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Chapter Ten Contemporary Living Communicating with Others
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COMMUNICATION
MEANS BY WHICH YOU SHARE A MESSAGE WITH OTHERS
Identify ways a message can be shared? Example?
How can a message be misunderstood? Example?
Communication begins at birth:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JmA2ClUvUY&NR=1&feature=fvwp
For communication to occur there must be a sender and a receiver.
What is the role of the sender?
What is the role of the receiver?
VERBAL COMMUNICATION “the use of words”
Is it just the “spoken” use of words?
Non – Verbal What is an example of non-verbal
communication?
The way the receiver listens.
Active Listening How do you know when someone is
listening to you?
Passive Listening How do you know when someone is not
listening to you?
CARELESS LISTENING: causes words to be taken out of context. What problems can this cause? NARROW LISTENER hear only what they want to hear. What might happen? DEFENSIVE LISTENER reads meaning into words; perceives being
under attack
In this decade of technology, you wonder if “ANYONE IS LISTENING”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poAUNIQsTJI&feature=related
Physical barriers- yelling across the hall, communicating from different locations EX.
Perceptual barriers- we all see the world differently EX
Emotional barriers- withholding thoughts and feelings EX
Cultural barriers- group behaviors EX Language barriers- not everyone is familiar
with all languages or jargon EX
EMPATHY – the listener understands how the speaker feels and why.
SYMPATHY - sharing the speaker’s feelings and experience simultaneously. “Me too!”
Often causes resentment.
Assertiveness- expressing thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in a direct and honest way.
Use “I” statements “I” statements include 3 parts:- Feelings, behavior, effect Remember: Never attack the person, deal
with the behavior.
Revealing inner feelings without speaking Very important in relationships, parenting,
work. 60-80 % of a message is through body
language. 7-10 % of a message is through the actual
words
How do people use sighs to communicate? Give an example.
Can it cause miscommunication?
What really did that sigh mean?
Does how one looks and dresses make a difference?
You decide.
Three people interviewed for the same job. All are equally qualified.
# 1 WHY OR WHY NOT?
# 2 WHY OR WHY NOT?
# 3 WHY OR WHY NOT?
Sexual harrassment is a form of negative communication that is difficult to define.
Legally, it is defined as unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature.
Comment’s about a person’s body, clothing, looks or sexual activity.
Obscene jokes, pictures, or stories Sexual remarks, suggestions or name calling Pressures for sexual intimacy Suggestive sounds or obscene gestures Leering or staring at someone’s body Touching, grabbing, or brushing up against
someone’s body in a sexually offensive way.
Which level is necessary for a good marriage?
Problems: lack of trust difference in attitudes need for privacy parents too busy to talk parents ask too many questions don’t know how to present a problem parents don’t like your friends want more independence
Build a trust fund. Keep promises, honor commitments, fulfill responsibilities
Pick a good time to talk. Let them know you need to talk. Keep a “civil tongue” Nothing is gained by
sarcasm or criticism. Use I messages Know when “to give up.”
Fun for those on the inside, hurtful for those on the outside.
Behavior of some cliques can be negative. Fraternities/ Sororities
Retain your own identity.
Groups help teens develop qualities to carry through to adulthood.
Some groups though condone violence.
Bullying is often the beginning of a violent group.
A network of people with an established order of rank that is typically involved in criminal activity.
Uses a method of identification such as dress, signs, jewelry, colors or tattoos.
Young people join gangs for: status, protection, a sense of belonging.
Negative consequences of gang membership: Drug Abuse Criminal activity Injury Death Imprisonment
Stay away from gang areas. Don’t wear clothing that resembles gang
symbols Try to not let bullies or gang members scare
you. This is what they want. Ignore them and walk away.
Don’t get in a fight. Get help from friends
Keep a written record. When an incident occurs, tell your parents
and the school authorities. It is not tattling.
Create an open, nonjudgmental atmosphere Only people involved should be present. Set ground rules. -one person speaks at a time - show courtesy and respect - be honest - keep everything confidential - agree to try to solve the problem.
STEP ONE: Gather information. One at a time each person involved speaks STEP TWO: Define the problem. Mediator restates the facts and issues STEP THREE: Identify alternative solutions Both groups suggest solutions STEP FOUR: Identify a possible solution Mediator negotiates to create an
acceptable solution.
STEP FIVE: Reach an agreement The agreement should be written down and
both parties sign the agreement. Also, discuss outcome if either party breaks the agreement.
By communicating clearly one can:
Manage conflict
Solve problems
Improve relationships
Develop understanding
“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”