DEALING WITH DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLEDIFFICULT PEOPLE

Author: Courtesy:Author: Courtesy:

Dr. Rick Brinkman Soumindra ChatterjeeDr. Rick Brinkman Soumindra ChatterjeeDr. Rick KirschnerDr. Rick Kirschner

SIVA SIVANI INSTITUTE OF MANAGEMENT

ABOUT THE AUTHORSABOUT THE AUTHORS

• Dr. Rick Brinkman & Dr. Rick Kirschner are professional speakers.

• Co – authors of the bestselling audio-video tapes and book How to Deal with Difficult People and the best selling book Dealing with People You Can’t Stand.

• They have shared their insights with audiences worldwide through their company R & R Productions.

Dr. R Brinkman Dr. R Kirschner

ABOUT THE BOOKABOUT THE BOOK

• Identify ten bothersome behaviors

• Deal successfully with each of them

• Understand the thought and fears of difficult

people

• An understanding of whom we are

dealing with and what motivates them

• Turn conflict into cooperation

DEALING WITH DIFFICULT DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE PEOPLE

THE TANKTHE TANK

THE KNOW IT ALLTHE KNOW IT ALL

THE WHINERTHE WHINER

THE SNIPERTHE SNIPER

THE THINK THE THINK THEY KNOW IT THEY KNOW IT

ALLALL

THE MAYBE PERSONTHE MAYBE PERSON

THE GRENADETHE GRENADE

THE YES PERSONTHE YES PERSON

THE NOTHING PERSONTHE NOTHING PERSON

THE NO PERSONTHE NO PERSON

CHOOSE YOUR APPROACHCHOOSE YOUR APPROACH

1. Stay and do nothing

2. Vote with your feet

3. Change your attitude

4. Change your behavior

UNDERSTAND THE FOUR UNDERSTAND THE FOUR INTENTSINTENTS

Four general intents that determine how people will react in any situation:

• Get the task done.

• Get the task right.

• Get along with people.

• Get appreciation from people.

UNDERSTAND THE FOUR INTENTUNDERSTAND THE FOUR INTENT

GET IT DONEGET IT DONE

•THE TANK

•THE SNIPER

•THE KNOW IT ALL

GET ALONGGET ALONG

•THE NOTHING PERSON

•THE YES PERSON

•THE MAYBE PERSON

GET IT RIGHTGET IT RIGHT

•THE WHINER

•THE NO PERSON

•THE NOTHING PERSON

GET APPRECIATEDGET APPRECIATED

•THE GRENADE

•THE FRIENDLY SNIPER

•THE THINK THEY KNOW – IT - ALL

RECOGNIZE THE RESULTS RECOGNIZE THE RESULTS OF THREATENED INTENTSOF THREATENED INTENTS

NORMAL ZONE

TASK FOCUS

PEOPLE FOCUS

GET IT DONE

GET IT RIGHT

GET ALONG

GET APPRECIATED

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE

PERFECTIONISTPERFECTIONIST CONTROLLINGCONTROLLING

APPROVAL SEEKINGAPPROVAL SEEKING ATTENTION GETTINGATTENTION GETTING

THE TANKTHE TANK

1. Stand your ground

3. Interrupt

4. Don’t defend, explain, or justify

5. Aim at a “Bottom Line”

6. Peace with Honor

THE SNIPERTHE SNIPER

1. Stop, Look, & Backtrack

2. Ask the “Relevancy” question

3. Distinguish between friendly sniper &

malicious sniper

4. If he/she will talk -- LISTEN!

5. Suggest a friendly future

• Don’t overreact

THE KNOW-IT-ALLTHE KNOW-IT-ALL

1. Be prepared and know your stuff

2. Don’t resent the Know – It - All

3. Present views politely

5. Acknowledge his/her competence

THE THINK THEY KNOW IT ALLTHE THINK THEY KNOW IT ALL

1. Give them a little attention

2. Ask for specifics

3. State facts as you know them

4. Provide a way out

5. Handle alone whenever possible

THE WHINERTHE WHINER

1. Listen

2. Prepare to interrupt – get specific

3. Acknowledge the complaint

4. Don’t ask Whiners why they’re complaining

5. Use limiting responses

6. Move to problem solving

THE MAYBE PERSONTHE MAYBE PERSON

1. Help them voice concerns

2. Provide face-to-face support when possible

3. Use a decision – making process

4. Re – assure and follow through

THE YES PERSONTHE YES PERSON

• Make the Yes Person comfortable

• Talk Honestly

• Help them learn to plan

• Ensure commitment

THE NOTHING PERSONTHE NOTHING PERSON

• Plan enough time

• Lighten it up

• Avoid getting angry

• Show the future

THE GRENADETHE GRENADE

• Get the attention

• Show your concerns

• Reduce intensity

• Avoid setting off the Grenade

THE NO PERSONTHE NO PERSON

• Go with the flow

• Use them as a resource

• Give them time to think

• Appreciate the NO person

CONCLUSIONCONCLUSION

Even if we can’t change difficult people, we

can communicate with them in such a way

that they change themselves. It’s a matter of

knowing how to get through to them when

they’re behaving badly.

Courtesy

SOUMINDRA CHATTERJEE