Leads

It was a dark and stormy night.

- Bulwer-Lytton, Paul Clifford

It was a dark and stormy night.

- Madeleine L’Engle, A Wrinkle in Time

Cliché

a trite, stereotyped expression; a sentence or phrase, usually expressing a popular or common thought or idea, that has lost originality, ingenuity, and impact by long overuse, as sadder but wiser, strong as an ox, or faster than a speeding bullet

Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

• It is a parody fiction contest to create the worst first sentence of an imaginary novel. The contest is named in honor of the author of Paul Clifford (1830).

• parody - a humorous or satirical imitation of a serious piece of literature or writing: his hilarious parody of Hamlet's soliloquy

“I told you to wear sensible shoes, but no, your vanity would not allow it!” he yelled at me as if that had something to do with the airplane crashing into the jungle and all the bodies draped in the trees, but it was just the sort of nonsense I was used to from him, making me wish one or the other of us was hanging dead above us, instead of Rodney. 

• Thor F. Carden Madison, TN

Observing how the corpse’s blood streaked the melting vanilla ice cream, Frank wanted to snap his pen in half and add drops of blue ink to the mix, completing the color trio of the American flag – or the French flag, given that the body had just fallen from the top of the Las Vegas Eiffel Tower onto a crème glacée cart. 

•Alanna Smith Wappingers Falls, NY

This was going to be a science fiction novel until I realized that you actually have to know some real science for it to work well, so I changed it to a fantasy novel instead, because that way I can just make up the rules as I go, unhampered by the laws of physics or chemistry, as if you knew what they were anyway. 

•Thor F. Carden Madison, TN

Before they met, his heart was a frozen block of ice, scarred by the skate blades of broken relationships, then she came along and like a beautiful Zamboni flooded his heart with warmth, scraped away the ugly slushy bits, and dumped them in the empty parking lot of his soul. 

•Howie McLennon Ottawa, ON

She walked into my office on legs as long as one of those long-legged birds that you see in Florida - the pink ones, not the white ones - except that she was standing on both of them, not just one of them, like those birds, the pink ones, and she wasn't wearing pink, but I knew right away that she was trouble, which those birds usually aren't.

• Eric RiceSun Prairie, WI

Agent 53986262.9 was strapped precariously to a giant Chinese firework, the fuse slowly shortening like a noodle getting slurped into someone's pursed lips, and although he knew he was running out of time and still had no plan for escape, all he could think of was the song about the Muffin Man and how the word "polyurethane" made it sound like the material was made out of multiple urethras.

• Allison KellyGreat Falls, VA

They had but one last remaining night together, so they embraced each other as tightly as that two-flavour entwined string cheese that is orange and yellowish-white, the orange probably being a bland Cheddar and the white ... Mozzarella, although it could possibly be Provolone or just plain American, as it really doesn't taste distinctly dissimilar from the orange, yet they would have you believe it does by colouring it differently.

• Mariann Simms Alabama

Leads• Leads are not topic sentences. Leads are

not introductions. Leads are seeds that help a writer begin to figure out where the plant in the story is growing. They are an organizational tool, a motivational tool, and a springboard into a piece of writing. They also lead us to endings.

Action Leads

• Jump right into your story by starting with something happening - action.

• Every so often that dead dog dreams me up again.

- Dog Heaven By Stephanie Vaughn

Snapshot Leads

• Create a picture in the reader’s mind.

• The doorman of the Kilmarnock was six foot two. He wore a pale blue uniform, and white gloves made his hands look enormous. He opened the door of the yellow taxi as gently as an old maid stroking a cat.

- Smart Alec Kill By Raymond Chandler

Dialogue Leads

• Maybe you want to start with a line or two of dialogue.

• “Where is Papa going with that ax?” said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast.

- Charlotte’s Web By E.B. White

Thinking Leads

• Start with a character’s or narrator’s thought.

• As a boy, I never knew where my mother was from – where she was born, who her parents were.

- The Color of Water By James McBride

Misleading Leads

• Set up expectations, then surprise the reader.

• I would like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not terrified and screaming like the other people in the car.

- Prairie Home Companion By Garrison Keillor

Set-up Leads • Set-up the action for the whole story in a few

sentences. (exposition without a lead before it)

• In the early days of America when men wore ruffles on their shirts and buckles on their shoes, when they rode horseback and swore allegiance to the King of England, there lived in Boston a man who cared for none of these things. His name was Samuel Adams. His clothes were shabby and plain, he refused to get on a horse, and he hated the King of England.

- Why Don’t You Get a Horse, Sam Adams? By Jean Fritz

Beware

Beginning a piece by asking the reader a question is very risky because that lead has been over-used and lost its uniqueness. It’s also difficult to avoid being cheesy since frequently the questions are rhetorical.

Practice

• Pretend you are the author of one of the following fairytales: Little Red Riding Hood, The Three Little Pigs, or Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

• However, you have not yet written your soon-to-be famous story.

• Experiment by writing five different leads for the story, using five different types.

Example• Jack and the Beanstalk

Snapshot Lead

The lines in her face had deepened, and her eyes were slowly becoming glazed over. None of the old sparkle flickered in her eyes as they bore into his across the long, dirt path. Standing beneath the slanted doorframe, his mother looked as rundown and ancient as the farm. Jack sighed and curled his fingers around the beans in his pocket.

Dialogue Lead

“You did what!” Jack hadn’t heard his mother’s voice reach that volume in ages. He set about trying to calm her.

“Look, it’s not like the cow had any milk left in her or anything,” he stated reassuringly.

“That’s the most ridiculous defense for your actions I could ever imagine!” his mother sputtered, her eyes storming.

Works Cited• Cliché Definition - http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cliche

• Parody Definition - http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/parody

• Snoopy Cartoon - http://i155.photobucket.com/albums/s281/lochbriar/snoopy.jpg

• Bulwer-Lytton Contest - http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/

• Lead information – adapted from Reviser’s Toolbox by Barry Lane, Discover Writing Press, Shoreham, Vermont, 1999.