8/13/2019 The Reunion Scene by William Goldman
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WILLIAM GOLDMAN
Dear Reader,
Thank you for sending in, and, no, this is not the reunion
scene,because of a certain roadblock naed !erit "hog#
As soon as bound books $ere ready, I got a call fro y
la$yer,%harley && 'you ay not reeber, but %harley(s the one
I called fro%alifornia to go do$n in the bli))ard and buy *The
+rincess ride*fro the used&book dealer-# Any$ay, he usually
begins $ith Taludichuor, $isdo .okes, only this tie he .ust says
/ill, I think youbetter get do$n here,/ and before I( e0en allo$ed
to say a ($hy1( headds, /Right a$ay if you can#/
+anicked, I )oo do$n, $ondering $ho could ha0e died, did I flunk
yta2 audit, $hat1 3is secretary lets e into his office and
%harleysays, /This is Mr# "hog, ill#/
And there he is, sitting in the corner, hands on his
briefcase,looking e2actly like an oily 0ersion of +eter Lorre# I
reallye24ected hi to say, /Gi0e e the 5alcon, you ust, or I(ll be
forcedto keeel you#/
/Mr# "hog is a la$yer,/ %harley goes on# And this ne2t $as
saidunderlined6 /*3e re4resents the Morgenstern estate*#/
Who kne$1 Who could ha0e dreaed such a thing e2isted, an estate
of aan dead at least a illion years that no one e0er heard of o0er
hereany$ay1 /+erha4s you $ill gi0e e the 5alcon no$,/ Mr# "hog
said#
That(s not true# What he said $as, /+erha4s you $ill like a fe$
$ords$ith your client alone no$,/ and %harley nodded and out he
$ent, andonce he $as gone I said, /%harley, y God, I ne0er figured
&&/ and hesaid, /Did 3arcourt1/7 and I said, /Not that they
e0er entioned/ andhe said, /Ooch,/ the grunting sound la$yers ake
$hen they kno$they(0e backed a loser# /What does he $ant1/ I said#
/A eeting $ithMr# 8o0ano0ich,/ %harley ans$ered#
No$, Willia 8o0ano0ich is a 4retty busy fella, but it(s aa)ing
$henyou(re confronted $ith a 4otential ultibillion&dollar
la$suit ho$fast you can $edge in a eeting# We troo4ed o0er#
All the 3arcourt rass $as there, I( there, %harley9 Mr# "hog,
$ho$ould s$eat in an igloo he(s so s$arthy, is streaing#
3arcourt(sla$yer started things6 /We(re terribly terribly sorry,
Mr# "hog# It(san unforgi0able o0ersight, and 4lease acce4t our
sincerest a4ologies#/Mr# "hog said, /That(s a beginning, since all
you did $as defae andridicule the greatest odern aster of 5lorinese
4rose $ho alsoha44ened to be for any years a friend of y faily#/
Then thebusiness head of 3arcourt said, /All right, ho$ uch do you
$ant1/
8/13/2019 The Reunion Scene by William Goldman
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iiiig istake# /*Money1*/ Mr# "hog cried# /:ou think this is
4ettyblackail that brings us together1 Resurrection is the issue,
sir#Morgenstern ust be undefiled# :ou $ill 4ublish the
original0ersion#/ And no$ a look at e# /In the unabridged for#/
I said, /I( done $ith it, I s$ear# True, there(s .ust the
reunion
scene business $e 4rinted u4, but there(s not liable to be a
rush onthat, so it(s all 4ast as far as I( concerned#/ ut Mr# "hog
$asn(tdone $ith e6 /*:ou*, $ho dared to defae a aster(s
charactersare no$ going to 4ut your $ords in their ouths1 Nossir#
No, Isay#/ /It(s .ust a little thing,/ I tried9 /a cou4le 4ages
only#/
Then Mr# 8o0ano0ich started talking softly# /ill, I think $e
ightski4 sending out the reunion scene .ust no$, don(t you think1/
I adea nod# Then he turned to Mr# "hog# /We(ll 4rint the
unabridged#:ou(re a an $ho is interested in iortality for his
client, andthere aren(t as any of you around in 4ublishing as there
used to be#:ou(re a gentlean, sir#/ /Thank you,/ fro Mr# "hog9 /I
like to
think I a, at least on occasion#/ 5or the first tie, he siled#
Weall siled# ;ery buddy&buddy no$# Then, an addendu fro Mr#
"hog6/Oh, :es# :our first 4rinting of the unabridged $ill be
