Advanced WritingSession Two

A Course Designed By Nima Yousefi

Concepts to cover this session

• Free Modifiers

• Bound Modifiers

• Cumulative Syntax

• Sentence Structure

“On offering to help the blind man, the man who then stole his car, had not, at that precise moment, had any evil intention, quite the contrary, what he did was nothing more than obey those feelings of generosity and altruism which, as everyone knows, are the two best traits of human nature and to be found in much more hardened criminals than this one, a simple car-thief without any hope of advancing in his profession, exploited by the real owners of this enterprise, for it is they who take advantage of the needs of the poor.” (97 words)

Blindness - Jose Saramago

Cumulative Sentence = Base Clause + Modifying Phrase

Modifying Phrase

Bound Modifier: A modifier that is bound to what it m o d i fi e s b y a r e l a t i v e pronoun such as that, which, or who.

Free Modifier: A modifier that can be placed in any syntactic position relative to the base clause.

This is the house that Jack built.

This is the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the rat that ate the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the cat that killed the rat that ate the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the horse and the hound and the horn that belonged to the farmer sowing his corn

that kept the rooster that crowed in the morn that woke the judge all shaven and shorn that married the man all tattered and torn

that kissed the maiden all forlorn that milked the cow with the crumpled horn

that tossed the dog that worried the cat that killed the rat that ate the malt

that lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the horse and the hound and the horn that belonged to the farmer sowing his corn

that kept the rooster that crowed in the morn that woke the judge all shaven and shorn that married the man all tattered and torn

that kissed the maiden all forlorn that milked the cow with the crumpled horn

that tossed the dog that worried the cat that killed the rat that ate the malt

that lay in the house that Jack built.

Bound Modifiers

For our continued influxes of feeling are modified and directed by our thoughts,

which are indeed the representatives of all our past feelings; and, as by

contemplating the relation of these general representatives to each other, we

discover what is really important to men, so, by the repetition and continuance of

this act, our feelings will be connected with important subjects, till at length, if we

be originally possessed of much sensibility, such habits of mind will be produced,

that, by obeying blindly and mechanically the impulses of those habits, we shall

describe objects, and utter sentiments, of such a nature, and in such connexion

with each other, that the understanding of the Reader must necessarily be in

some degree enlightened, and his affections strengthened and purified.

Preface to the Lyrical Ballads - William Wordsworth

The boy sat down at the table.

The boy was young.

The boy was out of breath from running.

He sat down quickly.

He sat down dramatically.

He plopped into his chair.

The table was covered with steaming dishes of food.

The table was made of heavy oak.

The boy looked around the room.

The boy who was young and who was out of breath from running sat down at the table whose heavy oak surface was covered with dishes of food that were steaming, plopping into his chair in a way that was quick and dramatic and then looked around the room.

Free Modifiers

Participial Phrases ( Verb turned into an adjective)

Gerund Phrases (Verb turned into a noun)

Infinitive Phrases (Verb drained of its power)

Prepositional Phrases

Participial Phrases The boy fainted, exhausted by his long run.

The boy fainted, fainting as if he had been shot.

The boy fainted, slumping to the ground.

The boy fainted, stricken with grief.

The boy fainted, lost for the rest of the race.

The boy fainted, his face turning a sickly white.

Gerund Phrases

Eating ice cream too fast makes my forehead hurt.

Eating ice cream too fast is what I always try to avoid.

His eating ice cream proved to be his undoing.

Infinitive Phrases

The boy wanted to faint.

Fainting is the problem to be overcome.

To faint or not to faint was the question.

Prepositional Phrases

The boy fainted after finishing the race.

The boy fainted as his shocked parents watch.

The boy fainted in front of his parents.

The boy fainted with no warning.

Common Prepositions Than Begin Prepositional Phrases

Across

After

As

At

For

From

In

In Front of

Under

Until

Up

With

Because of

Before

Between

By

On

Over

Through

To

Together with

In regard to

Like

Near

Of

The room was fragrant with the smell of punch, a tumbler

of which grateful compound stood upon a small round

table, convenient to the hand of Mr. Mould; so deftly

mixed that as his eye looked down into the cool

transparent drink, another eye, peering brightly from

behind the crisp lemon-peel, looked up at him, and

twinkled like a star.Martin Chuzzlewit - Charles Dickens

The boy sat down at the table.

The boy was young.

The boy was out of breath from running.

He sat down quickly.

He sat down dramatically.

He plopped into his chair.

The table was covered with steaming dishes of food.

The table was made of heavy oak.

The boy looked around the room.

Out of breath from running, plopping into his chair, quickly, dramatically, the young boy sat down at the table, its heavy oak surface covered by steaming dishes of food, only then looking around the room.

Misplaced Modifiers!

Having eaten lunch, the bus left the station.

Be Careful!

Misplaced Modifier: A modifying phrase that, because of its placement, is unclear about what it modifies.

1. Start from a relatively short and simple base clause and then build the longer sentence around it.

2. Almost any relative clause can be boiled down to a modifying phrase.

Let’s Get Started

This room looks like a disaster area …

This room looks like a disaster area, its walls pocked with holes, holes that suggest the room had been the site of a violent fight, a fight in which sledgehammers had been the weapons of choice.

They sat down, the young man cautiously, as if he might decide not to sit at all, the young woman hurriedly, as if this were something she wanted to finish as quickly as possible.

They sat down …

“ Th e c o n t ro l o f t h e s e f u n d a m e n t a l p ro t e c t i ve systems and the channeling of them into team play and individual effort that possess logic and reason acceptable to the individual’s culture represent the mental hygiene of athletic endeavor.”

This is the mental hygiene of athletic endeavor, controlling these fundamental protective systems, channeling them into team play and individual effort, both possessing logic, both acceptable to the individual's culture.

Original Paraphrased

"It is encouraging to note the progress made by beekeeping to meet the challenging times, particularly in connection with t h e d i f fi c u l t p r o b l e m o f pesticides as they relate to the keeping of bees in the highly cultivated areas where bees are needed for pollination."

Beekeeping is making encouraging p r o g r e s s , r e s p o n d i n g t o c h a l l e n g i n g t i m e s , f a c i n g challenges such as the difficult problem of pest ic ides, the problem being to keep bees in the highly cultivated areas where bees are needed for pollination.

Original Paraphrased

Take Away LessonsCumulative Syntax

Bound Modifiers

Free Modifiers

Prepositional Phrases

Gerund Phrases

Participial Phrases

Infinitive Phrases

E.L. Doctorow

“Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.”