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Temperamen t Therapy The Love DNA

Marriage Fundamentals Love DNA

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describing the benefits of knowing your Love DNA for a happier marriage.

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Page 1: Marriage Fundamentals Love DNA

Temperament Therapy

The Love DNA

Page 2: Marriage Fundamentals Love DNA

Founder of Good Works of Love Ministry Master in Ministry/Christian Counseling Certified Marriage Educator A.P.S. Temperament Therapist Pastoral Life & Marriage Coach Radio Host & Producer

◦ Great Big Life◦ Gems of Glory◦ Life Line Radio

Author

Love Coach Debbie’s Bio

Page 3: Marriage Fundamentals Love DNA

It’s All About the Heart“Heart” is used over 800 timesAttributes a central place in Spirit-soul activities and Affections

Distinguishes it from the operations of the head and brain.Ancient cultures had a similar concept of the brain and the heart

stimulating and reacting to each other.Hebrew concept of the heart included thought, emotions and will

Classifications of the applications of the word “heart” to man:• Physical• Spiritual• Moral• Emotional• Motivations• Thought life

So we can see that the heart has a big role to play in our human lives.

Page 4: Marriage Fundamentals Love DNA

Marriage Principles #1

CapacityGreat people possess capacity-the capacity to produce something great.

Col 1:27 Christ in us, the Hope of Glory1 John 3:9 Born of His seed. (We have the DNA of Heaven) We inherit which created the universe.

Happy Couples discover their capacity to be great husbands &

wives.

Page 5: Marriage Fundamentals Love DNA

Marriage Principles #2

Goal OrientedGreat people possess vision, aim or goals. Fixing their eyes on the Aim,

the Prize

1 Cor 9:24-26 Run to win

Happy Couples AIM for a Happy Marriage.

Page 6: Marriage Fundamentals Love DNA

Marriage Principles #3

TimeGreat people realize that investment in a good marriage requires time over time.

Gal 6:9 Do not lose heart in doing good.

Happy Couples invest the necessary time and faith for their good works

of love to manifest into a Happy Marriage.

Page 7: Marriage Fundamentals Love DNA

Marriage Principles #4

PerseveranceGreat people have stick-to-it-ness commitment.

Eph 5:3 Dream comes through much great effort.

Happy Couples keep building on their good works

of love.

Page 8: Marriage Fundamentals Love DNA

Marriage Principles #5

ConsistencyGreat people must be ready in season and out of season.

2 Tim 4: 2 Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching.

My Coaching guides couples through the refining fires of what

may seem like a crucible.

Page 9: Marriage Fundamentals Love DNA

Marriage Principles #6

SacrificeGreat people regard others over themselves. How well do we really love our spouses? Marriage is not about us. It is about reflecting the love of Christ in our words and actions.

1 John 4:20-21 We cannot truly love God while neglecting to love those who are created in His image

A Happy Marriage must be sown in Good Works of Love with a pure

heart.

Page 10: Marriage Fundamentals Love DNA

Why Study our Temperament ?Teaches accountability for each persons actions and helps them to understand who God created him/her to be.

Teaches how His wonderful plan, for us as individuals, works and how it can cause every person to be happy and fulfilled during this life.

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These conflicts are caused by◦ Attempting to meet your temperament needs in

an ungodly way.◦ Temperament needs being out of balance, i.e. all

the persons energies are spent meeting some needs while other needs are ignored.

◦ Reactions to unmet temperament needs.

INTERPERSONAL & INTRAPERSONAL CONFLICT

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Understanding of one’s unique self. Surrender to the Lord Jesus Christ and His plan for

our lives A willingness to surrender the ungodly ways of

meeting our temperament needs and replacing them with methods which are conducive to the Bible.

This is a daily surrender.

TEMPERAMENT THEORYEncourages three things:

Page 13: Marriage Fundamentals Love DNA

The Temperament Resides in...

Emotions

WillMind

Page 14: Marriage Fundamentals Love DNA

The Love DNA is found in ...

EmotionsWillMind

Our Love DNA pinpoints our perception of ourselves and the people who love us.

It also is a determining factor in how well we handle the stresses and pressures of life

Our temperament in our emotion area is affected by deep relationships:1. our parents2. Spouse3. children 4. best friend.

Page 15: Marriage Fundamentals Love DNA

The difference between inborn temperament and one’s personality is learned behavior.

BUILDING BLOCKS

Page 16: Marriage Fundamentals Love DNA

Building Blocks The first building

block of understanding human behavior is God-created. This is called our temperament. When we are conceived our unique temperament is placed within us by the order of God.

BUILDING BLOCKS of Understanding

SELF SELECTED“PERSONALITY”

(Mask)

MAN/ENVIRONMENT AFFECTED“CHARACTER”

(Learned Behavior)

GOD-CREATED“TEMPERAMENT”

(Inborn)

Page 17: Marriage Fundamentals Love DNA

Building Blocks The second building block or understanding human behavior is that we are man/environment-affected. This is called our character.

Upon birth we begin to interact with our environment and our environment interacts with us. The environment is everything we see, hear, smell, feel, and learn. These perceptions are forever locked into our brain and these things slightly mold and alter our temperament, forming character (temperament + environment = Character)

BUILDING BLOCKS

SELF SELECTED“PERSONALITY”

(Mask)

MAN/ENVIRONMENT AFFECTED“CHARACTER”

(Learned Behavior)

GOD-CREATED“TEMPERAMENT”

(Inborn)

Page 18: Marriage Fundamentals Love DNA

Building Blocks The third building block of understanding human behavior is self-selected. This is called our personality. This may or may not be part of our temperament or character. This is the way we perceive how we must behave to survive in the world in which we live.

The one major problem with personality is that it is a mask we wear and as with any mask it can’t be worn for very long. Eventually the person will revert back to temperament and character. This may be why some people may act one way at home and different way out in the world.

BUILDING BLOCKS

SELF SELECTED“PERSONALITY”

(Mask)

MAN/ENVIRONMENT AFFECTED“CHARACTER”

(Learned Behavior)

GOD-CREATED“TEMPERAMENT”

(Inborn)

Page 19: Marriage Fundamentals Love DNA

Names of the 5 Temperaments

What is your Temperament?

Sanguine Phlegmatic Supine

Melancholy Choleric

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The understanding of temperament gives us a special knowledge of the inner workings of ourselves and others.

It helps identify the pressures we feel which results from:◦ The world in which we live◦ Our weaknesses and desires

TEMPERAMENT

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The understanding of temperament also helps us develop a stronger relationship with God by showing us how to let God work in our lives and how to interact with God in ways that are beneficial to us.

Temperament therapy offers answers to why we have stresses and conflict in our lives and how to overcome them.

MORE ON TEMPERAMENT

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There are parts of man that are closely related and cannot be separated. Each is a determining factor in man’s behavior; they are the physical, spiritual and emotional areas of mankind (mind, spirit and body).

TEMPERAMENT CONTINUED

mind

bodyspirit

Page 23: Marriage Fundamentals Love DNA

Most temperament researchers and writers have the simplistic view that an individual is one temperament (melancholy).

This course teaches this is seldom true.

Humans are complex both biologically and emotionally. For example and individual may be a Melancholy in social interaction (mind), a Sanguine in the decision making area (will) and a Phlegmatic in deeper relationships (emotions)

TEMPERAMENT BLENDS

Page 24: Marriage Fundamentals Love DNA

Man attempts to meet his temperament needs

Happiness in marriage is greatly dependent on how well each spouse understands their partner's temperament and how willing they are to meet their partner's temperament needs.

The way a man perceives himself, his world and God will determine how he will behave. These perceptions are founded in the temperament. Therefore, on the basis of this premises, the temperament is the determining factor of what we are, but our environment and our relationship with God determine what we will become.Can we meet our needs in ways that please the Lord? Idealistic!Man has not been able to walk solely in the Spirit; sometimes he walks in the flesh.Just as the body is made of three parts, the temperament consists of three parts: inclusion(mind), control(will), affections(emotions).Our temperaments have weaknesses which cause problems in our social life, our marital life and our spiritual life.

Page 25: Marriage Fundamentals Love DNA

InclusionEvil thoughts and an evil eye are

found in the inclusion area.Control

Sins of pride, foolishness, and blasphemy are found in the control area.

AffectionAdulteries, fornication and

lasciviousness (lusting) are found in the affection area.

* Wickedness, deceit, murder, thefts, and covetousness are a combination of two or more of the temperament needs of Inclusion, Control and Affection.

Temperament is made up of three specific areas

Control(will)Affections (emotions)Inclusion (mind)

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We call these perfections STRENGTHS.And when properly used, bring glory to God. “Seeing you have purified your soul in

obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brothers, see that you love one another with a pure heart fervently.” 1 Peter 1:22

Temperament Perfections

Page 27: Marriage Fundamentals Love DNA

To Bring God glory:Make up your mind to focus on the good and

not the bad. (Inclusion)

Decide to bend our will and through that strength, meet the needs of another person. (Control)

Allow our emotions to reach out and give love and affection to another person, regardless of our own wants and needs. (Affection)

How Temperament Can Bring Glory to God in your Marriage.

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Email: [email protected]: 770-307-7759Web: http://happymarriage4us.comFacebook: /coachdebbiekesslerTwitter: /Happymar4us