Style Most information from Rude, Carolyn. Technical Editing, 4
th ed. Primary Examples from Fahnestock, J. (1986). Accommodating
science: the rhetorical life of scientific facts. Written
Communication: 15.3, pp. 338. Most information from Rude, Carolyn.
Technical Editing, 4 th ed. Primary Examples from Fahnestock, J.
(1986). Accommodating science: the rhetorical life of scientific
facts. Written Communication: 15.3, pp. 338.
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Slide 2
Style in language is the cumulative effect of choices about
words, their forms, and their arrangement in sentences (251).
Should the construct in which you presently find yourself undergo
the process of rapid catastrophic oxidation, many beings will
desire to rapidly perambulate to the proximal egress. Abstain from
obstructing said egress.
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Slide 3
The words you privilege in a sentence change perceived meaning.
Although our house flooded last year, it is structurally sound, and
new carpet was put in. Our house has no structural problems and new
carpetthe flooding last year caused no real damage.
Slide 4
When confronting what appears to be a sentence or paragraph in
need of help, ask yourself the following questions: 1.Does the idea
seem important? 2.Does the main idea come across? 3.Does the writer
project competence? 4.Does the style fit the audience? 5.Does the
style fit the purpose? 6.Does the style fit the occasion?
Slide 5
THE CASE OF THE FLESH EATING BEES Style changes based on
audience and purpose.
Slide 6
As language moves across audiences, different stylistic
considerations are made. Originally presented in Science Presented
in Science82 Fahnestock, J. (1986). Accommodating science: the
rhetorical life of scientific facts. Written Communication: 15.3,
pp. 335
Slide 7
Slide 8
Fahnestock, J. (1986). Accommodating science: the rhetorical
life of scientific facts. Written Communication: 15.3, pp. 337-338.
Take a look at another example:
Slide 9
The same passage modified for a lay audience: Fahnestock, J.
(1986). Accommodating science: the rhetorical life of scientific
facts. Written Communication: 15.3, pp. 338.
Slide 10
What is happening here is an accommodation for lay readers.
Core Concept Hedging Qualifications Levels of uncertainty
Slide 11
Lets revisit text from the accommodated article: Fahnestock, J.
(1986). Accommodating science: the rhetorical life of scientific
facts. Written Communication: 15.3, pp. 338.
Slide 12
I'll bet you haven't heard of the fleshing eating bees of
Turkey. They are absolutely the worst flesh eating bees on the
planet, and what's more, they are relentless. They show no mercy
and won't go away until the only thing left is bare bones. I've
seen these guys in action. Once they start their feeding frenzy,
there is nothing you can do to dissuade them. These flying piranhas
keep eating until there's no flesh left.
http://www.maxingout.com/captainslogarchive45.htm Removing even
more qualifications, we could expect to see something like the
following:
Slide 13
I was glad that I was not a lamb chop or I would have been
history. Those flesh eaters would have stripped me clean.
http://www.maxingout.com/captainslogarchive45.htm
Slide 14
Editing for clarity: Place the main idea of the sentence in the
structural core Use subordinate structures for subordinate ideas
Use parallel structure for parallel items Place the subject and
verb near the beginning of the sentence Adjust sentence length to
increase readability Use people as agents where ever possible Use
positive constructions where possible
Slide 15
At the end of the day, however, pay attention to audience!
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Slide 16
http://www.freewebs.com/faintinghills/faintinggoathistory.htm
Myotonia is the condition that causes Fainting goats to stiffen
and/or fall over when startled. This condition is caused by a
combination of recessive genes. Fainting goats can show varying
degrees of Myotonia. When startled some will fall to the ground
with their entire bodies perfectly stiff and rigid. Others will
only stiffen in their limbs and not fall to the ground. Rewrite the
core concepts of this paragraph to account for the following
situations: Humorous: Writer wants to get a laugh out of the
audience. Academic: Writer needs to sound very professional and
academic-y Disapproving: Writer thinks that raising fainting goats
is cruel Patronizing: Writer wants audience to know s/he is better
than them Technical: Writer needs to just communicate the
facts
Slide 17
What sorts of audiences are you writing for now? When editing
each others work, what stylistic considerations will you need to
look for?