DEALING WITH DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLEDIFFICULT PEOPLE
Author: Courtesy:Author: Courtesy:
Dr. Rick Brinkman Soumindra ChatterjeeDr. Rick Brinkman Soumindra ChatterjeeDr. Rick KirschnerDr. Rick Kirschner
SIVA SIVANI INSTITUTE OF MANAGEMENT
ABOUT THE AUTHORSABOUT THE AUTHORS
• Dr. Rick Brinkman & Dr. Rick Kirschner are professional speakers.
• Co – authors of the bestselling audio-video tapes and book How to Deal with Difficult People and the best selling book Dealing with People You Can’t Stand.
• They have shared their insights with audiences worldwide through their company R & R Productions.
Dr. R Brinkman Dr. R Kirschner
ABOUT THE BOOKABOUT THE BOOK
• Identify ten bothersome behaviors
• Deal successfully with each of them
• Understand the thought and fears of difficult
people
• An understanding of whom we are
dealing with and what motivates them
• Turn conflict into cooperation
DEALING WITH DIFFICULT DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE PEOPLE
THE TANKTHE TANK
THE KNOW IT ALLTHE KNOW IT ALL
THE WHINERTHE WHINER
THE SNIPERTHE SNIPER
THE THINK THE THINK THEY KNOW IT THEY KNOW IT
ALLALL
THE MAYBE PERSONTHE MAYBE PERSON
THE GRENADETHE GRENADE
THE YES PERSONTHE YES PERSON
THE NOTHING PERSONTHE NOTHING PERSON
THE NO PERSONTHE NO PERSON
CHOOSE YOUR APPROACHCHOOSE YOUR APPROACH
1. Stay and do nothing
2. Vote with your feet
3. Change your attitude
4. Change your behavior
UNDERSTAND THE FOUR UNDERSTAND THE FOUR INTENTSINTENTS
Four general intents that determine how people will react in any situation:
• Get the task done.
• Get the task right.
• Get along with people.
• Get appreciation from people.
UNDERSTAND THE FOUR INTENTUNDERSTAND THE FOUR INTENT
GET IT DONEGET IT DONE
•THE TANK
•THE SNIPER
•THE KNOW IT ALL
GET ALONGGET ALONG
•THE NOTHING PERSON
•THE YES PERSON
•THE MAYBE PERSON
GET IT RIGHTGET IT RIGHT
•THE WHINER
•THE NO PERSON
•THE NOTHING PERSON
GET APPRECIATEDGET APPRECIATED
•THE GRENADE
•THE FRIENDLY SNIPER
•THE THINK THEY KNOW – IT - ALL
RECOGNIZE THE RESULTS RECOGNIZE THE RESULTS OF THREATENED INTENTSOF THREATENED INTENTS
NORMAL ZONE
TASK FOCUS
PEOPLE FOCUS
GET IT DONE
GET IT RIGHT
GET ALONG
GET APPRECIATED
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE
PERFECTIONISTPERFECTIONIST CONTROLLINGCONTROLLING
APPROVAL SEEKINGAPPROVAL SEEKING ATTENTION GETTINGATTENTION GETTING
THE TANKTHE TANK
1. Stand your ground
3. Interrupt
4. Don’t defend, explain, or justify
5. Aim at a “Bottom Line”
6. Peace with Honor
THE SNIPERTHE SNIPER
1. Stop, Look, & Backtrack
2. Ask the “Relevancy” question
3. Distinguish between friendly sniper &
malicious sniper
4. If he/she will talk -- LISTEN!
5. Suggest a friendly future
• Don’t overreact
THE KNOW-IT-ALLTHE KNOW-IT-ALL
1. Be prepared and know your stuff
2. Don’t resent the Know – It - All
3. Present views politely
5. Acknowledge his/her competence
THE THINK THEY KNOW IT ALLTHE THINK THEY KNOW IT ALL
1. Give them a little attention
2. Ask for specifics
3. State facts as you know them
4. Provide a way out
5. Handle alone whenever possible
THE WHINERTHE WHINER
1. Listen
2. Prepare to interrupt – get specific
3. Acknowledge the complaint
4. Don’t ask Whiners why they’re complaining
5. Use limiting responses
6. Move to problem solving
THE MAYBE PERSONTHE MAYBE PERSON
1. Help them voice concerns
2. Provide face-to-face support when possible
3. Use a decision – making process
4. Re – assure and follow through
THE YES PERSONTHE YES PERSON
• Make the Yes Person comfortable
• Talk Honestly
• Help them learn to plan
• Ensure commitment
THE NOTHING PERSONTHE NOTHING PERSON
• Plan enough time
• Lighten it up
• Avoid getting angry
• Show the future
THE GRENADETHE GRENADE
• Get the attention
• Show your concerns
• Reduce intensity
• Avoid setting off the Grenade
THE NO PERSONTHE NO PERSON
• Go with the flow
• Use them as a resource
• Give them time to think
• Appreciate the NO person
CONCLUSIONCONCLUSION
Even if we can’t change difficult people, we
can communicate with them in such a way
that they change themselves. It’s a matter of
knowing how to get through to them when
they’re behaving badly.
Courtesy
SOUMINDRA CHATTERJEE