Download pdf - Toboggan Times€¦ · Toboggan Times A newsletter for those who ride down icy chutes on bent pieces of wood. · Issue #15 · Write us at 246 Main Street, Lincolnville, Maine 04849

Toboggan TimesA newsletter for those who ride down icy chutes on bent pieces of wood.

· Issue #15 · Write us at 246 Main Street, Lincolnville, Maine 04849 · January 2007

In This T T T T Toboggan Toboggan Toboggan Toboggan Toboggan Times imes imes imes imes Issue2006 Nationals Results start on page 4

Official Chili and Chowder Results, page 10Letters to the Editor, page 12

A Modest$2.00

Equal in Size to Our Biggest Issue Ever!

See Weather Page 2

The 2006 Toboggan Nationals Report

Weather Cuts 16thAnnual Nationals Short

Preparation and Stewart Youngsave the day

The committee that runs the Toboggan Nationals made agreat call. Not all the calls the Toboggan Committee make aregreat but this one saved the 2006 Nationals. Because of theweather, they decided to squeeze in two days of racing into onelong, brutal Saturday. It was a great call because there wasn’t

enough ice lefton Sunday todo any racingat all.

Going backto the Fridaybefore the race,Camden had 4”of snow on theground. BySaturdaymorning, afterthe warmwinds and thedownpours,there wasvirtually no

snow and hardly any ice left. But thanks to the diligent work ofStewart Young throughout the week before the race, about 2” ofice was already built up on the chute and covered with plastic– enough to hold the races as long as the ice on the lake heldout.

There were 4 to 10 inches on the lake: enough tosupport a crowd but not any vehicles. Thin spots weremarked with poles. The announcer kept urgingspectators not to congregate on the ice. It was slushywith an inch or two of standing water in manyplaces.

Saturday was very warm. Indeed, temperaturesgot up to 48 degrees. The winds were calm and the sky

Our Feature Story

The Lake PlacidToboggan Chute

An unexpected rough ride inUpstate NY

A stud in the snow tire of lifeby Tom Sadowski

Driving back to Maine after college hunting in upstate NewYork with my wife and daughter, it became evident that itwouldn’t be much of a detour to check out the famous LakePlacid Toboggan Chute in, of all places, Lake Placid, New York.

Heading east on New York’s Highway 11, we turned south atMalone onto Route 30 over strong protests from my daughterwho was more interested in getting home than in touring yetanother toboggan chute. As we approached New York’s exten-sive Adirondack Park, farmland gave way to forested hillsidesand mountain brooks. Rising in elevation, snow cover was stillsignificant, even late in March.

I was fascinated by the sights and I… well, promptlyfell asleep. I am not a great day time driver. I get

sleepy and I have to turn the driving over to mywife who, incidentally can’t drive very long

at night which is when I shine. “Wake up.” She instructs.

“We’re in Lake Placid.”Earlier I had calledPam Lundin, theadministrative

assistant at the Townof North Elba Park

District Office. (Whythe Town of North Elba

has a district office in whatI believe is the Town of Lake

Placid was never made clearto me). She invited me to drop

by the office and offered to giveme a tour of the toboggan chute

which is located only a fewhundred feet from the office back door. I anxiously awaited athrill of a lifetime on the ice of Lake Placid, the legendarylocation for winter sports.

It was here that the 1932 and the 1980 Winter OlympicsContinued on page 6

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TTTTTOBOGGANOBOGGANOBOGGANOBOGGANOBOGGAN T T T T TIMESIMESIMESIMESIMES · PAGE 2 · JANUARY 2007

sunny. Rain and above freezing temperatures were in the forecast forSaturday night and Sunday so the decision was made early onSaturday that the 2006 Championship was to be a one day event. Thismeant that ranking would be based on the best of two runs for alldivisions. This also meant squeezing in over 600 runs on the chute inone day.

Promptly at 9 AM, after the traditional anthem and flag run, thetwo person teams started down the chute in earnest.

The chute ice was hard, stable and smooth but the end of the runout onto the pond had developed a water filled depression thatdogged all of the race participants. Officials filled the depressionwith straw but it only took a few dozen runs to bunch up the straw

Toboggan Times is published oh, every so often, maybe twice a year, maybe justonce, by Local Yokels, a division of Yokels International and is dedicated tomaintaining a certain mix of serious racing fervor, a disdain for competitive sports,a rational view of the world and of course, an affinity for the bizarre, absurd, andamusing behavior of humans. Subscriptions are not really available. It's all we'vegot to get this piece out let alone maintain a mailing list and keep track of who hasor hasn't paid. If you send us some money, you might get a copy. Or maybe not.

©2006, 2007 Yokels International Publisher and Editor: Tom SadowskiProufreading: “Blind” Janis Kay Data Entry and Stuff: Laine SandersonWrite to us at 246 Main Street, Lincolnville, Maine 04849-9759. Don't try to call

us and we won't try to call you. Better yet, E-Mail Tom Sadowski at:[email protected] or, get this, if it's up and running, visit our Web Site.

Fat chance that we’ll ever have a web site. Well there is actually more chance ofdoing a web site than another paper issue. We just can’t afford this any more.

WeatherFrom Page 1 and expose the cold water. Tobog-gans would hit the puddle and aplume of water would rise just as itdoes in Disney World when the logride hits the water at the end of thejaunt. All riders got sprayed, somewere splashed, many were hosed anda few that fell off their tobogganswere thoroughly soaked.

There was no lunch break. Thiswas the 2nd year that the new chuteloading system, devised by DavidDickey was being employed. Teamsapproached the chute from the topand then utilize both sides of theloading area. There were alwaysteams ready to get onto the chute.Any bugs in the system had beenworked out in 2005 when themethod was inaugurated.

Dickey and crew kept pushingtoboggans down the chute at theaverage rate of 79 sleds per hour.The last 4 person sled took to thechute around 5:30 PM in neardarkness. The timekeepers declaredthat 673 runs were timed forSaturday’s races.

The warm Saturday nightfinished off the lake and chute ice. Itwas a good call by the TobogganCommittee.

With the balmy weather, teams waiting to load onto the chute didn’t have to hunker down against the cold. There was a definiteparty atmosphere especially among the teams from Unity College. The contingent from College of the Atlantic also deserves anhonorable mention in the party category.

Web Page UpdateOK, we admit that The Toboggan Times has been very negligent

in our effort to get out on the web. It’s becoming obvious that if wedon’t get out there, this will probably be the last issue of the Times.Printing this rag isn’t getting any cheaper and what’s the pointanyway? This is work -and isn’t the web just more work? I meanbesides the hundred million people who have web sites out there,who’s got the time? (See article on page 12 for more web ranting.)

We shall see, the future of the Toboggan Times is in the balance.As before, for a good time while you wait for the website, make

sure you have the latest Flash plug in and go to:http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail.html

Although up for 238 hours straight tending to the chuteice, Stewart Young manages to stand by his post anddispatch almost 700 sleds down the chute in one day.Please tip him generously next time he sends you down.

Exposed to the elements,ignored and abused by theToboggan Committee,David Dickey does his partat the head of the chuteto make the 2006Nationals a success. Youwould think thecommittee would accepthis valuable input,recognize his value and atleast send him a freelunch. Fat chance. If youdon’t see him running therace in 2007, you willknow there is trouble inTobogganland. Some callsby the committee aren’tso good.

❄


snapped it up. “After all”, Horovitz explains, “PresidentBush wasn’t about to use it.”

This year they had only the two 4-Person teams and“One and a half sleds”. The team was building a newtoboggan but kept breaking slats so they were forced to gowith their old sled which they were not at all planning torun.

Asked to describe the toboggan, Horovitz declares it“Adirondack style” without hesitation. This must refer insome obtuse way to the lawn furniture popular in that partof the country. “It’s a 12 footer made from a 5 footer”, heexplains. “Steve [Pixley] and Austin [Matheson] did thewoodwork”.

Pixley adds that the original was a 40 year oldAdirondack sled but now it is a three runner sled. He feelsthat flat bottom sleds are better for warm days but the icewas in good shape, and they had no other sleds.

As for a strategy, Horovitz says that the team used towait as long as they could, now they try to get down thechute very early. Pixley on the other hand says that thetheory is good but “you have to follow conditions”. Hemaintains that no matter what the time, the team waxestheir sled to meet conditions. They start out with a threelayer solid paraffin base and then… “well…” -that’s wherethe conversation turns vague, of course.

Horovitz does reveal one more secret, the team Ooches.(The spelling here is a matter for debate). “It’s a techniquefrom small boat sailing; where becalmed sailors can throwtheir body weight to get a stalled boat moving.” Horovitzadds “It is illegal in competitive sailing so we figured itmust be effective”.

In 2007 they plan new sleds with new designs. Watchfor them. You might find them under an orange tarp outthere on the ice in the Toboggantown Slums. They may bediscussing an exit strategy or a new entry.

❄

Plowing through a field of hay and ice water, MorningWood (Team #252) from Camden, Maine demonstrates theusual technique for getting “hosed” in the slush pond thatdeveloped at the bottom of the chute.

The toboggan team Exit Strategy, winners of the 4 manevent at the 2006 Nationals, show off a copy of theToboggan Times and their 1st place trophy. Left toright are J.R. Braugh, Steven Pixley, Austin Mathesonand Nick Horovitz. The small person in the lowerright apparently ran around trying to get into asmany photos as possible after the awards ceremony.His identity remains unknown.

Exit Strategy Takesthe 4-Man in the2006 Nationals

2 Teams = 1st and 3rd

Exit Strategy came in first in the big 4-person divisionbeating StinkEye by three hundredths of a second. StinkEyecame in third. The telling thing about this story however is thatExit Strategy and StinkEye used the same sled leading rationalpeople to believe that this team knows what it is doing. (RefitMisfits came in second, two hundredths of a second behind ExitStrategy.)

Team member Nick Horovitz explains that this is his thirdyear at the Nationals but some of his team mates have been at itsince 2001. He and his Rockport, Maine based team have neverbeen in the winner’s circle before. He recalls placing 14th withsome of the teams he’s put together including the FarewellJohnnies in ’05, Captains Courageous in ’04, and The Mythin some unspecified year.

(By the Toboggan Times records, the Farewell Johnnies camein 28th in 2005 and it was the Captains Copasetic that actuallytied for 12th place in 2004, 4-Person division, combined time. Ofcourse he might be referring to the team Captain Obvious andthe Mouth Breathers but that team came in 17th in ’04)

Horovitz admitted the team has never raced other than in theNationals but then that is understandable since few people knowof any toboggan races for speed other than the Nationals. (Thereare the concrete and the Cardboard toboggan races but that is notso much for speed as for endurance. Ed.)

When searching about for a team name for the 2006 NationalsHorovitz says they stumbled onto the term Exit Strategy and


16th Annual Toboggan NationalsResults, February 4, 2006Official 2 Person Team Results 1st 2nd Best

Bib Run Run TimeRank # Team Town

1 46 Two Hogs & Heifers Camden, ME 8.76 8.94 8.762 74 The Other 2 Throbbin Boggins Rockport, ME 8.88 9.09 8.883 9 Slick and Slicker Harrisville, RI 8.89 9.13 8.893 23 Snowball Express Taneytown, MD 8.89 9.14 8.895 42 Fast Ash Lugers Waterville, ME 8.89 9.15 8.896 5 Bonnie & Clyde Portland, ME 8.91 9.30 8.916 66 Two Big Kahoonas Searsmont, ME 8.91 9.11 8.918 6 Beer Coasters Lincolnville, ME 8.93 9.14 8.938 67 Two Ash Pounders Lincolnville, ME 8.93 9.08 8.938 68 Ashpounded Rockland, ME 8.93 9.05 8.938 87 Chute to Thrill Camden, ME 8.93 9.05 8.93

12 2 Tobogquinns Biddeford, ME 8.94 9.10 8.9412 31 Sled Zepplin Graniteville, VT 8.94 9.16 8.9412 79 Rosie’s 2 Uncles Wallingford, CT 8.94 9.13 8.9415 25 A Hokie and a Duke Camden, ME 8.95 9.13 8.9516 24 Dead Weight Slabers Lincolnville, ME 8.96 9.17 8.9616 65 The Other Two Big Kahoonas Searsmont, ME 8.96 9.20 8.9616 70 Dumb and Dumber Naples, ME 8.96 9.09 8.9619 34 They Ain’t Right Twice Camden, ME 8.97 9.31 8.9720 3 White Heat 2 Portland, ME 8.98 9.16 8.9820 11 Frozen Rafters ? 8.98 9.15 8.9820 26 Ten Foot Johnsons Camden, ME 8.98 9.14 8.9820 30 10' Woody XL Albion, ME 8.98 9.05 8.9824 7 Boomerangs Oxford, MA 8.99 9.03 8.9924 35 Mountain Street Boys Camden, ME 8.99 9.28 8.9924 72 Twin Brooks Stretchers Lincolnville, ME 8.99 9.13 8.9927 13 Green Eyes and Ham Woodsocket, RI 9.00 9.12 9.0027 73 2 Throbbin Boggins Rockport, ME 9.00 9.05 9.0027 76 Two’s Enough Bowdoinham, ME 9.00 9.11 9.0030 22 lil DEUCE COUPE Taneytown, MD 9.01 9.19 9.0130 41 Wholeness Counseling Hopeles Camden, ME 9.01 9.22 9.0130 91 Revenge of the Wild Thing ? 9.01 9.20 9.0133 47 Oh Baby, Oh Baby Bridgton, ME 9.02 9.26 9.0233 78 Howling Hooters Bowdoinham, ME 9.02 9.41 9.0235 56 Rotorheads Newfields, NH 9.03 0.00 9.0335 84 2 Neighborhood Kids Camden, ME 9.03 9.28 9.0337 45 Two Guys on a Plank ? 9.04 9.38 9.0438 53 Almost Terminal Velocity Augusta, ME 9.05 9.19 9.0538 95 The Silver Bullets Windham, ME 9.05 9.11 9.0540 20 Turkey Trollers Buxton, ME 9.07 9.32 9.0741 17 Kennebunkport.com Chicks Kennebunkport, 9.08 9.18 9.0841 28 Hopalong Cassidys Camden, ME 9.08 9.29 9.0841 48 Fat Bloated Idiots Turner, ME 9.08 9.32 9.0841 57 Not nearly the Rotorheads Newfields, NH 9.08 0.00 9.0845 27 East German Women’s Team Camden, ME 9.10 9.17 9.1046 77 Snowsnakes Bowdoinham, ME 9.11 9.21 9.1147 90 J Bombs Bar Harbor, ME 9.12 0.00 9.1248 54 Jack Daniels Express Wakefield, RI 9.14 9.60 9.1449 58 B + S Boothbay Harbor, 9.34 9.17 9.1750 19 The Firebolts Falmouth, ME 9.21 9.18 9.1850 21 Jim and Ed Yarmouth, ME 9.18 0.00 9.1852 1 Big Boned Boggins Jamaica Plain, M 9.20 0.00 9.2052 55 Better than the Rotorheads Newfields, NH 9.20 0.00 9.2054 49 Who Gives a Hoot 1 Owls Head, ME 9.22 0.00 9.2254 92 Wild Thing Canaan, ME 9.22 9.27 9.2256 12 Rift Rafters II Camden, ME 9.23 0.00 9.2356 99 The Coastal Crush Rockport, ME 9.43 9.23 9.2358 50 Timmy T’s Torpedo Yarmouth, ME 9.24 9.62 9.2458 61 Local Yokels Rockport, ME 9.24 9.96 9.2460 89 The Curfew Bar Harbor, ME 9.25 9.41 9.2561 101 My Aunt Made Me Do This Arlington, VA 9.26 9.31 9.2662 51 Look Out Below!! Yarmouth, ME 9.28 9.46 9.2863 18 The Penguins Falmouth, ME 9.29 0.00 9.2963 97 Team Caffine Camden, ME 9.29 0.00 9.2965 10 The Geezers Tenants Harbor, 9.32 9.52 9.3265 86 The Stiff Nipples Braintree, MA 9.32 9.60 9.32

67 64 Bodacious Bogganing Duo Byfield, MA 9.34 9.37 9.3468 80 Double Letter Score Rockland, ME 9.55 9.35 9.3569 52 Team Van Dyke Yarmouth, ME 9.36 9.46 9.3670 88 Tannewitz Toboggan Monkeys Rockland, ME 9.38 10.22 9.3870 96 Alien Vs. Predator Bremen, ME 9.38 9.46 9.3872 98 Soulmates Purcellville, VA 9.72 9.41 9.4173 60 The Pounders Rockport, ME 9.43 10.08 9.4374 29 Number One and Number Two Millville, MA 9.45 9.63 9.4575 81 Duncan Kennedys Haverhill, MA 9.74 9.46 9.4676 37 The Mothership Quincy, MA 9.48 9.89 9.4877 62 Pair O’ Panics Greenville, ME 9.50 9.51 9.5077 85 Sled Heads Groton, MA 9.50 11.20 9.5079 82 Sassy Sliders Millville, MA 9.62 9.99 9.6280 100 Dumb and Dumber 2 Camden, ME 9.76 9.63 9.6381 38 Hotpants and copilot Quincy, MA 9.69 10.08 9.6982 94 The Blowgirls Eaton, NH 10.02 9.71 9.7183 36 Hot Dog Bunns Quincy, MA 9.75 0.00 9.7583 93 Git ‘er down Gilsum, NH 9.75 10.03 9.7585 59 The Wipe Outs Westbrook, ME 10.68 9.86 9.8686 63 Slide Two It Cape Elizabeth, 10.10 9.96 9.9687 83 The Twin Thing Cape Elizabeth, 10.00 10.14 10.0088 69 Sweetie & Me Amherst, NH 10.22 0.00 10.2289 71 Thelma and Louise Rockport, ME 11.44 10.58 10.58

4 Connecticut Yankees Trumbull, CT None8 Almost Hitched Taunton, MA None14 TEAM FUTO (fat, ugly, tired, a Loudon, NH None15 Team Slip’n & Dip’n Loudon, NH None16 Team Slide’n & Glide’n Loudon, NH None32 Gritty McSled Rockport, ME None33 Gritty’s Brew Crew W. Rockport, ME None39 Two Homers Two Brunswick, ME None40 Two Homers Brunswick, ME None43 The Cold Calcified Cadavers Hancock, ME None44 The Skeleton Crew Hancock, ME None

Official Distance Published for 2005Not Incorrect

Toboggan Times Regrets the ErrorHad There Been One

Malt liquor involvement suspected

The Toboggan Times correctly reported the chute length for the2004 Nationals as 423 Ft, 7½ In. We would like to say that the errorwas caused by a failure to properly edit the previous year’s lengthbut, truth be told, we were just asleep at the wheel. Asleep or not,there was no error involved so everyone just cool your jets.

The correct length for the timed portion of the race for the lastthree years is as follows:

2004 423 Feet 10½ Inches2005 423 Feet 7½ Inches2006 424 Feet 2½Inches

Distances are measured after races are held. Year to year compari-sons are not valid without knowing the actual distance of the race. Ashorter race will have faster times. A toboggan traveling at 38 milesper hour, for example, covers about 6.7 inches in one hundredth of asecond. You do the math and get back to us if you come up withsomething different. Now this is a real chance to get somethingwrong.

The Official Toboggan Times Measurement

A increase of 0 ft. 7 inches over the 2005 Nationals

2006 Nationals Race Distance424 feet, 2½ inches


67 151 Suicide Sledders Hiram, ME 9.39 9.27 9.2768 206 Jersey on Ice Bar Harbor, ME 9.27 9.41 9.2769 208 Free Dancers Rockland, ME 9.27 9.45 9.2770 110 The Feeble Minds Newtown, CT 9.28 0.00 9.2871 117 Buck’s Pork Pullers Freeport, ME 9.29 9.40 9.2972 135 Gritty’s Three-Peat W. Rockport, ME 9.29 0.00 9.2973 109 Raiders of Doom Bar Harbor, ME 9.31 9.31 9.3174 196 IDK Camden, ME 9.69 9.31 9.3175 191 VillageSoupy Sales Camden, ME 9.32 0.00 9.3276 195 Splat! Bar Harbor, ME 9.33 9.49 9.3377 204 Rock Rats Warren, ME 9.44 9.33 9.3378 113 The Geezers X 3 Tenants Harbor, 9.34 9.50 9.3479 133 The 3 “B’s” Topsham, ME 9.34 9.42 9.3480 153 The P-Funk Allstars Yarmouth, ME 9.35 0.00 9.3581 205 Hootie Tooties Londonderry, NH 9.35 0.00 9.3582 130 French Follies Tenants Harbor, 10.39 9.36 9.3683 161 The Rush-ins Scarborough, ME 9.36 9.51 9.3684 164 Panic Attack Greenville, ME 9.38 9.57 9.3885 181 Gravity’s Revenge Haverhill, MA 9.39 9.65 9.3986 210 150 Proof Chuters Gorham, ME 10.29 9.39 9.3987 104 The S.S. Minnow Portland, ME 9.40 9.53 9.4088 157 Farm Yard Massacre Unity, ME 9.41 9.49 9.4189 183 Triple Word Score Rockland, ME 9.51 9.42 9.4290 203 Graffam Bros Camden, ME 9.42 9.49 9.4291 197 The Flying Francos Camden, ME 9.43 0.00 9.4392 138 Bamboo Runners Westford, MA 9.46 9.60 9.4693 152 Terminal Velocity Yarmouth, ME 9.46 0.00 9.4694 201 Laughing All the Way Framingham, MA 9.56 9.47 9.4795 144 Three Dollar Jackpot Gray, ME 9.48 9.52 9.4896 192 Bodie Miller Express Bar Harbor, ME 9.49 0.00 9.4997 199 The Grateful Sled Hope, ME 9.49 9.51 9.4998 154 Dew’s Daredevils Yarmouth, ME 9.52 9.80 9.5299 172 Loose Wires Biddeford, ME 9.52 9.80 9.52

100 182 Just Chute Me Haverhill, MA 9.53 9.52 9.52101 193 Team Snowfish Eaton, NH 9.63 9.86 9.63102 209 Carcharodon carcharias Edgecomb, ME 9.93 9.67 9.67103 213 3 Blind Moose Greenville, ME 10.08 9.74 9.74104 166 Rocket Shock-It Cape Elizabeth, 9.75 10.14 9.75105 147 Pookie Pals Camden, ME 9.98 9.89 9.89106 148 Grinding Grunders Camden, ME 9.91 0.00 9.91107 165 The Three Chicks Cape Elizabeth, 9.94 10.20 9.94108 211 Flashbacks Camden, ME 9.99 10.08 9.99109 173 Sledding for Disaster Amherst, NH 10.08 0.00 10.08110 194 Rave On Augusta, ME 10.54 10.45 10.45111 106 Three Pains in the Ash Taunton, MA None112 140 Three Homers Brunswick, ME None113 146 A Clean Slate North Yarmouth, ME None

16th Annual Toboggan NationalsResults, February 4, 20063 Person Team Results 1st 2nd Best


1 143 Three Hogs & Heifers Camden, ME 8.83 8.91 8.832 134 10' Woody L Albion, ME 8.90 9.04 8.903 118 Up Town Sorrority Girls Stratford, CT 8.92 9.07 8.924 174 Coye Dogs Naples, ME 8.92 9.09 8.925 169 Three Big Kahoonas Searsmont, ME 8.93 9.21 8.936 170 Three Ash Pounders Lincolnville, ME 8.94 8.98 8.947 141 Big Ash Lugers Waterville, ME 8.97 9.03 8.978 188 The Classics Camden, ME 8.97 9.03 8.979 122 Kennebunkport.com Roosters Kennebunkport, 9.00 9.10 9.00

10 75 3 Throbbin Boggins Rockport, ME 9.01 9.13 9.0111 105 Flying Beer Boys Lincolnville, ME 9.01 9.21 9.0112 126 Team Loose Moose ? 9.02 9.12 9.0213 128 Virginia Rednecks Camden, ME 9.02 9.16 9.0214 115 Rift Rafters III Camden, ME 9.05 9.17 9.0515 127 The Slab Citians’ Lincolnville, ME 9.05 9.18 9.0516 131 The Ashmen Camden, ME 9.05 9.14 9.0517 137 They Aint Right Camden, ME 9.05 9.17 9.0518 175 Fast on Ash 2 Bowdoinham, ME 9.06 9.36 9.0619 185 Little Hogs & Heifers Camden, ME 9.06 0.00 9.0620 129 Mixed Breed Camden, ME 9.07 9.19 9.0721 190 French & Brawn Bag Boys Camden, ME 9.07 9.21 9.0722 212 Jeff Yellow Jacket Easton, CT 9.07 9.07 9.0723 167 Bodacious Bogganing Trio Byfield, MA 9.08 9.25 9.0824 180 Hot Off the Press Rockland, ME 9.08 0.00 9.0825 121 Kennebunkport.com Roasters Kennebunkport, 9.09 9.25 9.0926 132 Piece of Ash Camden, ME 9.09 9.16 9.0927 187 3 Neighborhood Kids Camden, ME 9.09 9.14 9.0928 202 Dumb Kids Express Belfast, ME 9.09 9.21 9.0929 136 Boothbay Bombers Boothbay, ME 9.10 9.22 9.1030 120 One Sleeve Optional Harrisville, RI 9.11 9.17 9.1131 149 Absolute Zeros Turner, ME 9.11 9.26 9.1132 114 Frozen Assets ? 9.12 9.30 9.1233 155 Almost Terminal Velocity Augusta, ME 9.12 9.19 9.1234 178 The 24 Pack Bowdoinham, ME 9.12 9.15 9.1235 179 Deadline Divas Rockland, ME 9.13 9.42 9.1336 108 Planck’s Constant Bar Harbor, ME 9.14 9.38 9.1437 163 Reading Rockets Camden, ME 9.14 0.00 9.1438 177 Yankee Clipper #2 Rochester, NY 9.14 9.30 9.1439 103 White Heat 3 Portland, ME 9.15 9.18 9.1540 116 Buck’s Naked BBQ Freeport, ME 9.15 9.22 9.1541 119 Fabulous Hudson Hornets Stratford, CT 9.15 9.30 9.1542 158 The Unit-”Y” Jr. Fire Marshals Unity, ME 9.58 9.15 9.1543 176 Yankee Clipper #1 Rochester, NY 9.15 9.18 9.1544 207 Gravity’s Fools Belfast, ME 9.15 9.28 9.1545 112 In-Laws Northport, ME 9.16 9.25 9.1646 142 3 Frozen Richards Camden, ME 9.16 9.27 9.1647 184 Santa’s Little Helpers Camden, ME 9.17 9.34 9.1748 124 GAS-X Hancock, NH 9.18 9.33 9.1849 125 Benno’s Team N. Yarmouth, ME 9.18 0.00 9.1850 162 The Pounders II Rockport, ME 9.18 9.28 9.1851 160 The Cork Dorks Unity, ME 9.19 0.00 9.1952 198 Team Caffine II Camden, ME 9.20 9.33 9.2053 107 Terminal Grace Bar Harbor, ME 9.21 9.43 9.2154 111 Chute Us Strafford, CT 9.21 9.53 9.2155 200 You’ll Chute Yer Eye Out! Douglasville, GA 9.22 9.32 9.2256 145 Buck’s Bodacious Babes Freeport, ME 9.23 9.29 9.2357 156 Rhode Kill Wakefield, RI 9.23 9.56 9.2358 123 Out of Control Buxton, ME 9.24 0.00 9.2459 150 Who Gives a Hoot 2 Owls Head, ME 9.24 9.45 9.2460 189 VillageSoup Sledders to the Edit Camden, ME 9.24 9.28 9.2461 102 Atherquinns Biddeford, ME 9.25 9.35 9.2562 139 Club Roof Divers Westford, MA 9.26 9.48 9.2663 159 Hot Dawgs Unity, ME 9.30 9.26 9.2664 168 Team Swany North Andover, M 9.26 9.37 9.2665 171 Bad Impressions Biddeford, ME 9.26 9.59 9.2666 186 2006 3 Person National Tobogg Camden, ME 9.26 9.43 9.26

Left to right: Dustin Watts, Nick Hutchins (a little hidden),Eddie Socker, and Ben Oakes Boynton, holding the trophy forthe fastest Kid’s team. Their team, 2 Neighborhood Kids, (a 2person team), took the prize at the 2006 Nationals with atime of 9.03 seconds. There are 4 kids in the photo. We Know.


were held. A quick visit to Wikipedia will tell youthat Lake Placid’s Olympic Center has the greatestamount of ice surface in the world. And it’s not allabout winter sports either: Alfred Hitchcock’s 1941film, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, is partially set in LakePlacid. (However Lake Placid, a1999 movie, was notfilmed here but in the Town of Shawnigan Lake, BC,Canada -which was pretending to be in Maine. Butthat’s another story.)

We located the office in the heart of downtownLake Placid. A quick look around before enteringproduced no visible evidence of anything resem-bling a toboggan chute, but we trudged forward onfaith, my 18 year old daughter Terra Nova, accom-panying her wacky father who is bent on visitingevery toboggan chute in North America.

I am very excited. Since it is Lake Placid, andsince it is winter, there is no question in my mindthat the toboggan chute will be the centerpiece of awild party of winter merriment that no doubt, goeson around the clock.

We find Pam Lundin in her office.She is smartlyequipped with acomputer, a phone, acalculator –even abottle of White-Out –everything she needsto keep a tobogganparty rolling ‘roundthe clock. She has abullhorn on the shelf!With no warning, shetells me that thetoboggan chute is closedfor the season.

Closed for the season!I am taken aback. My screaming toboggan has hit a patch of grass.She does offer a full tour of the facilities and suggests we walk to

the chute for a look around. (She is referring to the same chute Ididn’t see on my way into her building.)

Meanwhile, my daughter doesn’t seem to care. She inspects theNew York Yankee paraphernalia on the desk of Butch Martin who isthe manager of the park district. Coming from Red Sox country, shenotes with disdain the Yankee snow globe and other Yankee bric-a-brac adorning his desk and office walls. “What did you expect?” Iask, “After all, we are in New York.”

Unfortunately, Butch Martin is conveniently out of the office so Imiss the opportunity to witness a Red Sox vs. Yankee encounter thatI’m sure would have been quite brutal.

Ms. Lundin whisks us outof her office, walking up onestreet and down ParksideDrive toward Mirror Lake.Right there, emerging from thetrees is a genuine tobogganchute made of steel and woodplank all resting on concretepilings. Its back is up against acity side street and it lets outdirectly onto the lake ice. Thefact that it lets out onto a lakeother than Lake Placid was asurprise but I suppose peoplewho build these things can calltheir chutes any thing they

please. (Why the Lake Placid Toboggan Chute is located on MirrorLake was never made clear to me). I never did see Lake Placid.Perhaps Mirror Lake is very placid, hence the name of the town.

The toboggan chute has been inoperation since the 1960’s. It is really aski jump trestle that has been modifiedand transplanted so that fairly crazypeople can use it instead of extremelycrazy people.

The chute seems to be about 200 feetlong and about 30 feet high at the top.Since the terrain it sits on drops towardthe lake, I estimate a toboggan mayexperience a 50 to 60 foot drop over thelength of the chute before hitting thelake ice; enough for a rewarding thrilland a good distance run when the ice isfree of snow. If the ice is good, atoboggan can travel over 1,000 feet onthe lake. Locals claim the chute canpropel a toboggan to upwards of 40miles per hour but chute skeptics wouldhave to see a radar read-out to believeanything over 35 is possible.

The incline appears to be divided sothat there are actually two parallel runsavailable for toboggans. But accordingto the literature, only one toboggan is sent down the chute at a time–“for safety”. Nothing like safety to get in the way of a little tobog-ganing fun I’m thinking. The gate and padlock across the chute alsoseem to be getting in the way as Pam Lundin explains she hasn’t gotthe key.

Under normal conditions the chute is open until 9:30pm Fridaysand Saturdays with shorter hours on Wednesdays and Sundays.Night time rides should be quite exciting because you wouldn’t beable to see who you ran over on the ice. Ms. Lundin claims she hasno knowledge of losing anyone to the chute and that there have beenno injuries “outside of, you know, normal toboggan activity”. Onlyfour people are allowed on a toboggan she declares but the

Continued from Page 1

CCCCClosed flosed flosed flosed flosed for the season.or the season.or the season.or the season.or the season.

Looking up from the bottomnotice the big gate across thsuggesting that the chute istobogganists would have to in order to make good use of

This panoramic composition shows the layout of the Lake Placid ToboggParkside Drive. Underneath is a 2.7 mile trail around the lake where noUnauthorized use is discouraged with chains, padlocks, fences, signs, ba

Pam Lundin takes a tough standagainst unauthorized use of thetoboggan chute. She has a bullhorn and is not afraid to use it.


neparkdistrict.com website clearly shows 5 men packed onto asled barreling across the ice. No doubt, someone miscountedbefore releasing that group of winter revelers down the chute.

Our conversation turns to the gatesand padlock. It’s too bad the chute isclosed when the nation’s only publica-tion dedicated to tobogganing is thereto experience the majesty of what LakePlacid has to offer. Like a glaciercalving, I drop oversized, obvious hintsthat a ride would be nice.

“Dad,” my daughter says in the waythat an 18 year-old tries to conveycommon sense to a parent by statingthe obvious, “The chute is closed!” sheexplains at close range.

Here I am in the middle of a veryimportant interview with Pam Lundin,one of the nation’s top toboggan chuteadministrators and something catchesmy eye as my daughter finishes hercomment.

That was the first time I noticed.“What is that in your mouth?” I

ask. “Is that a tongue stud?” I shriek indisbelief.

This was the same girl that whenjust born I argued with doctors over the fact she had perfectskin and didn’t need any injections. It was the girl I shieldedfrom all invasive devices like knives or shards of glass or eventhe sharp edges of paper. I taught her never to place her tongueon metal objects in winter. I think I remember telling her not torun with scissors because you could fall down and pierce yourtongue. At 16 she eschewed having her ears pierced to my quietapproval. I have always felt it my duty to protect her fromanything threatening or creepy or in poor taste and a holethrough the tongue was right up there toward the top of my list.

Suddenly my world was spinning. It was not unlike thesensation you get when your toboggan is on the lake ice doing

360’s as it heads for the rocks. It was very likethe moment you realize that you have lostcontrol -and the toboggan of life is doingexactly what it pleases, full speed ahead.

I didn’t notice but Pam Lundin abruptlyfell off the back of my careening sled. Onlymy little girl and I were left clinging to thesliver of a plank that once was our stableconveyance. As we hit the roughest ofpatches I grabbed for her but in that confus-ing moment she had transformed herself. Mylittle girl was slipping away.

We must have hit something hard. I foundmyself babbling and saying something like“We’ll discuss this later”, to the young lady Ifound myself with. Pam Lundin on the otherhand kept saying things about the chute andapologizing that it was closed.

At that point I didn’t mind. I already hadone very rough ride out there on the LakePlacid Toboggan Chute and I wasn’t lookingfor any more adventure. My head felt as if ithad been dragged over the ice. My tonguehurt. It felt swollen to the point where Icouldn’t speak clearly.

I think I thanked Pam Lundin for her timeand bright smile. She was very nice. I’m notsure if she was oblivious to -or amused by mypersonal, fatherly jolt but it made no differ-

ence to me. She was just a spectator. I have seen a lot oftobogganists thrown from their sleds after spinning wildly onthe ice. It’s amusing watching from a distance but it is some-thing altogether different actually taking the hit.

We said good by and Pam went one way, I went another,and I believe my daughter went a little bit away on her own. Ihope she comes by often to visit.

Someday if I am passing near Lake Placid in the winter, Imay stop and take that ride down their famous chute. I’m sureit will be fast and fun. I will however never forget the experi-ence of taking one of life’s rough rides out there on the chute,without a toboggan.

Before taking a trip to Lake Placid to experience the chute, call(518)523-2591 to make sure it is open. If you bring your adoles-cent kids with you, bring extra insight and understanding.Medication might also be a good idea.

m of the chute you can reallyhe two available trackss closed. Hard coresomehow get the gate openf the chute.

gan Chute. On the left is Mirror Lake. On the right and just out of frame iso dogs are allowed except for all the dogs that the locals are walking there.arbed wire, security lighting, park rangers and numerous locals with dogs.

Pam Lundin speaks with barely legal adult at the base ofthe Lake Placid chute on Mirror Lake. It is advisable tokeep your tongue in your mouth if the ice is rough whentobogganing.

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16th Annual Toboggan NationalsResults, February 4, 20064 Person Team Results 1st 2nd Best


1 343 Exit Strategy Rockport, ME 9.01 9.09 9.012 267 Refit Misfits Rockland, ME 9.03 9.17 9.033 344 Stink EYE Rockport, ME 9.04 9.21 9.044 258 Family of Hogs & Heifers Camden, ME 9.05 9.17 9.055 266 Bunch of Yahoos Rockland, ME 9.06 9.08 9.066 257 Four Hogs & Heifers Camden, ME 9.12 9.08 9.087 244 10' Woody XXL Albion, ME 9.12 9.14 9.128 299 The Ash Pounders Lincolnville, ME 9.16 9.12 9.129 268 The Liseron Lackies Rockland, ME 9.13 9.17 9.13

10 309 Team Pamaid Lincolnville Cente 9.14 9.17 9.1411 239 Virginia Ice Rockport, ME 9.16 9.37 9.1612 303 Scuttlebutts Rockland, ME 9.23 9.16 9.1613 245 Team Green Monster Unity, ME 9.17 9.24 9.1714 298 The Half Ton Run Bar Harbor, ME 9.17 9.31 9.1715 327 4 Neighborhood Kids Camden, ME 9.33 9.18 9.1816 269 The Wing Nuts Rockland, ME 9.19 9.27 9.1917 315 The Throbbin’ Boggins Rockport, ME 9.29 9.19 9.1918 335 Ash Pounder’s Papas Rockland, ME 9.19 9.36 9.1919 337 Team Wurd, Troop 446 Albion, ME 9.20 9.41 9.2020 214 All Aboard Camden, ME 9.21 9.34 9.2121 224 Throttle It Back Stratford, CT 9.21 9.23 9.2122 326 The Clueless Kids ? 9.22 9.48 9.2223 380 Tomato Soup Appleton, ME 9.22 9.22 9.2224 332 Skid Marks Appleton, ME 9.28 9.23 9.2325 219 Free Beer Lincolnville, ME 9.24 9.27 9.2426 240 Vertically Challenged Rockport, ME 9.24 9.25 9.2427 330 Tyrant Toboggan Waldoboro, ME 9.33 9.25 9.2528 241 Vertically Inclined Rockport, ME 9.28 9.26 9.2629 296 The University of Iowa Hawke Camden, ME 9.26 9.57 9.2630 390 Ash Rippers Warren, ME 9.26 9.48 9.2631 221 Pourquoi Pas No. Yarmouth, M 9.27 0.00 9.2732 235 Team Chesapeake Baynards Taneytown, MD 9.27 9.42 9.2733 247 Hot Flash Hampton Falls, N 9.34 9.27 9.2734 275 The Big Kahoonas Searsmont, ME 9.31 9.27 9.2735 232 The Rift Rafters IV Camden, ME 9.28 0.00 9.2836 236 Slab City Sliders Lincolnville, ME 9.32 9.28 9.2837 248 Just Chute Us Graniteville, VT 9.28 9.42 9.2838 350 4 Loose Nuts Bowdoinham, ME 9.29 0.00 9.2939 392 Ragnarok Waldoboro, ME 9.29 9.57 9.2940 242 Kickin’ Ash Camden, ME 9.36 9.30 9.3041 287 The Chuggers Unity, ME 9.30 9.84 9.3042 316 Kick ‘n’ Ice Appleton, ME 9.39 9.30 9.3043 347 Frozen Cheeks on the Bobsicle Providence, RI 9.30 9.45 9.3044 381 The Pants Party Manchester, ME 9.30 9.32 9.3045 243 Dangerous Dads Camden, ME 9.38 9.31 9.3146 336 Rat Patrol, Troop 446 Albion, ME 9.31 9.56 9.3147 339 Woodpeckers Lincolnville, ME 9.38 9.31 9.3148 364 Son’s of the Kahoonas Searsmont, ME 9.47 9.31 9.3149 382 El Banos Manchester, ME 9.31 0.00 9.3150 238 Kamikaze Camden, ME 9.40 9.32 9.3251 246 Take No Prisoners Hampton Falls, N 9.35 9.33 9.3352 356 Local Yokels II Rockport, ME 9.33 9.45 9.3353 357 The Pounders III Rockport, ME 9.33 9.49 9.3354 306 Wet Ash 3 Bowdoinham, ME 9.34 0.00 9.3455 338 Moose Patrol, Troop 446 Albion, ME 9.34 0.00 9.3456 351 Sno-daze Topsham, ME 9.34 9.37 9.3457 353 Born to be Wild Canaan, ME 9.50 9.34 9.3458 252 Morning Wood Camden, ME 9.35 9.43 9.3559 319 Short Deck Rockland, ME 9.50 9.35 9.3560 361 The Bog Boys Waldoboro, ME 9.37 9.35 9.3561 398 #N/A! #N/A! 9.35 9.35 9.3562 230 The UnDutchables Camden, ME 9.87 9.36 9.3663 254 Hysonators Dover, NH 9.36 9.55 9.3664 310 Famwich Camden, ME 9.36 9.56 9.3665 318 The Mach Bandits Rockland, ME 9.44 9.36 9.3666 391 8 Chilly Cheeks Warren, ME 9.36 9.50 9.3667 278 Almost Terminal Velocity Augusta, ME 9.37 0.00 9.37

68 321 The Flying Milano Brothers Sebago, ME 9.37 9.37 9.3769 362 Sled Nugent Camden, ME 9.37 9.44 9.3770 363 Cruel Runnings Camden, ME 9.37 9.43 9.3771 279 Rhode Rage Wakefield, RI 9.42 9.38 9.3872 349 Lost Sailors Bowdoinham, ME 9.38 0.00 9.3873 223 CFC Tails Rockport, ME 9.39 9.54 9.3974 251 Grateful Sled Camden, ME 9.39 9.53 9.3975 265 Rusty Sheriffs Badge Rockland, ME 9.39 0.00 9.3976 320 Captain Bobs Sled Sebago, ME 9.39 9.39 9.3977 329 Tater Tots Waldoboro, ME 9.58 9.39 9.3978 342 Boston Bikini “Bombahs” Kingston, MA 9.39 9.52 9.3979 292 Mash Unit Unity, ME 9.40 9.45 9.4080 314 Christie Cruisers Rockport, ME 9.40 9.46 9.4081 228 Demmon’s Fanny Friction Portland, ME 9.42 9.47 9.4282 373 Midcoast Dyna-Mite Rockport, ME 9.42 0.00 9.4283 273 Bull-Hoss Fusiliers Turner, ME 9.43 0.00 9.4384 291 Revenge of the AE’s Unity, ME 9.43 9.56 9.4385 305 Team Green Machine Camden, ME 9.44 9.63 9.4486 385 Team Ramrod Troy, ME 9.44 9.59 9.4487 225 GAS-X II Hancock, NH 9.46 9.53 9.4688 355 Team Emma ? 9.46 9.46 9.4689 234 The Frosted Flakes Harrisville, RI 9.76 9.47 9.4790 264 Flying Pile of Wood ? 9.47 0.00 9.4791 282 The Orange Slices Unity, ME 9.47 9.58 9.4792 297 Down Easters Lubec, ME 9.51 9.47 9.4793 333 Git er Dun! Brunswick, ME 9.47 0.00 9.4794 358 Carl’s Cougar Hunters Rockport, ME 9.62 9.47 9.4795 388 The BIGelow Bombers Walpole, ME 9.73 9.48 9.4896 293 Leading the Way Unity, ME 9.49 0.00 9.4997 217 Let’s Try That Cape Elizabeth, 9.50 10.00 9.5098 222 CFC Pins Rockport, ME 9.50 9.65 9.5099 285 Piny’s Unity, ME 9.50 9.71 9.50

100 346 Highlander Snow Port Huron, MI 9.50 9.95 9.50101 231 The Idiots Naples, ME 9.69 9.51 9.51102 233 High Flyers South Hope, ME 9.58 9.51 9.51103 307 The Snow-Cohns Camden, ME 9.51 9.53 9.51104 394 Flatlanders ? 9.86 9.51 9.51105 249 Gritty’s Six Pack W. Rockport, ME 9.52 0.00 9.52106 261 My Dogs Junk Lincolnville, ME 9.52 9.78 9.52107 280 Team Technicolour Yawn Unity, ME 9.52 9.59 9.52108 389 The Lobstarzs Wayland, MA 9.52 9.66 9.52109 290 Project Mustache Unity, ME 9.53 9.93 9.53110 295 Guns & Hoses Millinocket, ME 9.81 9.53 9.53111 367 Back in Deep Chute Southwest Harbor 9.54 9.69 9.54112 323 Werner Burners Groton, MA 9.55 9.80 9.55113 387 The Drinking Year of Bork Portland, ME 9.56 0.00 9.56114 263 Bag of Donuts Rockland, ME 9.57 0.00 9.57115 274 Who Gives a Hoot Owls Head, ME 9.57 10.46 9.57116 352 Silver Slippers Bar Harbor, ME 9.57 0.00 9.57117 215 Beyond Hope Camden, ME 9.58 9.70 9.58118 395 Hippies with Attitude ? 9.74 9.58 9.58119 366 Sledi Mind Trick Southwest Harbor 9.63 9.59 9.59120 216 Thundering Avalanche Glastonbury, CT 9.60 9.70 9.60121 360 Screaming Eagles Lincolnville, ME 9.60 0.00 9.60122 374 Optical Deluugions Cape Elizabeth, 9.60 10.15 9.60123 288 Big Worm Unity, ME 9.61 0.00 9.61124 281 The Moustache Riders Unity, ME 9.62 0.00 9.62125 262 Waisting Our Money Again! Rockland, ME 10.13 9.63 9.63126 348 Kahoona Crushers Bowdoinham, ME 9.64 0.00 9.64127 368 Los Locos Amigos St. Amesbury, M 9.64 0.00 9.64128 283 We Lead’s Beautious Uterus Unity, ME 9.65 9.76 9.65129 322 Smith Dogah York, ME 9.65 9.77 9.65130 324 4-Letter Word Rockland, ME 9.65 0.00 9.65131 377 MT Net Concord, NH 9.74 9.66 9.66132 226 The Vermonsters Camden, ME 9.80 9.68 9.68133 378 Straight Chuters Moultonboro, NH 9.68 10.12 9.68134 218 The Biggest Looshers Cape Elizabeth, 9.72 0.00 9.72135 294 Brooks Blizzards Holden, ME 9.73 10.03 9.73136 396 Snow Sharks Rockport, ME 9.96 9.73 9.73137 260 The Flying Dutchmen Thomaston, ME 9.82 9.77 9.77138 300 Gilbert’s Shooters Rockport, ME 9.79 0.00 9.79139 399 #N/A! #N/A! 9.79 0.00 9.79140 289 Effen Effers Unity, ME 9.80 0.00 9.80


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141 345 Highlander’s Venture Port Huron, MI 9.81 10.00 9.81142 270 Salz Well That Ends Well Acton, MA 9.94 9.86 9.86143 301 Broken Brackets Biddeford, ME 9.88 0.00 9.88144 334 Sled-load of Dumb Ash Limerick, ME 10.19 9.91 9.91145 256 Team Kito Middletown, CT 9.95 10.19 9.95146 272 Godspeed Camden, ME 10.01 10.23 10.01147 313 Station Maine ? 10.43 10.02 10.02148 308 The Whale’s Tooth Pubbers Lincolnville, ME 10.12 10.20 10.12149 312 Brunswick Dragons Brunswick, ME 10.14 0.00 10.14150 354 LSD (Landing School Design) Kennebunk, ME 10.14 10.50 10.14151 370 Four Associates Endicott, NY 10.14 0.00 10.14152 375 Viva Moss Vegas Belfast, ME 10.36 10.15 10.15153 328 Station Maine Juniors ? 10.22 10.40 10.22154 371 Not Associated Endicott, NY 10.23 10.37 10.23155 271 Double Trouble Camden, ME 10.30 10.24 10.24156 259 Brady Bunch Auburndale, MA 10.30 0.00 10.30157 376 Down Hill From Here Concord, NH 10.37 0.00 10.37158 372 Country In Conumdrums Union, ME 10.56 10.95 10.56159 325 Brady Bunch II Auburndale, MA 10.73 0.00 10.73160 386 The Dukes of Blizzard Farmington, ME 12.42 10.75 10.75161 277 Fast Living Dixmont, ME 10.77 11.40 10.77162 379 Fat Frog One Camden, ME 11.87 11.10 11.10163 227 HMS MANSLOP Paxton, MA 11.18 0.00 11.18164 302 Bite turbos Biddeford, ME 11.28 0.00 11.28165 331 Sled Dogs Rockland, ME 11.35 0.00 11.35166 220 Suggestion Man Oxford, MA None167 229 Smokin’ Ash St. Georges, ME None168 237 4 Virginia Rednecks Camden, ME None169 250 Gritty’s Brew Crew Plus Two W. Rockport, ME None170 253 Midnight Garden Raiders Westford, MA None171 255 The Homers Brunswick, ME None172 276 Phat Boys Hiram, ME None173 284 The Octagon Unity, ME None174 286 BCGC Unity, ME None175 304 T. Harbor Tobogganers Tenants Harbor, ME None176 311 The Bodacious Bogganeers ? None177 317 The 4 Flying Fuzzies Northport, ME None178 340 Belles of the Balls Camden, ME None179 341 Rivers Farm Runners West Burke, VT None180 359 Destiny’s Child Bar Harbor, ME None181 365 A Better Way to ‘Boggan Damariscotta, ME None182 369 Sixay! Brunswick, ME None183 383 Toboggan Noggins Rockport, ME None184 384 Sloggin’ Toboggan Rockport, ME None185 393 The Wilbers Camden, ME None186 397 Ice to Snow Ya (Team 40) Washington, D.C. None

Apologies for Large Oversight

The Toboggan Times apologizes to its discriminating readers fornot obtaining a photo of the winning All-Female team at the 2006Nationals known as the Howling Hooters (Team #78) fromBowdoinham, Maine. Apparently, the photographer assigned todocument this serious group of tobogganers became confused whenhe ran into team #205, known a the Hootie Tooties fromLondonderry, NH. This confusion was compounded when hewrenched his neck by turning his head too far trying to catch aglimpse of team #86, The Stiff Nipples from Braintree, Massachu-setts.

As a result, no images are available of any of these fine teams.Too bad.Nothing like a group photo of Howling Hooters to spice up a dull

publication like the Toboggan Times.Yep, nothing like it.We did run a cool photo of that old guy playing an accordion on

the ice last issue, but no Howling Hooters.He was pretty good on that accordion.If anyone sees our photographer, slap him around a bit and send

him home.

Every year the Chili and Chowder Challenge isheld in conjunction with the Toboggan Nationalsas a fund raiser for the Camden Snow Bowl. Ev-ery year local restaurants bring their best and allthe participants vote for their favorite chili andchowder but that only gives a representation ofwhat the masses like, not what is actually superb.

So again, the Toboggan Times will weigh in withour account of whose Chowder we feel is the best.

(We typically don’t rate the chilis because ourchili taster has such a sensitive pallet that everyyear, she is overcome by some powerful chili thatrenders her opinion useless.

Finally, it is our policy that we will never re-veal the super secret identities of our reviewersespecially to “Scooter” Libby because we knowthat he would immediately tell Carl Rove whowould probably call David Grima over at the Cam-den Herald and spill the beans that Janis K. is theone who can’t take the chili. We will never do that.)

And now onto our picks for 2006.

#1 Marriner’s Restaurant, Main Street Camden:Mmmmm, good. Very good. You’ve been cryingand you’re cold and someone kind sits you downby a fire, throws a blanket over your shoulder andgives you a bowl of chowder. This is that chow-der. It’s creamy and good and good and creamy.Mmmmm.

#2 Offshore Restaurant, Route 1, Rockport: Justthe right bit of smoky flavor to make you takenotice with approval. Now this is a taste of theNew England sea. Some may think it a touch saltybut all is forgiven. Isn’t the sea a bit salty?

#3 Quarry Hill, Camden: Is that a bit of lobsterin there? Yes, I believe it is! Is that cheating in achowder competition? Not when you are the oneeating it. So creamy, so sea-food-y - and with ahint of scallops. Let’s go out and order this one.

#4 Waterfront Restaurant, Camden: Eventhough there is some mystery spice that hovers inyour mouth and can’t be identified, this chowderis surprisingly good and it’s all in the satisfyingpotato chunks. They roll in your mouth and all iswell. Nice job.

#5 Breakwater Cafe: It’s really just chowder;your basic building block restaurant chowder.Here is the solid foundation upon which a great

Toboggan Times Ratesthe 2006 Chowders

Continued next Page


Local Yokels

Publishing · Photo-Synthesis · Production Projects · Events · Advertising

Tom Sadowski, Photographer (207)763-4540

2006 Costume contest winners from left to right are GeoffScott, Kyle Scott, Tana Scott and Anita Brosius-Scott. Theirteam was called “Famwich” and they all sported a slice ofbread (with lettuce underneath) on their chest. Each costumerepresented a different component of a sandwich. Kudos towhomever was able to sell the kids on the concept. Looks likeGeoff Scott might have had enough miles but the weekenddates were blacked out, so the family ended up at the Nationals.Makes you think: What’s in your wallet?

Janis Kay (left) and Joyce Lawrence inspect the bottom of thesample cups to determine who produced the chili or chowderand the 2006 Chili and Chowder challenge. The participatingrestaurants were only referred to by code on the containers.Participants have complained for three years that they leave thechallenge without knowing who cooked their favorite dish.

chowder can be built, but construction is stalled. Getthe crew back in there and finish the job. Maybe geta new architect too.

#6 Pen Bay Medical Center Cafe: Now this is achowder that you may confuse with potato soup ifyou have a cold. Otherwise you may refer to it as deli-cate. It’s actually quite satisfying even though thereis just not enough actual chowder flavor there to sat-isfy. If you’re sick at Pen-Bay, and you need a goodcomfort food, this will do just fine.

#7 Windward Gardens: By itself, without otherchowders to compare it to, this would be a fine chow-der. There’s that spice again in the background. I likeit. No, I don’t like it. Wait. It’s a bit tangy and it’sgood. Well, it is a fine soup. But as a serious chow-der, it’s questionable.

#8 Black Bull, Rockland: Another tangy, spicy andgood looking chowder. Aye matey, it be a chowderthat looks fit for a pirate, by the powers that be -itjust seems that some pirate ran off with the true chow-der taste. A chowder betrayed by its own good looks.Great for photos.

#9 Upper Deck: It’s the shrimp. I told you beforeto hold back on the shrimp. This is chowder, notshrimp stew. And it’s a bit watery, and salty. It’s astep up from high school chowder and with the rightwhiskey, could be tasty. But it would have to be theright whiskey.

#10 The Wave Cafe: There is nothing really wrongwith this chowder but it is a bit Campbell Soup-ish.And it has corn. Some people like corn in their chow-der. Other people. And it’s a bit watery. The Wave isthe Camden Hills High School cafe. The kids mightlike it. It’s hard to tell what the kids might like.

All in all The chowders this year were up in qual-ity from years past. No where was it necessary to usethe word poison or chemical or toxic. Quite an ac-ceptable collection. The Toboggan Times suggests youtry all the above chowders for yourself and never be-lieve what anybody else says about how your foodwill taste.

Continued from Page 9

Official Results of the 2006 Chili andChowder Challenge

Chowder#1 Quarry Hill#2 Breakwater Cafe#3 Offshore Restaurant

Chili#1 French and Braun#2 Natalies#3 Pen Bay Cafe

*


❄

toboggan

TO HAGGLE OVER PRICES IN BOSTON

Opinions and Editorials

Comic Artist MakesFun of the T Word

And the word is Toboggan

Just as religious fundamentalists all over the world areexpressing outrage over the portrayal of deities in the comics,Johnny Hart, the artist who creates the popular comic B.C.,seems to have deliberately crossed over to the politically incor-rect side. In only two panels, he managed to make fun of theword Toboggan and belittle the people of Boston.

Now the Toboggan Times takes no issue with slandering thepeople of Boston. Everybody knows they talk funny and turninto raving madmen whenever behind the wheel of a car. They

This two panel comic ran on January 2nd 2007 in newspapers across the country. In spite of the inflammatory nature of thecontroversial art, no protests or demonstrations materialized because as usual, half of America was too busy arrangingtax cuts for the rich while the other half was watching American Idol and Desperate Housewives.

drive up to Maine, park on the wrong side of the road, set offtheir car alarms and try to hit Presbyterians in cross walks.They drive big SUV’s around small fishing villages and makefun of the way some of us Mainers talk! All their old roads arescrewy and they like to hide the new ones underground. Theonly good thing about Boston is the Red Sox and you just haveto wonder how good they really are.

No, there’s no sin in poking some good-hearted fun at thosecrazy Bostonians but to use the “T” word in that context is justinexcusable. Shame on you Johnny Hart. What irreverent stuntwill you try next? Slaughter a pig by choking it with a porkroast? Have you no decency or sensitivity? Some day whenAmerica is through with Dancing With the Stars, people aregoing to stand up and take notice. There will be a day ofreckoning and people will be chosen. Will you be one who getsto sit with those who are given a pork roast sandwich or willyou be sent to sit with those to watch Oprah?

The choice is yours.

Predator attacks Alien as they wait their turn to take arun down the chute at the 2006 Nationals. Team #96,Alien Vs. Predator from Bremen, Maine, was obviouslyhitting the malt liquor fairly hard when they spawnedthis concept. Predator wanted to sit in front, Alienwanted a window seat, then things got ugly.

Team #209, Carcharodon Carcharias from Edgecomb, Maine,show off their Sponge Bob style briefs at the 2006 Nationals.What makes young ladies don shark heads and briefs during anational sporting event is a mystery that makes the races agreat spectator sport. (See notes about the Howling Hooters p.9).Carcharodon Carcharias is Latin for the great white briefwearing shark that apparently lives in Maine.


The Toboggan Times welcomes any correspondence, especially ifit concerns Toboggans, even as an obtuse reference. Send yourletters to The Toboggan Times, 246 Main Street, Lincolnville,Maine 04849. Correspondents should be prepared to have theircomments ridiculed, edited and twisted. E-mail [email protected] will typically go unanswered for months.

In The Next Issue ofTTTTToboggan Toboggan Toboggan Toboggan Toboggan Timesimesimesimesimes

What Next Issue?❄

Letters andComments

Open Till 6pm Friday Night!

Feb 2006 Via e-mail

Hi-I didn't get to go this year, so don't know ifit was the same, but I wanted to tell you that Icompletely agree with what you said about last year's chili andchowder challenge. No parking, too crowded and exactly whobenefits from not knowing whose chili or chowder you're tasting?You don't get to seek them out later to have some because youhave no idea whose it was you liked, and the restaurant doesn'tget the benefit of new customers discovering them via their wares.Bad idea all around. How can we get itchanged next year?I also liked your personal ratings of the entries last year!

Thanks for the Toboggan Times!Elyse Socker

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MC/VISA CHECK OR MONEY ORDER ACCEPTED

Dear ElyseYes, the Chili and Chowder Challenge was the same. You would

think that a prestigious publication like ours would have some pullbut we are just a small, calm voice in a sea of screamers. Get onthe phone and scream into it. Tell them it is in the interest ofnational security and it is for the safety of our children. That onealways works. If you don’t fight them over there you’ll have to fightthem over here. Do it for the homeland and don’t stop until it’s“mission accomplished”.

Ed.

TobogganTimes.comSnatched Up!

Domain Name Already Claimed

All right folks. Who is the bad boy that went out andspent his $8 to register TobogganTimes.com before wecould get it?

Did we meet in some bar, did we talk over drinks andbecome chummy? Did we buy you a couple drinks duringour conversation? Did we lean over and say somethinglike, “Hey buddy, what say when we all sober up, you gohome and register TobogganTimes.com as a domain nameon the Internet so that we can never use it...”

That’s an unlikely scenario because we never buyanybody drinks whether we’re chummy or not!

What possible use could you have for aTobogganTimes.com domain name? Are you thinking ofselling it to us? Oh yeah, we’ll give you $10 for it so thatyou can walk away with a $2.00 profit. Then you can say,“Hey, I made 25% on my investment onTobogganTimes.com” as you try to impress the women.

Great Plan. Only we don’t have $10.00!Come on, transfer the name to us and no hard feelings.No, better yet, you take over this publication - you can

have it, web site and all. You can write the stories, takethe photos, fight with the toboggan committee every yearfor race data and try to get the issues out on time.

Of course you won’t have time to deal with the print-ing issues because you’ll be busy formatting everythingfor the web!

Think about it, you can have all the fun that we arehaving right now.

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