IDA EXAMINER July-August 2015 - Parents' roadmap-stages of parenting children with dyslexia

Carolyn D. Cowen August 3, 2015

HOT TOPICS In Dyslexia & Literacy

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PARENTS’ ROADMAP Stages of ParenNng Your Child with Dyslexia

Coping with dyslexia can be a challenging journey for both parent and child.

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But the road ahead can be easier to navigate when you anticipate some of your own milestones in the journey.


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PARENTS’ ROADMAP Stages of ParenNng Your

Child with Dyslexia

No doubt about it, sometimes it can look like this.


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Child with Dyslexia

But it also can look like this!

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Let’s take a look at some of the milestones that may be on a parent’s journey..

It’s been said, parents of children with dyslexia can travel through stages similar to “grief stages.”

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Child with Dyslexia

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Swiss psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler–Ross proposed the “Stages of Grief Model” in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying.

Kübler-Ross Stages of Grief

Depression Bargaining

Acceptance

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Acceptance STAGES OF GRIEF HYPOTHESIS:

A series of five emotional stages are experienced upon

the loss of a loved one

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Of course, reality is messier than constructs.

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Acceptance REALITY IS MESSIER: These aren’t ALL the

possible emotions and they can occur in any order, even

recycle

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Still, such frameworks can offer perspective in situations where people transition through stages.

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Coming to terms with dyslexia can be an emotional journey for a parent — one that can include an initial sense of loss.

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For example, when our children are born, we tend to imagine scenes more like this … Above

Average

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(It’s called the “Lake Wobegone Effect.”)

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school

NOT scenes like this! Embracing a different scenario can be challenging.

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Stages of parenting a child with dyslexia might look something like this …

Search for answers

Diagnosis

Relief

@school

My Child has Dyslexia!

Crisis

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STAGE I: Worries/doubts alternate with denial; crisis brings things to a head and triggers search for answers; diagnosis

brings relief but often anger, especially at the school

Stages of parenting a child with dyslexia might look something like this ...

Worries/Doubts

I.

Diagnosis

Relief

@school Fight for my kid!

Learn rights/responsibilities Nurture

my kid’s strengths


Crisis

Learn to advocate

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STAGE II: Learn to fight for child/refine advocacy skills; learn rights/responsibilities and how to nurture

child’s strengths; find supportive community

Search for answers

Find community & support

Worries/Doubts


I.

II.

Diagnosis

Relief

@school

Fight for kids like mine


Crisis

Learn to advocate

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STAGE III: Fight for ALL kids with dyslexia; learn more about dyslexia and related issues (sometimes becoming

an advocate or OG teacher); forge strategic alliances

Learn more about dyslexia & related issues

Forge strategic alliances/partnerships

III. II.

Search for answers

Fight for my kid!



Find

community & support

Worries/Doubts


I.

Diagnosis

Relief

@school

Fight for kids like mine Find

community & support

Learn more about dyslexia & related issues

Learn about EBP, Implementation

Science, ed-policy, legislation, etc.

(sustainable change)

Improve system for ALL kids My Child

has Dyslexia!

Crisis

Learn to advocate

Forge strategic alliances/partnerships

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STAGE IV: Go deeper—learn about things like evidence-based practices (EBP) and Implementation Science; work to improve the education system for ALL vulnerable children

IV.

Search for answers

Fight for my kid!



I. Worries/Doubts


II. III.

REMEMBER

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Other than Stage I, we might find a healthy way of being at any stage.

Depending on what’s going on with our kids, we might revisit some stages.

This isn’t necessarily sequential or hierarchical.

Parenting Kids With Dyslexia

SOMETIMES, AS WE EVOLVE THROUGH STAGES, WE HIT A BRICK WALL WITH A SCHOOL.

Sometimes, despite skilled advocacy and great effort to partner with a school, it fails to progress and to develop the knowledge, practices, and services

needed to meet the needs of students with dyslexia. .

!

AS ONE PARENT SAYS

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Hitting the school brick wall—one of the most difficult phases of parenting a child with dyslexia—can happen at any point in our own evolution.

“This can spiral us into a whole new circuit that’s more external than grieving the loss of preconceived ideas about our children.”

Support, insights, strategies from parents who have been through this stage can help.

!

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THE POINT IS As you work to help your child, sometimes it’s helpful to: • Get out of the weeds • View the big picture • Understand some of your own milestones in the journey ahead

• Find others on the same path a few steps ahead

I.

II. III.

IV.

What stage(s) are you in now? What stage do you want to be in?

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I.

II. III.

IV.

Have you found yourself here? If so, at what stage(s)?

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Child with Dyslexia

What do you need to do to get to the stage you want to be in?

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Child with Dyslexia

Of course, getting the right kind of help for your child…


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Stages of ParenNng Your Child with Dyslexia

PARENTS’ ROADMAP

…can change the

picture dramatically!

Visit eida.org to learn more about what

teachers need

to know.

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BUT REMEMBER

Appreciate and cultivate those abilities and interests.

You never know what doors they will open for your child later in life.

Keep things in balance. Help your child discover what he or she is good at and enjoys doing!!

FINALLY You don’t need to do all this alone. Many fine organizations can help you find information and resources for you and your child.

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PARENTING KIDS W/

DYSLEXIA

The International Dyslexia Association (IDA), with in-‐depth, evidence-‐based information, is one of the best! Check out eida.org

eida.org

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The End!

Other very helpful organizations include:

Decoding Dyslexia

Find these and more online!

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Getting the right help can change the picture!

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Images licensed from iStockphoto.com (unless otherwise stated). Content is used for illustrative purposes only; any person depicted in this content is a model.

CREDIT/DISCLAIMER

ONLINE PRESENTATIONS/ HOT TOPICS IN DYSLEXIA & LITERACY

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Advancing dialogue and forward thinking where dyslexia and

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COMMUNICATION BY DESIGN Power Mission with the Message [email protected] Twitter: @cdcowen


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IDA EXAMINER July-August 2015 - Parents' roadmap-stages of parenting children with dyslexia