1.Are You REALLY Listening?Of all the component skills of communication(speaking, writing, reading, listening), for mostpeople, LISTENING is the hardest skill to learn.And yet.To listen well is as powerful a means of communication andinfluence as to talk well. - John Marshall (1755-1835)4th Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court

2. Sometimes we may hear what someone issaying without really listening. In your opinion, whats the differencebetween hearing and listening? 3. Successful communication requires ACTIVELISTENING. Whats the difference between passivelistening and active listening? 4. How to be an ACTIVE Listener: 1. Be attentive. FOCUS on the speaker. 2. Use nonverbal actions to show you are listening. relaxed posture head-nodding facial expression relaxed body expression eye contact 3. Listen with an accepting attitude. 5. 4.Ask some questions to demonstrate that you aresincerely interested. 5. Use reflections and restatements frequently totry to communicate to the person what you thinkthey are saying and test for understanding.Practice mirroring. 6. 6. Use encouraging words to show you arelistening and to invite speaker to continue. "I see." "Right." "Uh, huh. "Tell me more." "Sounds like you have some ideas on this." "Im interested in what you have to say." "Lets talk about it." 7. THINGS TO AVOID While Being an Active Listener1. DO NOT INTERRUPT!!!2. Do not interrogate. Limit the number of questions you ask so that you are not "drilling" them. 8. 3. Do not try to think of your response in your own head while you are listening.4. Do not change the subject. 9. 5. Do not be judgmental. Avoid phrases like: "Are you sure?" "You shouldnt feel that way." "Its not that bad." Youre making something out of nothing. "Thats a dumb question. 10. According to Sean Covey, author of The7Habits of Highly Effective Teens, there are fivedifferent poor listening styles. Are you guiltyof any of these?1. Spacing out2. Pretend listening3. Selective listening4. Word listening5. Self-centered listening Judging advising probing 11. 1. Spacing out occurs when we are so tunedout to what someone is saying its like were inanother world. 12. 2. Pretend listening happens when someone isnot really listening but acts like they arebecause they make comments once in awhileas the speaker is talking by saying things likeyeah, uh-huh, awesome. 13. 3. Selective listening means that the listeneris only paying attention to the parts of theconversation that interest him. 14. 4. Word listening means that you payattention only to the words that someone issaying, and not to their body language. 15. 5. Self-centered listening happens when we heareverything from our own point of view, not thepoint of view of the speaker. There are three types of self-centered listening: 16. judging sometimes we make judgmentsabout the speaker instead of listening 17. advising sometimes we give advice instead of just listening 18. probing this happens when we questionand try to dig up emotions before the speakeris ready to share them Do your parents ever do this to you?