up the bottle of Zombie Backwash Soda.) Why cant we all just get along?Vaughn, whats the freedom fighter rule? Come on everyone, you know it! Vaughn?

    VAUGHNIts once a freedom fighter

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    ALL

    (mumbling) Always a freedom fighter.

    JEREMY

    And what does that mean? To me it means, that we have to fight for freedom even in

    our own minds. To think freely, to speak freely, instead of just believing whateveryone else---What is that noise?

    (A phone has been ringing)

    THEOThats my phone. (he listens) Oh, already? Ok! OKAY!! (he returns his phone to

    his pocket) Sorry guys, its six oclock. My mom wants me home for dinner.

    DUSTINCan I come? (he drops the spray bottle)

    THEOSure. Come on, buddy.

    ALL (ad lib)Is it supper already? Im starved.

    THEO

    Well, youre all invited, if you want to come.

    (Theo exits, followed by everyone but Ruby and Jeremy. Ruby and Jeremy sit up and

    look at each other.)

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    Scene Thirteen: (3 performers)

    Location: Street

    Characters: Ruby, Jeremy, Sarah

    (Ruby and Jeremy are onstage, panting from the effort of their recent skirmish with

    the zombie army.)

    RUBY

    That was close.

    JEREMY

    How did they get so organized?

    RUBY

    I dont think the antidote worked.

    JEREMY

    Those zombies are strong!

    RUBY

    (grabs the bottle of Zombie Backwash Soda from Jeremys hand.) Im beat. (she

    takes a drink. Ruby transforms into a zombie throughout Jeremys next speech.)

    JEREMY

    (unaware of Rubys transformation) This is terrible. I dont know what to do. I

    wasnt going to use this, but now that the antidotes a total failure, I dont see anyother way. I was raiding the Shopmart for supplies when I found this gun behind the

    counter. (he pulls out a huge handgun) I smashed the glass and took it, along with

    every bit of ammo I could find. I dont know if I have enough bullets to kill everyzombie on earth, but if worst comes to worst, I only need one. Are you disappointed

    in me, Ruby?

    RUBY

    (fully zombified) Jeremy! Jeremy!

    (Jeremy turns in surprise and fires the gun at Ruby. She drops to the ground.)

    JEREMYGosh. That was close. (looks around) Ruby? Ruby, where are you?

    RUBY

    Jeremy the ant-

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    JEREMY

    Ruby, is that you? (he drops to his knees beside Ruby.) What happened?

    RUBY

    Aaargh.

    JEREMY

    You didnt drink the Zombie Backwash Soda, did you?

    RUBY

    Yaaargh.

    JEREMY

    Im so sorry. I didnt mean to shoot you. (Ruby goes limp) Im sorry, Ruby! I cant

    believe I just shot my best friend. I cant take this anymore.

    (Jeremy points the gun to his head. Ruby opens here eyes and clutches Jeremy, tryingto bite him.)

    JEREMY

    Aagh! Youre alive. (He leaps to his feet and backs away, pointing the gun at Ruby.

    RUBY

    Aaarm.

    JEREMY

    Im sorry, Ruby. I didnt mean to just shoot your arm.

    RUBY

    Aahoww!

    JEREMY

    Im a terrible shot, I know.

    RUBYAntidhhhl

    JEREMYDont come any closer.

    RUBY(pointing to the spray bottle on the ground behind Jeremy) Ahuuuh.

    JEREMYOh, the antidote! Im so stupid. But Ruby, it doesnt work, remember?

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    RUBY

    (points at herself) Aaaah.

    JEREMY

    I guess I can try. (He sprays Ruby full in the face, over and over.)

    RUBY

    Ow!

    (Sarah runs on)

    SARAH

    Jeremy, what happened?

    JEREMYYour stupid antidote didnt work, thats what.

    SARAHYoure the stupid one! You took my bottle of window cleaner! Does this look like

    zombie antidote to you?

    JEREMY

    I thought you were reusing the bottle you know, reduce, reuse, recycle?

    SARAH(pulls out a tiny test tube) THIS is the real antidote! I call it super-concentrated

    micro-sporean anti-zombifying

    JEREMY

    (grabs the test tube) Whatever. Just give it here. Come on, Ruby. Drink. (he pours

    every drop between Rubys lips, and gives the test tube back to Sarah. Ruby wakesup and weeps. Jeremy holds her close and rocks her.) Thank god.

    (a shout is heard)

    SARAH

    (looking downstage, over the audience) Theyre coming.

    JEREMY

    (dragging Ruby to her feet and lurching to the right) This way come on!

    SARAH

    Oh no, theyre there! (points offstage left) That bus over there! Move!

    (Sarah supports Ruby and leads the way. Jeremy pulls out his gun and follows.)

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    Scene Fourteen: (3 main roles plus zombies)

    Location: A school bus, just before dawn.

    Characters: Ruby, Jeremy, Sarah, and zombies

    (Ruby, sits in the front passenger seat of a school bus, catatonic, rocking and

    drooling. Sarah is behind the wheel. Jeremy enters and plops down on the seatacross the aisle from Ruby.)

    JEREMYThat was close. Go!

    SARAH(Starting to drive) You left the back door open.

    JEREMYI didnt come in the back door.

    SARAH

    Go close it, ok?

    (Jeremy rises to close the door. Zombies pop up from all the seats the bus is full of

    them.)

    JEREMY

    Ahh! Ladies, we are not alone.

    SARAH

    Great. (She turns sharply to the left the zombies go crashing into the right side of

    the bus.)

    JEREMY

    Where are we going? (silence from Sarah) Where?

    SARAH

    Millers Pond.

    JEREMYWhy? Just give them some antidote.

    SARAH

    There isnt any! You gave it all to Ruby.

    RUBY

    (barely above a moan) Yay.

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    JEREMYThat was all you had?

    SARAH

    I didnt know you were going to waste it it only takes a drop!

    JEREMYWhy didnt you tell me?

    SARAHWhat do you think super-concentrated means?

    JEREMY

    Whats at Millers Pond, Sarah?

    SARAHWater.

    JEREMY

    Water. Good! Lets drown ourselves!

    ZOMBIES

    (ad lib) Hey! Grrr! Dont do that!

    SARAH

    Millers Pond provides the whole town with water. There are just a few drops of

    antidote left. If I put it in the reservoir, it might be enough to cure everyone whodrinks.

    JEREMYWhen is the last time you saw a zombie enjoying a nice tall glass of tap water?

    SARAH

    Trust me. (a sharp turn to the right zombies crash left and roar with anger) Cantyou distract them a little? Try telling them a joke or something.

    JEREMYHey, do you guys know this one?

    Ninety-nine bottles of brains on the wall, Ninety-nine bottles of brains.

    ZOMBIES and JEREMY

    You take one down, pass it around, Ninety-eight bottles of brains on the wall.

    JEREMY

    Thats it now everyone sit down. Thats right.

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    Scene Fifteen: (3 main performers plus zombies)

    Location: A school bus on the thin ice of a reservoir, just after dawn.

    Characters: Ruby, Jeremy, Sarah, and zombies

    (Ruby, Jeremy, and Sarah are at the front of a school bus full of worried and fussing

    zombies.)

    JEREMY and ZOMBIES

    Ninety-eight bottles of brains on the walletc.

    SARAH

    Oh, shoot. (hits the brakes)

    JEREMY

    (conducting the zombies) Keep singing! (turning to Sarah) Why did you stop?

    SARAH

    The pond is frozen over. Rats!

    JEREMY

    Drive onto the ice.

    SARAH

    The sign says danger thin ice.

    JEREMYWhat have we got to lose? Drive out as far as you can.

    SARAHHold on.

    (Sarah hits the gas, and the bus glides out onto the ice. Sarah pulls the wheel to the

    left, and the bus starts to slide the zombies singing turns to screaming andgrowling. At last, the bus comes to a stop. Sarah grabs a shovel from under the

    dashboard, jumps out of the bus, and starts hacking at the ice.)

    JEREMY

    Where were we? Ninety-five bottles--

    ZOMBIES

    Nooo! Aaargh!!

    JEREMYOh, sorryNinety-six bottles of brains on the wall, etc.

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    JEREMY and ZOMBIES

    Ninety-six bottles of brainsYou take one down, pass it around,

    Ninety-five bottles of brains on the wall.

    (Sarah breaks through. She opens the test tube, shakes a few drops into the water,and tosses in the empty tube. There is a sudden shaking and cracking. The singing

    stops. The zombies scream.)

    SARAH

    (coming back onto the bus) Its done. Now we wait.

    JEREMY

    Keep going! One more verse!

    Ninety-five bottles of brains on the wall.

    (Suddenly there is a creaking sound, and the whole bus wobbles and tilts to the left.Everyone on the bus piles up on the left side. Jeremy gets shakily to his feet andclimbs up to the open passenger door on the right, dragging Sarah and Ruby with

    him.)

    JEREMY

    Time to go.

    RUBYAaaahm( pulls out of Jeremys grip)

    JEREMYCome on, Ruby, this is our last chance to get off. Its going down.

    RUBYIm not going anywhere! (Ruby shoves Sarah and Jeremy out, then climbs into the

    drivers seat. She closes the door and traps them outside.) Go! NOW!!!

    (Sarah and Jeremy run for shore. Ruby kicks the bus into gear and starts driving itaround in circles until it finally breaks through the ice and disappears into the deep

    water of the reservoir. Jeremy and Sarah watch it sink.)

    JEREMY

    Ill tell you this much I wont be drinking the water any time soon.

    (Jeremy and Sarah watch the bubbling waters of the reservoir become still again.)

    THE END.